Seperated and getting Divorced

[mystery 0]

I am unfortunatley seperated and trying to divorce my wife.

I brought my wife on a K-1 Visa from Colombia.

She arrived here on Jan 30th and we got married on Feb 15th.

She has her SS# and her Conditional Permanent Resident Card since June.

Problem is that my wife is a huge mental case. Ever since being married she has been accusing me of being with another woman, WITHOUT EVIDENCE. She'll use things such as that I took an extra 5-10 min's driving home from work. That I use my work phone to stay in touch with the "other" woman, etc...... All her accusations are imaginative.

From the very begining she has been physical with me. Hitting, punchin, biting, scratching, etc...... Her reason for all this is that she's totally distraught because she thinks I have another woman. Which is impossible because I am always with her. I have even taken her to work so she can see that I don't have a mistress. I have tried to be very patient with her and understand her but when some hits you and harms you , you have to draw a line.

About a week ago I started using our computer and noticed she has occasionally been in touch with an ex bf of hers from Colombia. I confronted her and she denied it.

That same day she went out of the house while I was at work and when she returned she was drunk and had lied to me as to where she was. At that point she went at it again with me. She went to kick me and as I went to block the kick she fractured my finger.

I had enough and I have been out of the house for 2 days.

I already told her that I want her OUT! And I want her OUT of the US. She does not deserve to stay here with everything that she has done to me.

My problem is that she DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE! She doesn't want to get a divorce because she says she loves me and wants to work it out. I have refused this becuase I have forgiven her way too many times and because of her emails with her ex bf.

Right now she is at my house alone with my mother with no intention of leaving.

I already filed a police report as to my fractured finger and that she has been physical with me. I did this so it is officially reported in case anything comes back to bite me in the a$$.

I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be with her. I want to send her back to Colombia, get a divorce and not have anything to do with her anymore. I don't wanna be responsible for her if she for any reason stays in the US.

Any input???? Thanx in advance folks.

Edited October 7, 2007 by mystery

[desert_fox 32]

finally...someone married my ex-wife!!! you sure she is from Colombia??

see a lawyer and begin divorce procedings.

[PachucoBro 3]

Ok man I replied to your email as well. Here is my response to your post tho...

Your post is only YOUR side of things, but I would assume that even if you were exaggerating things still are not good in your household or relationship.

I have been AND am going through exactly the same thing, however my wife does not physically harm me to the extent your wife has. infact the opposite happened to me where in an argument my wife fell and hurt herself and then called the police on ME. I now have an attorney and am trying to get my case dismissed.

My wife has thought the same exact things of me as yours does of you. She thought I was seeing someone else or wanted someone else because we were arguing alot. When in reality I loved her very much, but was very standoffish due to her 'mental dischord'.

If you plan to continue to go for the divorce... PROTECT YOURSELF. Reporting the incidents to the police does nothing when she decides to call because of something you did. If you truly want her out of your life help her move and get out and IF she does anythign physical to you that leaves a mark or can be photographed. CALL THE POLICE and press charges. Filing reports will do nothing to help you in the future if things go bad for you.

Now for all the naysayers that had bad mouthed me when I mentioned sending my wife back to Colombia due to crazy behavior and mental problems and saying I was such a jerk for feeling that way... My wife is coming back to live with me after 6 weeks of her taking off to another state after I found ALOT of chat logs with other men INCLUDING her EX boyfriend in Colombia and AFTER me getting a SEVERE criminal case put on me... BUT I know I love her and I know she is crazy like this because she has not learned to GROWUP and realize what is important. I am her husband... and she is my wife.

Good luck to all who are going through the same difficulties. If you think I can offer you some advice or lend an ear let me know. Laterz.

-= Abel =-

[akatagirl 0]

Mystery and Abel,

I am very sorry that you both are going thru such tough times with your wives.

I am sorry that I do not have any valuable input on your situations but all i can say is to protect yourselves, keep the evidence of those emails and logs from their exs just in case and it may not be such a bad idea to not let your wives know that you plan to keep a copy of the emails and chat logs....

Mystery, no person deserves to be put in situation where they can be physically harmed and I think the next time she gets physical with you, you should contact your local police and take pictures if she leaves any bruises on you..all too often men do not speak up or report this to the police for fear that they will be emasculated if their wives appear to be the one who is physically abusing them, so I think its very brave of you to finally have reported that she harmed you.

Abel it sounds like you are trying to work on things with your wife, I wish you and your wife all the best....

Mystery, I think you need to return home to at least be with your mother and take time to decide the fate of your marriage......I do not think anyone would blame you if decided to end it and I can understand you not wanting her anywhere near you but I think the only way you can truly get her sent back to Colombia is if you can somehow prove that she entered into the marriage for fraudalent purposes (this is where those emails from her ex may play a crucial part) but really take the time for yourself to decide if this your anger speaking or if this what you really want-to end the marriage.

[Jasman0717 8]

see a lawyer and begin divorce procedings.

Way too much to deal with unless she would, and you also, be interested in counseling.