Igsy

I know that she cannot give her side of the story, and I may come off as a jerk husband to you but it really doesn't matter at this point. I said in my first post that i am not here to bash on my wife. I obviously can't give the entire story in a forums board and i'm trying to get help so that i can avoid any emotional or financial fallout.
 
By the way, I did receive a letter in the mail saying that we need to file a I-751 so how could she come back to the states if her Conditional Permanent Resident expires in October? I'm still reading the FAQ on this site to try to avoid the affidavit of support.
 
sidenote- Yes! she's and adult and she can do whatever she wants without my consent, but good luck to you if that's how your two-dimensional, black and white ways of viewing relationships/marriage is.

Thanks for your advice. I will change my direct deposit for now and make those changes to my account. I agree that she has a small chance of hiring an attorney. I'm relieved about the I-864, and I just wanted to be sure because supporting someone that you aren't married to for 10 years sounds like a nightmare.
 
Will divorce and try to move on. Thank you, Tahoma. Appreciate your non-biased response.

Mimilicious, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope he feels better, but I'd like to say something about people with depression and suicide.
 
ive been depressed before. Sure , I didn't have suicidal thoughts but when my wife injured herself , it was extremely selfish, careless and awful. Carless because if she's thinking about taking her life , and if she was successful  (god forbid) she's choosing on taking the easy way out - leaving me with all of our problems (physically and mentally). And by hurting herself - what stops her from calling 911 and claiming that I abused her?
 
spousal abuse claims are very serious. I could be charged with a felony and one thing I learned from my friends/family is that women are good liars. When I saw what my wife had done to herself, I'm sorry but I felt sick to my stomach.
 
as I said , we will get treatment and I'm sorry about your son , I hope he gets better but nobody should take the blame for someone else that takes their life. 
 
If if someone goes for treatment and they are not doing it for THEMSELVES, most of the time they will FAIL. 
 
Again , a big thank you to the VJ community. I will fight for my marriage. We will get help.

Thanks to everyone that replied. This really opened my eyes and I know I can't take this lightly.
 
My brother offered her a job (he's a manager) in a well known electronics store and she expressed that she did not want to work in retail, and that she doesn't drive so she wouldn't be able to get there. 
 
We used ECE to look at her foreign diploma but she decided that she doesn't want to be a teacher so I told her she should go to college here and discover what she wants to do. 
 
The good thing is she will qualify to enroll as a resident this summer / fall.
 
as far as sex goes, thank you for addressing the fact that if a partner does not want to have sex, they shouldn't need to. It's not supposed to feel like a "chore". 
 
My situtation cant be examined in a forum. I mainly came here because I found the message she sent to herself, and I want to know what options we have. I did not think her depression is a sickness, because honestly what does she have to worry about? I support her financially and we're the same age. I feel like she's my daughter more than a wife. 
 
Anyway, thanks everyone for your support and like I said, we will get help. I've already set an appointment for her.

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

She gave herself the bruises by punching herself. It is really bad and frightening because I care about her and I don't know how she can be so careless. 
 
Thanks for for the help everyone. I am getting her a doctor , and a counselor for us. I know she gave yo her life by moving her but I didn't expect she would turn out like this.
 
and clearly shes depressed, I understand that, but I feel there is a misunderstanding. I want to send her to Russia to unwind. It would be good to visit her friends and family, and especially her grandfather. I'm not trying to divorce her or abandon her. I'm simply suggesting a vacation while she clears her mind.  It's better than having her feel "stuck" at home. If you're curious, she doesn't work, or drive.
 
im not even going to mention driving because I feel I could write an entire essay on that.

Mimilicious, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope he feels better, but I'd like to say something about people with depression and suicide.
 
ive been depressed before. Sure , I didn't have suicidal thoughts but when my wife injured herself , it was extremely selfish, careless and awful. Carless because if she's thinking about taking her life , and if she was successful  (god forbid) she's choosing on taking the easy way out - leaving me with all of our problems (physically and mentally). And by hurting herself - what stops her from calling 911 and claiming that I abused her?
 
spousal abuse claims are very serious. I could be charged with a felony and one thing I learned from my friends/family is that women are good liars. When I saw what my wife had done to herself, I'm sorry but I felt sick to my stomach.
 
as I said , we will get treatment and I'm sorry about your son , I hope he gets better but nobody should take the blame for someone else that takes their life. 
 
If if someone goes for treatment and they are not doing it for THEMSELVES, most of the time they will FAIL. 
 
Again , a big thank you to the VJ community. I will fight for my marriage. We will get help.

Mimilicious, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope he feels better, but I'd like to say something about people with depression and suicide.
 
ive been depressed before. Sure , I didn't have suicidal thoughts but when my wife injured herself , it was extremely selfish, careless and awful. Carless because if she's thinking about taking her life , and if she was successful  (god forbid) she's choosing on taking the easy way out - leaving me with all of our problems (physically and mentally). And by hurting herself - what stops her from calling 911 and claiming that I abused her?
 
spousal abuse claims are very serious. I could be charged with a felony and one thing I learned from my friends/family is that women are good liars. When I saw what my wife had done to herself, I'm sorry but I felt sick to my stomach.
 
as I said , we will get treatment and I'm sorry about your son , I hope he gets better but nobody should take the blame for someone else that takes their life. 
 
If if someone goes for treatment and they are not doing it for THEMSELVES, most of the time they will FAIL. 
 
Again , a big thank you to the VJ community. I will fight for my marriage. We will get help.

Mimilicious, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope he feels better, but I'd like to say something about people with depression and suicide.
 
ive been depressed before. Sure , I didn't have suicidal thoughts but when my wife injured herself , it was extremely selfish, careless and awful. Carless because if she's thinking about taking her life , and if she was successful  (god forbid) she's choosing on taking the easy way out - leaving me with all of our problems (physically and mentally). And by hurting herself - what stops her from calling 911 and claiming that I abused her?
 
spousal abuse claims are very serious. I could be charged with a felony and one thing I learned from my friends/family is that women are good liars. When I saw what my wife had done to herself, I'm sorry but I felt sick to my stomach.
 
as I said , we will get treatment and I'm sorry about your son , I hope he gets better but nobody should take the blame for someone else that takes their life. 
 
If if someone goes for treatment and they are not doing it for THEMSELVES, most of the time they will FAIL. 
 
Again , a big thank you to the VJ community. I will fight for my marriage. We will get help.

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

Oh yea.. sure. "Honey i saw your suicide note on your phone so let's bang and everything will be A-ok!"

Hello. Throwaway account for identity reasons. Me and my wife have been married alittle under 2 years now. Our marriage was great but the past few months have been daunting.  
 
I think I made a mistake by getting married , and I also did not pay attention to some red flags. I don't want to bash my wife on the internet but she can be very hysterical sometimes. I have never witnessed anyone in my life ever behave like her. 
 
Last week we got into an argument because I haven't had sex with her (my mind isn't into it). And I went to sleep on the couch, after work and school I came home and found that she was wearing a long sleeve shirt. I looked closely and saw bruise marks all over her arms, and she had them on her legs, too. I'm shocked and speechless, so much that I don't even know what to do.
 
last night she asked me why I was online on VK (vk is like a Russian Facebook). Again , I'm sleeping on the couch and while we bickered on our phones, I fell asleep. Apparently she took offense to that. As I'm leaving work, i see her sleeping at 8am. I come home and prepare for my night classes at 4pm and she's still in bed. I think to myself "ok she must be sore from the gym or maybe she had a headache". After I came home from school at 9pm, she's still in bed!
 
I convinced her to get up and we went to buy some food. We came home and I grabbed her phone that she left on the bed. I opened her vk (like Facebook) and found this message in her chat (she sent it to herself)
 
"For asdf
I hope you'll find this message. Send the part of it to girls and my mum. I recommend you to block my mum after because she's hysterical. 
I don't want to live. I feel like I'm stuck in prison and I don't know what did I do wrong in my life. 
I can't go back, I can't stay here. I just can't be happy. I tried but I just can't.
You already know everything, we talked a lot. You know how depressed I am, you know all the reasons. 
A part for my mom and friends: я не чувствую себя счастливой. Мне жаль. Не расстраивайтесь. Никто ни в чем не виноват, это все я и особенности моего характера. 
Goodbye and have a good and happy life."
 
what in the hell do i do? I'm scared and thinking of sending her back to her country, at least for a vacation.