I dunno what to do...

[wong_watkins 1]

This morning b4 I go to work I got on the computer and my husband's MSN was signed on. I saw there were a few new emails in his mailbox so I got curious and opened them(I know that's wrong...)...and I happened to find out that he has a MySpace Account, and that he's been talking to this girl named Trina and he was telling her about how much fun he had with her on the past weekend(and the date on that mail was during me being in Hong Kong visiting my family)...and he also said that he would have to go see her again...he was asking her for her phone number so he could call her....

I know I was wrong for "peeking" at his mails but now I found this out I don't even know if I should be worried...I really dunno what to do...should I even confront him because he has a really bad temper problem I can't even tell him anything he will go nuts...

I really dunno what to do!!!

[JoeMama 0]

Did you get the e-mail address of the lady? Write her a letter and tell her your his wife and you know what's going on. She'll probably message your husband about it. He'll know he was busted!

Do what you think is best.

[Carlawarla 1]

I haven't seen your postings in quite some time wong, but glad to see that you're back. I remember you from earlier postings in the Canada forum. I also remember you having some concerns about your relationship, as well as your husband's anger management issue. After reading this post, I'm saddened, but more worried about your safety given previous posts. Has he gone to counselling since you previously posted? Do you have a safe place to stay? I'm concerned that if you bring this transgression up to him, without a safety plan, you may be in danger. I don't know what you want to do with this information you've now gotten. It sounds like, despite your being back in the US, he'd still like to meet up again with this woman Trina. Do you want to save your marriage? Do you want to leave? Hoping you can provide more information. In the interim, please take care of you.

Carla

Edited July 5, 2007 by cartoboy123

[TracyTN 237]

It technically wasn't right for you to read his emails, but what he's doing is way worse than that. I know two wrongs don't make a right and all, but still.

I'd confront him about it pronto. But that's just me.

[broma25 2]

I would pack up my belongings AND cats and leave!!!

[Ban Hammer 14,164]

It technically wasn't right for you to read his emails, but what he's doing is way worse than that. I know two wrongs don't make a right and all, but still.

I'd confront him about it pronto. But that's just me.

given some of the stuff i've seen her post in the past about him, that might not be a good idea.....

[Nessa 23]

Bad idea checking your husband's e-mail. Don't you wish now you haven't done that? I would confront my husband, but then again, he doesn't have an anger problem.

I don't have any good advice, just take care of yourself and good luck

[Fandango 1,440]

I wouldn't involve the girl...I'd go straight to the source.

Did you screencap it or print it? ....what if he just is all 'i dunno what you're talking about' and then blames it on a language barrier?

GOOD LUCK!

[Sinergy 3]

Bad idea checking your husband's e-mail. Don't you wish now you haven't done that? I would confront my husband, but then again, he doesn't have an anger problem.

I don't have any good advice, just take care of yourself and good luck

What do you mean "dont you wish you havent done that now?" so shes supossed to stay blind to her husband cheating on her?

And i see nothing wrong with checking hubbys emails, me and my husband check eachothers all the time..why? bc we have nothing to hide from eachother. If you have nothing to hide, then you wont mind your "spouse" checking your email.

[Nessa 23]

She went after trouble. Now she doesn't know how to deal with it. Some people actually prefer to be blind rather than finding out they're being betrayed. I don't know if that's her case or not.

My husband and I don't have each other's e-mail password, not because we have anything to hide, but it is private. We trust each other that much.

[Fandango 1,440]

She went after trouble. Now she doesn't know how to deal with it. Some people actually prefer to be blind rather than finding out they're being betrayed. I don't know if that's her case or not.

My husband and I don't have each other's e-mail password, not because we have anything to hide, but it is private. We trust each other that much.

wouldn't pure trust mean you have the passwords, but just don't have the need to use them?

.

[smoke20 0]

i would confront him on it. i've not read any of your post about his anger issues, but its clear your physically afraid of him. have an out ready.....meaning a way out of the house. set it up so you have a clear path to an unlocked door, so you can get out if he turns angry...physical towards you. i would also set up a place you can stay if it goes bad. talk w/ a girlfriend tell her whats up. you gotta call him on this. if for nothing else, your piece of mind.

maybe you weren't right to check his email. but, he was very wrong to betray you & your trust, and plan to do it again.

i would demand the myspace be shut down also.

good luck & sorry to hear this.

[Sinergy 3]

She went after trouble. Now she doesn't know how to deal with it. Some people actually prefer to be blind rather than finding out they're being betrayed. I don't know if that's her case or not.

My husband and I don't have each other's e-mail password, not because we have anything to hide, but it is private. We trust each other that much.

She wasnt looking for trouble she was just curious. Just bc someone checks their spouses email doesnt mean they are looking for trouble. And if you choose to be blind rather than know if your being betrayed or not, fine, but dont make her feel worse by telling her "bet you wish you hadnt done that now huh". And just bc you dont check eachothers email doesnt constitute as "oh i trust him so i wont give him my pass word", Just like my husband asks every morning, "can you check my mail to see if my cousin emailed me" is just as much trust.

My main issue was what you said to the girl, shes already upset enough, making her feel like ####### for opening his email was uncalled for. as if your one to judge!

[tmma 467]

She went after trouble. Now she doesn't know how to deal with it. Some people actually prefer to be blind rather than finding out they're being betrayed. I don't know if that's her case or not.

My husband and I don't have each other's e-mail password, not because we have anything to hide, but it is private. We trust each other that much.

Clearly she does not "prefer to be blind"; as proven by her taking the chance handed to her to check his mail in the first place. I am not sure anyone would know in the first instance how to deal with it, until they have had a chance to think it over and figure out a way.

To the OP-Only you know how to approach this, as only YOU know how your husband is......However me, personally, I would screen cap and print it now.....Then try later when I am calm to confront him..... But that's just me.

Best of Luck and be careful!

Edited July 5, 2007 by tmma

[Nessa 23]

I'm not judging anyone nor trying to make her feel worse. She posted this looking for advice. If she didn't want to read people's opinion she wouldn't post this thread on a public forum.