i am 40 years older than my finance

[godlove 29]

Yes I would and we BOTH don't know this. It's not right to judge someone when you don't know anything about that person, that's all I am saying.

Nobody is judging anyone. And if you could marry someone 40 years older than you then good for you.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

It's a really hard situation cause most of us would never marry with somebody who can be as old as our parents or grandparents. I'm 12 years younger than my husband (Im 26 and he is 38). And even when is not such a great difference, we can help notice the difference between how we are living life. Is not easy, and cant imagine getting married with someone 40 yrs older and not being able to have kids. That's why people may think it can be a fraud but not necesarily. To the OP, the truth is that is going to be very very hard, but you can still marry him and file for cr1. Maybe moving with him for a while sounds like a good idea too.

[Shiobhan 235]

When a man is older than a woman there is the assumption that he is still sexually capable and classic relationship views always have old men marrying much younger woman for protective and reproductive purposes. In many cultures men marrying a bride the age of their grandchildren is very common. Usually a man has things that a young woman is will to accept in return for dealing with an older man , a good deal of wealth and strength in the community.

When it comes to a young man marrying a woman the age of his grandmother, that swims upstream of all social norms. The man is at least for the moment giving up his ability to increase his lineage. Usually woman are not as secure in their old age as men are. Post menopausal women aren't the same sexually as ones still in their child producing years. With over half the non Nigerian 2 Nigerian relationships being fraudulent on the part of the Nigerian every red flag should be carefully examines. These are the people that can sweet talk peoples entire life savings out of their pockets in the chase of hidden treasures that have a few issues in getting to them. There are some legit US /Nigerian couples with decade or more age differences with the woman being older but for every legit one that passes through here there are a dozen where the man will be gone before the ink on the green card is dry. The embassy knows this well and will surely closely investigate his claims of love and if you are not integrated into his family for all your visits then you have little hope of getting him here even with a lengthy AP that is sure to come for field investigations.

Even Ashton dumped Demi )....nothing wrong with being a cougar

but U play with the kid & keep stepping...most men desires kids,even one

just like women....especially men of certain cultures.

The sex can be exciting at first but after pains & stiff joints

takes over may the lord help these females to satisfy a young uns

appetite )

[Nurseling 34]

Even Ashton dumped Demi )....nothing wrong with being a cougar

but U play with the kid & keep stepping...most men desires kids,even one

just like women....especially men of certain cultures.

The sex can be exciting at first but after pains & stiff joints

takes over may the lord help these females to satisfy a young uns

appetite )

Lol that's funny!!

[Chynna/gapamix 11]

I agree with the poster who advised the CR1 route and front load but just be prepared for anything. If it is meant to be no matter what it will be. Best of luck to you and your love.

[rlogan3030 6]

First let me say that I (female Petitioner ) am 21 years older than my husband. Having gone through the process in Lagos and being approved I can try and give you some advice. I thought our age difference was going to be a major red flag but during my husbands interview it was NEVER mentioned. Here is what we did and what I recommend for you. 1. you stated you have been there multiple times and I believe you said for 6 days each time, but when were the visits and when was the last? I would instead of going for 6 days at a time, condense that to1 visit for 18 days. I know you said due to work u had to come home but the consulate doesn't care about that! I went 3 times in 13 months , stays ranging from 3-6 weeks each time. THEY WANT FACE TIME and a lot of it. Also the way of thinking is if you cant afford to travel there frequently then how can you support the beneficiary. 2. Next trip over get married!!!!! Make sure its not a couple days after you arrive and you don't leave within a few days after the marriage. 3. Have a civil ceremony @ the registry, which prohibits polygamy, make sure all of his family is there and get tons of pics. 4.GET TONS of evidence, I mean TONS!!!!! I had submitted so much evidence the consulate called us the day after my husbands interview and had us pick it all up. Some might have said over kill but it worked right????? 5. Have all his family and friends sign affidavits of bona fide marriage as we did. My mother and father in law wrote beautiful statements to submit. Lagos is the hardest consulate to deal with, but if you have all your ducks in a row and are prepared it will help. DO A LOT OF RESEARCH! Much of your answers can be answered here, each case is individual but I can assure you that they will definitely be suspicious of the significant age difference and the validity of your relationship. All you can do is prepare. Remember in Lagos or Abuja the burden of proof is no longer on the consulate but on YOU!!!!. Good luck on your journey!!!!!!!

[gjrunner 0]

Go back there and get married then file for cr1. That's your best and only chance. Two red flags on your shoulders

- The country from wich the beneficiary is from!

-The HUGE gap of age between you.

File for cr1 and frontload your package with tonnes of evidence and hopefully that might work out for both of you.

Good luck

Thank you

[gjrunner 0]

First let me say that I (female Petitioner ) am 21 years older than my husband. Having gone through the process in Lagos and being approved I can try and give you some advice. I thought our age difference was going to be a major red flag but during my husbands interview it was NEVER mentioned. Here is what we did and what I recommend for you. 1. you stated you have been there multiple times and I believe you said for 6 days each time, but when were the visits and when was the last? I would instead of going for 6 days at a time, condense that to1 visit for 18 days. I know you said due to work u had to come home but the consulate doesn't care about that! I went 3 times in 13 months , stays ranging from 3-6 weeks each time. THEY WANT FACE TIME and a lot of it. Also the way of thinking is if you cant afford to travel there frequently then how can you support the beneficiary. 2. Next trip over get married!!!!! Make sure its not a couple days after you arrive and you don't leave within a few days after the marriage. 3. Have a civil ceremony @ the registry, which prohibits polygamy, make sure all of his family is there and get tons of pics. 4.GET TONS of evidence, I mean TONS!!!!! I had submitted so much evidence the consulate called us the day after my husbands interview and had us pick it all up. Some might have said over kill but it worked right????? 5. Have all his family and friends sign affidavits of bona fide marriage as we did. My mother and father in law wrote beautiful statements to submit. Lagos is the hardest consulate to deal with, but if you have all your ducks in a row and are prepared it will help. DO A LOT OF RESEARCH! Much of your answers can be answered here, each case is individual but I can assure you that they will definitely be suspicious of the significant age difference and the validity of your relationship. All you can do is prepare. Remember in Lagos or Abuja the burden of proof is no longer on the consulate but on YOU!!!!. Good luck on your journey!!!!!!!

thank you so much for the advice. I appreciate it!!! yes we are going to get married there in Laogs.

Really?

I don't understand the attraction here either, but I'm not going to judge the couple and trash their relationship with derogatory comments an insensitive humor here. Anyone can do the same with yours no doubt.

Thank you!!! exactly this forum is for helpful suggestions not judgmental opinions.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

I am 37 years older than my Filipina spouse. Of course this is very different than your situation in that we are dealing with very different countries. And of course your age difference is the opposite. I decided to marry her in the Philippines and went with the CR1. I visited her three times in the Philippines in less than 1 year. We had so much documenation and evidence with us at the embassy interview and low and behold no additional evidence was requested. But of course we had submitted our marriage certificate, etc....

I wish you lo=uck and happiness.

Aloha Ke Akua

[gjrunner 0]

Wow. This is a difficult dilemma you face. And each and every input you have received from people here is to be taken in to consideration. While I feel you are at a cross road right now and really don't know what to do I feel you do need to consider the possibility of a denial. If by chance you are approved you also need to consider the possibility that this guy will only stay as long as his green card has not been issued because once that happens it is possible he will leave you and find someone his own age. He is young has no children he probably will want some one day in the future. Not to be disrespectful to his parents but their acceptance of you maybe based on the fact that you can get him a green card. I doubt they would want their child to never produce children in the future. Nigerian culture is different. There have been some instances when a man Marry's a woman his own age and for many years try's to produce and has not been successful . Instantly in the eyes of the family she is barren even before they work out if the problem may be from the mans side as to why they aren't producing. Some parents have been known to go to the house pack the girls cloths and dash her out. Then find him another wife that can produce or find him a second wife. If your man is Muslim this may likely be their intentions in the future. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you do have to think carefully before you go ahead with this. Take this advice from a female nigerian who knows what nigerian culture is like. I suggest you take the advice someone gave you earlier and tell him you will move to Nigeria instead and see if he try's to convince you not to do that or her runs away a short while after you insist your moving. This will give you the answer you seek. I truely hope it works out for you and I hope he is genuine.

he is not muslim and he will not leave when he gets a green card...but thanks for the advice

[gjrunner 0]

how do u know that we are here to give advice and give hope to other CO.. but from what u wrote and a nigerian for that sake u go judging there and thats not good.

thank you....judging ppl is not the answer to the question I was asking...please be helpful not judgmental.

[del-2-5-2014 1,340]

I am 37 years older than my Filipina spouse. Of course this is very different than your situation in that we are dealing with very different countries. And of course your age difference is the opposite. I decided to marry her in the Philippines and went with the CR1. I visited her three times in the Philippines in less than 1 year. We had so much documenation and evidence with us at the embassy interview and low and behold no additional evidence was requested. But of course we had submitted our marriage certificate, etc....

I wish you lo=uck and happiness.

Aloha Ke Akua

Were you allowed to be with your Spouse during the interview?

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Were you allowed to be with your Spouse during the interview?

Gowan,

Aloha, Yes I stood with her and we both got sworn in. It was in US Embassy Manila. Really funny part in our interview was the questions that were asked of me by the American Consulate...

1.) So David you have any children from your previous marriage?

YES, three boys, they are all grown up and live on their own.

2.) So David how old is your oldest son?

36 years old.

3.) So your new wife is almost half the age of your oldest son?

Yes, and he has made fast friends with his new 19 year old step mom on skype.

Then a few moments of silence and stress. The American counsel had a big red pen and made x's over our marriage certificate and several other docs, I mean x's the size of the entire pages. So now we are both sweating. After a 30 second moment of silence the American Counsel says, "CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR VISA IS APPROVED."

Well my wife and I wanted to jump up and down but we managed to control our emotions. But those were perhaps the best words we had heard for a long time. The next great words were when we passed through immigration in Honolulu and the officer there said, "WELCOME TO AMERICA"

Aloha Ke Akua

[chimey123 0]

@Nigerian Queen, that's just mean of you.If you've got nothing solid to contribute then hush it. Follow the trail of replies so far, they all point towards finding a solution . Learn to be sensitive over the cases of others who aren't as fortunate as you are. How do you know the brother is desperate and hungry? ( Lol) --- --*not funny at all.

[chimey123 0]

Congrats bro.