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Question about ROC with Divorce waiver? (Split)

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Hello. I’m quite on the same situation right now. I filed i751 removal of my conditions as joint with my spouse October 2017. However before that we already had physical fights. I have photos and counseling session. I needed to go because I had to take a leave of absence from work and I was advised to get counseling session by my work company. I actually mainly went bec I was out from work for 3 weeks bec of what happened between me and my

husband. We had many ups and downs. The big physical fight we had bec he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs bec of

his depression as his acting career went downhill and can’t book any jobs. He would always even blame that since we got married bad luck started happening to him. Ofcourse I don’t believe that as what my therapist said abusive people always try to make you think everything is your fault. Anyhow we would get back together and separate and get back together. Only bec sometimes he’s sober and tryin to make our marriage work and promises to change. Physical violent fight started happening September 2016 then it stopped then happened agian dec 2016. After that mostly when we’re fighthing is just verbal abuse. Also he’s very bipolar. Sometimes I give him my adderal ((((I buy it from someone I know but I don’t have prescription ; I take it to feel emotionless and focus at work; my husband had made such a huge negative impact on my mental and emotional well being that I need the substance to get up from bed and go to work))))

to calm down and have sound judgment. . (He used to have adderal prescription before when he was a kid but he was refused by the psychiatrist he recently went to June 2017 because he’s under the impression of substance abuse). Long story short, I was still able to file joint petition bec he was sober, however I got a notice for interview and we just recently fought again this time about money, that he removed his name on our joint bank account and opened his own bank account. He has this erratic behavior that when he’s mad he doesn’t have sound judgment anymore. Right now he told me he won’t go to the interview and we can just get divorced, but in California it takes 6 months to get a final decree which I wouldn’t have if even id be given 87 daya

RFE for it.  


I was thinking should I go to the interview alone , and convert to an abuse waiver and I will also file a divorce too. But I’m thinking maybe I have a higher chance of not being denied if I go to convert to an abuse waiver. Is that even a thing? Since most of my evidences are actually bout counseling sessions photos of bruises, his drug overdose medical record, and his psychiatric medical record when he went to a doctor to try to get adderal. 


The only evidences we had were taxes filed jointly 2015,2017,2018. 2016 was filed separately just bec that’s when I thought there’s no chance of reconciliation. I also sent health insurance card. We don’t have joint assets or even car. I have a car lease which isn’t even under my name. We don’t have common residency (we couldn’t afford it since he couldn’t book any acting jobs) I’m a flight attendant and whenever im in town I stay at my old place for free where I help with errands for the old couple who owns the place. My

husbans used to

stay there before but never changed his address bec

he wants immediate access



mails which we don’t have. Only the old couple has access to mails and just hand it to me all the time. So the problem is we don’t even share same address. When I’m not in town my husband keeps residency in another address where he house sits and he get to stay in the guest house for free so all his mails go there. ( I couldn’t however put that address as my main address or even move my stuff there permanently bec the owner doesn’t like a Couple to stay there) anyway im a flight attendant pretty much living in a suitcase so it Doesn’t  matter to me. I stay with him whenever i can and also when the owner of the house he house sits is out of town.) pretty much we handle our finances separately too bec

right now

im the only one with a stable

job and don’t even earn enough money. And before he uses it to buy drugs so since then I refuse to

share my earnings.

so we pretty much  live our marriage life like a bf and gf who handles their own finances. I know my story is very long about the reasons why we don’t have much of the evidences USCIS want to see in a normal marriage,

but it is how we

handled our marriage. But right now I can’t do it anymore specially he knew I need him for the interview and he refuses, which I’m so over with that I’m so tired tryin and tolerating his erratic mood swings and I agreed to just get a divorce too Since I can’t really even rely on him anymore. If only I could tell USCIS that for all the things I’ve been through with my husband I think it’s just right for me to actually just focus on myself now and save myself from being placed to removal proceedings. I know they might think why I didn’t leave him the soonest possible. Answer is simple. I’m young and naive and fell in love and no matter how embarrassing to admit, I was manipulated into thinking I won’t find anybody else anymore. (Narcissistic behavior of an abuser). I’m so over everything and the mental and emotional impact he had cause me that there are times I don’t even care anymore about my status. But Ofcourse I want to rebuild my life agian, go back to school and focus on myself that’s why I want to stay here. I was an international student before never out of status when I married my husband, but things went to the opposite direction and didn’t turn out the way I want my marriage to be. I tried to own up to my decision marrying and keeping us together but it just seems not working at all.


Please give me an insight on how I should proceed with my case. I can’t really even afford a lawyer as I live paycheck to paycheck.


Edited by Unlockable
removed old quoted thread

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*** Hijacked post split from other thread. Please do not hijack other member's threads. You are free to start you own topic.


VJ Moderation

“When starting an immigration journey, the best advice is to understand that sacrifices have to be made... whether it is time, money, or separation; or a combination of all.” - Unlockable

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As sorry as I am about your situation, and I also understand that you want to tell your story, having such a long post with mostly personal information makes it difficult to determine what your questions are exactly.. 


What are your immigration questions so we can hopefully help?




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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China

didn't finish reading because it's too long.


Could you post specific & concise questions regarding immigration? Or are your just sharing your story and seeking emotional support? If it's the latter you may have come to the wrong forum.

ROC Timeline

01/02/2019: I-751 delivered to USCIS (Texas)

01/08/2019: check cashed & online status show "case received"

03/02/2019: 18-month extension letter received (LIN)

08/02/2019: biometrics letter received

08/23/2019: biometrics appointment

11/04/2019: approval letter received

11/05/2019: online status changed to "card in production"

11/07/2019: card received ✌️😊

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Filed: Timeline
10 hours ago, Unlockable said:

*** Hijacked post split from other thread. Please do not hijack other member's threads. You are free to start you own topic.


VJ Moderation

Wouldn't this be better in the Effects subforum? as they are asking about ROC with abuse waiver mainly.

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