Wife 'abandoning' responsibilities

[xanadu 0]

Okay, that got your attention! Sorry, in any other situation other than my own, it could easily be "husband 'abandoning' responsibilities". The responsibilites I refer to being those of the Affadavit of Support signed in application of my conditional permanent residency.

We had been having problems in our relationship that centered around depression on one party (myself) and stress on the other (my wife) that were possibly fixable if we sought individual professional help to begin with, a short-term separation, marriage councilling and then the attempt to relight the fire with a date or two. If only I could have awoke from my depression sooner though and smelt the coffee. It was my wife that proposed these things and I believed I left it too late. Initially I was told by her that I would have to arrange alternative accomodation and "fend for myself". I objected to a separation and I objected to needing a therapist. I felt that my depression was due to the greater growing divide of the relationship and that there was nothing that I could do about it. Anyway, eventually my wife told me that she had found herself an apartment and again that I would have to "fend for myself" like "any other single man". She was serious and this was the punch in the face I so deservingly needed so I made tracks to get myself sorted and made arrangements to start seeing a therapist. I agreed that I would accept the temporary separation and that we would try again 6 months later. However, between telling me this and before she moved out, I found out that she was having sex with other men (yes, more than one). It sounds ridiculous, that i am perhaps delousional, but unfortunately I wish the mitigating evidence didn't exist and that it was indeed all in my head. She ended up moving out sooner when I discovered what she had been up to.

After receiving my greencard in April, I got myself a great job, although it's a temporary position. I am very confident that it will set me up for the next postion. I am able to comfortably pay the rent and utilities on my own, financially have a comfortable life as a single person and I am not vindictive to chuck all of that in. However, situations change. What if my depression worsens, I lose my job and I find it difficult to get another. Okay, they're all 'ifs' and we have that in life. The big 'if' though is, what are my wife's responsibilities before she disappears into the sunset. If my landlord was to threaten to throw me out because I can't afford the rent. Is she responsible for helping me make sure that doesn'y happen? I seriously don't want it to go like that and nor do I want to sit on my backside letting my life go down a hole. I'm just scared and I don't think either of us want to end up taking any unnecessary legal action other than the divorce.

I'll clarify, if some of the things I've mentioned above are unclear.

Thanks.

[xanadu 0]

Just want to clarify that the topic title is just a pun of sorts. We both take equal responsibilites as woman and man with the running of the household etc.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

The affidavit of support is an agreement between your wife and the US government that if you claim public funds she could be asked to repay them... it does not mean that your wife has to financialy support you.... if you want her financial support then you can seek this at the time of divorce....

Kez

[xanadu 0]

The affidavit of support is an agreement between your wife and the US government that if you claim public funds she could be asked to repay them... it does not mean that your wife has to financialy support you.... if you want her financial support then you can seek this at the time of divorce....

Kez

Thanks Kez.

I'm just terrified because she is going to tell the landlord that she's moving out, although she already has, and that the landlord may not want the risk of someone with a temporary job taking on the responsibilities. I'm imagining a hell getting a new abode in this city.

[Kotenochek 0]

Sounds hell.good luck with that

[Mags 112]

I'm moving this to the appropriate forum: Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits. OP you should get more answers in there.

[zqt3344 21]

No she is not responsible, you are.

Okay, that got your attention! Sorry, in any other situation other than my own, it could easily be "husband 'abandoning' responsibilities". The responsibilites I refer to being those of the Affadavit of Support signed in application of my conditional permanent residency.

We had been having problems in our relationship that centered around depression on one party (myself) and stress on the other (my wife) that were possibly fixable if we sought individual professional help to begin with, a short-term separation, marriage councilling and then the attempt to relight the fire with a date or two. If only I could have awoke from my depression sooner though and smelt the coffee. It was my wife that proposed these things and I believed I left it too late. Initially I was told by her that I would have to arrange alternative accomodation and "fend for myself". I objected to a separation and I objected to needing a therapist. I felt that my depression was due to the greater growing divide of the relationship and that there was nothing that I could do about it. Anyway, eventually my wife told me that she had found herself an apartment and again that I would have to "fend for myself" like "any other single man". She was serious and this was the punch in the face I so deservingly needed so I made tracks to get myself sorted and made arrangements to start seeing a therapist. I agreed that I would accept the temporary separation and that we would try again 6 months later. However, between telling me this and before she moved out, I found out that she was having sex with other men (yes, more than one). It sounds ridiculous, that i am perhaps delousional, but unfortunately I wish the mitigating evidence didn't exist and that it was indeed all in my head. She ended up moving out sooner when I discovered what she had been up to.

After receiving my greencard in April, I got myself a great job, although it's a temporary position. I am very confident that it will set me up for the next postion. I am able to comfortably pay the rent and utilities on my own, financially have a comfortable life as a single person and I am not vindictive to chuck all of that in. However, situations change. What if my depression worsens, I lose my job and I find it difficult to get another. Okay, they're all 'ifs' and we have that in life. The big 'if' though is, what are my wife's responsibilities before she disappears into the sunset. If my landlord was to threaten to throw me out because I can't afford the rent. Is she responsible for helping me make sure that doesn'y happen? I seriously don't want it to go like that and nor do I want to sit on my backside letting my life go down a hole. I'm just scared and I don't think either of us want to end up taking any unnecessary legal action other than the divorce.

I'll clarify, if some of the things I've mentioned above are unclear.

Thanks.

[pushbrk 12,122]

The affidavit of support is an agreement between your wife and the US government that if you claim public funds she could be asked to repay them... it does not mean that your wife has to financialy support you.... if you want her financial support then you can seek this at the time of divorce....

Kez

Thanks Kez.

I'm just terrified because she is going to tell the landlord that she's moving out, although she already has, and that the landlord may not want the risk of someone with a temporary job taking on the responsibilities. I'm imagining a hell getting a new abode in this city.

This may happen. Right now, the person who signed the lease is responsible. If the rent isn't paid, all occupants would be evicted. If your signature is not on the lease, then you need to make appropriate arrrangements for this or another dwelling on your own. None of this is your wife's responsibility unless you get a court to agree to it in divorce procedings. Under the circumstances you describe, I wouldn't count on that. Time to get your act together and get on with life as best you can.