Coping with Seperation

[WelshPete 0]

My fiancee and I spent three months together in the US from August to Early November. Now I am back in England and my fiancee is in the US we seem not to be coping very well at all in the separation. She is finding it hard to live in her apartment where I lived for three months. Obviously my presence is still there and she is finding it very hard to cope. I feel like I have been transported Star Trek style into my old life but everything is different. We MSN most days and keep in touch constantly with email. We sent our application off and received a receipt on Oct 10th. Looking at the timelines it looks like we will receive our NOA2 mid-December. She is planning to come over to England in January but that is so far away. I have tried to be supportive by saying Xmas will break things up, we will be busy it will fly by. But I feel exactly the same as her. I am so depressed and missing her like crazy.

I was just wondering how you guys cope with the inevitable separations in your relationships.

Edited November 26, 2006 by WelshPete

[Mags 112]

MSN, text messages and phone calls. I suggest you also both invest in a web cam. That way you can see each other. It isn't the perfect solution...but does help a little.

It isn't nice being separated from your loved one...but it isn't forever.

Are you going through Vermont btw?

[chloe 1]

Its hard, yes..

but January is just around the corner,

Once, our visa is approved, hopefully in Jan/Early Feb, looking at timelines,

we have to wait until May, before we are reunited..

with the US school holidays, it makes sense to time my 3 month unemployment (EAD)

with the long summer holiday.

Yes, My partner can still visit here, but we both agreed that the money is better

saved, should we need an attourney during the AOS process, or if any other

'surprises' occur...

Its so tough, I know,

good luck and all the best, January will be here before you know it

xchloe

[WelshPete 0]

We originally sent to Nebraska. Obviously we are in California now.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Of course it is difficult, but time always flies. Don't wish away your time, that's what i'd advise, find things to do while you wait.

[MaeandDavid 0]

Being far away from my sweetheart is the hardest thing for me in this world. Just last week, I saw him off the airport and how I wish he didn't have to go. After 3 weeks of being together again (second visit), we've realized that we cannot live without each other. But just like what everybody says, the separation is not permanent especially now that we've finished preparing our paperwork and now ready for mailing. While waiting for the day that we will be reunited, we both make ourselves busy with other things to keep us occupied. We talk on the phone and exchange letters everyday... it's like we're still together. Physically, we're separated but our hearts, minds and souls are one, forever and always. For now, we are contented that we can talk and say how much we love each other through daily phone calls and read our day to day living through letters. Soon, our happiness will be permanently. No more goodbyes.

[Beachmouse 0]

I really understand you. I was also spending 3 month in summer (July-October) with my fiance and it was so hard being back home. We are trying talking as much as possible on the phone and writing E-mails.

I hope time will go over fast for the two of you till January

[mRx 16]

Ive been away from my fiancee for 4 grueling months. Just remember that distance and time apart forges relationships. I wish you the best. Stay open about your feelings and work together to get through this tough time.

Edited November 26, 2006 by matt85

[Detty2809 0]

Hmm.

I have not seen my fiance for...geez... 8 months now and I believe we will not be able to see each other for at least another 4-5 months. For some reason, the American Govt do not let the US military personnels to come to my country.... The first few months of my relationship, it was hard cuz my man is in the military and he was deployed pretty often. It is still hard now, but I kinda feel like I have grown stronger. Every time we re-united after he got back from deployment, we (I especially) felt like we fell in love all over again and always felt deeper than before. And always, we gained more trust in both of us and in our relationship itself.

You will never know how meaningful someone is to you nor whether your relationship is strong enough to face any kind of hurdles ahead, if you have never been away from each other. I know it hurts so bad but, think about when you're going to meet your love the next time. Never look back and stop counting on how long you have been away from each other. Good luck.

[Lizzy 0]

Our K1 took 9 months to come through.

I was with steve for the first 3 months, then i had to go home for a month, then i came back for 2 months and was home 4 months alone...it was hell!!

BUT... its been said before and ill say it again, it does get easier as time goes on, try and do your own thing as well as keeping in touch with your fiancee.

January is not to far away, there is people who have not seen each other for a long time sometimes year to 2 years. Get busy if you can, try and do webcam daily, THAT helped me a lot.

Now im here for good we got wed and we are in the middle of AOS.

Worth it for a life time togther.

[1daysoon 0]

My ,now ,hubby and I started visits to see in 2003 and it was 2005 before the visa came through and we moved here in Aug... we used to have 2 weeks together every 6 months but the wait was worth it ...and it gave us time to make sure that this was what we really wanted...

stay strong

Ange

[KarenCee 3]

WelshPete,

I do know what you and your fiancée are going through. My husband and I did the K1 route as well. Separation is the hardest part of this whole thing because when you're not with your beloved, it feels as if a part of you is missing. Webcams helped tremendously as did phone calls and emails. During our time apart we spent chatting to each other EVERY night. It was an excellent way of getting to know each other in a deeper way than ever before. When you are apart, communication is ALL you have...it's essential for keeping an LDR going. We were separated, at times, for five months straight. All those airport goodbyes were so very hard on our hearts. Constant communication....that's the best advice I can give. Joel and I are so connected in so many ways that even from a distance I could tell when he felt bad, or something was bothering him. It was the same for him, where I am concerned. Now that he's finally here (it took about a total of 6 months) our communication is just as strong, if not better, than before. The distance made us stronger, very committed to each other. Maybe if she comes here to VJ we could help her through this too....that's what we're here for. One of the things that got us through this (and those awful airport partings) was the definate knowledge that this is ONLY temporary, this separation thing.

Best wishes to you both....it's gonna be ok.

[Ladylethal 12]

Luis and I visited each other every 5 months until we decided to go for the K1, after being together for over 3 years. We knew we'd be appart until the visa came through 'cus we had to save money to start life together. We were appart for 8 months and it was too tough, but we love each other so much we could get through it all knowing that it was the last trial we had, that after that separation we'd be together forever.

Phone calls, MSN, web cam, skype, we did all we could to be as together as I could.

[Reba 2]

After I had spent 5 1/2 months here with my hubby and then had to return to Canada to wait out the rest of the K3 process (which took another 5 months ) I spent the time with family and friends whom I knew I wouldn't get to see a lot of after I left.

Its horrible to be apart from the one you love, but there are other people who love you and who are going to miss you when you move to the States. Spend some time with them.

[Fandango 1,440]

Of course it is difficult, but time always flies. Don't wish away your time, that's what i'd advise, find things to do while you wait.

Best single piece of advise I've seen yet!

So many times we all just wish the wait was over....and yes, in a perfect world there'd be no separation. But utilize the time you have...catch up with your friends/fam enjoy your last Christmas season living in the UK (well maybe not your last if you and she move back there one day, but you know what I mean)...enjoy the time you have left because one day you might be all 'I wish I'd done this that or the other....'