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Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

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Posted

Sometimes a hug is just a hug! :lol:

Ewen and I keep each other on our toes, I would say. :wub:

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

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all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Morocco
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Posted

Pax... that means that life will never be boring! Keep up the good work... you give me reasons to think in depth... instead of taking small things for granted!

*real hugs*

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

114959908992789.gif

The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

Posted (edited)
Can someone help me make the connection as to why sharing a person's last name would imply that you love them? Not trying to step on any toes, but I'm having trouble understanding the relationship.

I can't seem to get from A to B here.

a symbolic gesture of becoming one?

Edited by john_and_marlene

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Posted
Pax... that means that life will never be boring! Keep up the good work... you give me reasons to think in depth... instead of taking small things for granted!

*real hugs*

No, life has definitely been anything but boring since I met Ewen. ;)

VJ makes me think in general.

*hugs*

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted (edited)
Can someone help me make the connection as to why sharing a person's last name would imply that you love them? Not trying to step on any toes, but I'm having trouble understanding the relationship.

I can't seem to get from A to B here.

It's just symbolic, just as wearing a wedding ring is a symbol (and people question the value of wedding rings too...though probably not as much as the name change thing). Of course I would love him if I couldn't share his name. Obviously the love didn't start from the time I changed it...

Edited by Frances

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
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31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Morocco
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Posted (edited)

yep... has a way of making me think too... but it sure is nice to get vented into another direction sometimes... to take my mind off of the k1 process... hehe... thanks for keeping me on my toes!

:lol::lol:

Can someone help me make the connection as to why sharing a person's last name would imply that you love them? Not trying to step on any toes, but I'm having trouble understanding the relationship.

I can't seem to get from A to B here.

It's just symbolic, just as wearing a wedding ring is a symbol. Of course I would love him if I couldn't share his name. Obviously the love didn't start from the time I changed it...

Sister Frances... that is another thread alllllllllllllll by itself...

"To wear wedding bands or not... both spouses!"

edited to add: we will both wear wedding rings... hehe... picked them out in Morocco!

Edited by Dixie_Peach

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

114959908992789.gif

The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

Filed: Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

Can someone help me make the connection as to why sharing a person's last name would imply that you love them? Not trying to step on any toes, but I'm having trouble understanding the relationship.

I can't seem to get from A to B here.

a symbol gesture of becoming one?

That's how I feel. That's not saying anyone else has to feel that way though. I thought that point had been established. Just because I want to take my soon to be husband's name because I want to feel committed to him in no way IMPLIES that someone who does differently is some how wrong or doesn't love their husband. Just my 99cents worth.

Teaching is the essential profession...the one that makes ALL other professions possible - David Haselkorn

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Morocco
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Posted
To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

114959908992789.gif

The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

I realize that... that's why I put "To me..." at the beginning :)

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

I realize that... that's why I put "To me..." at the beginning :)

hehe... smarty pants!!! :P

love ya & karen

ya'll always make me smile!

*hugs*

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

114959908992789.gif

The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

I realize that... that's why I put "To me..." at the beginning :)

hehe... smarty pants!!! :P

love ya & karen

ya'll always make me smile!

*hugs*

That's why we have to get together someday when Jamal and myself get there!

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted

To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

I'm with ya Sister Peach...I guess I'm just more traditional too! :D

And as I said before... I was happy to be rid of the name that only was a reminder of a person who didn't care for me.

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

Filed: Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted (edited)

To me it's just a name. I love Karen for who she is, not what her name is. The name thing will be her decision alone.

Joel...

I think for some women... not all... it is just a more personal issue than just a name... it is something that i can't explain easily... it just IS... at least for me... just like some people NEED a piece of paper to say they are married... I don't need the paper (other than to finish the whole k1 process through aos, etc.)... but i do want the marriage certificate... to honor the whole traditional union kind of thing... that is just personal for me... what is so funny, is that i never really thought i was a traditional kinda gal... but, well... that is a whole other topic! hehe

I'm with ya Sister Peach...I guess I'm just more traditional too! :D

And as I said before... I was happy to be rid of the name that only was a reminder of a person who didn't care for me.

Yep...that's another major reason too. My maiden name is only a reminder of the family that has disowned me...the name I have now is only a reminder of the pain and abuse I suffered. My new name symbolises my new life, new beginning...with someone who loves me for ME, and not who he wants me to be. Life is great, ain't it!!!!

Edited by KarenCee

Teaching is the essential profession...the one that makes ALL other professions possible - David Haselkorn

 

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