meeting requirement

[bostonparis 0]

I'm sorry, but you ARE going to marry someone

Because you said "and we have to wait and wait", which felt like to me that you were personally offended and injured by me as a "couple", thus invalidating my existance as a couple and my feelings to boot. I lost it because when you go to the main visa website, it is a confusing mess, that makes it look like you have to file this kind of visa if you are romantically interested in someone or it is fraud. So i searched and found this website, and posted a question. and from the gate, I start getting reamed about not only my relationship and that we are not a "real couple", but how valid are my physical issues and if you "really loved him" you would kill yourself to fly to mexico.

You shouldn't let what anyone says to you on the internet "invalidate" your existence as a couple. It's the internet - not real life. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Edited January 6, 2007 by bostonparis

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

no, it doesn't- just got tired of having my sh** jumped I am sorry for the confusion, and for going off.

and thanks for the point to the latin-american forum. We will proceed as previously planned with the tourist visa and take it from there.

[kitkat1 5]

The visa is not a binding contract to marry- to the contrary, it just means if you want to stay here, you have to get married in 90 days. Obviously, he is free to return to mexico at any time, he is not a prisoner here, nor just because he was here, would we HAVE to get married, either on of us could decide to wait, and not do that, or have him return to Mexico etc.

this seems like a hellish process

Just so you understand, as rebeccajo pointed out, it's true that the visa is not a "binding contract to marry" but it is not a try-it-and-see visa. You both sign letters of intent to marry and while it's not exactly a hellish process, it can be long and difficult so you would obviously want to be 100% that you ARE going to marry before you go through it.

Just an FYI, Mexico is actually one of the easier consulates to deal with in terms of fiance visa interviews - once the approved petition has been received in Ciudad Juarez and processed, there is no waiting for an appointment - the fiance goes when he has received the packet from CDJ and has all of the necessary paperwork. This is much easier than many other countries and it possible you could get through the entire process in as little as six months.

Tourist visas to the US for Mexicans, on the other hand, are extremely difficult to get.

You'll find a wealth of information on the CDJ experience here: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=37896 and you should become very familiar with the CDJ site: http://ciudadjuarez.usconsulate.gov/wwwhivfi.html and the USCIS site: http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/ty...types_1315.html

[mybackpages 0]

no, it doesn't- just got tired of having my sh** jumped I am sorry for the confusion, and for going off.

and thanks for the point to the latin-american forum. We will proceed as previously planned with the tourist visa and take it from there.

your going off means you will fit in right her at VJ like home. We all have lost it at one point or another in this process. Again welcome to the board and good luck!

[rebeccajo 14]

From what i have seen research wise so far, this seems like a hellish process, so i would not be surprised if the failure to activate has quite a lot to do with what Angilla suggested. That the stress and strain of it all can make it just too hard.

Well, in all fairness, it sounds like you just started researching today. If so you are presently on "information overload" and yeah - it does seem like a lot at first. I remember the first night I decided to look for a "boyfriend visa" and came up empty-handed, confused, and bleary-eyed from reading.

Take it one step at a time and it won't seem so bad.

[rebeccajo 14]

Tourist visas to the US for Mexicans, on the other hand, are extremely difficult to get.

KitKat! Boy am I glad you showed up!

Your point above is what I was thinking but since I'm no Mexico expert, I didn't want to further upset the OP by my opining in that regard.

Edited January 6, 2007 by rebeccajo

[bostonparis 0]

From what i have seen research wise so far, this seems like a hellish process, so i would not be surprised if the failure to activate has quite a lot to do with what Angilla suggested. That the stress and strain of it all can make it just too hard.

Well, in all fairness, it sounds like you just started researching today. If so you are presently on "information overload" and yeah - it does seem like a lot at first. I remember the first night I decided to look for a "boyfriend visa" and came up empty-handed, confused, and bleary-eyed from reading.

Take it one step at a time and it won't seem so bad.

rebeccajo, I did the same thing! LOL!! "boyfriend visa"!!

[rebeccajo 14]

From what i have seen research wise so far, this seems like a hellish process, so i would not be surprised if the failure to activate has quite a lot to do with what Angilla suggested. That the stress and strain of it all can make it just too hard.

Well, in all fairness, it sounds like you just started researching today. If so you are presently on "information overload" and yeah - it does seem like a lot at first. I remember the first night I decided to look for a "boyfriend visa" and came up empty-handed, confused, and bleary-eyed from reading.

Take it one step at a time and it won't seem so bad.

rebeccajo, I did the same thing! LOL!! "boyfriend visa"!!

Hell yes! Hahahahahahahaah!!!

I remember sitting there reading and going "omg the only way we can REALLY be together for an extended time is to get married".

Just the kind of news every woman wants to break to her new boyfriend. You know how they 'bolt' when they hear the "M" word!!!

[bostonparis 0]

Hell yes! Hahahahahahahaah!!!

I remember sitting there reading and going "omg the only way we can REALLY be together for an extended time is to get married".

Just the kind of news every woman wants to break to her new boyfriend. You know how they 'bolt' when they hear the "M" word!!!

For the longest time, we just pretended that we were in a "see you when I see you" kind of relationship, even though we travelled at least every two months, for a least a week, to see each other. When we finally got to the point where we knew it was more than that, we both did "homework" independent of one another. I can remember the phone call... "Ahhhhnsheylah... we are going to get married!" I was glad HE said it and not ME!!

[rebeccajo 14]

...... I can remember the phone call... "Ahhhhnsheylah... we are going to get married!" I was glad HE said it and not ME!!

Oh lucky you! I was the one who first brought it up!!

I got the typical "ummmm......I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of step". You can about imagine how the rest of the conversation went.

But then again, I was dealing with a 41 year old bachelor. Plus we hadn't met face-to-face yet. We were both trying to figure out how we could manage our relationship if our upcoming face-to-face worked out. NEITHER of us wanted to 'jump the gun' but we also knew that long-distance wasn't for us.

I will tell you this - we filed the K1 with every intention of marrying BUT.....we filed it at the beginning of a second long visit for him to the US. He made it fairly clear to me that this visit was in no small part a 'test' - not only to make sure we were doing the right thing personally but to see if he felt 'comfortable' in America.

I remember having several conversations about how we loved each other enough to let each other go if things didn't work. It would have been painful but we would have broken it off even after filing if things seemed amiss.

Now, almost two and one-half years after meeting online, we sit here together in America. Both underemployed and poor as hell!! It must be LUV!

Edited January 6, 2007 by rebeccajo

[bostonparis 0]

...... I can remember the phone call... "Ahhhhnsheylah... we are going to get married!" I was glad HE said it and not ME!!

Oh lucky you! I was the one who first brought it up!!

I got the typical "ummmm......I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of step". You can about imagine how the rest of the conversation went.

But then again, I was dealing with a 41 year old bachelor. Plus we hadn't met face-to-face yet. We were both trying to figure out how we could manage our relationship if our upcoming face-to-face worked out. NEITHER of us wanted to 'jump the gun' but we also knew that long-distance wasn't for us.

I will tell you this - we filed the K1 with every intention of marrying BUT.....we filed it at the beginning of a second long visit for him to the US. He made it fairly clear to me that this visit was in no small part a 'test' - not only to make sure we were doing the right thing personally but to see if he felt 'comfortable' in America.

I remember having several conversations about how we loved each other enough to let each other go if things didn't work. It would have been painful but we would have broken it off even after filing if things seemed amiss.

Now, almost two and one-half years after meeting online, we sit here together in America. Both underemployed and poor as hell!! It must be LUV!

Well, I'm 10 years older than him, and have two marriages under my belt, so I sure wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. We had met while I was vacationing with a girlfriend in Paris. I honestly thought I'd never see him again. And here he comes, giving up everything he has there. You're right - it must be LUV!

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

*rubs very tired and very sore head* ok....so now what i am reading is that a tourist visa from mexico can't be gotten? or is just virtually impossible to get LOL. yes...basically almost looking for a boyfriend visa LOL. trying to find a way for us to be together, as for multiple reasons, I cannot go THERE at this time. (please anyone late to this conversation don't pick at me not going there- can't take anymore today, suffice it to say that it is not an option and leave it at that) he had a tourist visa, but it expired. so he needs a new one. is this too hard to get, even if he can proove all kinds of ties of work and school and bank accounts and such there? or are you all telling me that it sucks to be us, give up being with each other? *is soooooooooo confused at this point and needing help to understand wth we are supposed to do now*

[rebeccajo 14]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, kitkat1, where are you?

[jsnearline 2]

he had a tourist visa, but it expired. so he needs a new one. is this too hard to get, even if he can proove all kinds of ties of work and school and bank accounts and such there?

If he had a tourist visa previously, that increases the odds that he may be able to get another one, provided that he never overstayed when he was in the US, because it shows that he came here and went home again.

I'd say the chances are better that he could get another tourist visa than you getting a waiver for the K1 meeting requirement. Since the meeting requirment for the K1 does not require you to go there (he can come here to meet the requirement) it is almost impossible to get a waiver.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Phedre,

I don't know about the particular circumstances with Mexicans, however, he can certainly try for a visitor's visa - nothing ventured, nothing gained. What he needs to do is to provide a good reason for his visit, and substantiated evidence that it is in his current best interests (usually due to financial or personal reasons) to return to Mexico rather than stay in the US. Generally, this means providing proof of his financial and property ties in Mexico - proof of employment via a letter from his employer stating your fiance is employed with xxx company and acknowledging your fiancee is authorized to be away from work for xxx days and will be visiting the US on holidays, returning to his employment on xxx date; property deeds or mortgages for residences or other type of real estate and property, ongoing accounts such as utilities for a residence, insurance for an automobile, and other evidence of financial ties that can't be broken easily from a distance; other examples include income that he would forfeit (ie. a pension) if he left the country; children or elderly parents for whom he is financially and physically responsible and who are not accompanying him; registration at a school for course of study after his intended date of return, a lease or mortgage; pets who are remaining in Mexico under someone's temporary care - in other words any evidence that shows he is continuing to have a financial and physical life in Mexico. Another important consideration . . when he travels he should only bring enough clothing for the period of time he is intending to come plus the clothing should be appropriate to the weather at that time - in other words, don't bring summer clothing to a winter location in January, or winter clothing in July, nor bring 3 big suitcases for a 2 week visit - those are red flags that will definitely raise some questions.

I am sure others will have some ideas and suggestions. What you want to remember is to try and make it as easy as possible to reassure the border guards that your fiancee is only coming for a visit and has full intention of returning home to resume his life there. If you later file a visa for him to come to the US, it is understood he will then take the necessary actions to terminate or re-direct his financial and property affairs at that time - not before.

If it turns out he is not able to get a visitor's visa, you may then want to try to see if you can visit him. Perhaps your health will improve to such a situation that you will be able to travel. You can always try for the waiver, but as Rebeccajo mentioned, it is almost impossible to obtain. USCIS is not known for its heart or compassion! I do hope all goes well for you. Good luck.

Edited January 7, 2007 by Kathryn41