Trust in a Relationship....

[Jasman0717 9]

How can there be a relationship without trust?

[Caladan 19]

Are we talking about personal relationships here? Business relationships, no trust needed, that's why God invented contracts.

Sorry, I thought since I talked about my SO that I was specifying trust in your romantic relationship.

Yeah, I thought that's what you were going, except that I can't imagine someone arguing that they don't trust their SO. (They might not, but I can't see many admitting it.) So I was wondering if you meant to extend it past romantic relationships.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Trust is fluid. I trust my doctor with my health, but I wouldn't necessarily trust him with my house. I trust my car with my life everyday I drive, but I wouldn't marry it. With marriage, a basic trust (along with honesty) in each other lays the ground work to be able to withstand the trials of marriage. Little things can gnaw away at that trust - such as a wife asking her husband to pick up her clothes from the cleaners and he forgets. He might be a terrific husband who loves her loyally, but he just sucks at remembering things. Can she trust him with getting to the cleaners without her constantly reminding him? Probably not. Does that make the marriage not work...I don't think so. In fact, I think later on after being married for several years, such things will be found to be endearing as both of them will be able to look back at him never remembering to go to the cleaners for her, laugh and tell him he's such a forgetful fool (affectionately of course).

I think that's a different kind of trust that borders on knowing your partner and his/her weaknesses...can I trust him to not forget to go to the cleaners? would not be a question I would hinge a successful marriage on.

What I'm really getting at is trust with the big things....to be faithful (if that's your arrangement...some might differ), with having your back, always being there, and NOT lying to you, etc.

Could you marry someone you felt was lying to you?

Ohhh, fidelity? Ah, ok. Sorry. Of course.

I always think about Christie Brinkley's ordeal - when she was stuck in some remote place with this other guy (she was married to Billy Joel at the time). How many people would remain faithful if they survived a helicopter crash with Christie Brinkley? Not many.

[Fandango 1,440]

Are we talking about personal relationships here? Business relationships, no trust needed, that's why God invented contracts.

Sorry, I thought since I talked about my SO that I was specifying trust in your romantic relationship.

Yeah, I thought that's what you were going, except that I can't imagine someone arguing that they don't trust their SO. (They might not, but I can't see many admitting it.) So I was wondering if you meant to extend it past romantic relationships.

Sadly, I've been reading plenty on here that say just that.

In fact one says 'all <insert country here> are liars' And the petitioner's SO is from said country.

Mind you, there are others...but that's the most recent which springs to mind.

Ohhh, fidelity? Ah, ok. Sorry. Of course.

I always think about Christie Brinkley's ordeal - when she was stuck in some remote place with this other guy (she was married to Billy Joel at the time). How many people would remain faithful if they survived a helicopter crash with Christie Brinkley? Not many.

You raise a good point, but I can still say I feel D would remain faithful in that instance.

But it's not just physical fidelity. What about verbal? Could you marry someone who lies to you?

[Caladan 19]

Oh, I just assume they've never bothered to examine their prejudices, not that they don't want trust.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Are we talking about personal relationships here? Business relationships, no trust needed, that's why God invented contracts.

Sorry, I thought since I talked about my SO that I was specifying trust in your romantic relationship.

Yeah, I thought that's what you were going, except that I can't imagine someone arguing that they don't trust their SO. (They might not, but I can't see many admitting it.) So I was wondering if you meant to extend it past romantic relationships.

Sadly, I've been reading plenty on here that say just that.

In fact one says 'all <insert country here> are liars' And the petitioner's SO is from said country.

Mind you, there are others...but that's the most recent which springs to mind.

Ohhh, fidelity? Ah, ok. Sorry. Of course.

I always think about Christie Brinkley's ordeal - when she was stuck in some remote place with this other guy (she was married to Billy Joel at the time). How many people would remain faithful if they survived a helicopter crash with Christie Brinkley? Not many.

You raise a good point, but I can still say I feel D would remain faithful in that instance.

But it's not just physical fidelity. What about verbal? Could you marry someone who lies to you?

Show me a couple who's never told a lie to one another and I'll show you two liars. There are of course, varying degrees of lying, but yes, I think it's a given that truthfulness is necessary for successful marriage. Some marriages anchor on truthiness.

[Peikko 1,575]

The kind of trust Lisa is probably talking about is the kind I would imagine most successful relationships are built on. The people she has seen who make the comments she alludes to are one of two things, either they love their spouse and trust them, but for some reason don't understand the country of origin and therefore mostly despise their spouses countrymen, or they have some other agenda than a lasting relationship...or I guess they could just be very, very ignorant.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I trust Bren as a fallible, perfectly imperfect human being - and I love every part of that imperfection. I guess it's more about acceptance - neither of us is always in his/her best.

I do not , however, trust him with showing up on time.

[Jamie76 0]

I trust my fiancee completely. I wouldn't be marrying her if I didn't.

Is this post in response to the pre-nup post?

[Mags 112]

I completely trust my husband within our relationship.

However, I don't trust him to not keep bringing home more bikes. I'm currently sitting in a room with 4 of the buggars.

[Ban Hammer 14,267]

I completely trust my husband within our relationship.

However, I don't trust him to not keep bringing home more bikes. I'm currently sitting in a room with 4 of the buggars.

bikes? what happened to tools?

[Mags 112]

I completely trust my husband within our relationship.

However, I don't trust him to not keep bringing home more bikes. I'm currently sitting in a room with 4 of the buggars.

bikes? what happened to tools?

Oh the tools are still around, as are the computer parts, it's just that bikes are harder to "hide". They tend to be rather big. *sighs*

Mags,

who honestly didn't just trip over a bike to get into the desk chair.

[Ban Hammer 14,267]

I completely trust my husband within our relationship.

However, I don't trust him to not keep bringing home more bikes. I'm currently sitting in a room with 4 of the buggars.

bikes? what happened to tools?

Oh the tools are still around, as are the computer parts, it's just that bikes are harder to "hide". They tend to be rather big. *sighs*

Mags,

who honestly didn't just trip over a bike to get into the desk chair.

are we talking the kind you pedal or what?

post pics of the bikes on your homepage

[JVKn'CVO 11]

How important is trust to you in a relationship? Could you marry your SO while thinking (s)he's a liar?

For me, if I didn't trust D with my life, we wouldn't be getting married. Hell, we wouldn't be in an LDR. It's the foundation for everything, and without trust, there's nothing.

It boggles my mind how people will sell themselves short and marry people that they don't trust at all.

What about you?

I think trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Along with respect, love, communication, and general compatibility…and I would never marry someone I didn’t trust. Still I think that there is always a little bit of a risk with marriage (there can never be any warranties that it will work out), and all we can do is put your best foot forward and hope for the best…nothing ventured, nothing gained, that is life, right?

Saludos,

Caro

[Fandango 1,440]

Show me a couple who's never told a lie to one another and I'll show you two liars. There are of course, varying degrees of lying, but yes, I think it's a given that truthfulness is necessary for successful marriage. Some marriages anchor on truthiness.

I'm not talking about the occasional lie with possible mitigating circs....but one whom you would brand a 'liar'.

Although, I'm trying to think of a time that I ever lied to D and honestly, I can't think of one. And there has never been a time where I've either caught D in a lie, or he's fessed up to a lie. Hrmm, I'mma start a poll.

The kind of trust Lisa is probably talking about is the kind I would imagine most successful relationships are built on. The people she has seen who make the comments she alludes to are one of two things, either they love their spouse and them, but for some reason don't understand the country of origin and therefore mostly despise their spouses countrymen, or they have some other agenda than a lasting relationship...or I guess they could just be very, very ignorant.

I think it could also be that they are 'settling' for someone as opposed to THE ONE.

If I could say 'All Brits are liars, they are born to lie, and D is a liar too'....i would never.marry.him.

And I also think that if I can't trust someone, I can't respect them. So I'd never marry someone I don't trust nor respect.