Advice and insights

[abby7788 0]

Hello VJers,

I need some advice regarding my not-so-unique situation. I am currently on F1-OPT and engaged to be married to my USC fiancé who is currently on active duty in the military. Before enlisting, we had planned for me to move to his city (where all of his immediate family is) after I got done with my masters program. Anyway, since enlisting, things concerning where to live and settle have become very uncertain. He has moved 3 times in the past 7 months and may be scheduled for yet another move at his 12 month mark (maybe even deployed overseas).

I am currently looking for jobs both where he is now and in the city where I graduated (NYC) and it is becoming very clear that my fiancé is currently on a base that is considered "in the middle of nowhere" and I probably will not find anything close to a suitable job there. However I am about to get a job (in NYC) that would pay me almost 2.5 times what my fiancé is making and I am wondering if it makes any sense to give this up so we can be physically together especially since it will make my AOS that much easier? Or will USCIS see any sense in me choosing to stay for work in a different state till my fiancé's knows if and where he will be deployed? My fiancé and I both do but I am a bit nervous after reading the general consensus of "married but living separately" as it relates to immigration.

[ceadsearc 515]

Married but living apart is a red flag but it can be overcome with good reason, which you have. Just be honest, and do what you need to do. Spouses living apart is more common with the current economy, and especially if your spouse may be deployed overseas, your logic makes sense.

Some people will say you should do whatever you have to to be together, but the reality is that's not always possible or practical.

[GreenTrain 1]

Married but living apart is a red flag but it can be overcome with good reason, which you have. Just be honest, and do what you need to do. Spouses living apart is more common with the current economy, and especially if your spouse may be deployed overseas, your logic makes sense.

Some people will say you should do whatever you have to to be together, but the reality is that's not always possible or practical.

living separately is big problem while you're dealing with USCIS.

Make sure you collect everything on earth that you're in regular touch or meeting on occasions

etc.

[Hypnos 6,576]

It can be a problem, I wouldn't say it's a big problem.

As long as you can document your relationship it can be overcome and has been overcome by people here on several occasions.

[Timon 26]

It can be a problem, I wouldn't say it's a big problem.

As long as you can document your relationship it can be overcome and has been overcome by people here on several occasions.

I'm not sure that your living situation would pose that great of a problem. Just have proof of correspondences and other proof documenting the bonafides of your marriage. In my opinion you have great reasons to be living apart. He's in the military and doesn't really have much stability, prospective jobs are much better where you are. Ive read cases where aos have been approved while spouses were leaving apart whether for school or work. It'll be ok

[abby7788 0]

Thanks everyone for the responses. Fortunately he will be able to choose (as opposed to being assigned) where he wants to go for his next posting (about a year from now). That is if he isn't deployed overseas in March 2013. The plan is for him to move to the base in my current city or for us to move to a base in another city where I can be gainfully employed.

Edited October 8, 2012 by abby7788