gizzyboo

Reread my post and i clearly ask for help and suggestions on talking to a tier 2 person . I am aware I have to renew thanks

My dear sister,
Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.
I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:
1. You found it early.
2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.
3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.
I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.
Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:
1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.
2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.
This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.
Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?
When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

My dear sister,
Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.
I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:
1. You found it early.
2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.
3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.
I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.
Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:
1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.
2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.
This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.
Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?
When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

Thank you for your advice and it will leave me no choice but to redo or recreate the log of 7 years of contact. For example, I had looked at one year's worth of MSN online chat between my fiance and me and honestly, we would be online at least 1-3 times a week, sometimes our conversations would last anywhere from at least 2 hours to the whole day..( I also kept logs on Skype & yahoo...but some of my older chats were on my other computer which has not been working) I was able to retrieve some old conversations & save them to my new computer. 2 hours to the whole day of chatting and multiply that with 7 years will equal to many pages more. I have already submitted a log of weekly & lengthly conversations up until I mailed the log, I 134, and my tax info. to my fiance Nov. 2013 (initial interview but had to cancel and reschedule)I have read other posts in which one person stated that s/he had submitted at least 2 conversations for each week during the course of his/her contact with tne fiance...and did not submit everything and was approved...and I've read also many posts where the consulate officer did not evern bother looking at the log of conversations people had with them...if the consulate officer did, the most s/he would do is skim through the pages. It would be time consuming looking & matching the dates for every contact made..I don't know but I guess that our consulate officer is stringent to details. I still do question the I 134 and my tax information because if this was overlooked then maybe the CO might have overlooked the conversations...how? I really don't know but hoping to get clarification. Amother reason why I think that information may have been overlooked because my fiance was asked about a question of sponsorship
...specifically during the interview, if I had sponsorsored someone before...now, why would she ask this if she did not have the I 134? Is this a standard question for everyone and not case by case? or could it be she did research on the case prior to the interview? I just want to give her the benefit of the doubt and I understand where she is coming from as an interviewer. Anyhow, I will try my best...no push to do my best to get this done because we (my fiance and I ) have made it this far.

My dear sister,
Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.
I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:
1. You found it early.
2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.
3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.
I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.
Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:
1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.
2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.
This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.
Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?
When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

My dear sister,
Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.
I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:
1. You found it early.
2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.
3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.
I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.
Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:
1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.
2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.
This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.
Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?
When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

This is the web site to schedule an interview appointment:
https://cgifederal.secure.force.com/?language=English&country=Algeria
Last time I checked, it was in Feb 2014 already but sometimes they have dates/slots opened up. As of now, it says:
First Available Appointment Is Wednesday December 4, 2013.

Hi Renee,
When did you receive the packet 3 (aka the simple email with 2 attachments, one for instructions including all the forms and documents your fiance will need and how to schedule an interview), the other one is the information of panel physicians for his medical. If you received this email recently, I am surprised that the attachment #1 didn't show that DS-156, DS_156K, DS-157, DS-230 part I are no longer needed especially considered your interview is AFTER Oct 7.
In the beginning of Oct, there is a change in K-1 process, please read these links:
http://travel.state.gov/visa/forms/forms_4401.html
http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/types/types_2994.html
Sounds like your fiance has done DS-160 online and that's how he scheduled his interview and as far as the DS forms go, that should be all you need. If you want, you can still prepare for the said DS forms above just to be safe. DS-160 is essentially a combination of all of them. Looks like this is an effort to simplified the K-1 process and streamline it to be more aligned to other NIV.
So now the next step is schedule a medical appt. and collect all the documents he would need (namely the birth cert, non-marriage cert, police (aka the court) record, military record if any. Along with I-134 and updated letters of intent (recommended) and whatever relationship evidence you want to throw in. PS. All docs in Arabic or French need to be translated into English by certified translator. And he will need 4 passport photos - 2 for the medical and 2 for the interview.
Basically the attachment #1 from your packet 3 email will tell you everything you need to do and include. And your fiance DO NEED to print this email out to take it to his medical. And you probably need your case # for the medical as well.
Our interview is on Nov 25 so GOOD LUCK to us!
If you meant you sent these along with your I-129F package, you might want to prepare another one for the interview because they ask for it. I am not sure if they would dig it out from your petition. Just a thought.

Anything can happen in 20 years - a lot of 'ordinary' marriages don't even make it that far. We could be dead by then! But in any case, yes, I HAVE thought about the future, and I HAVE imagined how it might be. I even went onto match.com and scanned through all the photos of men who are 17 years older than I am, and asked myself honestly if I would be disgusted because of their aged appearance, or if I would be ok. I found that I would be ok. They did not appear 'too old' to me, and if I loved one of them, even better.
So it's not impossible. It depends on the person. And anyway, I'm stocking up on my anti-wrinkle cream!!

Well yeah, I certainly agree with that, especially your last sentence. Which is why I always encourage people to take things slow and really get to know their partner. But I feel like sometimes there's an implication from the veterans that being in a MENA relationship is so inherently risky that there is nothing you can do to negate the risk. That the taking it slow, getting to know him, spending lots of time together, talking about expectations mean nothing because after all, MENA men are the best actors EVAH and can go on scamming for years and years without showing a single sign that he's anything but the world's most perfect partner. Or he'll become a completely different person once he gets over here/becomes a father/turns 40/whatever and he'll no longer bear any resemblance to the man you actually married.
I don't think that's what's happening in this thread, FTR. I've found this thread INCREDIBLY helpful, despite the random spurts of bickering. But if you're already proceeding with caution, keeping your eyes open, being smart about it...eventually you do have to let go of some of your fears and the words of the naysayers, or risk losing a good relationship.

I am so with you on this subject - just because someone got burned does not mean we are all naive desperate older women without common sense.
For me life is about taking chances and following my heart my gut instinct and I knew from day one this amazing man was everything I ever dreamed of
on so many levels and I was not going to let fear drive me away. All relationships go thru ups and downs trials and tribulations regardless of age and distance. I would much rather take my chance and pray for a wonderful outlook than walk away because of everyone elses fears and negative expierences.

Yes, Beauty for Ashes, but every story is a different story - and what happened to you, or someone else, is NOT a prediction for the future of other relationships. We can say the same things about women who let themselves go and become fat as we can about age. What will the husband do when the wife becomes fat? (insert emoticon with worried face and biting nails) And you will find so many fat women who will say that their husbands cheated on them with a better looking woman, and so forth.
People used to give these harsh warnings about inter-racial relationships, too. And for a time, people from the city and people from the country had the same warnings, as well. We can say the same about different religions.
In fact, if we give it enough thought - NO ONE should get married. It's too dangerous! We shouldn't even fall in love, because look at how many people end up with a broken heart.
We can't think that way - or we'll never be able to live our lives. We have to take a chance, sometimes. Be smart, of course, but there is no love that has ever, or could ever, exist...without the risk of getting hurt. It's impossible.
We can find ANY excuse under the sun to warn someone not to get married. The truth is, bad things happen to good people, and husbands lie, cheat, and leave their wives behind every single day - all around the world. If it's not one thing, it's another.
We can direct our lives according to statistics, or we can live our lives according to our unique experiences - and either way we choose is NO guarantee, anyway. We might end up with a broken heart and wiped out financially no matter HOW it starts out. These things happen, sometimes, and not a single one of us is excluded from the possibility.

Hi Purpled23,
I am 44 from Chicago and my Algerian sweetheart is 27. I just want to tell you to hang in there, and please IGNOR the negative comments on here about age. Yes, yes...we all know it 'looks weird' on paper. So what? That's just because society is not used to it as much as they are when they see it the other way around, with the man being the older one. There are so many other reasons besides age than can make or break a relationship. Only YOU know what you have, and what you feel. Your love is not a statistic to be analyzed. It's unique to you and your Algerian, and it's no one's place to try to judge or analyze it.
I just wanted to give you a big HUG and all my emotional support. I will be going to Algeria this December or January to meet the man who I've been talking to every night for the last 9 months, and if things go as expected, we will file for our K-1 soon afterward. So I am right there alongside you, trying to figure out all the 'how-tos.'
And yes, believe me, I had a lot of people trying to convince me, too, that he was a scammer - simply due to his age, location, and for the mere fact that he said he loved me. These well-intentioned people can sound so convincing and so scary about their supposed 'research' and horror stories - I even started to have doubts here and there, myself - because of their influence, not from anything that he said or did. But I put that to rest a long time ago, and now have no doubts at all. And I'm sorry I ever had them in the first place, because he has proved himself again and again to be someone I can rely on, and someone who is honest enough to give me a straight answer, if even it's not what I wanted to hear. He has not only become my love, but also my best friend.
Stay strong - be positive - and keep close to your friends here, who can guide you along the way.
Take Care,
Zoletta

That really was presumptuative on your part, without lacking any true facts. Hurtful and very misleading to any current or future petitioners. Not helpful in any way shape or form. Who are you of all or any people to say that there future husbands will leave them. They will not stay? Really? You must have a big set of kahonas. Are you carrying around your husbands too?? You should not come on here and tell ANY petitioner that they will be left in the wind later on. If you can not give anyone constructive helpful advice without trying to tear down or rip apart someones world DONT POST. These are peoples lives. Not a game you can play with.
For any petitioner FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS. There are age differences that work. As some people have said.. people are individuals and you cant lump them into one bucket. People are different and different things work. Don't define others peoples failures as yours. Start thinking of your lifevas a sucess and it will be. Shut the negativity out and follow your dreams and hearts and be happy. Allah gave you one life to live... don't be afraid to live it. Dont live with regrets or what could have been. Live every moment. <3. Ps... and love every minute you can <3

quote name='sandinista!' timestamp='1363155951' post='6043259']
Some things are definitely "more strict" in Jewish dietary law- in my Muslim household we love shrimp and tenderloin steak and sturgeon and I know plenty of Jewish people who won't touch those things,, but the ritual differences are what prevent us from eating kosher.

I agree....you said it better than I did, thanks! We also eat shellfish (LOVE crab), but I've also heard of some muslims who beleive shellfish are not halal (because shellfish are ocean bottom-feeders) and won't eat it, like Jewish people. I'm not sure where they got that from?