Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

[CarolineM 0]

Ohhhh me.

Where to start. I'll probably just stay quiet.

[pax 1]

Raczkowski...oh, I know SO many people with last names like that! I live in an area VERY heavily populated with descendants of Polish, Czech, and Lithuanian immigrants (myself included). But I lucked into a German last name that's easy to spell and pronounce.

Don't get me wrong...I like Ewen's last name, though. In fact, I think our two names together sound very nice, and I'm looking forward to using both.

[ChristinaM 0]

Pax, I have a colleague who has been married for nearly 20 years, has been very successful with her maiden name and has only recently (in the last year) used her married name professionally. Granted, it is "Raczkowski", though!

How do you pronounce that? Ratch-kowski?

"Razz-cow-ski"

She works in the cube next to me, and I hear her spell it out at least five times a day, every day!

[Fuzzness 2]

Pax, I have a colleague who has been married for nearly 20 years, has been very successful with her maiden name and has only recently (in the last year) used her married name professionally. Granted, it is "Raczkowski", though!

How do you pronounce that? Ratch-kowski?

"Razz-cow-ski"

She works in the cube next to me, and I hear her spell it out at least five times a day, every day!

Ahh... americanized pronunciation

[babybunny 2]

I dont think I wanted to keep my Ex husbands last name anyway.

I was happy to change my name. only part that sucks is having to get a brand new passport paying that 65.00 again..

[aussiewench 9]

I have gone from my maiden to 1st married name...to 2nd married name then back to my maiden name.....now to my hubby's name and Im not doing all that name change stuff EVER again

[CarolineM 0]

It's possible I read things into certain responses that weren't there, I'll grant that. It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage.

Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

As one of the ones who BUGS you, that's pretty crappy of you to say something like that. If you feel that it's a commentary on YOUR Reasons for or for not taking your husband's name...that's your own issue. Don't project on others your own issues, please.

Sorry I BUG you so much. YOu say that you don't want to make one choice more "valid" than another, yet my reasons for my choice basically are wrong in your eyes??

I mean how would you feel if I said, "Anyone who doesn't change their name to be more "professional" bugs me..."

it'd prob. tick you off.

[chocolaterie 1]

i kept my maiden name. It's a cultural thing, many Asian women do it. And I miss my family terribly, so it's the only thing I feel that ties me to them.

[pax 1]

Whoa. Hold up. I'm not commenting on people's reasons for making the change, whatever they are. I'm commenting on the fact that I feel that the reason for making the change ought to be a personal one, as yours clearly was, and one that ought not to be extrapolated to anyone else facing the choice.

I'm all for people doing whatever makes them comfortable in the names department. You personally do not bug me.

[Lou Lou 1]

I kept my name 1. for professional reasons and 2. I just find the whole taking his name thing outdated and corny. Just my opinion

If there would have been any name change, we would have probably argued a lot and then settled on choosing an altogether new name for the both of us. I still gag internally when someone calls me "Mrs". I aint never gonna get used to that one. Maybe I'm just too fiercely independant?

[CarolineM 0]

But actually you WERE commenting on people's reasons for making the change....

[ChristinaM 0]

I had to change both my names

first and last name.

I was happy about changing my last name . as far as my first name I was happy

he picked a name that was cute and that came from his heart. I saw it as romantic.

Shon, I'm interested as to why you changed your first name because I've never heard of anyone doing that because they got married before. Is it a cultural thing?

[pax 1]

I wasn't, actually. I was commenting on the way people phrased it.

[CarolineM 0]

and I know I don't PERSONALLY bug you - just my choice and my reasons for my choice.

[Fuzzness 2]

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!