Is it bad that I want to change my maid of honor?

[L_n_O 3]

Is it possible to successfully change your maid of honor?

Mine's giving me grief. She makes me feel like sh!t about little things all the time

(once I was at her house and prior to getting there she offered to drive me home the next day so I wouldn't have to worry about taking the bus back and so on.. it's a 20 min drive.

Well the next day arrives, and she throws a fit about how because she has to drive me home now, she isn't going to spend the rest of the nite with her common-law bf.. and they never get to hang out in the house.. and it's so inconvenient ...

so what ended up happening was one of her friends WHO I HAD NEVER MET PRIOR TO THAT DAY drove me home)

*this has happened about 5 or 6 times in recent memory...ie, the "it's a hassle now" part

Last week was the bridal show. We made plans to go. The night before, she calls and says she can only come from 5pm to 6 pm because she's got a birthday to go to after.

Nice. I went to the bridal show by myself at 4, she showed up at 5, she left at 6, and I was alone again til 8.

She called from the car (probably feeling guilty b/c of leaving) to say that since I'm leaving soon, we should probably go bridesmaid dress shopping in the near future. She asked that I email her all the dates when I am available to go shopping. I did that the next night. Four or five days go by, I don't hear anything from her. I call and leave a voicemail telling her that I emailed her those dates. She calls me back (voicemail) to tell me "I don't have time to check my email, can you tell me the dates on the phone? Thanks."

So now we're supposed to go bridesmaid dress shopping next saturday. She's got another time constraint on that day b/c once again she's got to go to another party and get her drink on.... <insert sigh here>

And she actually had the audacity to suggest today that what about if she and one of the other bridesmaids went out and picked their dresses themselves. Like without me involved with it at all... I just politely said "uh, I think I should kinda be there for that"

Regret. so much regret

Edited October 5, 2007 by liz_legend 'n Ol

[DeadPoolX 9]

One question: Who is the Maid of Honor? What I mean is, who is she in relation to you and your fiance? The reason I ask is because if she's a family member (particularly, a family member on his side), it might cause even more problems to ditch her for someone else.

If she's not related to you (or will be related to you after the wedding), then you can make the decision entirely on your own. Obviously, if she's a friend, she may not be one anymore if you exchange her for someone else, but at least you wouldn't be causing problems within your family or your new husband's family either.

[Jasman0717 9]

One question: Who is the Maid of Honor? What I mean is, who is she in relation to you and your fiance? The reason I ask is because if she's a family member (particularly, a family member on his side), it might cause even more problems to ditch her for someone else.

If she's not related to you (or will be related to you after the wedding), then you can make the decision entirely on your own. Obviously, if she's a friend, she may not be one anymore if you exchange her for someone else, but at least you wouldn't be causing problems within your family or your new husband's family either.

Good luck

[L_n_O 3]

She's a friend of mine ( I've known her for 2 years)

And I really shouldn't have made that decision within a week of getting engaged

I dread the thought of her speech b/c I don't know what she would say!! She doesn't really know me all that well like my other since-highschool-friend bridesmaid... (who unfortunately lives out of town, Ottawa)

She's just really self-centered and my fiancee, Oliver isn't really the biggest fan of her either

[Sinergy 3]

a maid of honor is someone you shouldve chose wisely, you get what you ask for. also, this is your wedding not hers, she does not have to show up to everything if she has already made plans ahead of time to be somewhere else. she did go to the bridal show with you, you cant be mad at her for showing up an hour late and leaving after an hour. again this is your wedding.

if youve only known her 2 yrs and obviously your not real keen on her, then it wont be hard to tell her what you feel about her being your maid of honor

i didnt attach my maid of honor to me everywhere i went, it was my wedding, i was responsible for showing up at places, not her. and well, my wedding came out better than i imagined.

Edited October 5, 2007 by Ionescu

[almaty 19]

she sounds like a chopf##k..who will want to be the center of attention..dump her

[Sinergy 3]

she sounds like a chopf##k..who will want to be the center of attention..dump her

bro dean shes not trying to be center of attention, shes not even around

[almaty 19]

no sister tara, at the wedding..i see her trying to grandstand...

[Sinergy 3]

no sister tara, at the wedding..i see her trying to grandstand...

thats my point to what i said to her, if shes so self centered and obviously liz doesnt like her that much, it wont be hard to say "hey, you suck, you not in my wedding"

sorry i guess im more outspoken

[almaty 19]

no sister tara, at the wedding..i see her trying to grandstand...

thats my point to what i said to her, if shes so self centered and obviously liz doesnt like her that much, it wont be hard to say "hey, you suck, you not in my wedding"

sorry i guess im more outspoken

sister tara, that is why you are my bff..you lay it on the table

[Sinergy 3]

no sister tara, at the wedding..i see her trying to grandstand...

thats my point to what i said to her, if shes so self centered and obviously liz doesnt like her that much, it wont be hard to say "hey, you suck, you not in my wedding"

sorry i guess im more outspoken

sister tara, that is why you are my bff..you lay it on the table

indeed bro dean indeed

Liz seriously, tell her you have decided to make someone else your maid of honor, you dont need to give a reason. its not important to give a reason, again ITS YOUR WEDDING.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

It's your wedding. You choose who you are comfortable with. If she makes a big deal out of it, tell her to stuff it.

Piece of wisdom: You will know who your friends are when you need them.

Now ask yourself, is she your friend?

[Sinergy 3]

I have a thought.

give her a simple task, like i dunno filling little bottles with bubble juice (i dunno, i know rice will blow birds up and birdseed is messy i had bubbles at my wedding) anywho, if she cant do that one simple thing, and i have a feeling she wont, then you tell her " i need a maid of honor to do one thing for me as im doing the rest and you couldnt do it, im sorry but i will need to relinquish you of your duty as maid of honor" after that you will know that she is or is not your real friend. if she can get that done, give her something else small to do, but dont give her much, and dont expect much outta her.

i still think you should find someone else, but atleast this way your giving her the benefit of the doubt without telling her she sucks first

Edited October 5, 2007 by Ionescu

[MissStacey 1]

Drop her.

She sounds like a person you're not going to regret not having in your life anymore.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

she sounds like a chopf##k..who will want to be the center of attention..dump her

Get rid of her! its that simple.