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Jokes - Canadian jokes about Americans, American about Canadians

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I think we all are very used to hear jokes both sides about other countries.. Let's share them here.

This is what Canadians make fun of Americans:

"So you are from Canada, do you know so and so person, he lives in Saskatoon?"

This is how Americans make fun of Canadians:

"How do you remove 100 Canadians from a pool?"

"Ask them"


Category/Country: Employment-3rd/Pakistan (Since Birth place is Pakistan, citizenship Canada)
11/04/2013 ---- Start of the pre-process
10/28/2014 ---- PERM Filing Date/Priority Date
03/23/2015 ---- PERM Approved
04/07/2015 ---- I-140 Filed
04/16/2015 ---- I-140 Approved
04/20/2015 ---- RCMP Report: Sent documents to Windsor Police. Will pick up results before traveling to Montreal
04/27/2015 ---- USCIS sent to NVC
05/04/2015 (May the forth be with you :dancing: ) ---- NVC received
05/18/2015 ----
NVC case number assigned
05/20/2015 ---- NVC email received with invoice

05/28/2015 ---- IV fee sent by overnight mail. (Since NVC system is down)

05/29/2015 ---- IV fee mail picked up and signed by * ****LEY

06/03/2015 ---- IV fee shows PAID, DS-260 completed, documents and pictures emailed to nvcelectronic

06/09/2015 ---- Scan date

06/09/2015 ---- Put on Supervisor review (1 week or 42 day wait start) - Police certificate missing. I was avoiding it till I go to Canada for interview

06/22/2015 ---- Talked to supervisor, she said since it is available from Canada through agencies even though they charge a lot, it is a must to obtain it. NVC review won't complete without it.

07/07/2015 ---- Police certificate sent in email. (received the email from commissionaire-ottawa)
07/10/2015
---- Case Complete (Also police certificate actually received. Also scan date of police certificate)

Note that my case is employment based, and since government already done thorough security checking on me in the past with my employment visa and NEXUS card, I think that clears my security faster than spousal cases.

08/11/2015 ---- Appointment scheduled
09/09/2015
----
Medical (Dr Lyndon in Toronto)
09/16/2015 ---- Consular interview (Montreal) - Approved. Visa wasn't ready at 3 PM; stayed second night in Dorval

09/17/2015 ---- Visa and passports pickup

09/18/2015 ---- POE - Detroit tunnel

11/05/2015 ---- Green card arrived in mail

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I have two Canadian jokes:

Re: Americans: Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? because it's ****ing close to water ;) (This is an old joke. American beer is stronger than it used to be!)

Re: Canadians: Maclean's did a contest to come up with a tagline like "As American as Apple Pie." The winner was, "As Canadian as possible under the circumstances."


2009/09/30 Married
IR-1 begins: 2015/07/07 Courier I-130 petition to Chicago

 

 

 

2015/07/08 Petition delivered | NOA1 date
2015/07/10 Received emailed NOA1 (California) 2015/07/20 Received snail mail NOA1
2015/08/25 NOA2 by email/USCIS site (48 days) 2015/09/02 Received snail mail NOA2

2015/09/15 Received by NVC (21 days)
2015/09/27 Case number assigned (12 days)
2015/09/28 Got case number and IIN over the phone
2015/09/28 Submitted DS-261 2015/09/29 Paid AOS fee (IN PROCESS) 2015/10/01 AOS fee PAID
2015/10/13 Received NVC Welcome Letter hard copy
2015/10/15 Reviewed DS-261 (17 days)
2015/10/16 Received IV Invoice 2015/10/16 Paid IV fee (IN PROCESS)

2015/10/17 Submitted AOS package & IV package 2015/10/19 IV fee PAID 2015/10/19 Submitted DS-260 (scan date)

2015/10/20 Re-sent files (new scan date) 2015/10/29 CASE COMPLETE!

2015/11/13 Heard about interview date (phone) (15 days) 2015/12/07 Medical

2015/12/18 INTERVIEW! 221(g) request for additional sponsor. Otherwise good to go!

2016/01/07 Additional information and passport sent back to Mtl Consulate.

2016/01/12 Passport & 221g delivered to Consulate

2016/01/14 Status updated on CEAC; no update yet on ais.usvisa-info.com

2016/01/28 Status updated to READY 2016/01/29 Status updated to ISSUED

2016/02/01 Received Canada Post info 2016/02/03 Got it!

2016/02/04 POE YVR

2016/03/18 Received green card

2018/11/08 Submitted N-400 online

2018/11/09 Estimated wait time: 31 Days  2018/11/09 Estimated case completion time: 11 months

2018/11/10 Biometrics appt scheduled 2018/11/13 Appointment letter received online

2018/11/27 Biometrics appt

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My SO's favourite joke right now is that our baby is "Canadian bakin' (bacon)" in my stomach. I roll my eyes at that one and give a polite smile he is so proud.

These are cute: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/silly-jokes-only-canadians-will-appreciate#.nsBRYPPOE

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My SO's favourite joke right now is that our baby is "Canadian bakin' (bacon)" in my stomach. I roll my eyes at that one and give a polite smile he is so proud.

These are cute: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/silly-jokes-only-canadians-will-appreciate#.nsBRYPPOE

I loved the "thank the ATM" one. So true.


Category/Country: Employment-3rd/Pakistan (Since Birth place is Pakistan, citizenship Canada)
11/04/2013 ---- Start of the pre-process
10/28/2014 ---- PERM Filing Date/Priority Date
03/23/2015 ---- PERM Approved
04/07/2015 ---- I-140 Filed
04/16/2015 ---- I-140 Approved
04/20/2015 ---- RCMP Report: Sent documents to Windsor Police. Will pick up results before traveling to Montreal
04/27/2015 ---- USCIS sent to NVC
05/04/2015 (May the forth be with you :dancing: ) ---- NVC received
05/18/2015 ----
NVC case number assigned
05/20/2015 ---- NVC email received with invoice

05/28/2015 ---- IV fee sent by overnight mail. (Since NVC system is down)

05/29/2015 ---- IV fee mail picked up and signed by * ****LEY

06/03/2015 ---- IV fee shows PAID, DS-260 completed, documents and pictures emailed to nvcelectronic

06/09/2015 ---- Scan date

06/09/2015 ---- Put on Supervisor review (1 week or 42 day wait start) - Police certificate missing. I was avoiding it till I go to Canada for interview

06/22/2015 ---- Talked to supervisor, she said since it is available from Canada through agencies even though they charge a lot, it is a must to obtain it. NVC review won't complete without it.

07/07/2015 ---- Police certificate sent in email. (received the email from commissionaire-ottawa)
07/10/2015
---- Case Complete (Also police certificate actually received. Also scan date of police certificate)

Note that my case is employment based, and since government already done thorough security checking on me in the past with my employment visa and NEXUS card, I think that clears my security faster than spousal cases.

08/11/2015 ---- Appointment scheduled
09/09/2015
----
Medical (Dr Lyndon in Toronto)
09/16/2015 ---- Consular interview (Montreal) - Approved. Visa wasn't ready at 3 PM; stayed second night in Dorval

09/17/2015 ---- Visa and passports pickup

09/18/2015 ---- POE - Detroit tunnel

11/05/2015 ---- Green card arrived in mail

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I hear this joke all the time, " how are Canadians different from canoes? Canoes tip." So my Canadian friends , please tip when visiting the U.S. I know I always do.


Married January 15, 2014

USCIS

I130 sent March, 11, 2014 NOA1 March 18

I129F sent April 7, 2014 NOA1 April 14

NOA2 September 10, 2014

NVC received October 1, 2014

NVC

Case # assigned October 17, 2014

Paid AOS and IV October 24, 2014

Submitted electronically November 19, 2014

December 11, 2014 received confirming email receipt of documents

January 26, 2015 checklist for AOS missing info and IV docs (say did not receive)

February 5, 2015 resubmitted IV docs

January 29 resubmitted AOS checklist docs

February 20, 2015 all docs received

February 20, 2015 case complete

February 27, 2015 Case complete email received.

March 2, 2015 Interview email received Interview Date April 17, 2015. Montreal

Medical scheduled April 10, 2015 Montreal

Signed up for courier service.

April 2, 2015 Medisys calls to reschedule medical . ( there is no emoticon that could accurately represent my dismay)

April 6, 2015 Medical rescheduled to April 9

April 9, 2015 Medical complete.

April 17, 2015 Interview and approval.

April 23, 2015 visa received!

May 2, 2015 visa fee paid.

August 1, 2015 POE reunited with my husband.

September 2015 ; 2 year green card received.

ROC

May 4th 2017 package sent to CSC

May 6th 2017 Package received USPS tracking

May 16th 2017 Check cashed

May 18th 2017 NOA1 received dated May 8, 2017

May 27th 2017 Biometrics received appointment June 7th, 2017

June 5th 2017 early walk in biometrics New Orleans

 

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I hear this joke all the time, " how are Canadians different from canoes? Canoes tip." So my Canadian friends , please tip when visiting the U.S. I know I always do.

Oh.. I had no idea Canadians don't tip. Actually tipping standard for Canada is 10%. The US is 20%. The reason is Canadian restaurants pay regular minimum wage to waiters, Americans never changed minimum wage for restaurant workers for last 30 to 40 years, which is about $2.75/hour.


Category/Country: Employment-3rd/Pakistan (Since Birth place is Pakistan, citizenship Canada)
11/04/2013 ---- Start of the pre-process
10/28/2014 ---- PERM Filing Date/Priority Date
03/23/2015 ---- PERM Approved
04/07/2015 ---- I-140 Filed
04/16/2015 ---- I-140 Approved
04/20/2015 ---- RCMP Report: Sent documents to Windsor Police. Will pick up results before traveling to Montreal
04/27/2015 ---- USCIS sent to NVC
05/04/2015 (May the forth be with you :dancing: ) ---- NVC received
05/18/2015 ----
NVC case number assigned
05/20/2015 ---- NVC email received with invoice

05/28/2015 ---- IV fee sent by overnight mail. (Since NVC system is down)

05/29/2015 ---- IV fee mail picked up and signed by * ****LEY

06/03/2015 ---- IV fee shows PAID, DS-260 completed, documents and pictures emailed to nvcelectronic

06/09/2015 ---- Scan date

06/09/2015 ---- Put on Supervisor review (1 week or 42 day wait start) - Police certificate missing. I was avoiding it till I go to Canada for interview

06/22/2015 ---- Talked to supervisor, she said since it is available from Canada through agencies even though they charge a lot, it is a must to obtain it. NVC review won't complete without it.

07/07/2015 ---- Police certificate sent in email. (received the email from commissionaire-ottawa)
07/10/2015
---- Case Complete (Also police certificate actually received. Also scan date of police certificate)

Note that my case is employment based, and since government already done thorough security checking on me in the past with my employment visa and NEXUS card, I think that clears my security faster than spousal cases.

08/11/2015 ---- Appointment scheduled
09/09/2015
----
Medical (Dr Lyndon in Toronto)
09/16/2015 ---- Consular interview (Montreal) - Approved. Visa wasn't ready at 3 PM; stayed second night in Dorval

09/17/2015 ---- Visa and passports pickup

09/18/2015 ---- POE - Detroit tunnel

11/05/2015 ---- Green card arrived in mail

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Oh.. I had no idea Canadians don't tip. Actually tipping standard for Canada is 10%. The US is 20%. The reason is Canadian restaurants pay regular minimum wage to waiters, Americans never changed minimum wage for restaurant workers for last 30 to 40 years, which is about $2.75/hour.

I've never heard that about Canadians! some people are poor tippers, of course.

I have heard it about Europeans and about Australians (both places where tipping is less common given that service staff get better wages/benefits than in North America, generally).

In Vancouver, 20% is pretty standard. My grandmother might have been a 10% tipper but my parents and I wouldn't think of it except for crummy service.


2009/09/30 Married
IR-1 begins: 2015/07/07 Courier I-130 petition to Chicago

 

 

 

2015/07/08 Petition delivered | NOA1 date
2015/07/10 Received emailed NOA1 (California) 2015/07/20 Received snail mail NOA1
2015/08/25 NOA2 by email/USCIS site (48 days) 2015/09/02 Received snail mail NOA2

2015/09/15 Received by NVC (21 days)
2015/09/27 Case number assigned (12 days)
2015/09/28 Got case number and IIN over the phone
2015/09/28 Submitted DS-261 2015/09/29 Paid AOS fee (IN PROCESS) 2015/10/01 AOS fee PAID
2015/10/13 Received NVC Welcome Letter hard copy
2015/10/15 Reviewed DS-261 (17 days)
2015/10/16 Received IV Invoice 2015/10/16 Paid IV fee (IN PROCESS)

2015/10/17 Submitted AOS package & IV package 2015/10/19 IV fee PAID 2015/10/19 Submitted DS-260 (scan date)

2015/10/20 Re-sent files (new scan date) 2015/10/29 CASE COMPLETE!

2015/11/13 Heard about interview date (phone) (15 days) 2015/12/07 Medical

2015/12/18 INTERVIEW! 221(g) request for additional sponsor. Otherwise good to go!

2016/01/07 Additional information and passport sent back to Mtl Consulate.

2016/01/12 Passport & 221g delivered to Consulate

2016/01/14 Status updated on CEAC; no update yet on ais.usvisa-info.com

2016/01/28 Status updated to READY 2016/01/29 Status updated to ISSUED

2016/02/01 Received Canada Post info 2016/02/03 Got it!

2016/02/04 POE YVR

2016/03/18 Received green card

2018/11/08 Submitted N-400 online

2018/11/09 Estimated wait time: 31 Days  2018/11/09 Estimated case completion time: 11 months

2018/11/10 Biometrics appt scheduled 2018/11/13 Appointment letter received online

2018/11/27 Biometrics appt

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huh - someone gave us a bad name, I don't know any canadians who wouldn't tip appropriately

I hear this joke all the time, " how are Canadians different from canoes? Canoes tip." So my Canadian friends , please tip when visiting the U.S. I know I always do.


Actually - in ON at least - servers do not make regular minimum wage, there is a waitress minimum wage as well - it's less but still a decent hourly rate

Oh.. I had no idea Canadians don't tip. Actually tipping standard for Canada is 10%. The US is 20%. The reason is Canadian restaurants pay regular minimum wage to waiters, Americans never changed minimum wage for restaurant workers for last 30 to 40 years, which is about $2.75/hour.


Wiz(USC) and Udella(Cdn & USC!)

Naturalization

02/22/11 - Filed

02/28/11 - NOA

03/28/11 - FP

06/17/11 - status change - scheduled for interview

06/20?/11 - received physical interview letter

07/13/11 - Interview in Fairfax,VA - easiest 10 minutes of my life

07/19/11 - Oath ceremony in Fairfax, VA

******************

Removal of Conditions

12/1/09 - received at VSC

12/2/09 - NOA's for self and daughter

01/12/10 - Biometrics completed

03/15/10 - 10 Green Card Received - self and daughter

******************

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Anyways, back to the topic. Anymore jokes on Americans?


Category/Country: Employment-3rd/Pakistan (Since Birth place is Pakistan, citizenship Canada)
11/04/2013 ---- Start of the pre-process
10/28/2014 ---- PERM Filing Date/Priority Date
03/23/2015 ---- PERM Approved
04/07/2015 ---- I-140 Filed
04/16/2015 ---- I-140 Approved
04/20/2015 ---- RCMP Report: Sent documents to Windsor Police. Will pick up results before traveling to Montreal
04/27/2015 ---- USCIS sent to NVC
05/04/2015 (May the forth be with you :dancing: ) ---- NVC received
05/18/2015 ----
NVC case number assigned
05/20/2015 ---- NVC email received with invoice

05/28/2015 ---- IV fee sent by overnight mail. (Since NVC system is down)

05/29/2015 ---- IV fee mail picked up and signed by * ****LEY

06/03/2015 ---- IV fee shows PAID, DS-260 completed, documents and pictures emailed to nvcelectronic

06/09/2015 ---- Scan date

06/09/2015 ---- Put on Supervisor review (1 week or 42 day wait start) - Police certificate missing. I was avoiding it till I go to Canada for interview

06/22/2015 ---- Talked to supervisor, she said since it is available from Canada through agencies even though they charge a lot, it is a must to obtain it. NVC review won't complete without it.

07/07/2015 ---- Police certificate sent in email. (received the email from commissionaire-ottawa)
07/10/2015
---- Case Complete (Also police certificate actually received. Also scan date of police certificate)

Note that my case is employment based, and since government already done thorough security checking on me in the past with my employment visa and NEXUS card, I think that clears my security faster than spousal cases.

08/11/2015 ---- Appointment scheduled
09/09/2015
----
Medical (Dr Lyndon in Toronto)
09/16/2015 ---- Consular interview (Montreal) - Approved. Visa wasn't ready at 3 PM; stayed second night in Dorval

09/17/2015 ---- Visa and passports pickup

09/18/2015 ---- POE - Detroit tunnel

11/05/2015 ---- Green card arrived in mail

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Biggest Canadian joke on America:

o-TED-CRUZ-facebook.jpg

For sure? has anyone really seen his birth certificate?


The content available on a site dedicated to bringing folks to America should not be promoting racial discord, euro-supremacy, discrimination based on religion , exclusion of groups from immigration based on where they were born, disenfranchisement of voters rights based on how they might vote.

horsey-change.jpg?w=336&h=265

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His parents are from Cuba, then probably they first immigrated to Canada where he was born, then US.

So not really Canadian for several generations.


Category/Country: Employment-3rd/Pakistan (Since Birth place is Pakistan, citizenship Canada)
11/04/2013 ---- Start of the pre-process
10/28/2014 ---- PERM Filing Date/Priority Date
03/23/2015 ---- PERM Approved
04/07/2015 ---- I-140 Filed
04/16/2015 ---- I-140 Approved
04/20/2015 ---- RCMP Report: Sent documents to Windsor Police. Will pick up results before traveling to Montreal
04/27/2015 ---- USCIS sent to NVC
05/04/2015 (May the forth be with you :dancing: ) ---- NVC received
05/18/2015 ----
NVC case number assigned
05/20/2015 ---- NVC email received with invoice

05/28/2015 ---- IV fee sent by overnight mail. (Since NVC system is down)

05/29/2015 ---- IV fee mail picked up and signed by * ****LEY

06/03/2015 ---- IV fee shows PAID, DS-260 completed, documents and pictures emailed to nvcelectronic

06/09/2015 ---- Scan date

06/09/2015 ---- Put on Supervisor review (1 week or 42 day wait start) - Police certificate missing. I was avoiding it till I go to Canada for interview

06/22/2015 ---- Talked to supervisor, she said since it is available from Canada through agencies even though they charge a lot, it is a must to obtain it. NVC review won't complete without it.

07/07/2015 ---- Police certificate sent in email. (received the email from commissionaire-ottawa)
07/10/2015
---- Case Complete (Also police certificate actually received. Also scan date of police certificate)

Note that my case is employment based, and since government already done thorough security checking on me in the past with my employment visa and NEXUS card, I think that clears my security faster than spousal cases.

08/11/2015 ---- Appointment scheduled
09/09/2015
----
Medical (Dr Lyndon in Toronto)
09/16/2015 ---- Consular interview (Montreal) - Approved. Visa wasn't ready at 3 PM; stayed second night in Dorval

09/17/2015 ---- Visa and passports pickup

09/18/2015 ---- POE - Detroit tunnel

11/05/2015 ---- Green card arrived in mail

Share this post


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His parents are from Cuba, then probably they first immigrated to Canada where he was born, then US.

So not really Canadian for several generations.

His parents were only temporary working in Canada, up in Alberta I believe..and he was born here... found the link http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2015/mar/26/ted-cruz-born-canada-eligible-run-president-update/

Edited by Flames9_RN

Canadians Visiting the USA while undergoing the visa process, my free advice:

1) Always tell the TRUTH. never lie to the POE officer

2) Be confident in ur replies

3) keep ur response short and to the point, don't tell ur life story!!

4) look the POE officer in the eye when speaking to them. They are looking for people lieing and have been trained to find them!

5) Pack light! No job resumes with you

6) Bring ties to Canada (letter from employer when ur expected back at work, lease, etc etc)

7) Always be polite, being rude isn't going to get ya anywhere, and could make things worse!!

8) Have a plan in case u do get denied (be polite) It wont harm ur visa application if ur denied,that is if ur polite and didn't lie! Refer to #1

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