Would appreciate any advice!

[Princess7 0]

Hi all, it makes me happy to see how we all help each other on this forum!

I would like to share with you something that keep happening with me on a regular basis and it makes me very upset and sometimes it leaves me with tears.

But I just try to always be optimistic and happy no matter what right? 

Long story short, a year ago I have become a US Citizen through marriage to my US Citizen husband!

Everything went smoothly with the process itself but it takes a long time!

So what really upset me and I would like to share with you is some family members (my husband’s family) are mean to me!

they just don’t like when I visit them and always make fun of the things I say and I feel like they don’t trust me around which makes me very sad!

And after all these years me being here in the US, his family still treat me like I’m an outsider and just disrespectful to me!

One time I had to travel to see my friend in another state for a week, and after I came back from my trip, my sister in law gives me a call and she was really mean on the phone and she accused me of cheating on her brother which is completely false! then I told her that he knows that I went to see my friend and he trust me! But she kept yelling and didn’t care! and she kept saying I can’t do that again because she will take away my citizenship and that kinda stuff!

Then I start crying that she might do something! Then my mother in law went to lunch with me the other day and asked me if I’m seeing someone else!!!!

I was like what?!????? Of course not!

So that made me more upset!

But after what happened it just made me not wanting to go visit them at least for a long time!

I’m just lost please give me some advice!

And I’m sorry for the long story!

[Roel 7,193]

Talk to your husband and have him talk to his family.

 

Is he not defending you at all? Is he taking his family's side? You didn't mention that at all and your husband should be an important factor here.

 

If they don't like it when you visit them, then just don't visit them? If my husband family would be abusive to me, I'd honestly just avoid them and block their numbers lol.

[Going through 5,674]

Ok first things first:  They cannot take away your citizenship.  They do not own keys to the country.  So don't let them get into your head about that.

 

I understand your frustration---99% of my husband's family/extended family hates my guts.  Partly because I am a "foreigner".   They used to make disparaging remarks to my face about Canada, being an immigrant, and my religion.  I say "used to" because now I just avoid them entirely unless I'm seeing them at a family function....although I still hear what's said through the grapevine from time to time.  After a few years, you'll find yourself caring less about what they think.  Trust me on that.  You WILL start to care less about their opinion.

 

My husband's aunt accused me of sleeping with another one of my husband's uncles (not her spouse).  All because I sat next to him during a wake, and we get along with each other.  Seriously, that was the entire basis for her accusation.  So, some people are just nuts, keep that in mind as well.  

 

Your husband is caught between a rock and a hard place---his wife and his blood relatives.  I'm sure you've probably already vented to him about your relationship with your inlaws already, and hopefully he can provide you with emotional support but he's always going to be caught in the middle.  Continue to vent to him (or start, if you haven't).  Ask him to speak to his family members on your behalf.  Try not to let their meddling get into the middle of your marriage.  

[debbiedoo 2,339]

My fiance disowned his father when he questioned things about us (they had previous other issues as well though). And it wasn't even anything regarding fidelity. I cant imagine his reaction if they accused me of cheating on him. 

 

Is your husband not standing up to them for you?

 

 

[Princess7 0]

Thank you for the support! 

My husband does side with me but just seem like he doesn’t want to be caught in the middle! I get it

I’m just gonna try to avoid them and move on!

I have to be strong for my daughter and my husband!

I just would like to say that it is so wrong of them to just hate me because I came from another country!

Thank you everyone for the support!

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Just now, Princess7 said:

Thank you for the support! 

My husband does side with me but just seem like he doesn’t want to be caught in the middle! I get it

I’m just gonna try to avoid them and move on!

I have to be strong for my daughter and my husband!

I just would like to say that it is so wrong of them to just hate me because I came from another country!

Thank you everyone for the support!

I would say your husband needs to be strong for his wife and daughter and end the BS....

[Princess7 0]

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Edited November 23, 2018 by Princess7