toxicatta

Hi!

I am trying to update my timeline as my ROC case is moving forward. I filed the petition on 04/20 and received NOA on 06/01. But when I try to put in those dates and submit changes the site takes me to an error page and says the dates are incorrect, as the time between filing and NOA couldn't be more than 4 weeks. But there is no mistake, it actually did take VSC well over a month to open my case, cash my check and send me the NOA. I am trying to put the correct dates in my timeline because I want to keep track of all my cases. For now I had to put the NOA date as 05/01 and type the correct date in the little comment window. But is there a way to fix it and make the correct date to show in my timeline?

Thanks!

Before I get attacked please know that I am a dog and cat lover. I guess if I were in the same situation I would choose my spouse. Humans to me always take precedence over animals. (Well there are exceptions I suppose) Did you not discuss this with your husband before you were married? Could the reason be because of the cost of bringing two dogs to the US? I imagine it would be in the hundreds of dollars? My vote is for you to take the human. But in any event I wish you well. Good luck and GOD Bless.

Melekalimaka, (Merry Christmas)

Aloha, David

It shouldn't be like this though. Animals are not toys that you can throw away when they become inconvenient and expensive. And if humans are more important than animals, then they are certainly more important than money or dog-free houses. Which means the husband also needs to make a choice.

Besides... I know it's wrong to judge without knowing both sides of the story, but it does seem unfair. When someone is already about to give up their home and old life it is unkind to also ask them to give up their pets.

Perhaps a compromise is possible? Maybe you could build a climate controlled dog house outside in the yard?

This is the 3rd I want to go home home thread I read just this evening.

I was also an immigrant and frankly can not relate to any of it.

Marriage is about commitment not feelings. It is about making a life together.

If cars, jobs, friends and family mean more to you than your husband then do him a favor and move back

and divorce so he can find happiness with someone who makes him a first priority.

It is normal to 'feel' homesick to some degree but this is about being an adult and not summer camp.

I just don't get it.

Well, I do get it. Personally, I think friendship, relationship with one's family and confidence in one's career are just as important as marriage. I don't think it's healthy to completely dedicate yourself to just one person and suppress your feelings about everything else you love. It's perfectly normal to miss your friends and family as well as your favourite job. If you miss all that so much that you become unhappy your marriage may suffer. Happiness cannot grow on just "commitment" alone, feelings matter. If spouses should sacrifice things for each other then maybe in this case OP's husband should be the one sacrificing his life here and move to Indonesia with her? Honestly, you make it sound like her husband is the only one who deserves happiness here...

To OP:

Yes, these feelings are very normal and very common. A lot of immigrants have them at first. But it's totally in your power to build a new life here that might be just as good as your old one. It really is. Sure, it's just not easy to start from scratch, but you are not alone.

You just have to decide what's best for both of you. It's okay to try and fail. It's okay to change your mind, too. But it's not okay to make rash decisions.

Good luck!

Hi everyone,

We just received our AOS interview letter and we're a little concerned.

I had my biometrics last week and the interview is dated for 27 May (a lot sooner than I expected)! So we have two problems,

1. My USC wife sent her passport off just last week to get the name updated, current processing times for the passport are about 6 weeks so we're not expecting that back before the interview. This is a problem because;

a) the invite letter asked us to bring originals of all evidence submitted in the AOS pack (in which we included a copy of her passport), and

b) the invite letter asks for the USC birth certificate AND proof of USC status (so is the birth certificate not enough?), and

c) stamps in her passport (including a denial stamp from the UK) are missing vital evidence to support our commitment to the relationship.

2. We lack a lot of the evidence requested for proving a bona fide relationship, such as;

• we live in her parents house - so no rental agreements or mortgages, and
• her parents (very generously) pay all the bills - so no bills in our name, and
• I haven't got my EAD yet - so I can't get a DL, and therefore can't get on her car insurance, and
• we can't get a joint account, and
• only my parents and her parents attended the court wedding & we did not exchange rings (we are planning to have a more substantial 'wedding' when we can afford it with both sides of the family, in which we will exchange rings), and
• zero birthday, Christmas, valentines day cards (we're both kind of logical anti-tat types, two Spocks... it works).

The evidence we do have is as follows;

• three years of Skype chats, and
• 10 or so months (accross three years) of pictures from living here & in England and touring the USA and Europe, and
• plane tickets that evidence her 2 trips to the UK and my 4 trips here, and
• about $5K ish of spending money transferred into her account from me via TransferWise over the years,
• a bag of random receipts from across the ages, and
• we know each other very well and we're good on our dates.

Evidence the IO could cite against us:

• why have neither you, nor your spouse mentioned your wedding on Facebook? (because her grandma is a traditional type, and in the words of my SO's mother, "it would kill her if she found out she wasn't invited", everyone else on both sides knows about it)
• why wasn't she invited? why wasn't anyone except parents invited? (because me and my wife want to be together now not wait until we can afford to blow $10k+ on a single day - therefore we had a court wedding in which no one else got to attend, only the parents, no exceptions to avoid fighting / resentment later).

Needless to say we are and have always been very much in love, the relationship is genuine and we'd do anything for one another. Living together is non-negotiable, we'll do it at any cost, but we're 27 & 25 so saving money on things like renting, bills and weddings is not something we can afford to turn down.

Are we in trouble?

Aww guys! My husband and I are so much like you!

I'm not sure about your wife's passport (you can just show the copy and explain about the original being updated?), but your evidence should be okay, I think. I mean, you haven't had much time to accumulate a lot of joint stuff, right? When did you get married?

I have my AOS interview very soon too. We also don't have as much evidence as a lot of other couples do. No joint leases or rents or bills... But we are fairly confident. If you want, I could message you here after my interview and tell you how it went. It's only in a few days.

My wife & I had our USCIS interview on Feb. 29,2016 in Chicago. The interview went well, but we were told that the State Dept. failed to forward much of the information needed to make a decision for AOS. Fortunately we had copies of most everything except a local police report, two passport photos of myself (U.S. citizen sponsor/husband), and a new physical. We were given an RFE for those items and provided them to USCIS within two weeks. We have a copy of everything along with a receipt from the post office showing that the package was received. When we check our case status it still is showing that the RFE was sent on the interview date. Has anyone else had this experience? I thought they'd at least show that they'd received the package from us. We called the helpline once and were told we need to wait 60 days from the date USCIS received our evidence to get anymore information. It's very frustrating when we've done everything we've been asked to do with so little feedback. Thanks everyone for putting up with my rant.

I've actually read quite a few stories like that, where online status doesn't change and the petitioner has no way of knowing whether USCIS received their package or not. Usually people are advised to wait a little longer and then call again.

Besides, OP is correct, there are a lot of flaws in American political system and a lot of truly horrible pages in American history. Just because there are countries where things are worse doesn't mean you must be blind to the flaws in your country. That would be stupid, now wouldn't it? Oh wait, you probably think only US citizens who were born and raised here are allowed to see those flaws and point them out, everyone else must keep their mouths shut. Especially if they came to live here. Especially if they come from countries where things are worse. They all must drop to their knees and kiss American soil and refuse to see even the obvious imperfections. Right?

Everyone understands that OP is adjusting status, perhaps you are missing the point about ROC.

If I had a penny for every time someone says don't worry you will be fine ... and then they weren't !

Your case is different. Having said that, a good explanation to the IO of why you conduct your financial transactions the way

you do can be helpful when not having a joint account. Sometimes it is accepted and sometimes it's not. Since we don't

have a crystal ball to see the future it's best to submit it and not be lackadaisical about it.

Well, personally I would try to avoid even the smallest chance of getting an RFE. I have read the interview reports from people who got RFEs because they had one tiny piece of paper missing or because USCIS wanted one other piece of evidence of bona fide relationship. But I have read many, many more reports from people who brought an effing TON of papers to the interview, and the USCIS person didn't even look at them and just asked a few standard questions and approved the GC. So you are right, we don't have a crystal ball and can't see the future. We can only rely on official instructions and other people's experiences. ALL experiences, not just the bad ones.

OP is adjusting status, not applying for ROC. I agree that a joint account will be important in the future, but toxicatta, I wouldn't worry about it for now. Our interview is coming up in a few weeks and we are choosing not to have a joint account before the interview? Why?--because my parents are on my checking account at BofA now, and in order for me to add my husband onto the account, everyone has to be present. My parents live in a completely different state and we won't be able to see them before the interview. I don't want to open up a new account with BofA because I would lose the long relationship I have with the bank by starting fresh. The adjudicator should understand our reasoning, as they should understand why you don't need a joint account now. Don't worry--take as much evidence as you can and you'll be fine. The difference here is that both you and your husband will be present at the interview in front of the adjudicator, so it won't be some anonymous person analyzing evidence behind a desk.

OP, good luck on your journey!

Thank you! Yes, of course, at the actual interview the person will see both of us and we'll be able to answer any questions. And that's why my husband is so relaxed about this - his communication skills are great. But apparently a few people did have bad experiences with AOS because of some inconsequential little details.Which is a shame...

Thanks again, and the best of luck to you too!

Yes, it means your EAD has been approved. It is a card and it has been mailed to you.

RFE's seem to always come back to joint bank statements from inception of marriage to show financial co mingling as an important part of evidence.

Though some couples have other overwhelming evidence of financial co mingling, some did show just as much and were still asked for the dang bank

statements, the gamble is up to you.

Here are some threads with RFE's but there are many, some AOS, most ROC.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/566794-rfe-on-i-751/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/572987-rfe-after-marriage-interview/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/440716-rfe-re-good-faith-marriage-what-to-do-if-limited-evidence-of-financial-co-mingling/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/416328-rfe-bank-statements/

Thank you for the links! I've researched this a fair bit myself, too... It seems you are right about ROC, but it should be easier with AOS. Still, I guess, better safe than sorry.

They understand you do not have a lot of evidence for AOS. Provide what you have.

As for ROC later, other than filing taxes jointly, there is not really one type of evidence that you must provide. Other couples have chosen not to have joint bank accounts and still been approved for ROC. You just need to make sure to have, and provide plenty of other types of evidence that shows your co-mingling of finances and co-habitation. And showing that he puts part of his income in your account each month, will also work as evidence. Even better if you can show that you both help the bills out of each of your accounts.

That's what I thought. If they needed one specific type of evidence they would mention it in some instruction, right?

It is what it is and we all have to jump through burning hoops to get to the end goal.

You can certainly not do it and deal with the consequences later or fall in line like the rest of us and do what you have to do.

Take a look around all the RFE's that have been issued lately, subscribe to the ROC forum to read the threads for yourself.

People have submitted everything but the kitchen sink for ROC and they still want more, mainly what has been stated over and over again

the RFE's are for joint bank accounts from the beginning of marriage and bank statements showing that co financing activity.

By all means research it yourself and don't take my word for it. I am only trying to help you.

You can gamble with AOS if you want to but you should get ready for ROC now not one months before filing.

USCIS doesn't care what your husband thinks.

No, I totally understand all that. And again, I truly appreciate your advice and I am going to take it, even though I find these rules ridiculous. Like you said, it is what it is. They have a standard of a bona fide marriage and we will have to match it. Got it.

Thank you very much for your help!

If there is no way to retrieve her vaccination records, I'm pretty sure she can receive all the required shots during the medical exam.

I am a stay-at-home mom myself, I don't work outside the home. The point of co-mingling is that I do have acces to "his" money (that we both regard as ours, not his). USCIS does not care about different family circumstances. At ROC most of the time there is no interview so somebody sitting at a desk thousand of miles away from you has to determine if your marriage is real or is just an arrangement to get a GC. I understand that you are genuine, but how are they supposed to determine that without knowing you personally? They can only do that by looking at documents you send them. The thinking is this: IF somebody just enters a marriage for the purpose of getting a GC/helping their spouse get a GC they probably don't trust the other party enough to give them access to all or most of their money.

Sure, American couples are not made by the government to share their finances if they want to keep them separate but they are also not asking the government for the right to live here. They already have that right.

Ah, okay, I get it. If there is no interview it makes more sense. And yes, in our marriage his money is also ours, he just puts money on my card and I do with it whatever I want. Or I tell them what we need for the house/I need for myself and he buys that. Of course, if we had a big household with children and lots of expenses we would probably need a joint account. But we don't, and as I said, we've only been married for 10 months. I'm still kind of settling down here... That's why I thought gift receipts and money transactions would also count as evidence, but someone said they are no good.

Sorry but financial co mingling as in joint bank account IS important and they want it for ROC from the beginning of marriage so why not

open one now just in time for AOS, how long is he going to wait ?

Go to the bank and open it, takes less than an hour.

He should do some reading here.

You may or may not get by with it for an AOS interview but you do need to think ahead of the next step after that .....ROC.

I don't know why people don't look at the next steps that are still ahead.

Perhaps he finds it less hassle to receive RFE's ?

So every American married couple is expected to have a joint bank account? Is there a law that says that? People absolutely can't have a good solid relationship if they use separate credit cards? How can a joint health insurance, 401k and joint tax return not be enough? Don't get me wrong, I am not stubborn, if that's what they want to see I will do it. But this idea, that if you don't have a joint bank account with your spouse it means your marriage is not real, is just ridiculous. I thought USCIS needs any legal proof of bona fide relationship, not specifically this one thing? And if it is specifically a joint account they want, it sounds like they are telling us how to live our lives, how to manage our money and how to be a married couple. That's what my husband doesn't like, and I can't help but agree with him. He has been a USC since birth, and in all these years the American government has never told him how to live his life (other than to obey the law) and what to do with his money (other than to pay the taxes). Thing is, we would never even think about joint accounts if it wasn't for USCIS. And if we do open one I doubt we are going to use it a lot, definitely not in these two weeks. There are no mutual payments that we need to make for any property, so there is literally no need for a joint account other than show it to USCIS. Perhaps when the time comes for ROC things will be different. Perhaps I will finally have a job by that time and we will be making mutual payments for some piece of property. But right now it's not the case.

I'm sorry, Ebunoluwa, I'm not asking you all these questions. I really, really appreciate your response, I did show it to my husband, as well as all the other information about this I could find. And it's not even a big deal, I don't mean to be dramatic. I'm just a little frustrated because I am torn between my husband's (completely justified) stubbornness and my lack of desire to get an RFE ><

They don't expect newlyweds to have a ton of joint stuff yet. You'll be fine.

That's exactly what we thought. But then I read a lot of stuff on VJ and got worried, because other people do seem to have a lot of joint stuff from the very beginning...

Harpa Timsa is right. For AOS, you'll be fine BUT you have to do ROC in two years and you'll definitely need more stuff for that STARTING at the beginning of the marriage. At the very least you should open a joint bank account now so you have two years' worth of account statements at ROC time.

Yes, I understand. But a) we've been married for less than a year; b) I don't have a job and income and c) I don't have ANY of my own finances or assets to mingle with his. For now, all the money I have is what he is giving me. I hope this will change soon, but right now there is no "family budget", there is just his money that he spends on both of us. I already see that it's my mistake, I should have found a job months ago. And I'm pretty sure things will be different before the time comes for ROC. I AM trying to think a few steps ahead...

Oh, yes, husband told me today that I am on his 401k. I didn't even know

So, we have marriage certificate, 401k, joint health insurance, joint tax return, and I'm going to get a state ID with our address on it. Plus a lot of secondary evidence. This should be enough for AOS, right? Husband is still "not really worried" and doesn't want to open a joint bank account because "too much hassle". I hope he is right in his confidence, but if we get RFE I will be very cross.

Thank you all very much for your advice and help!

Your husband is going to be in for a surprise, and possible an RFE; USCIS isn't interested in the depth of your love, and you have to show that you live together. It's not 'obvious' until you show them with paper. They're not going to camp out at your street to see if you go into the same house night after night

Bills, financial statements, holiday cards sent to you both at the same address, this is the kind of tangible evidence they want.

I suppose we were a little too relaxed about this because of how easily my K-1 was approved... Up until they scheduled my AOS interview I never even thought we would have to do all kinds of additional paperwork and "financial mingling" just to prove to USCIS that we have a bona fide marriage. And it's not like I have any finances to mingle with anyway, I don't have any income yet. We should have thought about this earlier...

You can get forms for Living Wills and/or Medical Power of Attorney online, print them out, fill them out, and go to a county clerk and have them notarized.

You can apply for a joint credit card.

You can create a joint bank account.

You can get a drivers license, and show that both his and yours have the same address.

You can get put on his electric/gas utility account.

These are just some of the things you can do.

Gift receipts and plans for trips you're going to take in the future aren't going to be useful. Health insurance proof and taxes are good.

USCIS is interested in financial co-mingling as "evidence of bonifide relationship." You may not feel it necessary to have a joint account at a bank, but for providing proof, it's important.

Yes, I thought we should do some or all of these things. But my husband is certain we will be fine without it. He just can't imagine we can get RFE or denial, because we are obviously living together and we are obviously so much in love. But I spend much more time on VJ than he does, and from what people say, it seems that USCIS is more interested in financial evidence than any proof that we love each other...

But won't it look suspicious if we do all that in the last two weeks before the interview?

Also, I would really like to show at USCIS that we have the same address, but I can't get a driver's license because I don't drive. Is there any other way to prove we have the same address?

Dear, VJ,

I came to the US on a K-1 visa and have lived here for a year. I am having my AOS interview in two weeks. My marriage is genuine and full of love, and I have evidence for that: wedding pictures, photos together and with husband's family, plane tickets for a vacation trip we are making together soon, emails and tons of receipts for gifts, etc. I am also on his health insurance plan, and he filed his tax return jointly with me. And I am just wondering if we have enough evidence. We never bought any property together, we don't have a life insurance, there are no joint leases, he is paying all the bills alone... We don't even have a joint bank account because at the moment there is no need for that. We don't have children either. And our wedding was very small and quiet, with no flowers or white dress, we didn't even buy expensive rings, because we both had rings given to us by our families (family heirlooms). So... do you guys think we have enough evidence?

Also, I didn't change my name to his. Can it raise suspicion?

And, I'm not sure about other types of visas, but for K-1 visa you don't need a police clearance or medical exam before the interview. Yes, the final decision is made after the interview and yes, you need to bring your clearance and medical there, but at least you don't have to send them with your initial petition. I think it's reasonable enough?

I think America is surprisingly generous and helpful when it comes to immigration. I mean, yes, it takes a lot of time and money and sweat and tears, it can be very stressful and humiliating at times... But when you think about the tremendous numbers of people trying to get in by all possible and impossible ways, it all starts to make sense. It seems to me that America is trying to be as generous and open as possible without being careless.

That said, I do agree that getting a tourist visa can be unreasonably hard. Maybe it is easier for Europeans, but in Russia I know people with jobs, property and families who got denied a tourist visa to the US. I mean, if a job or family is not enough to show your ties to your country, what is?

Thank you! Yes, there should be enough time because I am only going for 10 days. Still, it was a little nerve-racking to see this update after six months of silence just when I bought the tickets to Russia

Thank you! That's a relief.

Hello, VJ,

I am having a minor panic attack here and will be extremely grateful for any information.

I entered the US almost a year ago on K-1 visa and got married (husband is a USC). I sent my petition for the Green Card eight months ago. Six months ago I received my EAD + Advance Parole combo card, which I haven't used yet and which expires in September. Since then I haven't received any news on my GC case, and whenever I checked it on the USCIS site I would see the "Fingerprint Fee Was Received" status. So... I haven't seen my parents for almost a year, so I decided to use my AP and go back to Russia for ten days to visit friends and family. I know that while my GC is pending I can travel home and then be allowed to re-enter the US (if I have an AP). I already bought the tickets, planning to leave in a week from now and return after ten days. I already told my parents I am coming, told them my flight number and all that. Made plans. But today I checked my GC case status on the USCIS website and saw that it changed to "Case Is Ready To Be Scheduled For An Interview". They haven't actually scheduled the interview yet, and I know that it can be months before they do schedule it.

So, my question is: can I still go? Is my case still pending? Does it have the same status it did before it became ready for an interview? Is my AP still a legitimate travel document? If I leave the country now, before the interview, won't the case be considered abandoned? Will I still be eligible for re-entry? Am I being paranoid?

Thank you, VJ!