MY USC FIANCEE HAS CHILD SUPPORT DEBTS

[buckeye1971 0]

You really need to talk to your fiance and get answers. Financial matters are often the cause of divorce. It is much better to get these issues resolved before you get married.

After reading your thoughts and commits on what is yours and what will be his. I think this is the best advice yet. Your going down a one way road with no exits and an unfinished bridge up ahead.

[PorknBeanz 0]

Granted... Love is blind, but purposely adding deaf and dumb won't make it any better.

The things he doesn't want to talk about are exactly the things you have to talk about. You just don't want to know the answers.

Restructuring your finances so you can marry a deadbeat dad sounds a bit kooky to me.

[Porsche911ss 0]

I have never seen so much heinous and malicious trash talk in one post. Some of your fiances' should take notice of your own past agendas, i.e. the threat of incarceration of the childs other parent. That really helps!! There are many reasons why one may become in arrears (intentional or unavoidable). Extensive acrimonious litigation is certaily one of them. It is called bitterness - similar to some of the writings I read in this post. The altruistic child care act has been abused at all levels by many on both sides, and by both genders. And NO it does not impact the spouses financial or assets portfolio provided it is in their own name.

Her question was "WILL IT AFFECT THE PROCESS." The process requires his current and past income to show stability and that you will not become a ward of the state. The process does not ask for income/ debt ratio. The fact that child care arrears in large sums has the potential to become a serious legal matter beyond contempt of court, you will want to know to what level and degree it is now and when you interview such that it has not become part of the process. What he should not do is go into court and say he has an inability to subsist to waive the arrears, while on the other hand sign off on an affidavit of support for you.

Personally I don't care if you are walking into a land mine field or a potential great life together not governed by economics, but I do wish you good luck my friend.

[KarenCee 3]

I remember that post about him not working since May 05 and you supporting him.

This has "run away, fast" all over it.

Just to make sure we don't all have the wrong idea here, is your fiance disabled and unable to work?

I'd get a job flipping burgers to support my kids if I had to... (In theory, because I don't have kids)

I thought I remembered reading that too....Oh yeah, this sounds like a "run, and run fast" thing. Once you two are married, how do you know he won't pressure you to pay his CS for him, using the "you're my wife" excuse? Sure, its HIS debt, but I dunno.....I would have a hard time trusting someone in that situation.

Just MHO.....

[Cristy 4]

Some of your fiances' should take notice of your own past agendas, i.e. the threat of incarceration of the childs other parent. That really helps!! There are many reasons why one may become in arrears (intentional or unavoidable). Extensive acrimonious litigation is certaily one of them. It is called bitterness - similar to some of the writings I read in this post. The altruistic child care act has been abused at all levels by many on both sides, and by both genders. And NO it does not impact the spouses financial or assets portfolio provided it is in their own name

My fiance has the same morals as I do. He takes care of his children, he has custody of his son. And takes care of his daughter (not bio). He would say the same as I, that is one of the million reasons I love him.

[ChristinaM 0]

It will affect their life together tough, and maybe it's wisest to think of all the implications BEFORE you marry someone. You may not care about other peoples landmines, Porsche, but some of us do.

[Peter Miami 0]

You should think of this situation very closely.

Good luck,

Peter Miami

[New Yorker 0]

Hello guys,

This morning, Ive got the necessary strong and talked with My fiance about all this. We had a respectful conversation and he finally! told me what his CS debt is.. I was afaid, but is not big. He explained his reasons why he is not paying and even I respect that, I asked him to think in how some bad decissions can affect our future together.. Finally he promise he is going to pay because of his son.. I just tried to make him understand that when a couple has failed, the children still deserve a loving and decent parent.. children will know at the end af all, who loved them, who respected them, who supported them.. So our deal is done, and he is gonna tell me when he has paid everything so we can restart planning things.

Hi christina! and thank you.

thanks Porsche and all. - you are focused.

[ChristinaM 0]

HOORAY! That's great news

I am so pleased that you managed to have a respectful conversation about it - confrontation is always hardest with the person you love.

[Cristy 4]

That is good news. Really important you talked about it.

[buckeye1971 0]

So our deal is done, and he is gonna tell me when he has paid everything so we can restart planning things.

Smoke and mirrors my thought. I remember a year ago my son's mother hit so low she borrowed $40 from me and promised she would pay me back. Still nothing but broking promise's. BEWARE BEWARE and Good Luck

[Mikalie 0]

Hello guys,

This morning, Ive got the necessary strong and talked with My fiance about all this. We had a respectful conversation and he finally! told me what his CS debt is.. I was afaid, but is not big. He explained his reasons why he is not paying and even I respect that, I asked him to think in how some bad decissions can affect our future together.. Finally he promise he is going to pay because of his son.. I just tried to make him understand that when a couple has failed, the children still deserve a loving and decent parent.. children will know at the end af all, who loved them, who respected them, who supported them.. So our deal is done, and he is gonna tell me when he has paid everything so we can restart planning things.

Hi christina! and thank you.

thanks Porsche and all. - you are focused.

Guess I just like playing the Devil's advocate but I was wondering how he is going to pay the back child support if he isn't working. Also, does he intend to start paying the support now on time as well as pay up the back support? I know that we don't know the details of what you discussed but does he have some other source of income that will allow him to do this without getting a job?

Again, I think some of us may come across as being harsh but I think, at least in my case, I have seen acquaintances who have dealt with this very problem and it eventually led to the end of their marriage. Dealing with the issue of children from prior relationships is something that most definitely must be worked out in detail before a new marriage begins or it can come back to bite you in the b***.

[Peter Miami 0]

This is very good news and learn from this incident that you must have total open communication about everything. I am happy for you guys!

Good luck,

Peter Miami

[Cdnwmn 0]

Guess I just like playing the Devil's advocate but I was wondering how he is going to pay the back child support if he isn't working. Also, does he intend to start paying the support now on time as well as pay up the back support? I know that we don't know the details of what you discussed but does he have some other source of income that will allow him to do this without getting a job?

Again, I think some of us may come across as being harsh but I think, at least in my case, I have seen acquaintances who have dealt with this very problem and it eventually led to the end of their marriage. Dealing with the issue of children from prior relationships is something that most definitely must be worked out in detail before a new marriage begins or it can come back to bite you in the b***.

My thoughts exactly.