need urgent help

[kkk1 42]

My wife is an us citizen. Earlier we had great relationship. Our I130 has been approved and is with NVC. Since from 20 days. We recieved an email from nvc (invoice). Since four months my wife become alcoholic and i tried hard to stop her from alcohol. I love my wife a lot but she is not ready to listen. I have sent her visa fees of 318 usd . And she used this in drinking. She rarely talking to me and she even dont want to visit my place. I dont know what to do and how to stop her. Is there any way i can pay the fees because there is clear instruction that fees can be paid by us financial institute only. I really want her to stop or else i would have taken divorce for this irresponsible behaivour but i dont want to go to that point. Please give me some advice what should i do now.

[Ryan H 3,834]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Progress Reports to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum; issues such as those raised by the OP are usually discussed in this forum.

[bkghosh 121]

My wife is an us citizen. Earlier we had great relationship. Our I130 has been approved and is with NVC. Since from 20 days. We recieved an email from nvc (invoice). Since four months my wife become alcoholic and i tried hard to stop her from alcohol. I love my wife a lot but she is not ready to listen. I have sent her visa fees of 318 usd . And she used this in drinking. She rarely talking to me and she even dont want to visit my place. I dont know what to do and how to stop her. Is there any way i can pay the fees because there is clear instruction that fees can be paid by us financial institute only. I really want her to stop or else i would have taken divorce for this irresponsible behaivour but i dont want to go to that point. Please give me some advice what should i do now.

Although fund have to be paid from a US institution it does not have to be your wife (petitioner). You can have another person (family, friend) in the US pay it. You can also pay by Money Order or Cashier's check. Please check the NVC website for Alternative Payment Method:

http://travel.state.gov/content/visas/english/immigrate/immigrant-process/documents/fees/alternate-method-of-payment.html

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

This is just an advice. It is very hard to stop someone from drinking if they themselves don't want the change. Right now you are at your early stages of your immigration, and I think you'd be better off to cancel this whole process and don't continue your relationship wth her. You'll find someone else later down the road who will love you truly whether this is going to give you the benefit of immigrating to the US, or will be someone from Singapore. If you continue on this path, there will be a point where USCIS will question the same way why you sticked around so long, was is the sole reason of just getting a green card. I'm not saying I believe this is the case, but there could be a point where USCIS will be thinking this and give you a hard time. SHe won't stop drinking just because you want her to stop. She'll stop drinking if she decides on her own whether you'll be still around, or not. And also, she may never stop but only going go get worse. I would consider revoking this whole thing and just move on with your life. You are lucky it is at this stage that things went bad and not when you already have a house with her, and three kids who are in their elementary school stages.I would not mess up my own life, and put myself into a situation where I'll regret later on, or simply USCIS will call me a visa cheater and not only deny me, but ban me from the US as well. It's not worth it (to me)! Anyway, whatever you do, all the best!

[Sandra G. 5,079]

You can't make her stop drinking,it does not work in this way. In order for her to recover from alcoholism she has to get the support she needs. If she is a long term alcoholic she may need supervises detoxification, if she started drinking just a few months ago then she should enroll in an alcohol treatment and recover program.

My opinion you should stop all immigration process now, and once she gets treatment and become sober again then you think again about the possibility to sponsor her.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

The alcholic wife was sponsoring HIM...he is the foreign national. Either way, you had the same recommendation that there's no point of going further with immigration...it'll only bite him in the back at the end by USCIS for suspecting immigration fraud...

You can't make her stop drinking,it does not work in this way. In order for her to recover from alcoholism she has to get the support she needs. If she is a long term alcoholic she may need supervises detoxification, if she started drinking just a few months ago then she should enroll in an alcohol treatment and recover program.

My opinion you should stop all immigration process now, and once she gets treatment and become sober again then you think again about the possibility to sponsor her.

[Zergrush 2]

Umm. This is his WIFE. I don't understand how some people on this forum can tell someone to break off a marriage so easily. Heck, it's difficult enough if a couple is engaged. But you're asking someone to give up on their spouse, when they've already taken the vow to love each other in sickness and in health?

OP, I suggest you take the useful advice given to you by bkghosh. Don't give up on the process. It's possible to be with your spouse eventually and once you are with her, you can be there to support her every step of the way so she can give up the alcohol.

Good luck.

[Sandra G. 5,079]

People do not stop drinking because you give them moral support, hold their hands, keep your marriage vows, people conquer an addiction with treatment, and if the person does not want any intervention, then there is no way the person will get sober.