Thanks a lot!!!

[cebuanagirl 0]

Hello, i am so glad and thankful to everyone. Okay now, i read all those messages posted, and am gonna try to answer those questions the best I can. Maybe yea, I am stupid too not using my head but I didn't really expect and besides I believe co'z he is a christian (born again) and also while i'm in the Philippines I knew few people from his church and I even talked to them, but again we couldn't assure still. Well, "regrets never come it first". Anyway, I don't want allow myself just being like this, but here I am, was tried and tried to find way, there was a time he was working so the time it's all mine but he hides my passport, while he's not home and am alone i tried to ask him please tell me where did you put my passport since you are not here i'm going to visit my friend, he said nooo, what if they are asking you to have group sex, oh my God! i can't believe he said that, so i couldn't, my mind just always thinking what am gonna do, what am gonna do how many times, I even trying to knock the door's neighbors if there is anybody want cleaning, they are just lauhing at me, and then I walk back home and realized, of course, they don't trust me to go inside their house since they don't even know me, they might think that am just gonna steal. So when he came back from his work, i find my passport and found it and hide it until now. Now, he was scheduled for his work and he was asking my passport and I never give him, he said I'm not going to work if you didn't give me your passport and I never did, from that until now he is with me. So, another argument happened, i opened up, i said do you remember when you told me that be very careful the money to spend? I didn't spend myself even a dime because I know also how much we have left. I didn't intentionally to read the bank statement and was glanced it a massage thing, and i read the details and I tried to find if it's true he spend it, so i called the bank and told me, this is authorized mam, and now i tried to find contact number online about the massage place, and the director told me yea he been here, what am gonna supposed to think if that is only scam or not of that. I said to him how dare you to do that? and he denied it, i donno it's a scam or not. But this argument turn to fire, and was about to call 911 and he grab the phone from my hands and threw, the phone was breaking up and I was so scared, what I did is I was trying to go out and was thinking go to the neighbor's house ask favor to use their phone, but he's blocking the door, I tried to run the other door, he's blocking, and i said to him please let me go out, am so scared, was shaking. And he was holding me tight and he said be calm,and was still trying to run. He told me then, i am sorry, don't worry everything's okay. I really value marriage and I didn't want either it's failed but I don't understand. When we were in the counseling, an old prayer warrior woman in the church, I was telling everything and he insists that's not true, that's not true, I can't believe you're saying that, ohhh my.....i felt like I was the one who lied and just making stories, one thing I surrender too. Another thing, when I was in phone, he disconnect the line, can't talk anymore....

About this question, about working prior for coming here! absolutely YES! He even told me, if you want to manage this business you can if you want. And I said of course I wanna work, i'm workaholic! I told him I don't want just stay home because time for me is precious, we can't turn the time back, "IF I COULD".

Well, i think this is not the end of the world yet... I can survive!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna say thanks also for those who called women for faith & family, and given me those shelter ones.

Thanks a lot, I emailed to them already and it seems like she's gonna help me.

We are in sacramento, california

Where i'm in cebu? heart of the city (jakosalem st)

Again to everyone, thanks a lot!!! a very big help for me!!! and thanks for that ( go to VAWA thing, I may qualify) it's alright ....

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I hope you will be safe and can get the help you need.

It sounds like you know what the right thing to do is and have the wisdom to get out of that situation.

Take care!

[MarieandBryan 0]

Wow! You are such a brave woman! I salute you for that, despite everything that is happening right now you are still with him.

Anyways, just being very cautious all the times. Am not being judgemental here but your husbands's actions do really scared me, you might not know what he will do next...

By the way, I have a friend in Sacramento, CA. I am going to ask her, if it will be ok with her if I am going to give you her email add or YM ID. Am just thinking that at least, you will know a fellow Pinay there, incase, God forbid worst comes to worst , that is if you don't have any Pinay friend there yet. She is also from Cebu.

Am a Cebuana too but am here in Texas.

Continue being strong...

Marie

[archie07 0]

Wow! You are such a brave woman! I salute you for that, despite everything that is happening right now you are still with him.

Anyways, just being very cautious all the times. Am not being judgemental here but your husbands's actions do really scared me, you might not know what he will do next...

By the way, I have a friend in Sacramento, CA. I am going to ask her, if it will be ok with her if I am going to give you her email add or YM ID. Am just thinking that at least, you will know a fellow Pinay there, incase, God forbid worst comes to worst , that is if you don't have any Pinay friend there yet. She is also from Cebu.

Am a Cebuana too but am here in Texas.

Continue being strong...

Marie

Very good idea, this woman can certainly use a friend. What a mess she is in. The husband sounds super paranoid to me. She needs to delete her history also on that computor. It sounds like he's holding her hostage. I hope she is safe and calls your friend.

[SM&LP 0]

Cebuanagirl,

I do hope those people can give you a hand. Please let us know if you are ok.

[SM&LP 0]

Cebuana, it is me again,

I left you a message with this info, but in case someone needed for future information: http://www.gabrielproject.com/contacts.htm.

Gabriel Project is a programm intended to help mothers that are in crisis due to an unplannned pregnancy. It helps mothers spiritual, material and emotionally during and after pregnancy.

[Caladan 19]

Valuing marriage is one thing, but valuing marriage doesn't mean you need to put up with someone being abusive and trying to hold you hostage.

I swear that the I-129F needs a psychological exam for some of the petitioners. ("Are you a jerk looking for someone to control? Buy a RealDoll.")

cebuanagirl, you are very strong, but please remember to take care of yourself, too. You can work on the marriage, and it's good that you're getting counseling, but holding you prisoner in your home is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. I don't care what kind of religion he tries to dress it up in. That's not good behavior.

[vsmtghdy 2]

Cebuanagirl,

You're in a very unstable relationship and from your story, I think the counseling will not work for both of you since he's still in denial about the things he is doing with you. I know the value of family and marriage, but staying in that marriage will be unhealthy for you and your baby. You're in an emotional/psychological abusive situation and only God knows when it will come to physical abuse... don't wait until it happens. This is not going to be a good (healthy) environment for your baby. You already have tell-tale signs of what he is and what he is capable of doing (you're a hostage in your own house). He is not treating you as his wife. I know how much we want to try to make things right and hoping everything will still turn up well, but sometimes this does not happen and although letting go is never easy, sometimes it is the right thing to do. You may have to learn to accept and let go, not for your sake but for your baby's safety and future. Hope you can get in touch with any of those shelters that VJ members shared with you.

There are Filipino Communities in Sacramento, and try to call or go there for help.

ROMAN CATHOLIC DIOCESE OF SACRAMENTO

2110 Broadway, Sacramento, CA 95818

Phone 916.733.0100 Fax 916.733.0195

> they have a Filipino Apostolate

Filipino Community Of Sacramento

8289 Calla Way, Sacramento, CA 95828-5766

Phone: (916) 482-5941

Filipino-American Evangelical

7901 Stevenson Ave, Sacramento, CA 95828

(916) 399-9484

Rancho Cordova

Sacramento CA 95670

email: info@ranchopinoy.com

> Rancho Pinoy is a non-profit organization of Filipino-Americans drawn together by prayer, work, and the commitment to serve one another, the larger community, and especially the less fortunate, in the spirit of solidarity and compassion.

My mother is also from Cebu (Mandaue). Sacramento is about 3 hours from where I live.

Be strong! Be healthy! Keep your faith! God Bless!

[akatagirl 0]

Cebuangirl,

I worry for your safety and I think you need to carefully figure out your next steps to be free of your fiance and get to a safe place for you and the sake of your unborn child.

Catholic Charities is a nonprofit organization that am sure can help you:

Here is the info www.diocese-sacramento.org

They can offer immigration advice and a safe place for you to be.

Try contacting these places also and maybe they offer support or additional places for you to get in contact with.

- filipino-american chamber of commerce in your area

1401 El Camino Avenue, Suite 410-M

Sacramento, CA 95815

contact@filipinochamber.com

Filipino American Community Services Agency

(510) 523-1129- this place is kind of far from where you are but hopefully they can offer some contacts in your area.

I found this info from this website:

http://www.projectpull.org/barangay/directory/com.html

Also check this website out to see if you can seek immigration advice-maybe you contact some lawyers who will give you some advice for free or at a low price-

http://www.ilw.com/govttimes/processingtim...ct=SacramentoCA

As another vjer mentioned, please don't forget to erase your history on the computer you use since the man your with seems very abusive and paranoid about your every move.

I pray to god to he keeps you safe and that you find a quick way to get out of the terrible situation that you are in now. Please when you can keep us posted cause I know I will be worrying about your safety.

Take Care and you will be in my prayers in and thoughts.

[lirachadsbaby 0]

he is soo paranoid. continue to be brave. im so proud of u!

I have a friend also in Sacramento.

cebuana here.

Edited August 25, 2007 by lirachadsbaby

[Sand 5]

Let me say something about ur husband, he's not crazy . but he's Unreliable

well just be careful and take care of urself ..

[spidergirl 0]

Hi Cebuanagirl, im a filipina too and im so sorry for what you are going through right now i wish i could help you. Try to Contact this they are professionals and they exist to help filipinos in USA.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Tel. nos.: (1-800) 799-7233

(1-800) 787-3224

Fax no.: (512) 453-8541

E-mail address: ndvh@ndvh.org

Phil. Mission to the United Nations

556 Fifth Avenue., New York

New York; 10038, USA

Tel. No. (212) 764-1300

Fax No. (212) 840-8602

E-mail address : misunphil@aol.com

webpage : www.un.int/philippines

Philippine Consulate General

556 Fifth Avenue, new York

NY 10036-5095, USA

Tel. Nos. (212) 7641330, 545774, 3821146

Fax. No. (212) 382-1146

Webpage http://www.pcgny.net

Email : philconsulateny@mindspring.com

Family Violence Prevention Fund

383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304

San Francisco, CA 94103-5133

Phone: (415)252-8991

Website : www.fvpf.org.

One thing: if he hits you go to the police immediately

[cebuanagirl 0]

Wow! You are such a brave woman! I salute you for that, despite everything that is happening right now you are still with him.

Anyways, just being very cautious all the times. Am not being judgemental here but your husbands's actions do really scared me, you might not know what he will do next...

By the way, I have a friend in Sacramento, CA. I am going to ask her, if it will be ok with her if I am going to give you her email add or YM ID. Am just thinking that at least, you will know a fellow Pinay there, incase, God forbid worst comes to worst , that is if you don't have any Pinay friend there yet. She is also from Cebu.

Am a Cebuana too but am here in Texas.

Continue being strong...

Mari

Hi Marie, thanks..... can I ask the email add of your friend? thank you......

[cebuanagirl 0]

Wow! You are such a brave woman! I salute you for that, despite everything that is happening right now you are still with him.

Anyways, just being very cautious all the times. Am not being judgemental here but your husbands's actions do really scared me, you might not know what he will do next...

By the way, I have a friend in Sacramento, CA. I am going to ask her, if it will be ok with her if I am going to give you her email add or YM ID. Am just thinking that at least, you will know a fellow Pinay there, incase, God forbid worst comes to worst , that is if you don't have any Pinay friend there yet. She is also from Cebu.

Am a Cebuana too but am here in Texas.

Continue being strong...

Mari

Hi Marie, thanks..... can I ask the email add of your friend? thank you......

Can you give my email to her? it's - philusgirl@yahoo.com, thank you Marie...... take care

he is soo paranoid. continue to be brave. im so proud of u!

I have a friend also in Sacramento.

cebuana here.

hello, thanks... can you give my email to your friend here? it's philusgirl@yahoo.com, thank you and take care....

[pinay 0]

hi if you attended the cfo seminar in the philippines and you listen on the seminar, you will know what to do. its so easy give a call to the numbers given to us during the cfo seminar. if you will say you cant because your phone was disconnected by your husband then go to the payphone, dont tell me even 50 cents you dont have. you can even email the philippine embassy too and tell whats going on with you. believe me they will do some action right away. if its true that the practitioner gave you the wrong pills? then what kind of pills was you taking that you thought its the birth control pills? if that really happened, you could file a complaint against the practitioner or the clinic who gave you the wrong pills. its hard for me to believe they will really made mistake about that. im also a filipina, i dont work, i dont have money too. my husband is not rich, we are in too much financial difficulties. infact we cant afford to pay the civil surgeon for my medical so theres a big chance my aos will be denied. but i dont insist to work and argue with my husband about that. after all i did not marry him just so i could work here. if your story is really true,then the only way for you to get out of misery is call the philippine embassy and ask help from them. because i know if your marriage did not work and you get divorce with your husband but your immigration thing is still not done then i guess you will be send home. i guess you dont want to be send home, i mean to our country. also about your husband being married twice that you dont know...dont he gave you divorce papers while still doingthe visa process? if not, then he lied.he will be in trouble with the immigration because of that. you could complain about that too. theres a lot of things you could do. if you cant use the phone, i surely can tell you could use the pc. you could always email philippine embassy. hope you will be ok...