Jump to content
scy

Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

371 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted

Personally I'd rather have the last name of the man who loves me than the father who left my mother and me when I was age 5. It was the only reminder of him left...so there ya go...couldn't have been happier to get rid of it. :yes: Also, I knew how happy it was going to make him, to have me carry his name. It is a special part of the traditional ritual (to me) of two becoming one. :wub:

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

  • Replies 370
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

I could have kept my previous married name (to be the same as my children, but they're all grown up now anyways) or I could have taken my husband's name..... it was completely up to me.

But, I asked my husband to be VERY truthful about his preference, and he said he would like it if I took his name, so that's what I did.

The first 6 letters are the same in both names, if you can believe it!!!!! Was very hard to get used to signing the new "similar" name that I had signed for 22 years prior to marrying my new husband.

"THE SHORT STORY"

KURT & RAYMA (K-1 Visa)

Oct. 9/03... I-129F sent to NSC

June 10/04... K-1 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

July 31/04... Entered U.S.

Aug. 28/04... WEDDING DAY!!!!

Aug. 30/04... I-485, I-765 & I-131 sent to Seattle

Dec. 10/04... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport stamped)

Sept. 9/06... I-751 sent to NSC

May 15/07... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Sept. 13/07... N-400 sent to NSC

Aug. 21/08... Interview - PASSED!!!!

Sept. 2/08... Oath Ceremony

Sept. 5/08... Sent in Voter Registration Card

Sept. 9/08... SSA office to change status to "U.S. citizen"

Oct. 8/08... Applied in person for U.S. Passport

Oct. 22/08... U.S. Passport received

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!

KAELY (K-2 Visa)

Apr. 6/05... DS-230, Part I faxed to Vancouver Consulate

May 26/05... K-2 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

Sept. 5/05... Entered U.S.

Sept. 7/05... I-485 & I-131 sent to CLB

Feb. 22/06... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport NOT stamped)

Dec. 4/07... I-751 sent to NSC

May 23/08... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Mar. 22/11.... N-400 sent to AZ

June 27/11..... Interview - PASSED!!!

July 12/11..... Oath Ceremony

We're NOT lawyers.... just your average folks who had to find their own way!!!!! Anything we post here is simply our own opinions/suggestions/experiences and should not be taken as LAW!!!!

Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Sweden
Timeline
Posted

At this point I have kept my maiden name ... because I can't even pronounce my husbands last name correctly :P

I-130

2005-09-23 Sent I-130.

2005-10-05 I-130 NOA1

2006-02-19 *touched*

2006-02-21 RFE

2006-03-09 RFE received by CSC

2006-03-29 I-130 NOA2

2006-03-31 *touched*

2006-04-01 *touched*

2006-04-12 NVC assigned case number

I-129F

2005-11-18 I-129F Sent

2005-11-29 I-129F NOA1

2005-12-27 I-129F RFE :(

2006-01-13 I-129F RFE Reply sent.

2006-01-25 *touched*

2006-01-26 I-129F RFE received

2006-04-04 *touched*

2006-04-04 NOA2 **approved!!!**

2006-04-20 NVC assigned case number

2006-04-21 case forwarded to embassy

2006-04-26 packet 3 received

2006-05-02 packet 3 sent

2006-05-04 packet 4 received

2006-05-15 Interview in Stockholm **APPROVED**

2006-05-23 My sweetie is coming home!!

Posted

I had to admit, I gave the name thing a lot of thought. It was not an easy decision for me. Particularly since I am professionally established under my maiden name, and if I'm to continue to publish after I get married, I'll probably continue to publish under my maiden name.

What I think is going to happen is that once Ewen and I have our "nice" wedding in a year or two (we're just having a quick civil ceremony for now), I will add on his last name but continue to use my maiden name as a middle name, so I'll use both legally (without the hyphen). And I'll continue to publish under my maiden name. It's a nice compromise, I think.

But it is a highly personal decision. I know women who have not taken their husbands' names and are still quite excellent and devoted wives and mothers. I do not think it's wise or generous to construe that a woman is somehow less dedicated to her marriage because she declines to take her husband's name. I don't want to be thought of as "his" just on the basis of a name.

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted
But it is a highly personal decision. I know women who have not taken their husbands' names and are still quite excellent and devoted wives and mothers. I do not think it's wise or generous to construe that a woman is somehow less dedicated to her marriage because she declines to take her husband's name. I don't want to be thought of as "his" just on the basis of a name.

Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

Posted (edited)
Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?

No one has come right out and said it, but there's been an awful lot of implication.

Edited by pax

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posted
I had to admit, I gave the name thing a lot of thought. It was not an easy decision for me. Particularly since I am professionally established under my maiden name, and if I'm to continue to publish after I get married, I'll probably continue to publish under my maiden name.

What I think is going to happen is that once Ewen and I have our "nice" wedding in a year or two (we're just having a quick civil ceremony for now), I will add on his last name but continue to use my maiden name as a middle name, so I'll use both legally (without the hyphen). And I'll continue to publish under my maiden name. It's a nice compromise, I think.

But it is a highly personal decision. I know women who have not taken their husbands' names and are still quite excellent and devoted wives and mothers. I do not think it's wise or generous to construe that a woman is somehow less dedicated to her marriage because she declines to take her husband's name. I don't want to be thought of as "his" just on the basis of a name.

I agree. It doesn't seem like changing one's name is a very rational thing to do from a work/legal perspective. I mean, why create hassles for yourself. You are the same person, no matter which name you have.

But then again, humans do a lot of irrational thing in the name of love and family.

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted
No one has come right out and said it, but there's been an awful lot of implication.

Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?

*shrug* I guess I don't read it that way...but it doesn't really matter...as long as you do what makes you happy and who cares if someone else has a different opinion of it. :thumbs::yes:

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

Posted

Aye, well, there's something we can all agree on. :thumbs:

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Filed: Country: Singapore
Timeline
Posted

Stayed with my maiden name because:

1. Singapore immigration authorities require me to return to get a new passport made if I changed my name. I'm practical ... and supremely lazy.

2. It's the very last and most significant tie I have to my father, who passed away 4 years ago. I was very close to him. And he was only 56. But he died a very, very contented man.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: England
Timeline
Posted

I just asked my hubby if he would have minded if I'd kept my maiden name and he said that he would have been hurt if I hadn't taken his. He followed it up with "You're MY little wife!"

Horses for courses though, and I by no means meant to imply that it's anything than a personal choice. I apologise if I came across that way.

Make sure you're wearing clean knickers. You never know when you'll be run over by a bus.

Filed: Timeline
Posted
No one has come right out and said it, but there's been an awful lot of implication.
Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?
*shrug* I guess I don't read it that way...but it doesn't really matter...as long as you do what makes you happy and who cares if someone else has a different opinion of it. :thumbs::yes:

I agree, Frances. I did not read any of that implied (other than in the article that Christina posted a link to) in any of the reponses. I thought folks just explain what motivates them to change or not change names upon marriage.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

I want to have the same name as my children, that's my practical reasoning at least. I know a few friends of mine have had hassles at emergency rooms and such with their children who have their father's last name.

Other than that... I just wanted to.

AOS

August 30, 2005 - AOS, , AP applications mailed to Chicago Lockbox

September 9, 2005 - NOA's for AOS, AP, (dated Sept. 1)

November 28, 2005 - AOS biometrics - refused EAD biometrics at the same time

December 5, 2005 - AP approved

December 7, 2005 - Infopass appointment for interim EAD

December 12, 2005 - Received EAD card

December 13, 2005 - Received AP

June 14, 2005 - Case Status Inquiry/Tracer

June 19, 2005 - Letter sent to congressman

AOS INTERVIEW SCHEDULED FOR AUGUST 8, 2006

AOS approved - August 8th, 2006 - hooray - done with USCIS for now!

GREENCARD RECEIVED - August 18, 2006

 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...