Report her or Not?

[Gumbolette 58]

First of all, its nice to see approvals across the board.

I am here to asked feedback from you guys to see if I am doing the right thing by just keeping my mouth shut and witnessing a husband (American) being cheated on unfold.

When I met my husband over the internet, I have this neighbor; let's call her name Maria. Maria has 2 children with her live-in partner (filipino) She felt very envious about my blessing to have a "Kano" that sends me chocolates, gadgets, and couple hundred dollars every month for my allowance (rent, electricity, shopping money). She then started chatting, and joining dating sites hoping to find "Mr. White" and give her exactly what I have been having. She went several facial enhancement treatment spending her live-in partner's money just to look beautiful to these men she is chatting. She then bought a computer unit and nestled it to a friend's house so the live-in partner doesn't know, needless to say., the live-in partner doesn't know everything Maria has been doing just to caught a "Kano" in the ocean.

Now, the story doesn't end here. The live in partner finally found out that Maria is determined to find a kano in the internet. The live-in partner was FURIOUS and went BALLISTIC towards me, because he thought I was the one who encouraged her to do all this. ( I was like, For real? what a lame brain person!) His basis was Maria keeps coming to my apartment and he thought I was a part of Maria's plot to break his family, which I NEVER KNEW Maria was doing all the hardwork to find a Kano. I cut my friendship to this woman because I didn't want to have anything to do with her.

I have been her in the United States when I found out that Maria had finally found a loving "Mr. White" online, and he came to the Philippines and married her. But, the live in partner was pretty "okay" with this. Now I was fuming when I knew that Maria NEVER TOLD THE AMERICAN HUSBAND THAT WHILE SHE WAS GETTING TO KNOW THE HUSBAND (NOW), THAT SHE IS LIVING WITH HER LIVE IN PARTNER. She pretends to have not talked to the father of her children for so many years now.

Now, story still not finished. The american husband of Maria, that though she doesn't live with her live-in partner now, she still constantly visit the live-in partner and sleep together. Until now, Mr. White never knew about the live -in partner at all.

I have this philosophy in life that if you are not part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. I would like to hear your opinions as to what I should do about Maria's unacceptable act towards the American Husband, considering her husband is trying to get to the US with her 2 kids.

[Adriene H 89]

Um okay. I'd just distance myself from this love

triangle and let them figure it all out.

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

I feel sorry for "Maria" and the american husband because it sounds to me like Maria did not find "Love" but instead only money and security she was looking for.

[rlogan 2,036]

I feel sorry for "Maria" and the american husband because it sounds to me like Maria did not find "Love" but instead only money and security she was looking for.

There is no security in being a lying, cheating scammer. She has found no security. Only a temporary scam income. The fact she can do this to him means she has zero respect for him so this relationship will end soon enough. She can't put on that act 24/7 once they are living together.

Security, and money is obviously a component of that, is found through a man that provides a lifetime stable environment to raise a family. To get that, a woman provides security in return by being faithful, trustworthy, improving your life and taking care of you - not doing what this woman is doing.

I think we are in agreement actually but would word this differently. I think it was pretty clear she was a scammer from the outset, looking for the quick money and not security. Because you don't steal if you want security. You steal when you aren't thinking at all about the future: just get your hands on some cash right now quick, and stealing will do that. If you want a whole lifetime of money instead of just a quick scam then be a faithful wife.

[CristiFur 15]

I don't think you should be losing any sleep over it. As long as you don't know the husband in person I'd say leave it alone.

[Adriene H 89]

I don't think you should be losing any sleep over it. As long as you don't know the husband in person I'd say leave it alone.

The husband I bet isn't losing sleep over the OP

[gretchen_darren 67]

wow, I am not sure what to say. asawa ko and I are speechless. Both asawa ko and I have an agreement. IF either of us know anything about nayone in our lives, we will inform the person who is in line to get hurt. whether it hurts the friendship or not. I do not know what to tell you on this item. You have nothing to gain and nothing to lose on this one. Your friendship is over with them, your relationship is cut off from her. You are in America now, so you informing the Kano husband has nothing to do with motives on your part. Myself, I would highly suggest informing the Kano, maybe talk with your husband on it to help you. It is not going to be easy. You know of something that will destroy a relationship. But I will tell you this. From what you have told me, it looks like a big scam going on. At first she gets a Kano, then gets to states. He is mad. Now he is fine with it and still stays with her. To me, it sounds like she is using the Kano to get to the states. After her conditions are lifted, divorce him. get alimony and maybe just maybe child support, then bring over her live in partner. At least from your story that is what I am thinking. If I were the "husband" and my "wife" was doing this. I would cut her off so fast, everyone would wonder what happened. the sad part is, you can only possibly stop this poor guy from being hurt. Eventually, she will find someone to pull the same trick on, if she doesn't get away with it this time. the big part is somehow notifying the Embassy she is pulling a scam to stop her from doing what she is doing. there are a few people like this. Not many, but enough to spoil a barrel sometimes. hopefully it works out. wish you the best in whatever you decide. I know this is hard to watch.

[B_J 2,752]

This reply is from the both of us (Benny and Jessa):

If you know the American, and you're sure of the facts, then you should tell him.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Direct all your energy to you and your husband.... life is like a fish bowl, sometimes you see one fish eat another.

[luckytxn 2,263]

Forgot how entertaining it is to come to this forum.

[Gumbolette 58]

Oh, I don't care about MARIA anymore. I just feel so sorry for the poor guy who is supporting her a** while sleeping with someone else.

I meant on Report her or not , if I should inform the embassy about her so that she is flagged by the time she gets her interview at the USEm Manila.

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

There is no security in being a lying, cheating scammer. She has found no security. Only a temporary scam income. The fact she can do this to him means she has zero respect for him so this relationship will end soon enough. She can't put on that act 24/7 once they are living together.

Security, and money is obviously a component of that, is found through a man that provides a lifetime stable environment to raise a family. To get that, a woman provides security in return by being faithful, trustworthy, improving your life and taking care of you - not doing what this woman is doing.

I think we are in agreement actually but would word this differently. I think it was pretty clear she was a scammer from the outset, looking for the quick money and not security. Because you don't steal if you want security. You steal when you aren't thinking at all about the future: just get your hands on some cash right now quick, and stealing will do that. If you want a whole lifetime of money instead of just a quick scam then be a faithful wife.

Why are you judging me and acting angry toward me.....you dont know me.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Busted!

Oh, I don't care about MARIA anymore. I just feel so sorry for the poor guy who is supporting her a** while sleeping with someone else.

I meant on Report her or not , if I should inform the embassy about her so that she is flagged by the time she gets her interview at the USEm Manila.

Your reporting her to the embassy will have ZERO impact, they get tons of letters and calls like that and "circle file" them all.

Close the blinds on that window and open the blinds of another window....

[Gumbolette 58]

alright. I think I will then just let this be on Lord's hand.

What comes up must come down anyway.

[gretchen_darren 67]

two of the hardest things in life:

1) letting a child of your own get hurt when you know just listening to you could prevent it

2) watching the child take the punishment for the hurt.

this is also true of good friends. You have a good heart. Sometimes watching the train wreck knowing it is about to happen is hard when people are going by you so fast, they can't hear your whisper to "stop".