Arguments About Sending Money Back Home?

[SuperDuper! 230]

If Ronald Reagan's fictitious welfare queen who runs around town in a Cadillac makes your blood boil, then the magnitude of corporate welfare should make your head explode.

Off topic, much?

[BJZags 17]

As many here know, my biggest concern about this topic is the constant "breeding" that leads to more and more children to support. My wife and I have made a conscious choice to only have one child because they are EXPENSIVE. Many in the PHL don't understand this concept, so I have little compassion to help someone who couldn't support three kids, but now have four. I understand its not the kids fault to be born into this mess, but no one person in American can support an entire village!

[Leatherneck 693]

As many here know, my biggest concern about this topic is the constant "breeding" that leads to more and more children to support. My wife and I have made a conscious choice to only have one child because they are EXPENSIVE. Many in the PHL don't understand this concept, so I have little compassion to help someone who couldn't support three kids, but now have four. I understand its not the kids fault to be born into this mess, but no one person in American can support an entire village!

You and your wife are being responsible in your approach to having kids.

"Constant breeding," look to culture and the Catholic church on that one.

It's no surprise the people who can least afford to have kids, have the most and on average those with the wealth and means to support lots of kids, have the fewest.

[rlogan 2,036]

they think america is a lolipop land they don't have a clue about our crisis and economy here.if you send them money right after western union they go to jollibee they dont even think about to multiply the money u sent on their own ways..

I feel badly for you, being abused like that.

I have a comment about this alleged belief in the Philippines that money grows on trees here. The people who act that way know it isn't true. It is the same lie a bank robber uses when he steals from banks. He says the banks did not earn the money, or that he is not stealing from "people", but just the robber baron banks.

You should NEVER get defensive and try explaining to people of bad character that you had to work for your money. That's their whole strategy - to put you on the defensive. Don't do it. You have to shine the white heat of truth on THEM and THEIR actions. The answer is "no", we are not going to support your bad behavior.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

When I met my fiancee, the thought of having to help her family never crossed my mind. When I had my first love back in grade school, I did not think "hmm, I like this girl, but let me research her more carefully and see if her family will need my lunch money in the future." I've never thought I would be in a relationship where I had to support my fiancee's family back home, but I fell in love with her. Why would I turn away simply because I had to help her family in return?

There's a head scratcher.

"had"... hmmmm....had....as in....have to?...or...a must do?...

"in return"... ...like a trade?..hmmmm ...in return... ...in return for what?

So...bcoz you love your fiancee.. you have to help her family? Otherwise, you would have to turn away?

Edited November 13, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Tahoma 2,291]

Off topic, much?

Reading comprehension problems much?

You should be asking scruffydog your question.

[southcalhog 43]

Reading comprehension problems much?

You should be asking scruffydog your question.

[Kang 22]

One problem with many Filipinos is the mentalty just because you are Abroad or have a decent job is that "you already have lots of Money". I heard this phrase from a relative. I said that we dont have much money, we havd lots of debt. We work hard to cover bills and someone who does not work her #### and just rely on what her kids are giving her, i feel insulted.

The problem with many filipino families is that they want their relatives to work and work not so that those relatives can have a better future but so that someone can provide for them while they can make their butts fat

[Darnell 8,478]

maning - thanks for your post - it's a different perspective than most of the other threads started on this topic.

Hopefully, rlogan has already chimed in, or will chime in, soon. I'll try to find the other threads on this topic, one or two of them went on for weeks as everyone 'chimed in'.

[ronluvme 10]

@rlogan,

You were right but now I am very aware and I investigate first before I made some action.lesson learned like most people say....they cannot fool me anymore..Emergency stuff is fine I can deal with that,and now they are making a new trick I knew it......I told them to find a job coz my husband is working hard for every penny that we have.....

[maning 36]

There's a head scratcher.

"had"... hmmmm....had....as in....have to?...or...a must do?...

"in return"... ...like a trade?..hmmmm ...in return... ...in return for what?

So...bcoz you love your fiancee.. you have to help her family? Otherwise, you would have to turn away?

No that doesn't even make any sense because you're taking what I said out of context. If you read my entire post I was directing my answer to someone's comment... the other poster misinterpreted that we were talking bad about our fiancees, but we were only discussing our experiences with sending money to family back home. I simply stated that I would never LEAVE my fiancee, just because I had to help her family.

I'm trying to not add more to this because you might misinterpret what I'm saying again.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

No that doesn't even make any sense because you're taking what I said out of context. If you read my entire post I was directing my answer to someone's comment... the other poster misinterpreted that we were talking bad about our fiancees, but we were only discussing our experiences with sending money to family back home. I simply stated that I would never LEAVE my fiancee, just because I had to help her family.

I'm trying to not add more to this because you might misinterpret what I'm saying again.

I did read your entire post. I did not misinterpret your post.

Didn't you notice the question marks at the end of each phrase? I asked questions hoping to garner clarification.

You clarified. Thanks.

(There are so many threads (in this forum) regarding the "money topic", I have lost count.)

2 more questions please.

1) Are you (simply) stating...that you love your fiancee and you accept the responsibility of helping her family?

2) Does your relationship (with your fiancee) require helping the family as a relationship thriller/killer?

Edited November 14, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Love83 3]

It is good to help but there should always be a "LIMIT" , It is nice to see someone u helped doing their best to survive/help themselves. :)

[BJZags 17]

It is good to help but there should always be a "LIMIT"

Sounds like the OP's parents did not do a very good job at setting limits. If the mom and dad are sending so much money back to the PHL they can't even buy X-Mas gifts for their own child, than something is wrong with that picture if you ask me.

I'm also curious at what generation does the perceived remittance obligation stop? Is the OP expected by his family to continue the tradition to his distant cousins, nieces and nephews etc.?

[SemperAye 2]

One thing that an American should understand with Filipino culture is that, in earlier times even earlier than 80's a lot of women do not work. When they get married, they give up their career to become the best homemaker to produce "better children". Most Filipinos do not have health insurance and educational plan. So if one of their kids finish school and ready to get a job, they have to help their younger siblings in their school expenses as well as on the utilities. They usually do not leave home until they're married, and sometimes they still stay at home even if they are. The ones that has most responsibilities in the family are eldest, and the most blessed (financially) sometimes The only guy in the siblings. So if you are married to the eldest, expect this. People wants to have kids out of bio pressure and they want someone to take care of them when they get old. Insurance and pension never crossed their mind because they have children.

Why they keep on bearing babies? The church do not support contraceptives.

Thats fine but the fact is in america these days most families need 2 full time incomes to survive, and there we be NO extra income in these families. My wife moved to America, we didn't move to the Philippines, thus our lives are much different and while I understand where her family is coming from there is simply no money budgeted for giveaway in our family not even 10$/m and we cant seem to get that across to them..any ideas?