LostInUSA

12 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Your other option is to return to the UK if you don’t have anyone willing or able to be your sponsor.   As things are, even if you filed today, it would be up to 8 months before you’re authorized to work.

 

Sounds like maybe none of this immigration business was planned for at all.

It was... But the family interfered, some things that could not be helped happened, and just went nuts.

1 hour ago, Rocio0010 said:

Wait, you said "he's done HIS tax returns" but you're married. You two should be filling "married".

I have no income. He has my ITIN number. I'm assuming that's what you mean.

16 minutes ago, *Snowdrop* said:

Joint sponsor doesn't have to be family. Do you or your husband have any good friends who might be willing to help? It's a big ask but if you can't ask family.

I didn't know that someone other than family could do it. I'll pass the suggestion on and see if that opens up any options. Thank you.

1 minute ago, Rocio0010 said:

Tell your husband to quit that job and apply for a formal job (not under the table). The poverty guideline for a household of 2 is around $23k a year, which is nothing. Shouldn't be hard to get a formal job.

I tried that last night. He didn't sound happy about it as the pay is not bad for him.
I'm going to talk to him again tonight and show him the responses to this post.

Thank you all for your help and advice so far. I really, REALLY appreciate it.

3 hours ago, Mike E said:

 

Well, I'm even more terrified now. I've never done anything wrong ever and none of what is happening is my fault. I'm so scared to the point where I'm not eating (lost 20lb+ in a month), not sleeping, I have panic attacks...
I'm a mess and I don't know what I can do.

4 hours ago, Rocio0010 said:

First, as @powerpuff has said, your husband, even if he's below the poverty guidelines, is still your main sponsor. Informal unemployment does not count towards it, but he still needs to report in his tax return.

You need to get a joint sponsor. There is no other way around it. If you don't, your case will be denied and you will still be out of status. 

You want to get on to this quickly. Even though overstays and unauthorized work is forgiven for spouses of USC, there is a small, but possible, chance of being detained by ICE. I'll kindly let @Mike E to link a post what happened to an OP that was apprehended during a traffic accident. (Thanks, Mike E, I promise I will save it when you post it!)

He's done his tax returns, as far as I know. I don't even know where to start with a joint sponsor or who would do it due to his family being how they are as people.

4 hours ago, mytruelove18 said:

Sorry for your situation. How old is your husband that is living with family?

it is supose if you came in a k1 visa back then he needed show affidavit at the consulate stage to soonsor you.

sorry that i ask this: what kind of man is he that sll those years he didnt help you to aos? , why he gave the money to his family instead of help you , your wife?

is his family more important than you?

If you are living with his family then you dont have a big rent payment, so why not save money and send aos package Before?

It's a whole situation. Thank you though.

My husband is 36. He had a pretty good job at the time of filing for the K1. He got fired feb 2020 because he got sick and called out for a few weeks. Turns out it was covid at the time. Previous debts and medical bills (he's a type 1 diabetic) have been swallowing his money as well as providing food and rent here. he gave the money to his family so it didn't get spent on other things.
His family are awful for pressure and threats. Where they have provided a roof over my head for me, the entitlement, priorities, morals, hypocrisy, and narcissism is gross.
I don't have an income to save anything. I've been earning my 'keep' by basically being Mary Poppins.

6 minutes ago, powerpuff said:

Your US citizen spouse is your primary financial sponsor. He needs to show that he has income to supper the intending immigrant (you) at 125% of the Federal poverty guidelines (https://www.uscis.gov/i-864p) Usually, they want to see that he’s making above that (because it’s a really low number) so keep that in mind. He needs to have official income, under the table stuff will not work. 
 

You can have a joint sponsor who will agree to provide an affidavit of support (Form I-864) and supporting financial evidence. You husband still needs to have filed taxes for the last 3 years (they ask on the form) and they require to send tax transcripts for the most recent year (2021), even if it’s below the 125% of poverty guidelines. 
 

 

Thank you for this.
I don't think I'll be able to get a joint sponsor. This family thing is a whole mess and is another reason why I want to desperately get this done sooner rather than later so I can support myself. 
It's a headache, for sure.

HI there.

I've been here since 2018.
I've only now got around to filing my AoS due to the money for the application being withheld from me by his family that I live with, and them trying to push me to go back to my home country.
Long story there (I've been used as a cleaner, nanny, house maintenance... Cinderella etc.. I'm pretty sure they just hate me because I'm trying to better myself now) and I'm now in the process of being made homeless (they kicked my husband out in the middle of 2020).
But... I'm on it, have the $ now, and I'm having concerns about my application.

My husband was out of work during covid and is currently working 'under the table' since around the middle of last year. It was the only job he could find. Before that, he lived on the government checks and unemployment for a while. 

I"m desperate to get out to work, drive, and live my life and not in this hell hole I'm currently living in. I want to make a better place for us and expand our income t better our lives.
Does anyone have any help or advice I can use with this, please?

Thank you so much.

I never expected a red carpet. At all.

Much like a lot of other LDRs, everything is built online so you think everything is rosey and will be amazing. It's only when you live with or spend a long period of time with someone you find out their habits, flaws, and such. Soooo, yeah. I came here based on what I was spoonfed over Skype and other social media platforms. Had this amazing future mapped out. After a few weeks, it all changed.

I'm sorry that happened, @abbynak. If I knew it was going to happen, I wouldn't have come here.

To everyone who has commented, thank you. I will look over all of this and see what my options are and where I stand with things. A lot of you have been super helpful and I really appreciate everything you have posted. 💙

1 minute ago, EandH0904 said:

I am sorry that you are in a horrible marriage and feel like you were betrayed. 

 

While you say that you cannot afford to go back - are you telling me that you have NO ONE who would help you move if you told them about this? You may not have a couple thousand $$ to get you and your property back but maybe you have 10 friends you could borrow a little money from - even if back in the UK. 

 

You say you have friends here that you enjoy being with - why have you not left this man and gone to stay with friends until you figure out the next step?

 

 

Those friends in the UK helped me get here. They're not exactly flush themselves.

Honestly, I'm scared to leave. I'm scared he'll pull some stunt and get me somehow. Either hurt or someone telling me I need to leave.

It sounds ridiculous... I really do feel scared to leave. It's a shame because his family are wonderful.

4 minutes ago, debbiedoo said:

Really, i think you have to leave if you want to leave him (and based on what you said, you should)

 

ask family back home to buy you a ticket. maybe they can all pitch in together. My dad would send me the money without a second thought. He sent me money when i left my ex to help me get out.

 

 

My dad died about 10 years ago. I don't speak to my mother due to past abuse.

I'm pretty stuck at this moment in time.

2 minutes ago, Hello729 said:

Quite frankly, I am without words.

Yeah, me too. I never would have thought this was going to happen. 

13 minutes ago, Alabamak1 said:

unfortunately, that is what marriage and Visa is tied to. it's a catch 22 till you at least get to that point of GC in hand. Hope someone back home can send you a ticket or a way out of this situation

So, once (if) I get a green card, I can get out of this? Nothing will come back on me? At least that way I can work and save to leave. Is there not a form or something to say I no longer depend on him with the AoS?

13 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Well you are out of status, the K1 was only good for 90 days so I see no other option than to go home.

I have nothing to go back to normal can I afford to do so. All my money has gone into moving here.

4 minutes ago, Alabamak1 said:

Sorry to hear this, but your best bet is to get some money and go back home. If he doesn't apply for your AOS, you are basically done. ESTA is gone too at this point, and being here is bound by his commitment to finish the process. Unfortunately that is all you got left. Staying here like a prisoner...is not gonna change things.

It's a bit hard to get money when you cannot legally work. I'd love to be able to work so I can get out of here, meet new people, and have a social life again.

2 minutes ago, K1visaHopeful said:

This is EXACTLY why K1s are given the IMBRA Pamplet at their interview.

I would look into your rights as an immigrant as although the abuse you are enduring is not physical or sexual (yet) this IS emotional and financial abuse. Most would consider that as domestic violence. 

I would speak to a lawyer. You may be able to file your own AOS application under VAWA status. That would allow you an expedite on your EAD too so you you could start work and get the HELL out of there. 

Start gathering evidence now and get to a lawyer.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/visa-information-resources/imbra.html

 

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Self AoS is a thing? No money and lack of evidence since wiping the card and locking everything down will make this very difficult.

I honestly believed, when I got here, that life would be awesome. That things would be great etc.. I was so wrong and I'm absolutely gutted. I hate myself for falling for all of this and going through with it all. I wish I knew everything I know now and saved a lot of time, money, and heartache.

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions so far. I appreciate you all so much.

Hello. Congratulations to all of you in amazing, loving relationships and marriages.

I have been here for about 6 months. Got married 3 days after landing thinking it would be awesome. Been in a LDR for 4 years. Had our ups and downs but always took his side and helped him through the .

So, I paid to get here, paid for EVERYTHING. The application, medical, flight, shipping, flying my pet over. I landed with $40.

I've left my (very small) family, hundreds of friends, a good paying full time job, fully furnished house to be with this man (he didn't want to leave his huge family, only just got a job because no one would help him with sponsorship with me).

Since being here, we've ended up moving into his cousin's basement. My stuff still in boxes and suitcases, the cat chasing and catching mice, spiders everywhere... I never go out, I don't see much in the way of sunlight. My only $40 was spend on a birth control pill that he told me I had to get because he couldn't afford protection. 

If I ask to go out anywhere, I get hell. I've seen my US friends twice since being here. He gets so crabby with me if I am texting friends or if I'm gaming with them. He got SO angry when I was out with his cousin to help her in Ikea. Very much a 'i don't like you doing things' attitude.

My husband argues with me constantly, has told I'm not welcome here, nearly threw me out of his car in the pouring rain on a highway because I asked him to slow down. He refuses to put in the Adjustment of Status forms for reasons he won't tell me, he never seems to have any money even though his mother has given him over $1.5k, always gives me hell about nothing, I've recently found he's got folders full of female facebook "friends" and his other cousin's girlfriend's photographs and videos of them performing sex acts on his phone, messages arranging meet ups and asking for sex with his ex/best friend dated right up until I landed...

I've also found cartoon porn of children!!! He's also on an online blog saving links to very, very young women performing gross acts. Texts looking for cocaine... This is all just the tip of the iceberg. I cannot count the amount of times he has cheated on me since we got together.

He's giving me because I'm homesick and don't feel comfortable. I miss being out and about, makes me out to be a bad person for not being intimate with him because his hygiene is terrible. Honest to god, he's probably showered 5 times and cleaned his teeth 4 since I've been here.

It's very his way or no way around here. He's so manipulative and argumentative. Absolutely everything is twisted to being my fault.

So, I'm stuck. I have spent all of my money getting here and marrying this guy who said he loved me and I was the only one. I'm getting the and being told I have to lighten up "for better or worse", that I have to give myself up and have sex with him to stop him wandering etc..

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this terrible relationship. I don't want to be with a man who treats women like this and has a load on the side. God knows how.

I don't love him. This is awful and I've spoken to online councillors because I have felt suicidal.

I am so broken. He's told me if I speak to his family about anything he has done, he'll just throw me out and I'll end up getting deported.

He's, allegedly, wiped the SD card of all the gross he had on it but has told me before that he knows of apps to retrieve deleted data.

I love this country and I love my friends I have here. I'm so ashamed of everything that's happened and happening, no one (apart from his family) knows I'm/we're married.

What can I do? I'm stuck, not a penny to my name, cannot drive, work, or make calls without him giving me hell for numbers appearing on the bill (so I use other online messaging services).

What options are out there for situations like this? I can't live like this, I cannot return back to the UK as I have no money and no home or job to go to...

Please... Any help would be greatly appreciated.

- A friend in need.