Blonde Jokes Never Stop

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Blonde Jokes Never Stop.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one

blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther

away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says: "Helloooooooooo, can you see

Florida.......?????

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it

died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She

says,"What's the story?"

He replies, "Just ####### in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if

he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get

your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then

today you expect me to show it to you!"

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astonished to see that the blonde behind the wheel

was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and

siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled ,

"PULL OVER!" , "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDES ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian

said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the

Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at

night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She

rolled

the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you

are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,

and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one

was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelOOOooo," answered the blonde, "they're watch dogs!!"

[Fuzzness 2]

love those Lynne, thanks!

[Miranda&James 8]

As a blonde, I think she has a valid point on the first one!

Good jokes!

[raphael7546 0]

Ya know why Brunettes tell Blonde Jokes?

Cuz thats the only kind they can remember.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Ya know why Brunettes tell Blonde Jokes?

Cuz thats the only kind they can remember.

hahahaha!!! priceless!!! i love it!

[Miranda&James 8]

Ya know why Brunettes tell Blonde Jokes?

Cuz thats the only kind they can remember.

They're all just jealous of our beautiful blondness

[Tiksman 1]

A blonde woman was speeding in her little red sports car and was pulled

over by a female police officer ...who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The woman finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to

the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,

"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A blonde decided to rent her first porno.

She went to the video store and picked out a tape with a title that sounded sexy. She drove home , lit some candles, took off all of her clothes, and placed the tape in the VCR. She pressed play on the remote but nothing appeared but static.

She called the video store and complained, "I just rented a porno from you, and there is nothing on the tape but static."

The clerk said, "Sorry about that. Which movie is it?"

The blonde replied, "Head Cleaner."

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener

Edited March 4, 2006 by Tiksman

[Not Available 0]

Hahaha "head cleaner!!"

I've never heard any of these before!

[Anja_and_Henry 1]

All of them are pretty good - thanks

[MaryandMian 1]

[KarenCee 3]

LOL....funny! Although I am a brunette, I have days where I think I'm like this too

[Tiksman 1]

A blonde is sitting on a bus when she notices the headline of the newspaper being read by the gentleman across the aisle: "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed In Combat".

"Excuse me, sir," she says, "but I was just noticing the headline of your newspaper there. That was terrible, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it certainly was."

"I have a question, though."

"Yes?"

"Exactly how many thousands is a 'brazilian'?"

[pri 1]

had a good laugh

[germangel 0]

2 blondes drive along in their car as they see another blonde in a boat in the middle of a field, rowing like crazy.

Says one blonde to the other: "you know, it's blondes like this one who get us this reputation of being stupid"

The other replies: "I know I hate it and I promise you that I'd be kicking her ### if I could swim good enough to reach the boat."

Why do blondes have triangular coffins? - because when the lights go off they automatically spread their legs.

Why do blondes leave the bathroom door open when they go to the bathroom? - so noone can look through the keyhole

[Dixie_Peach 1]