Should we apply for K1 now or wait a year?

[mymarriagejourney 112]

Some people cannot tolerate hearing a difference of opinion on anything, and take everything that's said on the board as some kind of personal insult aimed directly at them. Sticking to a protected environment like Facebook, PM or a private group is probably the best for these folks.

I am curious - how do you budget for the fees if your income is 0, and without the sponsor paying a single penny ? Somebody must have either a job or some money in the bank.

I get school grants. My husband also gets school grants. We use the money carefully and wisely. For immigration purposes, this is not considered income and cannot be counted. However, it still is below limits for immigration even if it were counted as income. Most students survive on similar dollar amounts and do fine just as we are.

My husband comes from an upper-middle class family and they had some money in an account for him. It wasn't a lot by US standards, but it was helpful, also.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I get school grants. My husband also gets school grants. We use the money carefully and wisely. For immigration purposes, this is not considered income and cannot be counted. However, it still is below limits for immigration even if it were counted as income. Most students survive on similar dollar amounts and do fine just as we are.

My husband comes from an upper-middle class family and they had some money in an account for him. It wasn't a lot by US standards, but it was helpful, also.

Hmm. I thought education grants were only considered tax-deductible (non-income) if they were used for qualified education purposes. Maybe I am wrong.

It's good that your husband could help cover some of the expenses.

Edited January 6, 2013 by wife_of_mahmoud

[mymarriagejourney 112]

Education expenses also include things needed to live while attending school including rent or mortgage, food, utilities, auto expenses, clothing, computers, etc. You can find that information on the government websites. We put all of our money it one lump, since our money is shared, but if the government wanted to scrutinize every penny we spend, the money from his family was more than enough to cover his adjustment of status fees. He/his family paid for his related visas to come here and travel back and forth...he came on an F1 student visa. They also paid his tuition for a year. He never asked for a penny from me for those things. Now that we are married and he is a green card holder, we take care of ourselves.

[mymarriagejourney 112]

For what it's worth, now that he does have that green card, he is also working part-time. He's a full time student and is able to handle part time work on top of it. Maybe I'm a wimp, but I can't! School sucks every last bit of strength and time out of me! (Actually, if I want to give myself some slack...my MBA program is intense and his program is less-so. )

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Education expenses also include things needed to live while attending school including rent or mortgage, food, utilities, auto expenses, clothing, computers, etc. You can find that information on the government websites. We put all of our money it one lump, since our money is shared, but if the government wanted to scrutinize every penny we spend, the money from his family was more than enough to cover his adjustment of status fees. He/his family paid for his related visas to come here and travel back and forth...he came on an F1 student visa. They also paid his tuition for a year. He never asked for a penny from me for those things. Now that we are married and he is a green card holder, we take care of ourselves.

Definitely education costs would include the student's living expenses like rent, food, etc. I'm not so sure a spouse's immigration fees would fall inside those parameters, especially if it was a taxpayer-funded grant.

[mymarriagejourney 112]

Definitely education costs would include the student's living expenses like rent, food, etc. I'm not so sure a spouse's immigration fees would fall inside those parameters, especially if it was a taxpayer-funded grant.

As I said, the money given to him by his family was more than enough to cover his adjustment of status fees, if the government ever cares to audit our checking account.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

As I said, the money given to him by his family was more than enough to cover his adjustment of status fees, if the government ever cares to audit our checking account.

Well, I'd asked you specifically how you budgeted for immigration fees with an income of 0, and you answered that you have school grant money. It seems you have re-thought that answer

[mymarriagejourney 112]

Well, I'd asked you specifically how you budgeted for immigration fees with an income of 0, and you answered that you have school grant money. It seems you have re-thought that answer

Not really.

The reason I stated that we budgeted for it is because we had already used some of his family's money for tuition fees and books, which meant that the money coming from our school grants needed to be budgeted for immigration fees. It's half dozen of one or 6 of the other, if you know what I mean. It was a timing thing.

[Mithra 1,185]

As WOM stated, to some difference of opinion equals "trampled on." Some can handle disagreements, some can't. That's unfortunate because we're all adults here and one would think an adult could handle disagreements or criticism. I don't know how these people function in the real world if people they don't even know can't offer another opinion different than their own. Do they not have jobs or school or families? Does everyone IRL agree with them all the time?

We just made it a priority to budget for the fees. I assume others have done the same. People who live on small incomes, rather transient due to being a student or whatever, or just as a way of life due to circumstances, learn how to do it.

I'm saddened by the number of private emails I have received regarding this issue. Every one of them stated that they were worried about joining the conversation due to the likelihood of being trampled on and belittled by other members for their thoughts and opinions. Sad. Because I've never walked a mile in anyone else's shoes, I try to be an open minded and non-judgemental person. I hope these forums can be also.

[abbi627 43]

I think - maybe - that it is not that some people can't handle disagreements. This is just my opinion of course. But there are some things in life that maybe we are feeling particularly sensitive/emotional about. And what is more emotional than love/relationships/marriage? Those of us going through Visa journey deal not only with the regular ups and downs of relationships but also the difficulty of long distance and the long separations and the unknown of our future. Let's face it - our future is in the hands of some CO that does not even know us. So we have to plan everything and make sure our paperwork is in order and we have to reach out to each other for advice and information. And sometimes the advice and information we get is not what we want to hear. We all need to hear the truth and we all need to be prepared for all eventualities. But we are not just dealing in facts here - we are dealing with real people and real emotions and sometimes we get hurt by what others say. So I don't think it is just that some people can't handle disagreements. I can speak only for myself of course. I can handle disagreements. They are a part of life. But I can also get my feelings hurt. We are all human. We all have feelings. Yes we have to be practical during our visa journey. But it is hard to separate emotions from this. So I hope we all will give honest answers to questions because none of us need to have it sugar-coated - we need to know what to expect. But we can do it with some kindness remembering this is an emotional time for us all no matter what stage of the process we are in. Again this is just my opinion for what it's worth.

[destiny64 222]

I think - maybe - that it is not that some people can't handle disagreements. This is just my opinion of course. But there are some things in life that maybe we are feeling particularly sensitive/emotional about. And what is more emotional than love/relationships/marriage? Those of us going through Visa journey deal not only with the regular ups and downs of relationships but also the difficulty of long distance and the long separations and the unknown of our future. Let's face it - our future is in the hands of some CO that does not even know us. So we have to plan everything and make sure our paperwork is in order and we have to reach out to each other for advice and information. And sometimes the advice and information we get is not what we want to hear. We all need to hear the truth and we all need to be prepared for all eventualities. But we are not just dealing in facts here - we are dealing with real people and real emotions and sometimes we get hurt by what others say. So I don't think it is just that some people can't handle disagreements. I can speak only for myself of course. I can handle disagreements. They are a part of life. But I can also get my feelings hurt. We are all human. We all have feelings. Yes we have to be practical during our visa journey. But it is hard to separate emotions from this. So I hope we all will give honest answers to questions because none of us need to have it sugar-coated - we need to know what to expect. But we can do it with some kindness remembering this is an emotional time for us all no matter what stage of the process we are in. Again this is just my opinion for what it's worth.

I agree with you, everyone should take advice and opinions of others, but sometimes feelings get hurt as we are only human. To some of us struggling to get our loved ones to the U.S. when we see that we've struggled through just trying to prove our relationships are genuine . Its tough to think we've gotten all that financial stuff taken care of and our spouses aren't a threat of becoming a government burden,.

Is it jealousy , probably. There is a lot of emotional things a couple goes through when they are kept apart and have a consular to get through, and we try so hard to prove our relationship is genuine that when we see others getting through with a financial issue that we don't have, it just makes it more disheartening. Love deserves the chance to flourish regardless of financial issues, and if someone accepts the responsibility to co-sponsor a couple then one would hope they have the trust in the person asking them to do that , that they won't put them in a position of having to get stuck actually supporting them. I guess what i'm saying is , people can be poor at one time, but responsible enough to know that once their spouse comes things will improve greatly with two incomes, and not become a burden to their co-sponsor.

[abbi627 43]

That's a very good point. And we all also need to remember that at any time our circumstances can change. Right now I meet the income guidelines and I don't have to think about a co-sponsor. But we all know that in this economy we can lose our jobs through no fault of our own. Our company can go out of business. We can get sick. We can be in an accident. There can be downsizing at work. No one knows today what tomorrow will bring. So those of us who do not need a co-sponsor today may end up needing one tomorrow. There are no guarantees in life. We just do the best we can. We get up and go to work - one job or two jobs or three jobs and/or get a co-sponsor and pray that we get through this process and are finally able to be with our loved ones. We make our plans and do the very best we can to make it work. That's all we can do.

[Mithra 1,185]

Of course circumstances can change at any time. Being responsible will not change regardless of this. Ditching a job, kids, school, and other responsibilities to run off with a guy is different than losing a job unexpectedly. That can't really be prevented. Needing a co-sponsor isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's when you have the means or could have the means and you waste that opportunity because you're chasing emotions and then you expect others to take on that responsibility. When I first met my husband I had just started working again after being a stay at home mom for 9 years. I wanted to be with my husband and missed him terribly but I knew if I ditched my job and kids to live with him we'd both come back to nothing. I couldn't expect my parents to co-sponsor my husband and then ask them to support us until we both got jobs. I also couldn't , in good conscience, leave my kids behind for months and months just to get my husband here. I had to stay here and continue working so I didn't need a co-sponsor or someone to support my family. It was difficult but it paid off in the end. Having said all that - it was still difficult for us when my husband got here. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would've been had I not been working and maintaining a household.

Edited January 6, 2013 by Mithra

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Abbi, destiny and mmj - I think all three of you are doing just fine in making your posts and defending your opinions - none of you seem to be intimidated by different views. You seem to be strong and independent thinkers who can easily withstand someone having the temerity to say they don't see things your way.

But this is not the case for some, which is what I was referring to (I was not directing the remark to anyone in this thread.) I've been around this forum for about 8 years now, and have seen everything you can imagine, including more than one or two people rage-quitting VJ after somebody didn't agree with something they said (even when it was something really outrageously incorrect, patently illegal, or just plain dumb.) Some of these folks have even come back under new names, thinking nobody could figure it out.

So if, as mmj mentioned, someone says they're "afraid" to come on the forum because disagreement is perceived as being "trampled on and belittled" by "judgmental people" - well, best for them to stay away from public forums. And good luck to them with real life, because being married to an immigrant from MENA can often draw a lot of unsolicited/unwelcome comments from random people as well as (potentially) family and friends. This forum is merely a reflection of the diversity of opinion in the real world.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Of course circumstances can change at any time. Being responsible will not change regardless of this. Ditching a job, kids, school, and other responsibilities to run off with a guy is different than losing a job unexpectedly. That can't really be prevented. Needing a co-sponsor isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's when you have the means or could have the means and you waste that opportunity because you're chasing emotions and then you expect others to take on that responsibility. When I first met my husband I had just started working again after being a stay at home mom for 9 years. I wanted to be with my husband and missed him terribly but I knew if I ditched my job and kids to live with him we'd both come back to nothing. I couldn't expect my parents to co-sponsor my husband and then ask them to support us until we both got jobs. I also couldn't , in good conscience, leave my kids behind for months and months just to get my husband here. I had to stay here and continue working so I didn't need a co-sponsor or someone to support my family. It was difficult but it paid off in the end. Having said all that - it was still difficult for us when my husband got here. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would've been had I not been working and maintaining a household.

Exactly ! There's a big difference between an unexpected disaster happening to you, and actually choosing to court a disaster.

Edited January 6, 2013 by wife_of_mahmoud