Regret marrying k1 pinay

[cjmc 10]

Lee&Ana- I am a very lucky man to have found and married Dahlia....we both have learned how to love each other more and more each day, give and take, listening, and understanding your partners position and feelings.

It takes both people to make this work. Ana is certainly the one that is in the disadvantaged position and many people have posted about that, compassion, time and understanding on your part needs to be an investment you make in your future with her, at this point she cannot see this.

True Love is when you give to your partner without expecting anything in return....do you have true love for your wife ??

If you don't have what it takes to make this work, then be a strong man and pay her way back home if that is the only direction she wants to go, you can't force someone to love you or appreciate what you are doing for them. For her, maybe she needs to grow and mature before she is ready for the American way of life....

Just my thoughts....best of luck to both of you !!!

Cheers,

Curt

[cjmc 10]

Good advice Dahlia!

(Say Hi to Curt from me)

Hi Hank !!!!

[Filipina warriors 2]

Has anyone experienced an ungrateful pinay, k1 wife? My wife has stressed me out with waiting for her ead combo card that I have shingles now, which is unbelievable pain. Everything is the end of the world. The Philippines is so great.

She got the combo card today, and I find out about it because she posted on her Facebook about it. No thank you, no I am sorry you are sick, nothing.

She has been asking to go back to the Philippines and I told her to wait until she can work and she can pay for her ticket back. I am not spending any more money on her. She isn't a gold digger and could care less about being a citizen.

She is just a stubborn, immature province girl that cannot be confronted when she does something I dislike. She is the queen of Tampo. A simple comment of how I feel something is lacking on her part turns into days of silent treatment. She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months.

We had no rfe's during fiancé visa or AOS. I am working 2 jobs to support us. We eat Filipino food 24 hours a day. She has a great internet connection and the top of the line pinoy directv package. I have done everything I can to make her comfortable while she is waiting to adjust status. She believes every word that comes out of another pinoy/pinay's mouth as the gospel as opposed to anything I have to say. I even have a good job lined up for her that starts at $14 hour.

No thanks, no compassion, just stress and drama. I think now that she has a travel permit, she needs to work and take a visit back to the Philippines to appreciate what I am trying to do for her. Can she travel with the advance parole before AOS and come back without trouble? I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?

Opinions anyone?

How old is her? And you?

[tyler007 26]

He said earlier 25 and mid 40's so the age is really not a major issue.

[R2B 2]

I am a little curious that how OP knew his wife since she lived in a place without internet.

[Lee&Ana 88]

I'm sorry I have this problem, it probably stems from being an Engineer. People seem stupid to me sometimes, it is easy for me to envision them as ants going about their business and not paying attention to whats going on around them. It is a less desirable trait and I do try to control it most times, however this is not one of them. You do realize that 14 bucks an hour is less then many fast food....I'm sorry...MCjob workers get now right? and if you think $18 an hour is a "plan" lol I have news for you buddy.....you are in your mid 40s and married a 25 year old woman, work it out, if not divorce her so she can get on with her life while she is still young, but above all don't go on a social site and blast everyone's advice after you aired your dirty laundry, we didn't ask about your business, you put it out there.

The problem is that you are young and you think you know it all.

First of all, I would like to know how old you are and how old your wife is?

Secondly, I don't know what things cost in Alabama, therefore I don't go shooting my mouth off about anything in Alabama. For anyone in Las Vegas, let alone a recently arrived immigrant, $14-$18 per hour is great money. We have a low cost of living here and no state income tax. If you are talking about the $15 per hour McDonalds job in Seattle, it means nothing. You obviously read an article on Huffington Post, because a one bedroom apartment in Seattle, where McDonalds workers get $15hr, is $1,900 a month. I know this because my brother lives in, you guessed it, SEATTLE!

Thirdly, how much is your wife making an hour right now? If she is even working. And if it is less than $14 per hour, how do you feel justified in telling me that "you got news for me" buddy?

Fourthly, you say you are an engineer, as if this is supposed to impress someone? You are trying to sound impressive because you are probably a young guy that makes an above average salary. By mentioning it in a post means you are insecure or inadequate in some way and feel the need to proclaim your profession as if it is a badge of honor. Most engineers are good at engineering and nothing else, especially when it comes to social skills or interaction. I would like to know, BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ENGINEER, how much student loan debt you owe MR. Smarty pants? I have zero debt, 2 paid off cars and assets. If you cannot match that then don't try to play Dave Ramsey with me. I am probably working and paying taxes longer than you have been alive.

Fifthly, I am not blasting anyone's advice. I am disagreeing with certain points and agreeing with other points. Just because of your self perceived superiority, you feel the need to go ape on someone with the quoted post, like it doesn't smell when you use the bathroom as opposed to other people.

Sixthly, if you are such an expert on life plans for foreign brides or fiances, why don't you share them with us? After all, you are an ENGINEER, and that is what ENGINEER'S do best.

Seventhly, I suppose in your opinion, anyone who posts on visa journey is airing "dirty laundry" and is "stupid" and your job is to come at them in a very condescending, rude and nasty manner, while beating your chest and claiming you are superior due to your perceived superior job? In your opening comment you clearly state how you have a very bad habit of doing "x", but then decide to go ahead anyway because you feel I am misinformed, inept etc. You give away any credibility by doing that. When you posted earlier in the thread you actually seemed to be somewhat intelligent and had something of value to contribute. By posting the quoted drivel, you sir seem like an over indulged, inexperienced, millennial or Generation Y male feminist(I would have used another word but didn't want to get flagged for what could be considered vulgarity. The word starts with man and rhymes with myna).

I look forward to your superior ENGINEER retort.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Just curious as to what countries excludes recognizing a Philippine passport, but allows US passport entry?

For me the greatest gift I can give my wife is unconditional love, 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, yada yada yada'. Not a blue booklet with a face picture in it.

A prime example of this is the reason Americans have to utilize the fiancé visa. Could your wife travel to the USA on a visitor's visa? Ask her. The answer is no. But yet, you were welcomed to the Philippines for a visa free 21 day stay anytime you want to? Do you see the difference between your American passport and your wife's Filipino passport?

Search is your friend. For your reading pleasure

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_Filipino_citizens

[Joshua@Tinz 52]

Some of us have left the country a time or two in our short 35 years on this little rock. I do not think you could look more ignorant if you tried... good night to you and good luck

And to answer your question my wife doesn't work, she instead spends hours wiping her ### with $14 bills. they are so plentiful when someone makes a "plan" jackass. Enjoy living a life where you ask total strangers for advice and then berate them on said advice.

Edited February 3, 2016 by Joshua@Tinz

[Lee&Ana 88]

I am a little curious that how OP knew his wife since she lived in a place without internet.

Her residence didn't have internet, tv, cable, satellite, microwave or a house phone. They have these things in the Philippines though.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Lee&Ana- I am a very lucky man to have found and married Dahlia....we both have learned how to love each other more and more each day, give and take, listening, and understanding your partners position and feelings.

It takes both people to make this work. Ana is certainly the one that is in the disadvantaged position and many people have posted about that, compassion, time and understanding on your part needs to be an investment you make in your future with her, at this point she cannot see this.

True Love is when you give to your partner without expecting anything in return....do you have true love for your wife ??

If you don't have what it takes to make this work, then be a strong man and pay her way back home if that is the only direction she wants to go, you can't force someone to love you or appreciate what you are doing for them. For her, maybe she needs to grow and mature before she is ready for the American way of life....

Just my thoughts....best of luck to both of you !!!

Cheers,

Curt

I do agree with some of what you posted, but I fail to see how my wife is in a position that is disadvantaged? She has a husband who has taken care of her every need, some wants and is setting her up in the USA to be successful on her own where she doesn't have to rely on me for anything. How is that disadvantaged? I wish someone would let me sit home and pay for everything while guiding me towards success in a new and strange country.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Tyler,

Most of Filipinos are not used to expressing themselves. It was a big step for me, it ain't easy hahahaha. But when your husband let you feel the openness, the love and respect, eventually it makes you realize how blessed you are.

A lot of Filipinos are not fortunate to be here in America. Let's not forget that. Even if we are here we need to work hard to have a good life. Not unless you married a guy with a golden spoon.

Let's not forget why we got ourselves into "MARRIAGE". It is not all about compatibility, that one should have the same likes, habits and favorites. It is working out our "DIFFERENCES".

Age differences shouldn't be an issue either. I'm 40 and my husband is turning 65. It's about life experiences and maturity and maturity doesn't comes with "AGE, it's a "CHOICE". You can be 100 years old and still immature. Having said about my previous comment. Anna is only 25, "maybe" inexperience about reality so it may take time for her to understand the reality of handling a relationship or never. Only time will tell. That's one thing for sure, the realization strikes if ever she had a chance to come back to Philippines. While Lee is 43 you have a ways to go, either you fret about your wife negativity or find a way to for her to win her heart again. I'm sure there's "LOVE" there, it's just never blossoms because of we focused on negatives. My husband and I always reminds each other how our relationship started. It wasn't love at first sight. Our love grew because we watered it with patience, respect and understanding.. it wasn't easy ride. But it was worth it once you realize this is nothing compared to problems other couples experiencing.

Cheers!

How does the not expressing yourself technique work in the Philippines? What is the relationship dynamic if no one expresses themselves? Do all the couples walk around sulking all day? I am asking seriously and not trying to be a wise guy.

Additionally, how do you feel that not all Filipinos are fortunate to be here in America? You posted that we have to work very hard to have a good life here. People in every country have to work hard to have anything. If someone is lazy and wants to sit around doing nothing with their hand out they aren't going to have anything no matter where they are. Why come to America to just sit around and expect things to be handed to them? At least in America, you have unlimited opportunity if you want to apply yourself. If someone from the Philippines doesn't feel fortunate to be here, I guarantee you there are 100 million of your countrymen/countrywomen that would love the opportunity. My wife can't wait to get to work and have an opportunity. That is why she is giving me grief. She is frustrated with being a housewife temporarily. Once she gets to work I think things will improve. She will be able to buy whatever she wants with her own money without asking me. Aside from some contribution on her part, her money will be hers

[Lee&Ana 88]

Some of us have left the country a time or two in our short 35 years on this little rock. I do not think you could look more ignorant if you tried... good night to you and good luck

And to answer your question my wife doesn't work, she instead spends hours wiping her ### with $14 bills. they are so plentiful when someone makes a "plan" jackass. Enjoy living a life where you ask total strangers for advice and then berate them on said advice.

You answered one question and that is you are 35. So I was correct in predicting your age. I didn't know that they made $14 bills. So what is your plan that I asked you to share with all the readers here? I clearly have hit a nerve or two because you are now being very nasty and defensive and you have resorted to cursing and acting like a ghetto boy. I too have left the country 2 times in my not so short time country boy. I am sure your wife is enjoying all the nice Filipino restaurants and shops in good ole bama. Your $14 bills that she uses for toilet paper probably make her feel very comfortable in the racial tension free state that you call home. All the other pinay's must be running to your house to get the $14 bills that your asawa gets to clean up with. She must enjoy the sizeable Asian community you folks have down there. I wasn't asking strangers for advice, I posted a scenario and was looking for some people that had a similar experience.

[cristina16 81]

wow! this thread has escalated into something.

Speaking from a woman's perspective. Bottom line Lee& Ana, the Mrs is bored; she have nothing to do compared to the time when she was in the Philippines. Daily she needs to work and battle Manila heat and traffic.

Since she cannot work without an AED nor go somewhere without a DL. Plan date nights, nearby city trips, explore with her. What are her hobbies, what are your hobbies? You need to find something to do that you both enjoy, as mentioned by some comments- find that common interests. Plan your weekends, ask her what she wants to do and where she want to go.

Yes, the interest of a mid 20s is different from 40 something. This is Chances are you already know that since the day you came to see her in Manila. Yet, you pursued her and married her.

She has expectations too, and you are not meeting that expectations. You need to talk about that. She had envisioned a life with you, her life when she moved to the US; I am pretty sure of that; the thing is - reality she is not seeing it and it fall short of her expectations. In addition, she have external influences. The burden is on you how will you distract her to find other better friends. No one can influence her do that but you, she will not see it herself.

Yes I agree, when she have a job and more independent things may change.

We cannot compare each others circumstances, we are all different. I might be a Filipina too but my experiences in life made me different and so is your wife; and so are all other VJers wife and fiancee. We handle things differently, I have read worst here.

Just be more patient and give her more time. If she in a tampo mode, all you have to do is woo her.This might be cultural and immature to you but your wife if having a tampo mode just wanted more lambing (thoughtfulness, fondness). If she is not talking to you or ignoring you, talk to her, or ask her out; don't just let her ignore you..Tell her- "Babe, stop the tampo na.. We can go out or I can cook dinner".

Cook her favorite food or lean to cook her favorite food. I can teach you how just PM me and you can surprise her

Oh by the way, if she cannot work still she can take up some classes. Talk this out with her, she can go to local training centers (some offer free classes) or do some volunteer work. She will differently meet new friends there.

Hang -on; you have been through a lot with the K1 process and the long distance relationship before that. Don't just give that up..

wow! this thread has escalated into something.

Speaking from a woman's perspective. Bottom line Lee& Ana, the Mrs is bored; she have nothing to do compared to the time when she was in the Philippines. Daily she needs to work and battle Manila heat and traffic.

Since she cannot work without an AED nor go somewhere without a DL. Plan date nights, nearby city trips, explore with her. What are her hobbies, what are your hobbies? You need to find something to do that you both enjoy, as mentioned by some comments- find that common interests. Plan your weekends, ask her what she wants to do and where she want to go.

Yes, the interest of a mid 20s is different from 40 something. This is Chances are you already know that since the day you came to see her in Manila. Yet, you pursued her and married her.

She has expectations too, and you are not meeting that expectations. You need to talk about that. She had envisioned a life with you, her life when she moved to the US; I am pretty sure of that; the thing is - reality she is not seeing it and it fall short of her expectations. In addition, she have external influences. The burden is on you how will you distract her to find other better friends. No one can influence her do that but you, she will not see it herself.

Yes I agree, when she have a job and more independent things may change.

We cannot compare each others circumstances, we are all different. I might be a Filipina too but my experiences in life made me different and so is your wife; and so are all other VJers wife and fiancee. We handle things differently, I have read worst here.

Just be more patient and give her more time. If she in a tampo mode, all you have to do is woo her.This might be cultural and immature to you but your wife if having a tampo mode just wanted more lambing (thoughtfulness, fondness). If she is not talking to you or ignoring you, talk to her, or ask her out; don't just let her ignore you..Tell her- "Babe, stop the tampo na.. We can go out or I can cook dinner".

Cook her favorite food or lean to cook her favorite food. I can teach you how just PM me and you can surprise her

Oh by the way, if she cannot work still she can take up some classes. Talk this out with her, she can go to local training centers (some offer free classes) or do some volunteer work. She will differently meet new friends there.

Hang -on; you have been through a lot with the K1 process and the long distance relationship before that. Don't just give that up..

PS. It's late, go to bed with your wife.

[Brassballs 47]

Unfortunately I can see this thread being locked real soon now. It was an interesting read while it lasted. I'm sure it has degenerated into a TOS issue.

BTW other than the US are there other countries that severely restrict the entry of Filipinos?

[Lee&Ana 88]

Thanks for the advice christina16. If you don't mind me asking, how come you are waiting until June for POE?