sandinista!

I don't know if she's excited but she's being really cute about the whole thing. She'll lift my shirt and say, hi baby! Then put it down and say, bye baby! She also kisses the baby. She will also put her stuffed animals under her shirt and walk around holding her back groaning lol.

Mann [one of the perps the Free Patriot and its following wants to celebrate as a hero] was sentenced to life in prison in 2008 for killing two women in a nursing home...
Yeah, some hero. Idiots!

It's amazing what garbage websites people peruse for their "news". This "story" posted at the free patriot on 7 Nov 2013 provides an account of a sick crime for which one Michael Parr and one Nathan Mann were convicted back in July 2012. So not only are the morons at the free patriot late reporting this story but they also seem to glorify what two real sickos did to another sicko - after he was dead from having his throat cut. So yes, they got the story wrong, too. But then, nobody ever accused these people of being bright.

I won't name names, but there have been many posters over the years who had crystal clear major alarm bells raised before their SOs even had interview dates, but barreled right through anyways, damn the consequences. The train can be stopped a lot farther back. It's not USCIS' job to stop all the trains, and it's certainly not what AP is for, etc. Ultimately that responsibility lies with the petitioner. I guess it's important to be considerate that importing totally obvious scammers, or total sociopaths has effects that go beyond just the petitioner and their families?

And both parties are cool with you having access to their correspondence, and having it interpreted for you by someone on VJ? Being worried, or suspecting something doesn't make it cool to violate anyone else's privacy if that's the case.

MENA VJ archives. Read 'em. You don't need a time traveling Delorean, just learn how to use advanced search, or go back a few hundred pages in MENA (there's a little tab above where it shows what page you're currently viewing that lets you plug in any random page number you want). It's kind of interesting to travel back and see what people's mindsets were, and how they are now, and how or why that changed. And how and why some things are exactly the same, and that's ok. MENA VJ paleontology can be informative in all kinds of ways.

MENA VJ archives. Read 'em. You don't need a time traveling Delorean, just learn how to use advanced search, or go back a few hundred pages in MENA (there's a little tab above where it shows what page you're currently viewing that lets you plug in any random page number you want). It's kind of interesting to travel back and see what people's mindsets were, and how they are now, and how or why that changed. And how and why some things are exactly the same, and that's ok. MENA VJ paleontology can be informative in all kinds of ways.

This is just my random opinion, but I viewed my participation in the immigration process to bring my then fiancé over here not only in terms of "ohmygosh I love him and want to be with him night and day", but also in terms of his character, ethics, and morality as a boon to the society I live in. My actions, petitioning for him to move here, affected more than just myself, and my family. Beyond if he made a good husband, father, I felt like it was my social responsibility to ensure to the best of my ability that the person I was helping move here would not be detrimental to anyone else here. Others, obviously, disregard that.

This is just my random opinion, but I viewed my participation in the immigration process to bring my then fiancé over here not only in terms of "ohmygosh I love him and want to be with him night and day", but also in terms of his character, ethics, and morality as a boon to the society I live in. My actions, petitioning for him to move here, affected more than just myself, and my family. Beyond if he made a good husband, father, I felt like it was my social responsibility to ensure to the best of my ability that the person I was helping move here would not be detrimental to anyone else here. Others, obviously, disregard that.

@browneyes86 it was just like you said...peice'o cake ...it took us a week actually because I live far from casa and Rabat. Thank u all for your encouragement and wishes

I won't name names, but there have been many posters over the years who had crystal clear major alarm bells raised before their SOs even had interview dates, but barreled right through anyways, damn the consequences. The train can be stopped a lot farther back. It's not USCIS' job to stop all the trains, and it's certainly not what AP is for, etc. Ultimately that responsibility lies with the petitioner. I guess it's important to be considerate that importing totally obvious scammers, or total sociopaths has effects that go beyond just the petitioner and their families?

I felt very much the same in terms of bringing my husband here. My ex husband has zero ethics or morals( he stole 100k from my brother who he was in business with, in turn we lost everything including the house we built, a story for another day). I was interested in my now husband because of his character and ethics, among many other reasons. I will also say that it was my idea to visit my husband in Jordan the first time, he never asked me. He wasn't one of those men you hear of who latches on to an Ameican woman and never lets go, he had never given a thought before we met in real life, about coming or wanting to be in the US. He had a very successful career, many friends, a wonderful, close and loving family that he had no desire to ever leave. He knew that once he got here getting a job would be difficult (which if was), that he would be lucky to get a job in his field right awayf(his first job was loading trucks at Walmart), he knew the Muslim and Middle Eastern community here is virtually non-exisitant(we live in NH), that he would be the step fatther to my 2 teenage boys, that my family lives out of state and we aren't very close, he knew life in general would just be a lot more difficult. He is from a very wealthy family, he never wanted for anything, he never cooked or cleaned(I keep telling him I want a live in housekeeper like his mom ). He didn't care about giving it all up, he just wanted to be with me. We honestly never think about the age difference, we are too busy living life to even give it a second thought. None of our family and friends think twice about it either. We are just Iike any other married couple, we just happen to have an age difference. There is never a day that passes where we don't tell each other how lucky we are to have each other. We are truly happy....I love him with all of my heart.
My dad and step mom are coming up from Massachusetts for dinner tonight. My dad is having surgery for an abdominal aortic aneurism on Friday, my husband wanted to have them over because my dad's recovery will be long and wants to spend family time with him. Time for me to finish preparing the meal, I hope they like middle eastern food, hubby wanted me to prepare something they have never tried.

This is just my random opinion, but I viewed my participation in the immigration process to bring my then fiancé over here not only in terms of "ohmygosh I love him and want to be with him night and day", but also in terms of his character, ethics, and morality as a boon to the society I live in. My actions, petitioning for him to move here, affected more than just myself, and my family. Beyond if he made a good husband, father, I felt like it was my social responsibility to ensure to the best of my ability that the person I was helping move here would not be detrimental to anyone else here. Others, obviously, disregard that.

This is just my random opinion, but I viewed my participation in the immigration process to bring my then fiancé over here not only in terms of "ohmygosh I love him and want to be with him night and day", but also in terms of his character, ethics, and morality as a boon to the society I live in. My actions, petitioning for him to move here, affected more than just myself, and my family. Beyond if he made a good husband, father, I felt like it was my social responsibility to ensure to the best of my ability that the person I was helping move here would not be detrimental to anyone else here. Others, obviously, disregard that.

I don't mean to nitpick when I've largely agreed with some of the rest of your posts, but I haven't seen the above view expressed by any of the "rainbow and unicorn killing" veterans. To the contrary, I'd say many veterans see red flags that are so obvious they can be detected from a few paragraphs posted on an anonymous online forum. There may be a danger that the USC is wearing blinders and ignores the red flags, but that's not the same thing as a beneficiary acting flawlessly legitimate for years until one day flipping the switch that no one could have seen coming.

I have met a woman affected by the I864. 5 years after her divorce, she had the IRS show up at her door saying she needed to pay $15k in back taxes that her husband owed because he lied on his taxes that he had 5+ dependents after they divorced and had taken off back to Jordan. I don't know about you, but I would not be thrilled.

Yep, yep! And I agree with what Sandinista wrote above me.

(even though she is obviously going to hell in a hand basket for being olderrrrrr).

Those are all good things, what you recommend. I've read lots of helpful things you've written, and appreciated your clearheaded approach. And you're right, at some point you've got to chill a bit, and let stuff happen, and take risks, and see where your life takes you. There are, however, varying degrees of quality to those assessments. And those assessments have been analyzed for many years on VJ, and will probably continue to be, because there are no hard and fast answers that are always correct, in every situation, all of the time. Some people's ideas of what putting their SO through a scrutinizing ringer consists of can be really off. Some people's perceptions of "this action TOTALLY means he loves me forever and ever" are just, no. Some of that is just difference of opinion/values/personalities/priorities. And some of it is just #######. All kinds of opinions on this exist on the board.
Sometimes a guy from MENA is genuinely quirky, and stuff he'll say is totally incongruent culture wise, but that's just him. Other times, he's reciting perfectly rehearsed BS. Does the American in this scenario know enough about the place this guy comes from to know what he's saying is weird for there? If so, does she know enough about him to tell whether or not he's being a big poseur for her sake, and investigate or discuss the matter more in depth with him?
The consulates assess these relationships all day, every day. Even they get it wrong. There's couples denied the first go around that are together years and years later, and ones they've let in that have left me, as a reader, with my jaw hanging open. So obviously it's a hard thing to assess. And without just shouting at people to "respect the consulate's authority and experience !!!!!", there is something to the fact that MENA ones are difficult. And that they far more often err on the side of handing someone a visa who really shouldn't have one, as opposed to blocking legit people.
Some people don't err as much on the side of "they're probably totally legit" with their opinions here. Oh well. Who cares? People are just talking to each other here. The ones who don't err on that side with their opinions usually didn't arrive there out of nowhere. Or out of just not liking women that are older than men in MENA relationships.

Those are all good things, what you recommend. I've read lots of helpful things you've written, and appreciated your clearheaded approach. And you're right, at some point you've got to chill a bit, and let stuff happen, and take risks, and see where your life takes you. There are, however, varying degrees of quality to those assessments. And those assessments have been analyzed for many years on VJ, and will probably continue to be, because there are no hard and fast answers that are always correct, in every situation, all of the time. Some people's ideas of what putting their SO through a scrutinizing ringer consists of can be really off. Some people's perceptions of "this action TOTALLY means he loves me forever and ever" are just, no. Some of that is just difference of opinion/values/personalities/priorities. And some of it is just #######. All kinds of opinions on this exist on the board.
Sometimes a guy from MENA is genuinely quirky, and stuff he'll say is totally incongruent culture wise, but that's just him. Other times, he's reciting perfectly rehearsed BS. Does the American in this scenario know enough about the place this guy comes from to know what he's saying is weird for there? If so, does she know enough about him to tell whether or not he's being a big poseur for her sake, and investigate or discuss the matter more in depth with him?
The consulates assess these relationships all day, every day. Even they get it wrong. There's couples denied the first go around that are together years and years later, and ones they've let in that have left me, as a reader, with my jaw hanging open. So obviously it's a hard thing to assess. And without just shouting at people to "respect the consulate's authority and experience !!!!!", there is something to the fact that MENA ones are difficult. And that they far more often err on the side of handing someone a visa who really shouldn't have one, as opposed to blocking legit people.
Some people don't err as much on the side of "they're probably totally legit" with their opinions here. Oh well. Who cares? People are just talking to each other here. The ones who don't err on that side with their opinions usually didn't arrive there out of nowhere. Or out of just not liking women that are older than men in MENA relationships.

I approach my relationship in a methodical way partly because it's my personality and partly as a way of feeling in control. And my advice reflects that. But sometimes I take it too far and end up making myself miserable and hurting the person who has been nothing but awesome to me for the past two years. I haven't been able to find a good balance.
And yeah, all my risk-benefits assessments and pro/con lists I make in my head lend a partly false sense of security because as you said, there are no hard and fast answers that are always correct, in every situation, all of the time.
So I will still encourage people to take their time, spend as much time as possible with their partners, keep their eyes open and ask the right questions because I think that's the right way to do things and I thought that even before MENA became a part of my regular vocabulary. But how to prepare for the future unknowns, changes you can't anticipate? I've got nothing. All I can say is talk, but what if you agree on something in 2013 but by 2023, life experience and changing values have caused your spouse to change their mind? And you can't live with that? THAT'S scary.

Sandinistal, this is such an excellent point! I have thought about this, too. The solution I came up with was to befriend as many other Algerians as I could, on pen pal sites, on YouTube, wherever I could find them...then try to have as many friendly conversations with them as possible. Then compare. And ask them questions - talk about similar subjects, and see if there's a certain way of thinking or reacting that seems normal or not.
I also sought out many Algerian women, and asked them about Algerian men. I was able to learn a lot this way! And I was also able to differentiate between loving him for his 'Algerian charm' or loving him for his individuality. In the end, it was a little of both.
And I've come to find out that...I really, really, really love Algerians in general. They're soo enjoyable to talk with. But none of the Algerian friends I made gave me the same kind of feelings that MY Algerian gives me. I do notice a difference - something special. A type of insight that my guy has that is not common, and runs a little deeper than most. The way he can read me. The way he listens. The way he makes me feel better when I'm down. The way he makes me laugh. The funny faces he makes. All of those things and a million more are what make my heart go boom boom boom every time he comes online.

Hey girl,
It's funny, me and mohammed were just talking about his three year anniversary come this December. it's crazy lol as it just seems like only months ago when I got your call that your husband was on his way. In a few months, we will finally ROC and hopefully by next year some time we will be done and look forward to his citizenship.
We have been just bumming around all summer long, chilling out by the lake on the days he is off work. My daughter has started driving every where and Mohammed has far better patience lol than I do teaching her. She spent the summer with her dad in Wisconsin and that left just the two of us to basically do nothing but chill out together. Right now, we are on a mini vacation seeing the West in a RV and he is just loving it which I knew he would. We are headed to Palm Springs, CA. I'm no longer working, as we ventured a few months ago into a food truck business with a old friend who has his own food truck. He was so interested in Morocco and the food, that I prepared some Moroccan chicken and beef kabobs for him to taste, and wouldn't ya know he loved it so much that he added it to his daily lunch menu and it's been a huge hit and now orders have doubled weekly up too 600. I had to show him how to prepare them while we are away and thank God I did. If all goes well, I would love to thrown in some other dishes.
Well I best go now, love the picture you posted of the two of you.
Take care...

Those are all good things, what you recommend. I've read lots of helpful things you've written, and appreciated your clearheaded approach. And you're right, at some point you've got to chill a bit, and let stuff happen, and take risks, and see where your life takes you. There are, however, varying degrees of quality to those assessments. And those assessments have been analyzed for many years on VJ, and will probably continue to be, because there are no hard and fast answers that are always correct, in every situation, all of the time. Some people's ideas of what putting their SO through a scrutinizing ringer consists of can be really off. Some people's perceptions of "this action TOTALLY means he loves me forever and ever" are just, no. Some of that is just difference of opinion/values/personalities/priorities. And some of it is just #######. All kinds of opinions on this exist on the board.
Sometimes a guy from MENA is genuinely quirky, and stuff he'll say is totally incongruent culture wise, but that's just him. Other times, he's reciting perfectly rehearsed BS. Does the American in this scenario know enough about the place this guy comes from to know what he's saying is weird for there? If so, does she know enough about him to tell whether or not he's being a big poseur for her sake, and investigate or discuss the matter more in depth with him?
The consulates assess these relationships all day, every day. Even they get it wrong. There's couples denied the first go around that are together years and years later, and ones they've let in that have left me, as a reader, with my jaw hanging open. So obviously it's a hard thing to assess. And without just shouting at people to "respect the consulate's authority and experience !!!!!", there is something to the fact that MENA ones are difficult. And that they far more often err on the side of handing someone a visa who really shouldn't have one, as opposed to blocking legit people.
Some people don't err as much on the side of "they're probably totally legit" with their opinions here. Oh well. Who cares? People are just talking to each other here. The ones who don't err on that side with their opinions usually didn't arrive there out of nowhere. Or out of just not liking women that are older than men in MENA relationships.

I just want to mention just in case people may benefit from this is that to me, the worst possible scenario isn't really breaking up-- but rather breaking up and then having to deal with the I864 if the other person turned out to be a giant tool. So for those who haven't really read or understood the I-864, maybe take the time to do so now. Divorce does not negate it. It does not "time out." The beneficiary either works enough qualified quarters (minimum of 10 years iirc) or becomes a USC. Lots of discussion about heartbreak and such, but not a lot of discussion about how when you're in the midst of this, it could also turn out to be a financial disaster that affects you and your family's life for a long, long time.