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Winchester Unveils New 9MM Stray Bullet Guaranteed To Hit Innocent Bystanders

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NEW HAVEN, CT—Touting the product’s ability to veer dramatically from the barrel of a handgun with impeccable precision, Winchester Repeating Arms officials unveiled a new 9mm stray bullet Monday that the company vows will hit innocent bystanders. “We are proud to bring our customers the first bullet with a truly off-course trajectory, which carries with it our 100 percent ironclad guarantee that it will strike a helpless onlooker every time it is fired,” said Winchester spokesperson Daniel Vignale, emphasizing that the ballistics of the 9mm bullet had been expertly designed to allow the ammunition to careen far from a sighted target and into a nearby crowd. “You can load a single 9mm Winchester stray bullet into a pistol or revolver and know for certain that it will become lodged in an unsuspecting victim, or at the very least graze a passerby. Or, simply fire off numerous rounds in any direction and riddle every innocent person in sight with errant bullets.” Vignale confirmed that the Winchester 9mm stray bullets were also suitable for police and military use.

http://tinyurl.com/purkmcp


* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

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:rofl: a bit of bent humor......


Completed: K1/K2 (271 days) - AOS/EAD/AP (134 days) - ROC (279 days)

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Bah I like .45ACP Makes a bigger hole in the bystander!


I-129F Mailed: Aug 16, 2013 | Interview at Embassy Jan 24, 2014

K-1 VISA IN HAND: March 6, 2014

I-485 Mailed: June 20, 2014 | NPIW: October 15, 2014 | Welcome Letter: June 23, 2015

2 YR GREEN CARD IN HAND: June 26, 2015

I-751 Mailed: March 20, 2017 | Approval Letter: February 24, 2018

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As former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders said, "We need safer guns and safer bullets!"


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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