Maya&Matt

Where will you live? How will you make money? What will you do when you land in the US?
Better to work on your marital problems than hop on a plane to the US with a toddler and nowhere to go and no money to eat.

What? Say everything in English, but louder and slower.
Then complain that Johnny Foreigner can't be bothered to make an effort.

I wasn't suggesting your post in particular. I read the whole thread and everyone is telling the OP to "man up" and that this is "normal for older people." It's not normal for anyone of any age regardless. And why shame the guy? None of us knows the actual situation. We know what the OP has told us, but there's always more to the story.

Since when did punching anyone for any reason become acceptable? Since when is age an excuse? I'm sorry, but as a social worker who routinely travels from nursing home to nursing home, when ANY resident hits ANY other resident (regardless of age), we have to report it as abuse.
Do any of you know the circumstances about why this guy lives with his mom and the 78 year old? It's actually pretty common place in this economy for people in their twenties to live at home. And to belittle someone because their dreams of going to fashion school are essentially too girlie for you? It's just shameful.
This thread is seriously just sad. The poster, the responses, just sad.

A 23 year old immigrant who has been here for only one year is not fully integrated and it takes time to get on your feet.
If he would not live there the old grumpy guy would not have had help with the trees and everything else.
Here we go again with the mentality of how hard can an old man hit ! Ridiculous.
Other cultures have an extended family living together helping each other out. Stop being so dang closed minded saying he has no
business living with his mother and step dad, the old guy brought him over only a year ago so let him give enough time to get on his feet for Pete's sake and yes, he did explain why his Mom and siblings consider moving out. Read the posts again.
If the USC can't handle the stress of bringing the kids here he should not have petitioned them. Period.
He is off his a__ and is working and giving the old fart $500 monthly and you didn't read that either did you !
You are calling him a parasite.....for what ?! He is contributing by working at a job, giving $500 monthly and helping around the house.
No, he did not cause this problem, his step dad's terrible temper did.
Man, I can't believe these comments here.

Sorry about the 'grumpy old man'. He sounds like he is a real trip and it's ridiculous that people excuse his behavior because of his age.
He is definitely OLD ENOUGH to know better and not too old to not be able to change.
It takes time for you to integrate and get on your feet and live by yourself and doesn't happen in a year.
Pursue your dreams of what you want to do with film / fashion but remember they may not always pan out and so have a back up education and profession that pays the bills. You have been here since 2012 and it is perfectly ok to be living as a new immigrant of 23 years of age still with your Mom and step dad under those circumstances. If he bit off more than he can chew then it is his problem.
You are already working towards the goal of being on your own and contribute $500 so I see absolutely no problem with that.
Of course it hurts emotionally more than physically when you get punched and cussed out by your step dad.
Do not argue back and never ever hit him back but calmly tell him that this is not acceptable and for him not to step over the boundary again.
Inform him that you are planning to move out as soon as you can, calmly, not with an attitude.
I have no idea why people post nonsense here about this whole thing and finding fault with you or your story. Grump head is wrong. Period.
The old fart needs to chill out before he loses your mother and dies a lonely old man.
I think it is great that you offered your help with the trees etc. and if he doesn't appreciate it then too bad. Minor accidents happen and he
totally overreacted.
Work hard, save your money and move out. Meanwhile stay out of his way and remain respectful. I totally get your frustration.

Honestly with everything that has been going on it is time for you to move out. I do not see things getting better, find a place if your mom is ready to go she can follow. If she decides later that she had enough she will have somewhere to go.

While it might seem "nit-picky" to those of us from this area, certain cultural differences can often create barriers when people are learning to adjust to one another. And the whole "I don't mean to be mean, but..." usually means you intend to be just that.

Your wife needs to understand the sacrifice you have made. You have left everything familiar to you to be with her . So if cooking some food familiar to you (even if it stinks) or talking to your family who may or may not speak English well so you have to talk the language. Ask her if she was in Nigeria how would she feel if you got mad. My husband is from Nigeria and he talks Yoruba to his family all the time. I hear it so much I start to pick up the language a little and when his family calls they get so tickled to hear me say some words which gives them reassurance their son is being taking care. As for the food yes it does stink but it really good and she just needs to accept it. Life is too short to get mad on little things especially the journey we all had to get our loved ones here. Wish you well and don't change who you are because that's probably one of the reason she was attracted to you anyway.

Personally, I'd never get angry at my wife for either cooking Filipino food or for speaking Waray. Of course, I enjoy just about everything she cooks, and pretty much any Filipino food, having lived in the Philippines with her for quite some time in the past.
In my opinion, it is unacceptable for a spouse to be angry/controlling regarding either of those non-issues.

Do you have health insurance in the U.S.? If not, have you been to the healthcare.gov website? There is still time to sign up to get coverage this year if you sign up by the end of March.

I don't mean any disrespect, but the one thing, everyone has failed to point out - possibly intentionally, is the fact the you call your friend boyfriend. I've met my now wife online as well, but I don't see how anyone can label someone their bf or gf without meeting first. One should at least meet someone a few times before regarding one another as bf/gf. Come, meet the guy, spend some face-face time with him, then decide on putting that bf label Also, be really careful on deciding to become his fiance and going through this long immigration process. Just a friendly suggestion.
As far as your coming to visit him goes, just be honest about it and do just as Avery Kats suggested. Although, I would simply tell the CBP officer, than I came to see the country and meet with one of my good friends. Telling the officer you came to see your bf whom you've never met, may make him believe you might think of overstaying your allowed time (given by the CBP officer) and that you might go for the quick marriage and AOS. They don't like that.

Good luck for you! But I would suggest you that y'all maybe meet more as one time? I know it's not important as long as y'all have seen each other AT LEAST one time, but maybe to find out how and if y'all getting along together for a longer time?
You see him for nine days... I don't want to judge you, I'm just always so impressed about people who met one time and for just a few days and are getting engaged then and want to get married!
But I hope it is all working out for you :-) good luck

Please prioritise your kids' safety over their immigration status.

Can always return to the safety of your family in the Philippines, put as much distance as possible between you and the supposed abuser.

How can people say that he is an adult? He is 18, and been captive for 2 years. He has no means of defending himself, knowing what to do. Police and social services should be contacted immediately. I hope he stays in US away from his horrible father, and is given the opportunities to go to school.

This is a situation for the authorities.
This is child abuse. It should be reported and investigated.
It's a crime to keep a child captive.
Shame on those of you who say he will be 18 soon and will be an adult and should just move on.
Would any of you allow your child to be treated in such a manner? Kept an illegal visa overstay, not allowed to go to school, etc.
What would you call it if it happened to your child? Would you tell your child to move on?
As a parent, I am aghast at the responses when a child even a 16 years old or 17 years old child is abused - especially by the parent who is there to protect them.
Please report this to the police.
If the authorities finds evidence that he has been abused, he can legally change his status to stay here. At the very least, they will remove him from his current situation.

HUH?

if you feel your were humilated or disrespected. I suggest you write a letter to the Director of the field office, and I would quote from USCIS manual on how the IO should act professionaly with USCIS customers !!

It doesn't matter, really, for most consulates. I do think it's better for YOU, to get to know each other, with a lot of time, so you can be sure whether you want to petition for this person and be on the hook for them for a very long time. However, in terms of the visa process, no.

caryh this woman is still young and for sure she will find love, here is the problem man if she stays here NEVER EVER she will be able to adjust status in the USA< not even through a new marriage to a US Citizen.Imagine if she finds a man in 2,3,4 years and then she becomes madly in love, well her life will be screwed, because she can't adjust status here, she has to leave the country and wait to have a waiver approved. I know I am thinking in the future,but we have to make decisions thinking that most of our decisions can impact our lives forever.The same way she lived 30 years in Philippines without her man, she will be able to continue living in Philippines like all others there.It's hard , but not impossible.

Okay... you do realize at fist it sounded like you were plotting to kill your spouse, right? Disturbing. But I do understand wanting to protect your spouse should something happen to you, so... Your questions are a bit mixed up, but I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability
The K1 process typically looks like this: K1 -> get married in the US -> file for (conditional) greed card (AOS) -> removal of conditions 2 years later (ROC) -> citizenship.
1.) Should the petitioner die before they get married or refuse to file AOS the beneficiary has to return to their home country. There's a clause there for abuse but I'm not comfortable touching that with the way you asked the question.
2.) If the divorce or death happen after the beneficiary receives the conditional green card but before ROC they'll need to prove they entered into the marriage in good faith. So, they can still get an unconditional green card, but the burden is on them to prove they didn't get married just to get a green card.
3.) Citizenship. If at that point the beneficiary is still married to the original petitioner, they can file after 3 years of receiving their green card. If they're divorced or widowed, they can file after 5 years of receiving their green card. If at any point in this process it's discovered that the marriage was just to get a green card, they'll be deported. And the burden is on them to prove everything was legit.
...please don't kill anyone.
edit: Oh, and of course they can remarry. It would look suspicious if it happens too soon after the divorce/death, or if the person they're marrying is someone from their home country etc.

Why would you want to take a chance and wait? I never understand why people want to take these types of risks instead of just doing it.

Guys, I know you don't want to hear this but hang in there. I have not lived with my husband under the same roof since June 2011 (different immigration issues involving a J-1 visa, two year rule - we could not file for the IR-1 until about six months ago.)
I fight with my husband a lot and this is only lately. I also have thought of divorce and this has affected me psychologically. I missed all of my wedding anniversaries and never got to celebrate any bday with him since we got married. I can't even go out to public places without feeling anxious or depressed when I see couples together. I seriously sit there with the worst jealousy and wish that was me.
Two weeks ago, I went to the ER in the middle of the night because of an asthma attack brought on by anxiety... this never happened to me before. I was lying in bed thinking about all sorts of things - including immigration and I couldn't breathe.
It sucks but there is nothing we can do but wait. I would suggest keep bugging the senator, congressperson, the NVC, or whomever.
The only thing that keeps me going is to know that the love I share with my husband (regardless of my thoughts, which we all have) and this experience is something that very few people can go through. Just about everyone has told me "I don't know how you do it. I could never do it" which to me says "I don't love my spouse that much." In fact, yesterday, someone was complaining to me (again) about having to drive 2 hours to see a girl he's dating. And then criticized me for having a long distance relationship saying those never work. well you know what FU is my answer! And all these things serve to show me that what I have is unique and that when we are, in fact, together again, things will be better than before (after marriage counseling if necessary because let me tell you from past experience... it takes adjusting to your spouse who has essentially become somewhat of a stranger. Skype is no substitute for being together as we all know.)
I have faith that things will be better for all of us and that we can show people what love is... regardless of the turmoil our hearts feel and our relationships endure.
HANG IN THERE! <3 I am so grateful for you guys... we can all relate to each other and understand each other!

Thanks.
No one, should endure the pain I am feeling. I wish everyone to be happy with their lives and live everyday happy with their significant other. Do it for me.
thanks again everyone.