The blues....

[MrMrsKnight 0]

Dave and I talk every night using webcamera on msn.... it's always great! We watch movies, play games, watch regular tv, laugh, listen to music and fall asleep together every night watching Friends... we have a great time every night. He's a great person to be with and often surprises me with something.

And that's how last night went... but when it was almost time to go to bed we just couldn't help it. He got sad because we miss each other so much. The smell, the touch.....

I try to be strong but we all know that, even knowing we'll be together again eventually, it's very hard to keep the tears away for very long.

We plan to see each other soon.... meet in Europe maybe. But I want my life with him back, I don't want it to be on hold anymore.

I just want to hold his hand to cross the street, kiss him to keep his mouth shut stopping him from making fun of me when I say something stupid, have someone to look at and laugh with when something funny happens. It's like a part of my soul is missing and I can't get used to that!

I know I'll feel better tomorrow, or at least control it better. But right now I can't help it.....as I wait for him to get home from work, I wish he'd knock on this door instead of an image behind the screen.

Just sad.... that's all.

And very much in love...

Edited March 1, 2006 by MrMrsKnight

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Yep... know how that feels... *sigh*

[snz1802 0]

I know how you feel, I think we all probably do. I try and take one day at a time, and when one day is really bad I just say to myself, tomorrow will be better, and all this sadness that I am going through will be worth it in the long run. Because in the long run, my sweetheart will be with me for the rest of my life. No more web cam, no more phone conversations, just he and i together in the same place at the same time. That will be well worth the sadness and pain that I am going through at this moment to get him here with me. So, try and keep you head up, i know it is hard, and try and have good thoughts about your future together.......I know this helps me get through day to day.....and remember we are all here for you when you need us.

Stacey

[Married_my_love 0]

It's like a part of my soul is missing and I can't get used to that!

I know I'll feel better tomorrow, or at least control it better. But right now I can't help it.....as I wait for him to get home from work, I wish he'd knock on this door instead of an image behind the screen.

Just sad.... that's all. And very much in love...

Oh great you went and made me cry! Yep I know exactly what you mean. I hate being a newlywed in an empty bed. Well, me and the cat, and then empty... but anyway. I feel your pain. I am jealous that you guys have webcam visits!! My husband is not a techie person at all, I'm lucky to get the occassional email squeeked out of him... but anyway - I can relate, I guess we all can.

[moondancer627 0]

Keep your chin up, I know what H...ll I was going through last year. I was not sure what was going to happen and I went from saddness to anger, to numbness, apathy , and boy did I take it out on my friends sometimes when they asked how the Visa was going, when It wasn't going anywhere it seemed.

I wish you friendship and hope through this trying time in your life,

Blessed Be,

Moondancer

[daisy16 0]

hang in there honey. It's so so difficult, but you'll be together soon.

[pbgirl 1]

Some days are worse than others. I think worse is that I had mentally prepared myself for us being together already at this point. But after the interview in January, they asked for fingerprints and said it woudl take another 4-6 weeks. I had already mentally prepared myself for being together by V-Day, watching the Olympics together, celebrating our 6 month wedding anniversary together, having him experience St. Patrick's Day etc. And I have to be patient and remind myself that is not going to happen.....yet

But I do wake up EVERY morning grateful that I have someone who loves me as much as he does. Grateful that I found my needle in the haystack (as one of my friends described it). Grateful that even though we are not yet together, we have our whole lives together, and its only a few more weeks to go (fingers crossed!).

I think another hard part is that he is sooooo far. It is not even as if I can jump in the car and drive into Canada to see him. Or take a short plane ride (and to me, short is anytime under 8 hours! lol) and spend a long weekend together. I am envious of the people who can do this. So if you do live close to your loved one, be grateful that you are not separated by as many miles others are (16,000 miles in my case!). It is hard for us to use messenger or webcam except on an occassonal weekend because there is such a time difference. For calls I have to recharge my prepaid phone card every third day!

And yes...moondancer, I too am tired of people asking "is he here yet?". At this point, I just sigh and say "I'll let you know when he is here, please stop asking!!"

Anyway, best of luck to everyone. Life is about learning and living. Take what you can from the experience and remember...the fruit of hard labor (in this case, long waiting!) is always sweeter!

Edited March 2, 2006 by pbgirl

[Sinergy 3]

Me and my fiance do the webcam thing alot too. The hard part is its not as often as Id like it to be. He doesnt have a computer at home so he has to go to internet cafes. Its always so exciting when we first turn them on, but when its time to go my heart drops when i see the cam box on his end go black. Our biggest thing is text messeging, we do it about 50 times a day, and its frustrating because you just cant say everything you want in 160 characters and constantly abbreviating everything.

Nights are always the hardest, i even let my 10 year old sleep in the bed with me sometimes just so i can feel someone next to me, i got so used to shareing a bed with my fiance, that when it was empty i slept on the couch for 2 months just to avoid the emptiness of the bed.

Its hard for all of us, but it will get better. Just hope it is soon.

Hugs,

Tara

[Dixie_Peach 1]

aw man... my heart is breaking... i too miss my Jamal... and i try to keep myself busy... and not think about the loneliness... the hardest part is at night... not having him beside me... I miss him so much... and coming back to this thread this morning... made me cry...

I wish all of us the best... and I am praying that we all will be with our loved ones soon!

[Octa 0]

We were in the same situation for 3 years, we would meet summer time in Romania and then webcam webcam webcam, I used to hate it, I wanted to just throw the monitor out the window. It feels so good now to be together every night, to not be dependent on computers and phones. This will eventually be over for those of you who are still going through it, and being together will be so much better ... you will appreciate having the one that you love next you every day. ..

........it is hard, I don't even want to remember those times