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Hey guys,

First off let me apologize in case I am posting in the wrong section. I am very new to this and I want to take all the measures I need to ensure I get to where I want to be.. Which obviously is the United States.

A little background...

In 2009 on another forum I fell in love which to me was a very strange of it happening because I never imagined I would have feelings for someone over the internet let alone another country / culture but it is what it is... We would talk and keep in touch every single day and I finally mustered the courage to go visit in her America back in 2011 and it was the best experience of my life (being with her) - we are still strong today but we need to decide what's going to happen and we both agreed it would be best if I went to America instead of her coming to NZL

Problem is... Her parents don't know about me because of the culture issue... She does not want to tell them until we have a set plan in motion...

My fear is how is anyone going to believe that we are together? We have texts / emails and photos of us being together but her family not knowing would that affect my journey to go there? What do I need to know or do to make this journey realistic? Right now it's a blur. We also have feared the worst and feel like that they will not accept us being together so we plan to get engaged / married - Are we able to do this? Or do we have to have someones consent? We are both in our mid twenties

Right now I feel like I just landed on another planet and I have absolutely NO IDEA on what to do and even what forum section to post under... Any advise or thoughts would be humbly appreciated...

Thanks in advance everyone,


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*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion forum -- general advice is being sought and no visa path has yet been chosen. ***

(VJ Organizer hat off)

Welcome to VJ! It will feel overwhelming at first, but you can feel at home here.

Others will chime in on your specific situation. It might help if you elaborate on "culture issue" -- what about it in particular?

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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You are from NZ, which is not a high fraud country, so it is unlikely they will ask about her parents or go to interview them. What is important is that you can show a bonafide relationship with her- photos and time spent together, either in your country, the US, or on vacation in a third country; emails, phone bills, chat records, letters and presents sent etc.

One thing to consider: you sound quite young, keep in mind there is a financial aspect to the visa as well.

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

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Sounds like my relationship, wife found me on the web and developed a very strong plantonic relationship. First text messages, video conferences, nightly phone calls, she even quit her Friday night bowling so she could come home to talk to me. Statistics say if you don't meet within 30 days your relationship will end. This went on for nine months for us, wife now was very concerned if meeting in person, it won't work out. But could only reply, we would still be friends and perhaps forever.

Didn't work that way, first time I held her hand was pure magic, the third day we were together, asked her to marry me, she said yes before I could even finish. Parting was pure misery for us. But then I had to learn all about the USCIS to start that long 13 month process. During that time, took on extra jobs realizing the extra expenses involved. And we agreed to never let three months go by without seeing each other. Other complications you don't seem to have is getting permission from an ex to bring a stepdaughter here. Already met my future mother-in-law, she was willing to sell her apartment so her daughter and grand daugther would have a good husband and father. But told her, that wasn't necessary.

You don't know how that is going to work, but as they say, you don't know until you try. Those 13 months did go by, but still seem like an eternity. We had our share of difficulties, but became to believe if its meant to be it will be. We never got into an argument, if either she or I didn't have have a solution, one of us did.

We all the extra work and time involved, did a net search for one of the top US immigration attorneys, the guy I found already written several books on the subject, Called and talk to him, we agreed on a flat fee of $1,500.00 to guide me. When it was all over, was more than happy to send me that check. It was all over when my new wife and stepdaughter received their conditional green cards. That was also a shock to me at the time, after what we went through with the USCIS, only got a conditional card!

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Good luck with your journey I too met my fiancé on another forum we became friends in 2005 and realized in 2009 we both had feelings of more than just friendship, I made a trip to see May 2010 as soon as I saw him in the airport waiting for me I knew I had finally found my soulmate and like Nick D I too felt miserable leaving him at the airport the day I came back to NZ, late 2010 after a long conversation he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I told him if I go back to see him I wont ever want to leave his side again. So here we are started our journey with the I-29F June 2012 still waiting on a decision and yes it can be stressful but knowing what we will both have at the end makes this journey worth while, I advise you do your research on filing your I-29F and make sure you send all that is required. I am a firm believer in following your heart heart.gif


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Ha, since I am an engineer looking constantly for wore case senarios with consideration for product liability, used the same approach for immigration.

If my country, the USA wouldn't take her, would her country take me? Or if not, is there a country that would take both of us? The answer to both questions is yes. If nothing else, helps to relieve the stress of dealing with the USCIS.

Ha, during our AOS interview, in a calm cool collective manner and a smile on our face, if they wouldn't take my wife, other countries will. LOL, this kind of changes the table, and puts them in a competitive position, to want to keep both of us. Call it reverse pyschology.

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