Natsukiii

Sorry that you learned of your husband's true colors late. Be thankful that it isn't too late and that you are alive, well and are able to move on from this. I don't think situations like these are specific to Nigerian men. There are violent and malevolent people out there no matter where they come from. Immigration issues force some of us to hurry and take leaps before truly getting to know the people we're committing with and most do end up with buyer's remorse. It doesn't always turn out like that though. There are quite a lot of us that also end up with happy endings. You just can't know and that is always the risk with life amongst all things.

I agree.
Something fishy here. Like rotten trout.

Not true. The marriage certificate makes you married anywhere on earth. If he married after marrying you and not divorcing first he is a bigamist and in the US thats a crime.
He is not considered single in the US if he marries else where. Again married is married.

A lot of relationship theory being tossed around here ... Unless there is information in other threads, we don't know much about the OP's situation and he hasn't been writing volumes, so perhaps we should all take a break from posting ...
People don't have 6-month affairs for no reason. Whatever the outcome, it's good to find out why (if she is willing to be open about it), and from there you can see what your options are. Nobody knows at this point that "she's a lost cause". Saying that "she's just a " is a very easy way out, and won't help the OP get his emotional affairs in order. Nobody is "just" something. And to all those "I'd never cheat"-people: again, statistics say > 50% of you ... Unless we are really in very exclusive company here on visajourney ... Very important question that hasn't been asked : does she still love you? Perhaps she will have an answer when she returns from her week of taking space ... Which was probably a very good idea of hers ...
Trying to understand the other party is important ... The girl does look young; maybe she rushed into something, maybe things turned out differently than she expected, maybe living abroad was overwhelming ... I have no idea, but I'd encourage people to hold her with some empathy as well, even while giving the OP support. As an older person loving a younger and less experienced person, there may be some room for understanding mistakes or learning that you experienced 15 years ago ...
I'm not asking these questions to figure out what to make the lawyer say, but to encourage connection that will ultimately lead to healing (either alone or together).
I have enough experience with messy relationships to understand that things really aren't as simple as some here are stating.
In service (I hope),
Kevin

Sorry to hear of your difficulty and I feel your pain. This may be the time for you to face up to some facts of reality.
First, you state she is confrontational. That says alot about her dispositon and lack of respect
for marriage and commitment to your family. Secondly, she stated she needed "space". Stop right there.
If a spouse has love and commitment for his or her spouse there is nothing to think about.
I could accept a position that "I made a mistake and I want to fix it for the good of our relationship and family",
but space and time to think about your love and commitment...I don't think so!
Do some soul searching but don't be blinded by your love for her. Do what is best for you and your child
in any case. I "truly" hope your marriage works out but sounds like it will be an uphill battle for life long fidelity.

do what u want to do regardless of what ur husband thinks.

Well, since you have the good sense....good luck!

No offense to all Philippines people but USCIS should be really careful with Philippines ladies that US citizens bring to the US and they fall in a scam. This isnt the first incident I read in here nor the 10th!! Please before falling in the "exotic" " not your typical american" type of girl straight away, make sure she is the RIGHT WOMAN. If you be careful, you will save yourself tons of money and headache. Philippines is a poor country and high fraud so OPEN your eyes. This is a message for everyone and not just the OP. NO OFFENSE to any other people from the Philippines who came here with good intentions but we cannot just NOT talk about this. It became a new fashion and its very disturbing. I think rising awareness should be no offense to anyone.
Some tips :
- Meet your Girlfriend more than 2 times before filing K1. Live with her and tell her you want to settle in her country and see what she says.
- If she asks for a lot of money for her mom, brother and sick friend then open your eyes and see where your money is going (probably to her boyfriend)
- Meet all her family and always be aware of how they act.
- If she is in a hurry to move to the USA then that might be a red flag.
- This is probably wrong but dont give full trust straight away and always make sure you know who she talks with when you are away at work ( she might talk with the other guy she originally came for)
- Scams happen all the time but rarely you find a smart scammer ( meaning that you are just NAIVE not to notice that).
if anyone has other tips then write them down. this is a serious problem and I hope the OP will find a solution for this.

I am not saying this the case here, but people should watch for RED FLAGS, I am sorry but this bs of women in hers 20/25 with man 50/55 for me is a RED RED RED flag, with a few exceptions,man sending money to the woman as soon they start dating,one,two visits and get married, dating 2/5months and proposal etc..the list is huge , people need just to pay attention to these signs.

Your absolutely right, she does not have to go back to the Philippines to escape abuse.
But as usual we are only hearing one side of the story. It is not uncommon for immigrants from high fraud countries to cry abuse after green-card is in hand. A distasteful but true fact.
If this woman and her children are truly being abused then yes she should leave asap, get all the legal, moral and physiological help possible for her and her children. We assume the only reason she came to the US was to be with her USC spouse and a better life for her and her offspring. That life obviously didn't happen, so we suggested that they return to the Philippines. A place far away from the abuse, back with her family for support. I cannot imagine how i would cope in a foreign country with kids and being abused by the one who was meant to love and support me.

Please prioritise your kids' safety over their immigration status.

I would rather give solid information to someone with impure intentions than turn away someone who needs help, personally. Don't want to push a truly hurting person back into the arms of their abuser and make them think the real world out there is against them. You can never be sure who is who.

He changed his mind,and you want to meet his Family? not to be rude but sounds bit strange :S

It is speaking of living in the US for the foreseeable future which her spouse has stated to her he plans on moving to the Philippines. Which is why this entire topic is confusing because if he wants to live in the Philippines, as she has said he has stated he wants to, and he has purchased property there to live in then why did he file for her to come here?

Perhaps I misread her comment that she "has friends there she can stay with" or her statement that "he has a condo unit there that will be finished this year" referring to in the Philippines and that he would rather live in the Philippines than the US. And that he is working a lot to save money to buy more property in the Philippines.
Again she will do what she wishes but she needs to be aware that living in the US is expensive and for someone with no job, no healthcare, possibly no home (since she says the husband doesn't want her to move to the US), and no transportation it will be a hard row to hoe. And the big one: if she comes with her son and decides to return home it might be without said son.

Maybe, but I take note of her comments, "USA will always take care of us," "free autism school in the US, right?" and "I can live with my family instead."
Personally I see a lot of "spin" in this thread. But, we have no control over what happens, so meh.

I am not trying to be judgmental but i have to agree with this poster. To me, personally, it seems the OP is way more over focused on going to the US then actually her whole marriage and family unity. The fact that her baby has autism does not fly in my world. Finances are insanely expensive in the US first of all, let alone a kid who has autism...and top of that, how can the OP expect the kid to function well and accept well his dad later on, and maybe even his relatives if he'll be all isolated off just because his mommy wanted to move to the US at all cost? I am sorry if I sound harsh, but the OP needs to accept that her husbands wants to stay in the Philippines and might as well have a great family there. Just sounds odd how the OP is like "I have my own money, and friends in the US" sort of like "hell with him! I want to go so bad, and he wants to stay behind screw that, I'm ready to leave". These kind of statements make it all sound visa fraud all over it, forward and backwards. If this is not the case, I truly apologize, but somehow the stories and short reasonings that came up from the OP doesn't seem to indicate she is too inclined to a family unity, but more of focusing busily on how she can make it to the US with her kid. Again, I APOLOGIZE if this is not the case! But that just how it sounds (to me).
Wish you all the best, whatever you decide to do...

Come if you must since you can legally, however, make sure you are prepared to face all the consequences like what if it doesn't work out with your husband after all or the possibility that you might not be able to take your son back to PI should you decide to go back because without the father's consent, the child may not travel with you alone. Are you willing to take that risk?

there is no free stuff in US.
And with you and your son coming over to US, it could be an extra expenses for your husband, since you probably will be taking care of your autistic son full-time. Child care, medical plans for you and son don't come cheap either.

And, in a nutshell, this is EXACTLY why I have a problem with this situation.
After all, wasn't the entire purpose to be WITH her husband? It'd be one thing if the marriage was failing while she was here, living with him, etc. It'd be sad but, such is life I suppose. Seems the focus has shifted FAR LEFT from anything to do with the marriage,( IE: Do what you have to do) rather, it's now on just securing her "NEW HOME IN THE U.S." In any way possible. Super. And thanks, cases with intentions like this are the reason it takes so flipping long for so many others to even GET their approval. Wow... at a loss. So are my coworkers who've been following this with me.

Very interesting... Hmmmmm. Thx for posting this. Shed's a whole new light on things to say the least.
Sorry, gotta be honest, something isn't adding up with this whole story (er, rather, stories) Honestly, if your husband is not wanting you to come here, I don't care what the reason is, why in the world would you come or try and figure out a way to come on your own in the manner that you are?! I would be absolutely devastated that he didn't want me to come and by far the very last thing on my mind would be who else I could move in with in his country once visa is in my hand. It'd be one thing if you said that you were wanting to still tell him you were coming and would be at his front door to figure things out, but that is by far NOT what you are saying. In fact, it's the opposite. The whole purpose of getting the visa is to BE TOGETHER, not taking your own money and moving in with friends/family that you conveniently have already (seemingly) plotted with. Wrong. Wrong on soooooooo many levels and devious. Apparently he has a very valid point when he states, according to your previous post, that "he couldn't trust you anymore."
I am usually a very positive person and poster when it comes to this entire process. But this thread seems to shed light on the ugly underbelly of immigration and those with ulterior motives. Sad. I hope things work out for you both. By the sounds of it he would rather move to your home. Why not try that route first? Have you told him you'd like him to move to you for a while instead to repair your relationship first? Seriously.... you seem way too focused on "Getting to the US" and not about your relationship. Unless I'm missing something here.... then please, let me know.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything and hoping that maybe since we are not seeing the whole picture, nor know all the facts, that things aren't really what they seem at the moment by reading your posts.... hoping.

Your visa is for you to immigrate as the spouse of a US citizen.
If the US citizen does not want you here, you have 0 (ZERO) reason to come.
It's really that simple.

Yes there is something wrong with that. The visa is for the purpose of a USC spouse coming to the US to live with and be a family member with a him. Hence it being a family immigration category. She could get in serious trouble and accused of visa fraud if she comes to the US on a spousal visa and doesn't live with the spouse or make an attempt with the marriage.

OP should sort things out with the hubby first. This is just IMO. Now, talk about if you can legally come and decide to sort things out with the hubby, sure. The reason why you've been issued the visa was that the US government believes your relationship is legitimate. But if your purpose is just to stay even without your husband's consent, then it contradicts the rationale of visa issuance which is "to unite families." I wish you well on trying to sort things out with your hubby but if that don't go well, then there's really no use staying in the states.

I understand. But this whole journey is suppose to be about being together. WHEREVER. What matter is it if he lives there. You are together.
I would say you so fixated on being in US maybe he is testing you. Maybe you were more focused on the destination instead of the journey. It should not matter whether it be the Moon Mars or US. If he wants to be with you in the Philippines what is wrong with that.