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MrsAmera

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  1. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from BasmaHicham in Happy stories of American women +Moroccan husbands   
    Although I have been in the "fraud" posts my story is a happy one. We have been together for 6 years married for 5. We met in Marrakech when I was on vacation with my dad and sister. After a year of visits and processing our visa was granted. The first 2 years were probably the hardest of my life, with a lot of adjustments on both of our parts. Some were cultural, some were oldest child/youngest child dynamics (me being an oldest child, him being the baby of 9!) Things are looking up now as I am making a go of my career and he's finally at a point where he has made the US home and isn't always holding on to moving back to Morocco (and holding back in life here). Certainly he gave up seeing his family all the time to move here, but we have both come to realize that we have BOTH given up a lot for each other and worked towards making a life together instead of focusing on what we've lost in the process. Those months of waiting were hard but life together is a lot harder in many ways. I love him dearly and am happy that we pulled through the really rough times but God forbid something ever happened to him I would never go through this process again!
  2. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Jenn! in a marriage with a muslim   
    I hope you know what you're getting yourself into honey!!
  3. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to Staashi in denied at casablanca   
    Please know, that the consular officers don't deny a visa on some willy-nilly bs. They deny based on the belief that there is fraudulent behavior by one or both parties. They might have some type of evidence in their files that demonstrates this. And yes, it its sad that people who are in love feel persecuted for whom they love, but these COs see so much fraud everyday that they'd rather err on the side of caution than to give the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from kristen_maroc in Morocco flights! Please help!   
    I refuse to fly Royal Air Maroc because of their god awful service. I've booked tickets to Morocco 10+ times through just about every city in Europe. My favorite airline to fly is British Air, though Luftansa is not bad either. Air France/Delta has the most flight options going into Morocco. Iberia tends to have the cheapest fares but often requires an overnight in Madrid. I always buy online - etickets. I use orbitz.
  5. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to Sofiyya in Question on Islam?   
    I'm a born Muslima who was married to a Christian for nearly 3 decades. I also have a Ph.D in Islamic law, culture and history. It's not haraam for Muslims to passively attend a church service out of respect for friends and family. As Muslims and members of the ahl al kitab, we are called upon in the Quran to find ways to Him despite our diversity of belief.
    Quran 5:48. To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah. it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute;
    Our Nabi (pbuh) consulted a Christian after receiving his first revelation. He also lead his followers to refuge under a Christian king when they came under attack. He was instructed by Allah to seek advice from those among the learned who had received the Message before him, and searched the Talmud for laws to apply to his fledgling community. The Quran also tells us that He made us into nations and tribes so we will know each other, and that there will be Christians and Jews who will enter heaven.
    Allah doesn't intend for us to take on the practices of the Christians among us, but He also doesn't intend for us to segregate ourselves or refuse to acknowledge our differences. If we want non-Muslims to understand us and promote interfaith understanding in a way that pleases God, we must be prepared to share and to enter their houses of worship as we also invite them to engage and enter ours.
  6. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Lisamarie in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  7. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from mahboula in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  8. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from sandinista! in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  9. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Golden Gate in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  10. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from msheesha in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  11. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from PalestineMyHeart in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  12. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Meriem_DZ in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  13. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from ~*Dorothy*~ in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  14. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from FormerlyKnownAs in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Wow that's a very brash and insulting comment to make. I was raised Christian and found a lot of unanswered questions and contradictions in Christianity through a lot of research, reading, and talking with clergy. I didn't convert because I "lacked a backbone" I converted because Islam made more sense for me. I think being so self-righteous about your personal decision is pretty unattractive. Would you like us all to give you a round of applause? Certainly there are some people who make choices based on the relationship their in but to just assume that you're better than anyone who has converted without even the inkling of knowledge about their decision is just rude.
  15. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Sofiyya in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    Actually I am a bit offended and my conversion was far from a "cupid conversion". I don't doubt that this exists, in fact even in our tiny little masjid here I've seen women come in "looking for husbands". That being said I was raised in a very Lutheran home, my mom still leads children ministry at her church. I am incredibly well educated and I made the choice to convert. Without having traveled to Morocco (before meeting my husband) and being exposed to a "real" Islamic environment and not the Islam of western media would I have converted, probably not. But I also wouldn't have stayed in the church. Personally there were too many inconsistencies in Christianity. That being said I don't think that being Muslim all of the sudden means all these drastic huge changes. I know that had I married an anglo-Christian, I would have been dressing more conservatively as a married woman. I wouldn't have been out boozing it up etc. My husband is very religious and we agree that we live in this country. We will not isolate our children from the larger American culture or my family. We participate in all holidays with my family in our own way.
    I guess what I'm trying to say is this issue isn't black and white. Yes you're right there are women who convert to make a man happy but IMO they haven't really converted they are just "keeping up appearances". Truly converted happens in your heart and intentions. And Islam isn't any harder than you chose to make it.
  16. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to sandinista! in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    using the haq as a weapon, to self-promote your own righteousness, and bludgeon those who you think fall short of it, is as offensive as any misguided sugar coating. and while my approach may suck just as badly, i'm at least self-aware.
  17. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to msheesha in Conversion as related to visa approval...   
    We're not sitting with anyone and celebrating their religion or religious beliefs. We are sitting with family and celebrating the opportunity for all of us to be together and enjoy each others' company. One of the best places to participate in charitable giving is within your family. I think this is also true for interfaith dialogue, understanding, and tolerance. We attend their dinners, get togethers, parties, etc just as they attend our Eid celebrations. My husband and I both agree and have no problem with it, and it's what we prefer.
    You can call it Islam lite, or whatever other mocking, negative, accusatory phrasing you wish. There's no need to go back and forth about this. You've said what you believe to be helpful. Enough said.
  18. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from ~kiyah~ in newbie in the group   
    Objectively looking at this what are your flags?
    - age difference
    - length of physical time spent together
    - length of time talking before filing
    On the plus side; neither of you have been married before and there are no kids in the mix. Usually that's some points for you.
    A CR1 is not a guarantee of a visa. I would request the consular notes from the Dept of State in a FOIA to find out what was said about your case. You may be able to get more details from that. If the reason you are being denied is something other than what they are telling you this is information you want to know. Again the consulars often know more about a case than you do.
    I think this story and many others coming out of Casa are important for ppl to take note of. There are many more denials than I've seen in recent years. I think that as petitioners people need to understand the real hurdles they are facing when applying for a visa. Take the time to do research and spend physical time with your SO - for the visa and for yourselves. A week or two together is not going to be enough to show sincerity. Put it in the context of the US. If you were dating someone from WA state and you lived in FL and had only spent a week physically together would you say you knew that person? Many would argue you must spend more time together.
    No criticism to anyone in this regard - just some thoughts.
  19. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from Sofiyya in Experiences with the Consulate in Casablanca   
    There have been many threads on this subject. Sadly when advice/theories are given many people do not like what they hear and all heck breaks lose.
  20. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from sara535 in Experiences with the Consulate in Casablanca   
    There have been many threads on this subject. Sadly when advice/theories are given many people do not like what they hear and all heck breaks lose.
  21. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from mahboula in Experiences with the Consulate in Casablanca   
    There have been many threads on this subject. Sadly when advice/theories are given many people do not like what they hear and all heck breaks lose.
  22. Like
    MrsAmera got a reaction from ~kiyah~ in Abuse of power in the American Consulate   
    Please remember being granted a visa is not a right - it's a privalage. You nor your spouse are entitled to a visa just because you "love each other". You are free to marry/love who you choose - you are not free to import anyone you choose. You paid out a lot of funds, so has everyone. Also, sometimes actually a lot of times, the consular knows things even you do not know. They don't deny just because they feel like it. There are reasons that for them to deny, again perhaps things that you do not know about. I suggest to ease your mind you submit a FOIA with the State Dept and request the consular notes for your case. Perhaps they will offer you a glimpse into the reasons for the denial.
  23. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to Crossed_fingers in Abuse of power in the American Consulate   
    I think I've posted about this before, but it goes with what you're saying, so here's what I've observed in "real life"...
    I knew an American Muslim girl who studied abroad for a semester in Morocco. She came home and found a group of other American Muslim women that was officially a group for discussing and exchanging information on Morocco. Trading recipes, practicing darija, stuff like that. When she went, she discovered that ALL of the other women in the group had been married to and then divorced by Moroccan husbands. There were 30 of them. I don't know how many of the 30 couples were fraud and how many were legitimate couples who just didn't work out, but not one of those marriages lasted. The group had started when most were still married and I think quite a few of the women had children with the men first.
    Later, I met one of the other women who was in the group. She never offered to talk to me about her own divorce, although she had lived in Morocco for many years with her husband and I find it unlikely that her relationship ended because of fraud. However, they met when she was living in Morocco, they married when she was around 20 years old, a virgin, already Muslim, and already fluent in darija. She was of the opinion that any and every Moroccan man who intentionally sought out a Western woman was a scammer, whether he sought the woman online or in person where she stood out as a foreigner. She relayed tons of stories and red flags to me as a warning before I went to Morocco. I have to say, while my SO didn't overlap much with the profile she said was typical, I do see what she described as the classic fraud profile online all the time. From what she had seen, it didn't end well.
    She in turn introduced me to yet another American woman who lived in Morocco with her Moroccan husband of 15+ years. That woman described herself as being stuck in a terrible marriage full of cultural differences, because she had kids and because she had no life to return to in the U.S. She had converted to Islam and basically had an arranged marriage to her husband when she was a teenager and a virgin and lived in Morocco ever since. She said over the years she'd met "countless" American women who married Moroccan men who moved to the U.S. and divorced immediately. She also described the rampant fraud she saw everyday in Casablanca and suggested that even if you think you know about marriage fraud, you never REALLY know until you see the couples waiting outside or at the cafe across from the consulate.
    I know this is a doom and gloom post, and I actually took longer to write this than probably any other post I've made on VJ because I'm editing out a lot of the details and the particular stories and comments these women made about the relationships they've seen. I know a lot of readers seem to be pretty sensitive or defensive when the topic of fraud and divorce out of Morocco comes up. In full disclosure, even though the 2nd woman I described was surprised that my SO didn't have a lot of the obvious warning signs of fraud, she still was of the belief that it was basically impossible that he had contacted me online with good intentions. Obviously we disagree on that point. I'm just pointing this out because it seems to be the conclusion of some people on VJ that most Moroccan-American immigration marriages are genuine, or at least somehow we're all the exception and fraud just happens to other people. On the other hand, it seems to me that everyone with years of experience with those mixed marriages would argue strongly to the contrary.
    I think listening to people like these women and MrsAmera can shed some light on how the CO's think. If anything, my acquaintances wouldn't give out anywhere near the number of visas than the consulate does because they have seen ALMOST ALL of the visa beneficiaries end up divorcing. MrsAmera's circle of friends suggests the same. We've seen plenty of posts about fraud on VJ, and those are stories about men who made it through Casablanca. I have sympathy for the women whose loved ones are denied; I'm facing the same consulate myself.......but I have to say, with all the fraud out there that isn't discovered until after the men have their papers, I think it's a lot easier to argue objectively that the consulate is too lenient, not too tough.
  24. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to KittyPollitt in Abuse of power in the American Consulate   
    I just wanted to add that she is a regular human being. I searched her on Google. She is Iranian American. She went to Harvard Law and worked at a firm in New York. She has an article published in a law journal about justice in the Sierra Leone. She donated $2100 to the Obama campaign. She was considered annoying by some of her Harvard classmates, and claims she is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. She was crazy about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and picked it apart on online forums not unlike this one. She hated the movie Titanic. She's a film buff.
    I'm saying all this to say, she is not a monster. She's just a person. A kid, really- she's doing her job the way she was told to.
    If you really want to get your husbands past her, study posts on here about people's experiences with her. Watch the videos of her on youtube and get a feel for the type of person she is and figure out the best way to approach her. For GOD'S SAKE, BE PREPARED. Coming on here after the fact and complaining that she made your husband "nervous" isn't going to change the fact that she is the Chief of the non immigrant visa section at the consulate in Casablanca and she has the final say.

  25. Like
    MrsAmera reacted to Jenn! in Abuse of power in the American Consulate   
    This comment gets a gold star...
    "Hi there i think the reason she refused his visa to US...she want him for herself..."
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