Fiancee Got Arrested, Serious Question to Ask

[Greenbaum 12,260]

It's not ours to judge where he got the money. He paid his debt and he is supposedly up to date. He must for AOS adjustment that he meets the financial guidelines to complete the AOS processing.

The beneficiary and the petitioner need to talk about this. The fact the he was arrested should not effect further processing of their AOS.

Like what someone said, keep your eyes wide open. There maybe more to this then you know. Further, when you marry him, the ex wife is coming along. Are you prepared for that. A western ex wife can be problematic.

[Leatherneck 693]

Yes, that is correct.

Child support obligations are like any other debt in this process, it is not held against you. Income is what matters, not debt.

Edited May 21, 2014 by Leatherneck

[bobela 2]

It's not ours to judge where he got the money. He paid his debt and he is supposedly up to date. He must for AOS adjustment that he meets the financial guidelines to complete the AOS processing.

The beneficiary and the petitioner need to talk about this. The fact the he was arrested should not effect further processing of their AOS.

Like what someone said, keep your eyes wide open. There maybe more to this then you know. Further, when you marry him, the ex wife is coming along. Are you prepared for that. A western ex wife can be problematic.

He is still behind with his child support that's why his attorney is trying to help him to reduce it. I was just concern if what happened today(him being arrested) would affect the AOS?

He asked me about this also. But I just couldn't imagine my life now without him. I know you would understand how I feel. It makes me sick to my stomach.

[bobela 2]

Yes, that is correct.

Child support obligations are like any other debt in this process, it is not held against you. Income is what matters, not debt.

Thank you. At least this gives us hope.

[Krikit 1,166]

Wouldn't the sequence of events be more like arrest, call a lawyer, pay the $$ (in this case, Dad), release? I'd also be concerned that the fiance takes no responsibility in the demise of the marriage. It is not possible for one spouse to do everything right and the other to do everything wrong. Child support is exactly what it states. It supports the child(ren). His child(ren). There are serious red flags here.

[Greenbaum 12,260]

He is still behind with his child support that's why his attorney is trying to help him to reduce it. I was just concern if what happened today(him being arrested) would affect the AOS?

He asked me about this also. But I just couldn't imagine my life now without him. I know you would understand how I feel. It makes me sick to my stomach.

If this were me I would review all the financial documents that he sent you for the visa interview. I would do the arithmetic so that I was comfortable that he could support you during this process.

If you get to the USA and marry and upon filing your AOS it gets turned down because he can't meet the financial guidelines then you must leave the country to return back to the Philippines. Going over it now to ensure yourself that he does meet the guidelines is going to save a lot of time and disappointment if things don't work out later.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

If this were me I would review all the financial documents that he sent you for the visa interview. I would do the arithmetic so that I was comfortable that he could support you during this process.

If you get to the USA and marry and upon filing your AOS it gets turned down because he can't meet the financial guidelines then you must leave the country to return back to the Philippines. Going over it now to ensure yourself that he does meet the guidelines is going to save a lot of time and disappointment if things don't work out later.

Hence why I'm asking how he got the money. If he took on debt, sure the AOS #s may work but he may not legitimately be able to support them.

[Hank_ 9,174]

If this were me I would review all the financial documents that he sent you for the visa interview. I would do the arithmetic so that I was comfortable that he could support you during this process.

If you get to the USA and marry and upon filing your AOS it gets turned down because he can't meet the financial guidelines then you must leave the country to return back to the Philippines. Going over it now to ensure yourself that he does meet the guidelines is going to save a lot of time and disappointment if things don't work out later.

The I-134 is based on gross income and dependents, debt isn't a factor, so if she got her visa "on paper" they will be fine, even for AOS.

[Caryh 5,206]

This sounds like a case where the husband in the divorce failed to show up for a contested divorce. Child support was set and never paid, so now he's deep in a hole for child support. Or child support stopped being paid, his last known legal address received a summons and he ignored it even if the mail was accepted at that location. Child support is set based on income. How its calculated depends on the location, and it can be pretty high with three kids. But those are his kids and its his responsibility to support them. He was arrested because he ignored the court summons and court orders, leading to a bench warrant. He most likely has been ordered as part of the arrest to appear in court. If someone's income drops, they can petition the courts to reduce child support, but ignoring it will create all types of trouble, as he is learning.

I don't care what he thinks of his ex, she could be the worst woman in the world in his opinion, but he's the one who has failed to do the right thing and see to his own children's support. This is a huge red flag. Speaks to the character of a person. You love him now, but somehow I think we'll see you back in the future under the changes in family section, although I truly hope we don't.

Edited May 21, 2014 by Caryh

[Leatherneck 693]

Not necessarily Caryh. Depending on the state/county and other details, one can start out in the hole with back child support.

With an original support order, from day one, I was $10,000 in arrears. Having never missed a payment once served, in 4 years of bi-weekly payroll garnishments that $10,000 grew to over $25,000 with state mandated annual 10% interest and $300.00 added each month that exceeded the state maximum amount for garnishments.

Not knowing the details here -- its hard to know why the $7300 was ordered.

[Caryh 5,206]

Not necessarily Caryh. Depending on the state/county and other details, one can start out in the hole with back child support.

With an original support order, from day one, I was $10,000 in arrears. Having never missed a payment once served, in 4 years of bi-weekly payroll garnishments that $10,000 grew to over $25,000 with state mandated annual 10% interest and $300.00 added each month that exceeded the state maximum amount for garnishments.

Not knowing the details here -- its hard to know why the $7300 was ordered.

Point taken.

[Leatherneck 693]

Point taken.

BTW -- Happy Belated Birthday! Saw it on another forum.

Sorry guys -- not wanting to wreck this thread.

Edited May 21, 2014 by Leatherneck

[bobela 2]

The I-134 is based on gross income and dependents, debt isn't a factor, so if she got her visa "on paper" they will be fine, even for AOS.

Thank you Hank. I know you always answer things straight to the point. You've always been a great help!

[bobela 2]

Not necessarily Caryh. Depending on the state/county and other details, one can start out in the hole with back child support.

With an original support order, from day one, I was $10,000 in arrears. Having never missed a payment once served, in 4 years of bi-weekly payroll garnishments that $10,000 grew to over $25,000 with state mandated annual 10% interest and $300.00 added each month that exceeded the state maximum amount for garnishments.

Not knowing the details here -- its hard to know why the $7300 was ordered.

Maybe those people who went through this would understand our situation. Thank you for backing me up on this.

[Rich and Wen 101]

I would ask for everyone on here to reserve judgment, without knowing the facts.

In this country, the government sees men as guilty until proven innocent, even many posters here feel that way.

My own situation is similar in many ways, even though I ALWAYS supported my son in every way, and had custody 49% of the time, as spelled out in the Joint Parenting Agreement. Meaning, he was physically in my home, and I never ducked my responsibility. Add in the amount of time we spent out of town on different trips, and I had him over 50%.

My ex-wife was all about how much money she could get from me, and how little she could spend on him.

There was a child support order entered at a court date I was not at, because it had been rescheduled. Then that support order was stricken, but DCFS still had me on the hook for the money. It climbed to $5500, all the while I was fighting in court (and paying for lawyers) and still supporting my son. I worked as much overtime as I could, so I could support him and my family.

The Catch-22 here is that a child support order is based on your entire income, overtime and all. But going to court regularly means that you can't work your off days, so your income goes down.

I vacationed in Costa Rica (while my son was on a class trip to Russia that I paid for), my passport was stolen, and when I went to the US Embassy to get a replacement, they told me, "You owe $5500 child support." So they gave me a passport good only for 3 days, and only for entry to the US.

Still fighting the support order, still paying lawyers, and still supporting my son, DCFS took the $5500 out of my bank account. At great financial, mental, and emotional cost. this was straightened out, the money was refunded, and I got custody of my son(3 years ago). Even now, Cook County has me owing money for still having an open support order, which I thought I cleared up last year. I'm sure they will take some of my tax refund to pay it. Now I must take a day off work to try to fix it again.

If someone else came here on VJ with a story like that, I wouldn't believe it either. But it really happened to me, and no embellishments.