Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!!!!!

[hastings 0]

Talked to my fiancee tonite after trying to get a hold of her for three days. I called her at work and was able to talk. She said go to YM and I will tell you what is bothering me.

We meet in Ym and she tells me. " I have had a change of heart and do not want to move to USA." She says, " I am scared and do not want to follow through with it." Now bear in mind I have made plans, purchased tickets, got hotel room suite and am going to the Philippines in 25

days to see "my fiancee."

Needless to say as you can see by our timeline the ####### was totally knocked out of me. Have you ever tried to cancel internet flite and hotel tickets bought thru a broker of said things?

I am just floored. I simply wrote her an email and said I hope you can look your 5 y/o daughter in the eyes when she is 12-15 and tell her you did what you thought was best. Nerissa and I have been talking about this for 4 years and now she does this.

I have no idea how she could do this to me.

I am still going to PI in March. I saw for myself that there are millions of beautiful ladies there and who knows. End of chapter, start a new one. My life is definetly a chapter book.

Kevin

Let me get this right.

She tells you she is having second thoughts.

Your reaction, you talk about the money you have spent in flights and hotel.

You email her and use her daughter as a tool of emotional blackmail.

You then plan to go to the Phillipines and look for another woman.

Her fears look well grounded to me.

I agree. I was sympathetic until you made the comments about money and her daughter. It sounds like this was a business transaction (i.e., she agrees to marry you in exchange for a better life for her and her daughter). Where is the love? Money is not everything. I think she made the best decision based on your post. Good luck with the next girl.

[mychelle 1]

i would find it hard to end everything through YM with someone i wanted to marry. with a relationship as serious as this...it deserves at least a face to face discussion or break-up. well, just your luck...you're on your way to the Philippines soon...should have a chance to do that face to face talk...oh wait...that's not what you're going to do when you get there.

anyways...those two new girls are so lucky to have found you just when you are free. good luck!

[hastings 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

I hope one of the new ones agrees to marry you. Every woman's dream is to come to the uSA to be your maid. Again, where was the love? Another poster stated that your ex-fiancee was the luckiest woman in the Philipines, I would argue in the world. I take back the "good luck" I wished you in the last post. I think people like you make it harder for people looking for actual relationships and marriage. Harsh but true.

[azcactus 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

I think what some people are trying to tell you is it seems very strange that you would end a 4 year relationship that is so close to finally finishing the visa process so nonchalantly. Maybe you left some important parts out but your OP sounds as though you didn't even discuss the how's and why's with your fiancee. You just turned the page and (curiously quickly) moved on to these other women you only know from online chat. Maybe your fiancee was dishonest and this was a convenient excuse to back out without further explanation. If so, I'm very sorry for you because that's a terrible thing to do. However, maybe there's a valid reason and things could have been worked out. Seems like you'll never know now.

I refuse to BEG someone to Love me. We have been planning this a long time and all of a sudden she syas I do not want this. SAs far as meeting other ladies I wpould much rather see Manila w/ a lady than some filipino guy showing me the sites. I was actually soooo excited about seeing the things with her and getting her medical and paying for interview and all that, but she crashed that idea. I am not about making or bribing someone to love me.

Life is to be lived.

[azcactus 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

Your ex fiancee is the luckiest girl in the Phillipines right now.

In my opinion she has had a very narrow escape.

Thank you. That definetly makes me fell a whole lot better. I can tell that I should have just held this in and not shared to get it out of my heart and mind.

[azcactus 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

I think what some people are trying to tell you is it seems very strange that you would end a 4 year relationship that is so close to finally finishing the visa process so nonchalantly. Maybe you left some important parts out but your OP sounds as though you didn't even discuss the how's and why's with your fiancee. You just turned the page and (curiously quickly) moved on to these other women you only know from online chat. Maybe your fiancee was dishonest and this was a convenient excuse to back out without further explanation. If so, I'm very sorry for you because that's a terrible thing to do. However, maybe there's a valid reason and things could have been worked out. Seems like you'll never know now.

Just got home from work. The nonchalant is actually a face I am trying hard to put on. My heart is breaking and I do not know how to tell my daughters. They were really excited thinking Nerissa would be here for them. Life sucks today.

[bora bora 1]

AngelD, what you said was very insightful and touching. I'm grateful that my fiance is anxious and excited to move here. Just tonight he said how he is ready to get out of his town and leave already. What a relief!

We're ecstatic!!

I've already made my comment about how I'd never let my other half slip away...I have nothing left to say

[msu17 0]

Just got home from work. The nonchalant is actually a face I am trying hard to put on. My heart is breaking and I do not know how to tell my daughters. They were really excited thinking Nerissa would be here for them. Life sucks today.

Seems like a knee jerk reaction now. I sure hope you can get a good reason from her in the coming days and weeks and that the trip to the PI goes well. I do hope you can talk to her and find out what is going on. I'm so sorry, especially for your children. Maybe a little less talk about the money though

[azcactus 0]

I know people who are more upset about their car breaking down beyond economical repair and having to say goodbye to it when they get a new car, than this guy is about losing the love of the woman who he was going to marry. Apparantly it's easier just to get another Philipino woman than it is to change your car.

I'm stunned.

edited to add...

...it's probably because of people filing for visas like this guy, that the rest of us have to wait months to get through it all with genuine heartache.

Hi Thanks for you kind words. For the record Nerissa and I hads been chatting since 12/2002 and I went there in 10/2005 and sent K1 in 9/2006. I did everything just the way you are supposed to...slow and steady. Didn't rush anything. I wanted it to work for us MORE than anything...but I am not a begger. You and I both know that someplace in this world is the person who also WANTS to spend the resy of their life with you!!!!!!! I thought, incorrectly that I had found mine. Surprise surprise wrong again. I always land on my feet though and learn from my mistakes.

[azcactus 0]

Just got home from work. The nonchalant is actually a face I am trying hard to put on. My heart is breaking and I do not know how to tell my daughters. They were really excited thinking Nerissa would be here for them. Life sucks today.

Seems like a knee jerk reaction now. I sure hope you can get a good reason from her in the coming days and weeks and that the trip to the PI goes well. I do hope you can talk to her and find out what is going on. I'm so sorry, especially for your children. Maybe a little less talk about the money though

Well the kwarta is important. Had she told me this sooner my kids and I would be at Disneyland over Spring break. I was going in order to make the consular see that I had been to see her twice and because I wanted to seee her again sooo bad.

So would it be better if I said my flite and room were free and I was only going to need spending money?

[azcactus 0]

Talked to my fiancee tonite after trying to get a hold of her for three days. I called her at work and was able to talk. She said go to YM and I will tell you what is bothering me.

We meet in Ym and she tells me. " I have had a change of heart and do not want to move to USA." She says, " I am scared and do not want to follow through with it." Now bear in mind I have made plans, purchased tickets, got hotel room suite and am going to the Philippines in 25

days to see "my fiancee."

Needless to say as you can see by our timeline the ####### was totally knocked out of me. Have you ever tried to cancel internet flite and hotel tickets bought thru a broker of said things?

I am just floored. I simply wrote her an email and said I hope you can look your 5 y/o daughter in the eyes when she is 12-15 and tell her you did what you thought was best. Nerissa and I have been talking about this for 4 years and now she does this.

I have no idea how she could do this to me.

I am still going to PI in March. I saw for myself that there are millions of beautiful ladies there and who knows. End of chapter, start a new one. My life is definetly a chapter book.

Kevin

Let me get this right.

She tells you she is having second thoughts.

Your reaction, you talk about the money you have spent in flights and hotel.

You email her and use her daughter as a tool of emotional blackmail.

You then plan to go to the Phillipines and look for another woman.

Her fears look well grounded to me.

I agree. I was sympathetic until you made the comments about money and her daughter. It sounds like this was a business transaction (i.e., she agrees to marry you in exchange for a better life for her and her daughter). Where is the love? Money is not everything. I think she made the best decision based on your post. Good luck with the next girl.

With her it was about the money and how much I could give her family.

[CountryBoy 0]

Sorry to hear of this, good luck in your search ..

[ChasUK 0]

Hi Thanks for you kind words. For the record Nerissa and I hads been chatting since 12/2002 and I went there in 10/2005 and sent K1 in 9/2006. I did everything just the way you are supposed to...slow and steady. Didn't rush anything. I wanted it to work for us MORE than anything...but I am not a begger. You and I both know that someplace in this world is the person who also WANTS to spend the resy of their life with you!!!!!!! I thought, incorrectly that I had found mine. Surprise surprise wrong again. I always land on my feet though and learn from my mistakes.

So broken up about it, you're heading off to pick the best of the next two women. Sounds like you're really broken hearted.

May I remind you. Your aspect, twice stated. One chapter ends, another starts.

[Autumnchik 6]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

I think what some people are trying to tell you is it seems very strange that you would end a 4 year relationship that is so close to finally finishing the visa process so nonchalantly. Maybe you left some important parts out but your OP sounds as though you didn't even discuss the how's and why's with your fiancee. You just turned the page and (curiously quickly) moved on to these other women you only know from online chat. Maybe your fiancee was dishonest and this was a convenient excuse to back out without further explanation. If so, I'm very sorry for you because that's a terrible thing to do. However, maybe there's a valid reason and things could have been worked out. Seems like you'll never know now.

I refuse to BEG someone to Love me. We have been planning this a long time and all of a sudden she syas I do not want this. SAs far as meeting other ladies I wpould much rather see Manila w/ a lady than some filipino guy showing me the sites. I was actually soooo excited about seeing the things with her and getting her medical and paying for interview and all that, but she crashed that idea. I am not about making or bribing someone to love me.

Life is to be lived.

There is a difference between "begging" or "bribing" someone to love you and having an actual discussion about her fears and concerns when your fiance shares her feelings. I would like to think that, when posting, you left out a whole bunch of details of the conversation you had with your fiance. Otherwise, if you can't handle her sharing her feelings, even if they are not what you want to hear, how will you handle any adversity in your marriage?

[lion_lioness 0]

K,

I am sorry to hear this happening. I don't know why but it sucks. I have to be honest I think I would just get out and bounce the hell back! Different ppl deal with heartbreak in many ways. I for one would be so furious that I'd go to his town, vacation with a really cute guy and probably cry like a baby every minute, but I'd do it just because I wouldn't know how else to deal.

You deal with it the way that works for you!