Divorce

[MCMLXXXII 29]

Well I did not know where to go to ask this question. The time has come for divorce. I really don't want to talk about all that happened. I am here just to ask a few questions on how to proceed with this matter from a legal point of view.

My wife lives in Canada, I live in the US. We got married in Ontario last July. I want to know where I should file for divorce. How does it work when the husband and wife reside in different countries? If I file in Canada, will I have to travel there for court proceedings? In the US I reside in NJ. She cannot come here if any court proceedings are required as she is not a Canadian citizen, just a PR.

In terms of the immigration process, I am holding off on paying the IV fee. I know that there is a 1 year period within which you must respond. I want to wait till the divorce is complete to withdraw the application.

I probably won't be online a lot but I will come back to read your responses in a day or two.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Well I did not know where to go to ask this question. The time has come for divorce. I really don't want to talk about all that happened. I am here just to ask a few questions on how to proceed with this matter from a legal point of view.

My wife lives in Canada, I live in the US. We got married in Ontario last July. I want to know where I should file for divorce. How does it work when the husband and wife reside in different countries? If I file in Canada, will I have to travel there for court proceedings? In the US I reside in NJ. She cannot come here if any court proceedings are required as she is not a Canadian citizen, just a PR.

In terms of the immigration process, I am holding off on paying the IV fee. I know that there is a 1 year period within which you must respond. I want to wait till the divorce is complete to withdraw the application.

I probably won't be online a lot but I will come back to read your responses in a day or two.

On the bright side it has happened before she got to the USA!! I know when I got divorced many moons ago(in British Columbia canada)---never saw a judge or court room. Ours was very amicable, we agreed on everything. My lawyer drew it all up--she got her own lawyer just to make sure it was all on the up and up! Maybe a much different story if one party is hostile. All the best.

Edited May 18, 2012 by Flames9_RN

[decocker 7,198]

if you are the one filing for divorce, you'll need to file in NJ, residency requirement is one year prior.

the fact that she can't travel to the US might cause delays in the proceedings - depending on the type of divorce, contesting, etc. i obtained a divorce from my ex (in VA) without anything other than his signature. and that was with a child involved. my divorce was a 'no contest' divorce, but there were other plaintiffs there in the courtroom that day who couldn't locate their ex's. must have been a matter of publishing notice in the paper...sure NJ has similar procedures in place.

[grrrrreat 109]

Well I did not know where to go to ask this question. The time has come for divorce. I really don't want to talk about all that happened. I am here just to ask a few questions on how to proceed with this matter from a legal point of view.

My wife lives in Canada, I live in the US. We got married in Ontario last July. I want to know where I should file for divorce. How does it work when the husband and wife reside in different countries? If I file in Canada, will I have to travel there for court proceedings? In the US I reside in NJ. She cannot come here if any court proceedings are required as she is not a Canadian citizen, just a PR.

In terms of the immigration process, I am holding off on paying the IV fee. I know that there is a 1 year period within which you must respond. I want to wait till the divorce is complete to withdraw the application.

I probably won't be online a lot but I will come back to read your responses in a day or two.

You'll have to ask someone who is knowledgeable about NJ divorce law to see if you can get divorced there. You probably have to have lived there for a year prior to initiating the divorce. I don't think her personal appearance is required in NJ, but it could make things more complicated if she cannot come there especially if it is a contested case.

I am guessing that the Ontario courts would have jurisdiction if you file there, since that is where you were married and that is where your spouse lives, but you'd have to ask a Canadian lawyer. Again, whether you have to travel there for the divorce depends on whether the divorce will be contested and the rules of the Ontario courts.

Edited May 18, 2012 by grrrrreat

[canafornia 7]

Admittedly it's been many years (10+) since my mom divorced but after separating, and living separately for a year, she and my step-dad basically signed some papers with a lawyer and that's it. If there is no fighting, and no big rush, it's a relatively simple process here in Canada.

I'm really sorry to hear that things have gone this way for you, I wish you the best.

[alizon 77]

I don't have any information for you, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope all works out for you.

[grrrrreat 109]

Admittedly it's been many years (10+) since my mom divorced but after separating, and living separately for a year, she and my step-dad basically signed some papers with a lawyer and that's it. If there is no fighting, and no big rush, it's a relatively simple process here in Canada.

I'm really sorry to hear that things have gone this way for you, I wish you the best.

Are you sure they didn't have to go to Court? That would be surprising.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Are you sure they didn't have to go to Court? That would be surprising.

I never went to court and I know many others that never went to court (I was in the military, what do u expect,lol) In most cases (in canada at least) if its amicable and everyone can agree on how to split everything up, it s not that difficult to do. I saw my lawyer once, then I left for another province. He sent it to her lawyer, signed sealed and delivered!

[grrrrreat 109]

I never went to court and I know many others that never went to court (I was in the military, what do u expect,lol) In most cases (in canada at least) if its amicable and everyone can agree on how to split everything up, it s not that difficult to do. I saw my lawyer once, then I left for another province. He sent it to her lawyer, signed sealed and delivered!

Very interesting. I think in a lot of U.S. states you have to show up in court at least for the formalities.

[Ontarkie 13,915]

I never had to go to court either.

The only problem with Ontario is the 1yr separation, before the divorce. In this case you may be able to use the time you are already separated. But she will have to file since your not a resident.

[gad33 47]

No useful advice but I just wanted to say I am sorry it has come to this.

Please take care to look after yourself.

Edited May 19, 2012 by gad33

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I believe I found a site which would be helpful but you probably need to visit a lawyer to at least figure out how the international portion of it will work

http://www.lsnjlaw.org/english/family/divorce/irreconcilable/

here is an excerpt:

Irreconcilable Differences—New Jersey’s No-Fault Divorce

On January 20, 2007, Governor Corzine signed into law a change to the divorce statute. Before that, most divorce complaints were based on either separation (living separate and apart for at least 18 months) or extreme cruelty, which required one spouse to accuse the other of specific acts of cruel behavior. The law now allows for a true no-fault divorce based on either spouse claiming irreconcilable differences. To file a divorce based on irreconcilable differences, the following requirements must be met:

You or your spouse must have lived in New Jersey for 12 consecutive months before the filing of the divorce complaint.

You and your spouse must have experienced irreconcilable differences for six months.

The irreconcilable differences make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved.

There is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

The irreconcilable differences basis for divorce does not require that one spouse make allegations or accusations against the other.

If you are thinking about filing for divorce, this change in the law may make the process a little smoother. When neither spouse has to blame the other for the divorce, it can reduce the level of conflict in the litigation. Most divorces end with a negotiated settlement rather than a judge resolving the issues after a trial. Setting a more peaceful tone in the divorce complaint may result in a quicker settlement.

It is important to recognize that, in almost all situations, an allegation against a spouse, even when proven by evidence, will not affect the outcome of the divorce. So, claiming that your spouse had an adulterous affair will not improve your chances of receiving more in child support, alimony, or equitable distribution.

If you have already filed for divorce based on extreme cruelty or another basis that requires allegations of bad acts, you may want to ask the court to amend your divorce complaint to base your divorce solely on irreconcilable differences. By doing this, you may be able to withdraw the allegations of bad acts by your spouse. You can only amend your complaint if you have not yet reached a final judgment of divorce. Amending your complaint so that it becomes a no-fault divorce complaint may make it easier to get a negotiated settlement.

[decocker 7,198]

Very interesting. I think in a lot of U.S. states you have to show up in court at least for the formalities.

if it's a no contest divorce, in a lot of states only the plaintiff is required to go to court. in my case, my ex didn't have to do anything but sign the divorce decree. that was in virginia.

[Trav&Shell 83]

Very interesting. I think in a lot of U.S. states you have to show up in court at least for the formalities.

I know with my Canadian divorce, I didn't show up anywhere - not even in a lawyer's office. Just signed the papers and handed them back to the process server...

[Trav&Shell 83]

Well I did not know where to go to ask this question. The time has come for divorce.

I'm really sorry to hear this! It's not ever an easy thing to do, and my heart is so sad for you