How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area?

[adiiann 163]

"How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area"

This question popped up in my mind when someone told me that I need friends closer to me. Then, I started to analyze my situation. I am not socially isolated as I have good rapport with my co-workers, I talked to my neighbors once in awhile when we're out for gardening or cleaning cars, and I am fine joining the neighborhood meeting sometimes.

I just don't feel like I need to find Filipino friends in my area. If we meet some, that's great. Me and my husband both working, and I want to spend my time doing house chores or doing my handicrafts or read books whenever my husband is not around and I am home. Since, we're both working, we always spend time together either going out or just being home to watch movie or play games.

Our life has been in fast track and there's a lot of changes since I got here 3 years ago. My husband's friends become my friends, and I always have fun going out with them but when we move to other state, we just hang out whenever we're in IL. Right now, I don't have any close friends in my area. I am kinda too busy to really go out with friends right now.

I wonder if some have same situation as I am. Would like to hear some experiences from others.

[Markieboy 104]

My wife does not feel the need to have Filipino friends. Using your logic, if she does meet Filipinos...fine. But she doesn't feel the necessity of befriending another Kababayan.

However, she prefers not to mingle with other Filipinos. Most, if not all, the Filipinos we met here are somewhat strange. What I mean by that is: some like to brag about everything they have, some have a feeling of entitlement, some are just tsismosa...and most have this crab mentality. I'm not saying that everyone is like this. In our experience, this was the case.

My wife and I are definitely homebodies. We love spending time with each other. Our mutual friends are a select few. And it doesn't bother us one bit.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

We have too many Filipino "friends". The wife started her own group, and they grew to about, ten members, too many really. Then they had the inevitable schism. But, we probably know close to 200 Filipino families that live in the area, and every time we visit another part of the state, I get to meet more of her old friends from school, or work, back in the Philippines. She has five Filipinas alone she works with. Filipinos really are everywhere, now that I know how to recognize them. I think it is an invasion.

[KKJJ 16]

My wife does not feel the need to have Filipino friends. Using your logic, if she does meet Filipinos...fine. But she doesn't feel the necessity of befriending another Kababayan.

However, she prefers not to mingle with other Filipinos. Most, if not all, the Filipinos we met here are somewhat strange. What I mean by that is: some like to brag about everything they have, some have a feeling of entitlement, some are just tsismosa...and most have this crab mentality. I'm not saying that everyone is like this. In our experience, this was the case.

My wife and I are definitely homebodies. We love spending time with each other. Our mutual friends are a select few. And it doesn't bother us one bit.

same here

[rheanick 42]

My wife does not feel the need to have Filipino friends. Using your logic, if she does meet Filipinos...fine. But she doesn't feel the necessity of befriending another Kababayan.

However, she prefers not to mingle with other Filipinos. Most, if not all, the Filipinos we met here are somewhat strange. What I mean by that is: some like to brag about everything they have, some have a feeling of entitlement, some are just tsismosa...and most have this crab mentality. I'm not saying that everyone is like this. In our experience, this was the case.

My wife and I are definitely homebodies. We love spending time with each other. Our mutual friends are a select few. And it doesn't bother us one bit.

Markieboy: You are in Seattle and Im in Arizona. Its strange that you are describing the filipinas/filipinos i met here in my area.

To the OP: Frankly speaking, 3 years here in the US. This year, I intentionally did not bother to meet or know another filipino/filipinas. No intent to exert effort to meet or see another kababayan unless they are also attending the same function im in. Most of the filipinas i met are chismosa, and inggitera. I dont mind them bragging abouth their stuff. The one that irritates me the most are filipinos asking about the price of our house, my computer, desk in my home office. Though i have 5 filipina friends here. We dont meet often. We are all busy and have no time to meet up. Life is short. Just do whatever you have to do and enjoy it.

[JoBri 545]

My wife has a couple Filipino friends. She doesnt stay in close contact with them anymore. She mentioned just this week about a co-worker of hers who is an American caucasian...her son is getting married to a Filipino soon and bringing her here on a K-1 visa. I told my wife that will be fun for her, that she will get to meet her and maybe be friends. My wife responded that it isnt exciting to her, that she doesnt care to meet others from the Philippines anymore. She thinks of herself as an American, and she said she is already used to being here and living the life of an American, and someone from the Philippines isnt so special to her anymore.

[thinkerlove0212 158]

"How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area"

This question popped up in my mind when someone told me that I need friends closer to me. Then, I started to analyze my situation. I am not socially isolated as I have good rapport with my co-workers, I talked to my neighbors once in awhile when we're out for gardening or cleaning cars, and I am fine joining the neighborhood meeting sometimes.

I just don't feel like I need to find Filipino friends in my area. If we meet some, that's great. Me and my husband both working, and I want to spend my time doing house chores or doing my handicrafts or read books whenever my husband is not around and I am home. Since, we're both working, we always spend time together either going out or just being home to watch movie or play games.

Our life has been in fast track and there's a lot of changes since I got here 3 years ago. My husband's friends become my friends, and I always have fun going out with them but when we move to other state, we just hang out whenever we're in IL. Right now, I don't have any close friends in my area. I am kinda too busy to really go out with friends right now.

I wonder if some have same situation as I am. Would like to hear some experiences from others.

Hi...

I just got here last month and i don't have any filipina friends here.. I met a lot of american friends from my fiance family, friends and neighbor. I don't have close friends to our neighbor because they are so busy with there kids and works. So everyday when my fiance went to work i feel like im just the only one person live to our st. But then i never get bored because i have a lot of things to make myself busy... even that is my routine. I met this filipina woman in same subdivision just a couple of blocks from our house. Because she saw the Philippine flag that my fiance brought that on February when he was in Philippines. We met then figure out after 2 weeks that she is not a good influence for me, she always advice me that i have to be like this and to be like that, i have to work and etc. We never hang out because we want to spend time talking about our family back in the Philippines. My fiance is very happy that i have a friend specially she is a filipina. I just got tired of her always asking help from me after i help her once , she always open a topic about work, work, and work.. she wanted me to help her because she is a care giver. of-course i want to help her as much as i can, but its not my business to help her to her work. to be specified she always asked me to stay to her employee house to watch over the old-lady. because she wants to go out for important matter she said. First i dont want to tell to my fiance about her that i don't like her and what she asked from me, because when i met her i am so happy and so my fiance. But i cant stand with her anymore and i have tell to open up about the topic to my fiance. My fiance told me that he can see that even before that she is getting advantage to me. But he never told me because he wanted me to see to myself. So right now i am content what i have i remember the quotes when i was in high school that i always used " IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN IN A BAD COMPANION"

[rlogan 2,036]

Mine has no need for it. Just because they are Filipino doesn't mean they are your kind of people. Same thing with me in the Philippines. I don't have any interest in looking for other Americanos. Casual meeting in a store or something is fine, but going out of your way just because they are Americano, no.

[Binow 0]

I am in Arizona too and we've never met so I guess we're on the same plight

To the OP - I befriend anybody but definitely not needy to join fellowships and other functions just to have Filipino friends. I'm not snub but mostly timid. I appreciate the invites but I don't know why I don't really look forward to attending those. Besides far, I have been to a few get together and me and my husband realize we just don't belong to "their group" so we instead enjoy our time together or hang out with few selected buddies and do something interesting other than talking about other people

Markieboy: You are in Seattle and Im in Arizona. Its strange that you are describing the filipinas/filipinos i met here in my area.

To the OP: Frankly speaking, 3 years here in the US. This year, I intentionally did not bother to meet or know another filipino/filipinas. No intent to exert effort to meet or see another kababayan unless they are also attending the same function im in. Most of the filipinas i met are chismosa, and inggitera. I dont mind them bragging abouth their stuff. The one that irritates me the most are filipinos asking about the price of our house, my computer, desk in my home office. Though i have 5 filipina friends here. We dont meet often. We are all busy and have no time to meet up. Life is short. Just do whatever you have to do and enjoy it.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

"How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area"

This question popped up in my mind when someone told me that I need friends closer to me. Then, I started to analyze my situation. I am not socially isolated as I have good rapport with my co-workers, I talked to my neighbors once in awhile when we're out for gardening or cleaning cars, and I am fine joining the neighborhood meeting sometimes.

I just don't feel like I need to find Filipino friends in my area. If we meet some, that's great. Me and my husband both working, and I want to spend my time doing house chores or doing my handicrafts or read books whenever my husband is not around and I am home. Since, we're both working, we always spend time together either going out or just being home to watch movie or play games.

Our life has been in fast track and there's a lot of changes since I got here 3 years ago. My husband's friends become my friends, and I always have fun going out with them but when we move to other state, we just hang out whenever we're in IL. Right now, I don't have any close friends in my area. I am kinda too busy to really go out with friends right now.

I wonder if some have same situation as I am. Would like to hear some experiences from others.

I was already friends with several very nice Pinay (wives of friends) when my wife came here. They actually influenced me to stick my toe in the "dating a Piany waters". Anyway now the she is here we have several FIL-AM couples we enjoy doing things with, riding Motorcycles, going out to eat every Sunday night, etc etc. The Beauty of it is that I was already friends with the Husbands. She instantly bonded with the girls and now has a small network of girls she talks to frequently. I personally think it has made the transition easy for her. We have not had any adjustment or homesick issues. It's like she has lived her 10 years. EXCEPT for---

She yawned when I bought her a car and Wigged out and took 10 pictures when I bought her a clothesline, so she did not have to sue the dryer lol

[Ban Hammer 12,842]

...and most have this crab mentality.

i've heard this in a facebook game group i belong to. what exactly is it?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

i've heard this in a facebook game group i belong to. what exactly is it?

Crabs in a bucket won't let another crab escape first.

[StraightShooter 62]

i've heard this in a facebook game group i belong to. what exactly is it?

Here are a couple of informative links:

http://www.ich9.com/cultural-baggage/what-is-filipino-crab-mentality/

http://bangsamoro.wordpress.com/2007/05/04/filipino-crab-mentality-the-institutionalization-of-mediocracy/

[Caryh 5,206]

My wife didn't feel at home until she had a Filipina friend. It didn't take a lot of them, just one good friend she could relate to and talk in her native language with. We get together with her and her husband somewhat regularly and I get along great with her husband to. We've met quite a few Filipinas since she got here last September. Some were just plain a bad influence, back biting, gossiping, trying to get her to do everything separate from me. Personally I believe a married couple should spend the majority of their free time together, even if you are doing things with other friends to. Marriage is about building a life together, and not about building a life apart. Just my own view, I know other ways work for other people and that's fine to, it just doesn't work for us that way. There is another couple we'll get together on occasion to, and one divorced Filipina who is desperately searching for a man lol. We have many of my previous friends we also still do things with to. And my wife has become friends with them. So I guess we have a fair blend on it all. But mostly its the two of us living and enjoying our lives together no matter if we're with others or alone.

[Hank_ 9,173]

I am in Arizona too and we've never met so I guess we're on the same plight

To the OP - I befriend anybody but definitely not needy to join fellowships and other functions just to have Filipino friends. I'm not snub but mostly timid. I appreciate the invites but I don't know why I don't really look forward to attending those. Besides far, I have been to a few get together and me and my husband realize we just don't belong to "their group" so we instead enjoy our time together or hang out with few selected buddies and do something interesting other than talking about other people

WoW! The Arizona crowd is growing!!! Of course there is Darren in Phoenix... And I am about 110 miles south, there are a fair number of Filipinos around but my fiancee has little desire to makes friends with any just because of them being Filipino, we are both home bodies when we aren't out riding.