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Jaylen Brit

Instructions for Giving you Cat a Pill

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I think I may have posted this in the old forum - but I can't remember so Im posting it again cos it makes me HOWL with laughter :D

Instructions for Giving Your Cat a Pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call friend.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down remove ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to friend's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, hold cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet of steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get friend to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

:yes:


Applied for K1

Met online 2001 - just aquaintances

Sept 2002 - 1st US visit - everything goes perfectly.

Dec 20th - Forms recev'd at CSC

Dec 27th - NOA1 received by snail mail!

Dec 29th - 'Touched'

March 10 2006 - NOA2!

March 23 - recv'd at NVC

March 24 - petition sent to London

April 9th - Pkt 3 rec'd!

May 17th - Pkt 3 signed for at London Embassy

May 24th - Medical

May24th - Pkt 4

June 14th - Interview 10am - APPROVED 1pm!!

June 16th - Visas received in my hot little hands 1pm :)

July 19th - flying to US!

July 27th - Married!! :-)

Aug 7th - Applied for SSN in married name

Aug 9th - SSN received

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I'm not a lawyer I just have opinions on everything :)

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My sister and I gave our cat a bath once (when we were younger). The cat had all it's claws too! I never laughed so much in my life even though I was clawed over and over. The cat must have thought I was insane.


"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies."

Senator Barack Obama
Senate Floor Speech on Public Debt
March 16, 2006



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I still have a scar on my hand from when I cat-sat and had to give the cat pills <_<

My hands are also covered in about 30 scratches from my cat....she's a b&%ch! But I love her :)


Naturalization

=======================================

02/02/2015 - Filed Dallas lockbox. Atlanta office.

02/13/2015 - NOA received

03/10/2015 - Biometrics

03/12/2015 - In-Line for Interview

04/09/2015 - E-notification for Interview Letter

05/18/2015 - Interview - passed!

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i usually just choke sanita's cat until it's mouth flies open and stuff the pill down her throat.... :whistle::whistle:

note...i was just joking and i don't want to stir the cat folks up... :yes:


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Colombia
Timeline

Pictures please.


Johanna & Peter

Colombia / U.S.A.

I-129F / K-1 Fiancee Visa

08-20-02 - Met Johanna in Armenia, Colombia

10-05-05 - K-1 Sent to TSC

10-14-05 - Received NOA1 by E-Mail (Day 9)

12-22-05 - Reveived NOA2 By E-Mail & Mail (Day 78)

03-03-06 - Interview Date! (Day 149) Approved

03-10-06 - Johanna Arrived

05-27-06 - Married

I-485 / AOS (Did not applied for EAD or AP)

06-05-06 - Sent I-485 application to Chicago via USPS (Day 1)

06-06-06 - AOS Package Delivered at 12:29PM

06-12-06 - Received NOA1 by Mail

06-14-06 - Check Cashed

06-22-06 - Received Appointment Notice for Biometrics

06-26-06 - "Request for Additional Evidence" Online, waiting for letter

06-29-06 - Biometrics Done!

06-30-06 - Received RFE Letter by mail. (Missing Birth Certificate)

07-10-06 - Sent RFE by Express Mail USPS

07-11-06 - RFE Delivered @ 10:54AM Sign by D. Atwell

08-28-06 - AOS Transferred to CSC E-mail & USCIS Website (Day 85)

08-30-06 - Touched #1

08-31-06 - Touched #2

08-31-06 - E-Mail from CRIS & USCIS-CSSO - CSC received AOS Application

09-01-06 - Touched #3

09-01-06 - NOA by Mail Regarding Transfer to CSC

09-05-06 - Touched #4

09-07-06 - Touched #5

09-13-06 - Touched #6

09-15-06 - AOS Approved by Online Status & E-mail

09-21-06 - Received GC and Welcome Letter (Day 109)

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Pictures please.

:lol::lol: no way..the cat mafia is intense here peter..


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

had two cats from a previous marriage--she kept the cats, i kept the Sheltie! but I used to have to wash the cats every few weeks as she was allergic to them. After awhile the cats did not mind, did not care for the bath tub, but they got better with age.


Canadians Visiting the USA while undergoing the visa process, my free advice:

1) Always tell the TRUTH. never lie to the POE officer

2) Be confident in ur replies

3) keep ur response short and to the point, don't tell ur life story!!

4) look the POE officer in the eye when speaking to them. They are looking for people lieing and have been trained to find them!

5) Pack light! No job resumes with you

6) Bring ties to Canada (letter from employer when ur expected back at work, lease, etc etc)

7) Always be polite, being rude isn't going to get ya anywhere, and could make things worse!!

8) Have a plan in case u do get denied (be polite) It wont harm ur visa application if ur denied,that is if ur polite and didn't lie! Refer to #1

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