Auds

Your K1 will be null and void once you have a ceremony in July - so perhaps just get married anywhere - withdraw K1 and file CR1 now.  At least that way she can work as soon as her visa comes and she lands.

Interviews can sometimes be very short and you don't get a chance to mention anything.

when she gets asked the question why would you like to visit the USA may be her only chance.

she has to start straight away with my finance is American settled in Vietnam and we will remain in Vietnam for the longest foreseeable future.  We have full wedding plans and payment...here in September 2018 - we wish to meet his family before...

her chances are very small unfortunately and interviews often don't give a chance beyond a question or two and you cannot request to talk..

make sure a tight short. It comprehensive answer is given in answer to why you would like to visit the USA.

1. Your wife knows your English is poor, why is she not writing here?

2. Please clarify again how many times she visited.  Who paid for these trips? 

3. Did you submit chats and photos from all these trips?

4. You also need to submit chats from her meeting your relatives so it's clear it's not a secret marriage

5. Is she Muslim?  Is she from your culture background?

6. How did you first meet?

7. Did you file papers in 2012/2013?

A Bonafide marriage does not happen with a piece of paper you signed on.

8 years!!

has she traveled to see you?

if not - just forget it - you have no proof of a bonafide marriage.

if you really wan to look after her which I don't think any of us believe - let her wrap up her life in the US and move to Nigeria - there are also other countries you can get a job in such as Dubai.

3 hours ago, Mocanca said:

Thank you - We are looking forward to our new addition  

Hello there - Mocanca, I am sending you a private message please read it.

Following - I have a long time left for this but interested as I travel internationally every month and can't afford to be grounded when it comes to that time.

Sorry that some posters have confused you.

Nothing illegal -  PM me I can find a good hospital in Florida for you.  The weather here will be easy too.

And if this is for your child then your husband can petition for his step child which will be quicker .

Have you tried to get her treated??  Admitted to psych ward?  She is your wife... maybe citizenship worries later.

If you are his wife trying to dob him in for working illegally - all I can say is if you remained married over 10 years and somehow avoided processing his paperwork there's an issue more with you than the man.  either the wife should have left him or helped with processing papers.  Not simply had 3 kids and leave him in limbo with threats.  his life is obviously messed up as he can't live in Italy or the US easily now.  If you are the wife - note he likely does have his papers sorted and is not informing you.  Its unlikely ESTA has been allowing him to visit over so many years without questioning it. 

Again I wish to mention - you DO NOT need parental consent.  Your mother can fully disapprove, as long as she is aware.  Make sure you don't prep her too much!  For example if she says things like he only married the girl for US residency and stuff like that it could be a problem possibly.  So manage her well if you do get married or file for K1 eventually, you could use reverse psychology and say something like "please tell them you approve" - so the worst she will do is say she doesn't approve.  Don't even hint what could be a problem as she may then say that on purpose.

As for your mum, she is not wrong to be disappointed they probably spent a lot on your education, getting you into medical college.  You fooled around and messed it up.  She does think her son only thinks of girls and having fun etc...  Win her trust slowly and steadily, do the right things careerwise and do firmly explain that its your life and some decisions you only seek her 'blessings' and not approval.

5 minutes ago, Daisy.Chain said:

23 and 25 are not too young to get legally married in any country in the world. Apart from legal restrictions, each pair is different. One couple might be ready at 21, another not ready at 35. Only the couple can decide.

Yes agreed completely, by 23 I had worked my way up to a management position and was traveling halfway around the world for work.

Having said that - they have never met and at 18, 28 or 48 the fact doesn't change that it is different in person.  I understand many arranged marriages happen where couples have never or barely met, but its usually within similar cultures, background etc.  The OPs situation requires him to take it slow.

You seem pretty hung up that your visa will not be approved if you marry without mummy's consent.  This is not true - don't go by hearsay.

People like to find someone to blame and then blame it on family who disapproved.  The reasons are usually different.

You will have a better chance with CR-1.

Listen to us who are more experienced at life, DO NOT marry on first visit.  One to keep your CR-1 application stronger and other because just BECAUSE (time will explain to you the complexities of relationships). 

The least you can do is have her come over on a very long holiday (is possible) and consider marriage after you have spent some time together (this doesn't make it much better - but better than marrying in two weeks!)

As for your mum, you need to draw boundaries and learn to stand up for yourself and your woman.  I hope you did that the last time your mother yelled at your gf.  Do not marry till you are grown up enough to stand up for your woman.  This can be tough with Indian families but you got to do it right.

If your CR-1 is eventually rejected it will not be because of parental approval!  Ensure you two really want to marry, AFTER you have lived under one roof.  Life is extremely complex, you will have home sickness, feel left out, feel you have no support and much more once you are in the US.  These things bring extreme pressures on relationships.  

Please answer to yourself 

- in that country is the church ceremony binding?

if yes do not attempt to continue K1, this can catch up even years later.

you are right that if you are not a red flag case/ country they won't be actively looking to see if you did indeed have a ceremony - but these things can come up.  Say she is from the Philippines and needs a CENOMAR ( new one).  Say somehow the question gets asked and she lies as the plan is to not talk about the ceremony then we get into dangerous grounds of being banned.

say this day she considers her wedding day and AOS time it's mentioned or ...  don't risk it.. easy to slip under the radar but the risk is too high.

Just wedding pics, a timeline of our love story with pictures and that is it ( in the 1.5 yrs we had flown about 9 times  Halfway across the world)..  didn't send boarding passes or anything else either.  Timeline included family meeting, meeting his kids, my kids etc..

Never got an RFE.

As long as you guys can pay for it, she can perhaps come deliver in the US and return.  That way baby has got US passport for whenever mum moves and if needed to leave baby back with your wife.

  What category did she apply under?

If she's at NVC stage why would you mess it up. Submit her documents. She can go back, do the interview probably just in time around her return and return on her green card.  Am I missing something?

I have been there in diff circumstances maybe but I know what you are saying - hats off to not sending him money - I did that sort of thing too.

you can't make him into what he is not.  (This is a msg to OP only).  You are intelligent enough to see religion for what it is like most people with high IQ.  Unfortunately we do have our need of companionship which again is a reality and how human make up is.  Not this one though it won't last.  Let it go.

7 hours ago, toastycola said:

Brazil, and the gap is 6 years.

 

 

24, and I earn plenty.

Oh then you have known each other for very long - should not be a problem at all.  Plenty   as long as you earn enough to meet the guidelines.

Just to fully put you at ease.  I have my maiden name on one child's passport, my married name on other (as my name was changed officially only after the first one's passport was issued).  We had not problems whatsoever - all our papers were done rather recently.  

Typically 6 to 8 months at Nebraska.  Mine was about 6 months.

How old are you now? And do you earn enough or have a sponsor?

You need to mention it for sure sure. You can put it as rejected and explain at interview.

8 hours ago, deaklay1206 said:

@Auds We waited for awhile because of financial reasons at that time. There was no legal reasons. I entered the US legally and worked legally. 

 

Thanks for the answers everyone. This really helps. 

So you are ready to apply now

You can apply 5 years after getting your green card.  Check all residency requirements in terms of number of days younshould have spent after residency or others may update you on that.

At this stage it's little to do with your divorce timeline.

I am not sure why it took 5 years of marriage to get green card...  asking in case there are legal bearings to get your citizenship.