GAFL

Hi Sis ! I am so sorry while reading your story. I can relate with your experiences. It can't stop me from sharing my story. It brought back to my mind what I also experienced when I was there in the US thru K-1 visa. The difference with me was I didn't marry my ex-Fiance, instead, I went home before my 90 days. And I think that was the best ever decision I made in my life. It was a very tough decision to make, as it was a matter of my heart. It really broke my heart and shed me so many tears during my flight back home as I leave my Fiance. I know we both love each other that was why we decided to work on the immigration papers, but it was just not right for me to continue staying with them and live a miserable life. I live a happy and comfortable life in my home country.
Exactly, that was also my experiences while living together with the mother of my ex-Fiance. I couldn't spend quality time with my ex-Fiance as his mom was always watching / tracking us. And, I think they are unseparable as they always do things together. There were times that they even eat together and not even inviting me. I couldn't forget it was my 1st bday to celebrate together with my Fiance, but his mom just spoiled my day, by asking his son to drive her out. So many times I tried to talk to my ex-Fiance about my feelings, and he acknowledged it, and promised that he will do the right thing for us, but in the end it was frustrating as when his mom says something, everything changes. I respect my Fiance for being a very good son to his mom, and in fact that was one of the reasons why I thought we could make it. I was wrong, as he always considers his mom's decision. I think, his mom will never accept me. I tried to do everything to please her mom, but she was just good in front of me. At my back, I hear a lot of negative thoughts, which I knew wasn't worth of my sacrifices to start life in a strange country. I could not force her to like me.
Sis, I was lucky because before I went to the US, I got a chance to read much about VJ stories and some insights and advices in the site. Knowing and seeing my actual situation in the US, I just thought not to pursue our marriage despite we already have applied our marriage license. I was so scared-- what will happen if after marriage, they will not file on my adjustment of status so I could work and become legally stable in the US. I am a hard working woman, independent, and I want to contribute to the household. I felt so helpless as I used to earn good money in my home country. I just got the feeling that it couldn't happen, as his mom was making things difficult for me, and my fiance is a very obedient son.
IMHO, Sis, you have to talk heart to heart to your husband, since you two are now married. It was bit easy for for me as we didn't marry. If things still didnt work out, the only option you have is going back home. I understand that you have given up your job, everything in the PI. But never lose hope, God will provide..... just call upon His name. Your family and friends will understand you. This was also my earlier fear, I might have a lot of explanations to do, but in the end, if we have good friends and family, they will understand and support. Ultimately, we need to make and stand for our own decision. Without AOS, you couldn't get your GC, so you cannot stay and work legally. Just be strong..... and face realities of life. I too was so down before, but now I could say, life is very good. I have peace of mind which is priceless. I recovered and now back to my very good and enjoyable work. My Fiance still communicates and even plans to make another visit, but I just think the only thing we could be together if he relocates here for good. If I was able to move there, then he should, if he really wants us forever. He wants to petition for me again, but I told him straight that I couldn't live with another roller coaster life again. That was enough for me.
Sis, I hope, in a little way, I was able to make you think rationale. I know it is not easy when it matters our hearts. But pray to God for strength and wisdom so He could direct you to do the best thing. Love yourself..... and never lose hope. I hope your situation changes soon and become better.
God bless and take care always.

Thanks saylin. Well I just hope we make it to interview before April 15 so I don't have to worry about it.

Good Evening Dilmera,
I know exactly how you are feeling. EXACTLY! I was one week shy of 90 days of transfer. I did everything up under the sun plus more. I am not sure if any of it worked or if it was just our time to be approved.
All of this was probably started from about May 2013 up until January 2014
I contacted Congressman Ross 3 times.
I contacted Obudsman Office 2 times.
I went to 3 infopass appointments.
I sent an email to Texas Service Center & the Main Service Center.
I put in 2 service request via the 800 number.
I put in 2 e-request via online.
So as I stated earlier I do not know if any of this helped or if it was just our time. I am NOT going to tell you to be patient because we have been and it hurts to not know. I will be sending smooth thoughts and prayers your direction though. Please have your spouse be prepared for the next phase at National Visa Center though because I hear it can go really quick and we could possibly be reunited in 4-6 months.
Happy Anniversary to you both~

But part of moving on is also taking responsibility for your part in decisions... It takes TWO people to get pregnant... It is not just a case of HE got you pregnant... Pregnancy takes two people, if YOU did not want to have a child, then precautions should have been taken, therefore, it is also your responsibility to take ownership of of your decision. Sorry, but this is a sensitive subject when I hear women blaming HiM for,getting THEM pregnant. Unless it was a forced sexual encounter, then you BOTH had a part in it... Just as your tolerance to his cheating and forgiving him time and time again has put you in an terrible position... When you take ownership of decisions, you can learn and progress.. And make better ones. I am not meaning to be harsh, but you see the man for who he is now, divorce and move forward... Be strong... Learn from the mistakes you made, not from the ones he made...

I believe your topic title is against TOS as it specifically and negatively singles out a group of people, Nigerians in this case.

Your story does not read like you were scammed for a GC but like you chose to marry a man with red flags who has no integrity
and is a cheater and a big jerk. Happens here in the good old USA all the time, nothing exclusively Nigerian about it.

He could have divorced you and ROC'ed without you but he remained with you and you ROC'ed him through it all,
knowing he fell off the turnip wagon many times. No, he will not be deported for cheating.
When we risk taking chances with someone who shows his true colors, then we have to be big enough
to be accountable for our own choices and not "warn" people of an entire country of people. It goes without saying that there are
good and bad apples in every country, race and ethnicity, nationality.
I can tell you that nobody reading your 'warning' will end their relationship, because everyone thinks their
marriage will last a lifetime.
No one can take thousands of dollars of your money over the years unless you allow it and go with the flow right along with it.
Your friends who also have cheating Nigerian men chose to stay with them after the first offense...why do I ask myself ?!
Why stay with a serial cheater ?
Why do some women put up with so much ####### ?
Why would your friend not call the authorities when her man did the romance scam in front of her and the kids ? WTH ?
She didn't do anything about it immediately did she ? So why stay with him and cry about it later ?
Your FIL advises you that if you want a lasting marriage then you should have closed your eye to it.
That is a village mentality and an entitlement thinking which is more common in some African cultures
because the women are shamed for divorcing and often can not provide for themselves or their kids alone so they do close their eyes
to it. The modern city woman will not put up with it, there are exceptions to the rule of course.
I hope some day all women will discover their self worth and separate themselves from this nonsense.
Rather than telling people to run it would be more beneficial to tell them to investigate their potential partners at the beginning
of meeting them and not after being married already. That goes for all internet romances, home and abroad.
People leave digital tracks and trails all the time trolling the net.
It is not hard to find someone on dating sites at all.
You can send someone you trust ( church affiliated pastor, missionary, trusted friend etc. ) directly to his house unannounced and see what
pops up, anyone can keep up a pretense for a 2 week visit....except your ignorant ex ( I hope he is an ex now ) couldn't even pull that off.
Been there, done that and have the T-shirt many years ago and was successful in discovering real evidence and ended the relationship.
But no one will "run" having read that your marriage failed.
Last but not least, I truly am sorry that it didn't work out for you, I truly am.
We all must be accountable to our choices and decisions in life and regain our beauty and happiness through the consequences
and knowing the future will be better with better choices and setting higher standards for ourselves.
That is when real growth happens within ourselves and then we can truly move on and share our story with others who ask us for
advice.
We must become fruit inspectors and look deeper than the charm that is on display.

HAHAHA I was coming back to edit my post but will not let me now... I was incorrect about the 50% thing (I was looking at claiming a dependent earlier which I can not claim, Sorry)
Straight out of the text book...
Nonresident Alien Spouse
If your spouse is a nonresident alien, he or she must have either a SSN or an ITIN if:
1. You file a joint return,
2. You file a separate return and claim an exemption for your spouse,or
3. Your spouse is filing a separate return
Married Filing Jointly
1. You were married at the end of 2013, even if you did not live with your spouse at the end of 2013
2. Your spouse died in 2013 and you did not remarry in 2013
3. You were married at the end of 2013 and your spouse died in 2014 before filing a 2013 return
A married couple filing jointly report their combined income and deduct their combined allowable expenses on one return. They can file a joint return even if only one had income or if they did not live together all year. However, both person must sign the return.
Nonresident aliens and dual status aliens
Generally, a married couple cannot file a joint return if either spouse is a nonresident alien at any time during the year. However, if you were a nonresident alien or a dual-status alien and were married to a US citizen or resident alien at the end of 2013, you can elect to be treated as a resident alien and file a joint return. See Pub. 519 for details
Married filling separately
Be sure to enter your spouse's SSN or ITIN on Form 1040. If your spouse does not have and is not required to have a SSN or ITIN, enter "NRA"
There is a bunch of other stuff also
But really on the W4 it doesn't matter what you put...

Does anyone else here think that it is not just the processing time to endure, overcoming personal bias is an issue?

OMG OMG OMG I JUT GOT APPROVEDDDDD

I sent a fax to the TSC this morning... Something along the lines of: My Christmas wish is for my I-130 petition to be approved this week. We have been waiting for 8 months as of today.. Blah blah blah everyone in your office gets to spend the holidays with their families. I know I can't be with my husband this Christmas but an approval this week would speed up the process so we don't have to miss any more holidays and special occations together.
Have a great holiday and remember those of us who aren't with our spouses due to the huge backlog at the USCIS...
I didn't sign it but I did provide my case number incase someone with a sympathetic heart might look into my case and maybe do something with it.. ( I can only hope)
And no, I don't think it will help but like everyone else, I feel helpless. I made me feel better as I faxed it !

I think it would be much cleaner if they just closed the loophole for those that walk in on VWP/visitors visa and claim to be struck by the marrying bug. Let everyone be fully vetted in their home country. After all they didn't intend on staying when they arrived ( bullshit ) The current system gives on unfair advantage to white people and disfavors minorities.

Where is the letter that was sent on yesterday?
Who will write the new letter?
I believe if we set a specific day to send would work to of that week. Also, how could we get the media involved?
Just a tired spouse ready for their spouse.... Thanks everyone for allowing me to ask all the questions.

I am in for another targeted campaign. What can we do? When can we do it? Because I'm ready for my spouse to be here because Feb. 28 will be a year of waiting... Unacceptable.

Hi folks,
I have been away from the VJ boards for several weeks now because my wife arrived here in the US on a 3 month visit.
Thank you and congratulations on the email campaign. However, we should continue to keep up the pressure, and let me try to explain why. Their "acknowledgment" letter was the product of our organizational activities. They are telling us that they 'hear' us. One of the tactics that government uses to end dissent is to "acknowledge" the pain of the dissenters or the mistakes of the government. The purpose is to calm the dissenters so that they stop putting pressure on the government.
We should be pleased by one fact: We got their attention, which means that they are worried about us to some degree - and they should be worried. The more I have studied our issue the more it does appear that the government acted lawlessly, ignoring standing law, even the Article I powers of Congress in the Constitution, in order to push a political agenda, and force us to pay the price for their political aims. So, of course, they - the administration - do not want our outcry to become louder. They want to placate and calm us so that we will shut up.
The letter says that the principle of family unity 'explains' why they are working so hard. This is utter BS. The administration chose, in defiance of law, to re-allocate resources to legalize illegally resident foreigners - who are already living with their families (illegally) in the US - in preference to us, who are USCs and foreign spouses of USCs who followed the law and are separated longer as a result of the administration's decisions. If the administration truly 'valued' family unity, they never would have made the decisions that they did. The results were foreseeable. If you don't believe this, look at the documents that Judicial Watch pulled out of the government on the FOIA demand. They show that the government knew this more than a year ago. They knew that this was going to happen, and they threw us under the bus anyway. Laurel Scott said on her FB page that they knew that this was foreseeable also. Some of us who have been in process long enough, and have studied this enough now know that it is highly implausible that they could not have foreseen the consequences of their decisions.
So, the point I am trying to make is that we should not be beguiled by their spin, and we should continue to pressure them until their processing times are restored to where they were - not 5 months as they say, but three months as our 11/2012 - 1/2013 VJ averages show. At this point, I trust our data more than their claims, which are infused with the clear intention to lie, obfuscate, mislead and are also often misinformed and contradictory. They have the political motivation - to conceal their lawless, defacto amnesty policy - to lie and hide the truth.
Also, I do think that their processing times should drop even further than 3 months for us. It should be more like 1 month. Let us not set the bar too low on them, and contentedly rejoice at 5 or 3 month processing times. When a law-abiding US Citizen marries a respectable foreigner, and carefully follows the law, they deserve the green card almost right away.
In the meantime, I recommend that we continue the pressure until processing times are cut down even more. I am very pleased to see the recent uptick in processing. And parenthetically, I am stunned by the number of February and March applications being approved right now - which leaves one again wondering what they hell they were doing all these months.
I am up for another targeted campaign soon.
--Alaskafan

good job thanks to every one who made out time for this the sky is our limit, let's keep it positive
GOOD JOB

I'm thinking about sending USCIS' email to some media outlets. Now that they've made a statement and it's circulating around the internet, the combined tale of our effort and USCIS' response might be more newsworthy. I know there won't be any changes to policy as a result, but USCIS responded to pressure, and I'm inclined to keep applying it. There's more to the story than "a backlog exists" and I'm big on people/organizations taking responsibility. Thanks to USCIS I have plenty of time apart from my SO to fill, and this seems to be as good a way as any

A big shout-out to Alaskafan who started the movement! http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/459909-usc-green-card-petitioners-committee/
Also to naam, BOS_LHR, en-oh-eh-to now, Salo&Romashka, Kaylara and everyone else who helped make this happen.
GOOD JOB

People! No negative thinking! No raining on our parade!
Let's collectively try the "power of positive thinking". Whether you believe in it or not, try it out.. Pray if you're religious, visualize it if you're not...
Let's try to imagine the NOA2 arriving... it's in the mail truck.... it's in our mail box.... it's in our hands.. we open the envelope... "approved!"
Let's really try to be more optimistic!
The USCIS is not trying to screw us over. Government entities tend to work slow. Let's try to change our way of thinking and keep hoping for the best.!

Oh I started crying too
I can't wait to be reunited with my husband. I'm going to spend one month with him in Brazil in December... I am a July filer and the BEST X-mas present I could get would be an NOA2.
I think we should still email / fax bomb everyone today.. and sporadically.

I contacted the Senators and Congressman in my state. I started in the beginning of Sept. I've gotten just about no response from them except that I should expect more delays. Luckily, my case got transferred to Nebraska last week without their intervention. Because one Senator doesn't respond to any contact, another is too busy worrying about Illegal Immigration, and my Congressman is busy winning right-wing awards from people who want to make Fundamentalist Christianity the law of the land and has no time to do his actual job. (Seriously, telling me the same thing I can read on the USCIS website is not friggin' helpful.)
(o_o) I'm not bitter at all. (o_o)
What I'm saying here is that other people's mileage may vary. For some people it seems to help a lot. For me, all it's done is given me three more people to put on my "waste of resources, don't vote for" list.

I called the USCIS customer service line today concerning my petition. I was transferred on 06/21/2013 from Vermont to Texas, with an original NOA1 date of 1/24/2013. In listening to the information given to me, I was told that I have to wait an additional 180 DAYS FROM THE TIME OF THE TRANSFER OCCURRING TO BE OUTSIDE THE NORMAL PROCESSING WINDOW! I then talked to an agent there, and was told the same thing.
THIS IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL HORSE #######! I see that they can come after me if I don't respond to the IRS right away, but we cannot do anything to the for not processing a lawful visa request in the proper allocated time. I sent a nasty-gram off to Senator Rubio about this.
Its #######, complete and total #######.

Congratulations to your family!! Best wishes as the process nears completion at POE and Birth!!!
Godbless

Charlie Angel 13,
You did not have to be so disrespectful to NigeriaorBust in your last post. They were just offering you sound advice. Yes, we are all aware that you have an attorney, but I promise you by the end of your journey you're going to either loved that you invested so much money or hate that you invested so much money. I hope you and your fiance have smooth process. In addition, I hope you are ready for the Nigerian Embassy as well. May you have a wonderful year. Look forward to your progress.
Blessings to you!

Charlie Angel 13,
You did not have to be so disrespectful to NigeriaorBust in your last post. They were just offering you sound advice. Yes, we are all aware that you have an attorney, but I promise you by the end of your journey you're going to either loved that you invested so much money or hate that you invested so much money. I hope you and your fiance have smooth process. In addition, I hope you are ready for the Nigerian Embassy as well. May you have a wonderful year. Look forward to your progress.
Blessings to you!

Congratulations!! May God continue this journey in a speedy and efficient way with wonderful outcome...Blessings to you both..