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[missicy 87]

* I hate the medical system..

* I hate how everything is so expensive.

* Evrything thing always seems like alot of hassel (nothing is simple and easy)

* Having to pay money for a bank account, i mean what the hell is that all about.

Everything always seems so far apart..

This country should be rolling in money, i mean state tax and then also country tax.

* Back home ur employer takes the tax out of yr paycheck every week/month (one tax which is for the entire country).

* when u buy something the tax is already in the price so u dont have to worry about adding it on top.

* I never payed money for my bank acount

* We have medical care (NHS), Evrybody in England has medical whether yr working or not, even if yr an imigrant.

* Doesnt take you hours on end just to apply for a job, i can not believe the ####### they ask. unnessary Question as for as im concerned.

I may sound like im moaning alot but when i compare to what iv know all my life, Things in England seem better.

I maybe i also find it hard becoz me and my husband are lving with his dad, I feel uncomfortable most times, i do the cleaning as i feel i should becoz im not working which is fare anough.

I have no Qualification here, i went to beauty school back in England but its gunna cost a couple $$$ to just convert my certificates and to find out if i need futher training ect, so that is also very frustating to me.

Until u have moved here u dont realise how much it is different, and how much u miss what u are used to.. Some ppl i guess adapt easier than others.

I feel you, I am often frustrated by the same things. Well, at least my husband and I live alone and can have a pet. I've been here for 8 months and don't have friends yet. Not having a driver's license yet and always having to depend on husband to get things done doesn't help either. I'm in Southern Cali too, but in Camarillo which is about two hours from you, I guess. I wish we were closer.

[yorkshirerose22 4]

I feel you, I am often frustrated by the same things. Well, at least my husband and I live alone and can have a pet. I've been here for 8 months and don't have friends yet. Not having a driver's license yet and always having to depend on husband to get things done doesn't help either. I'm in Southern Cali too, but in Camarillo which is about two hours from you, I guess. I wish we were closer.

I have just got my drivers permit, so now i can start learning, but i am terrified of drivin on the roads here lol. It is horrible relying all the time on other to take you places etc.. Its amazing how many ppl that have moved here feel the same, thats y i started this forum in hoping to connect/ make friends with ppl that feel the same.

I hoping one day i can have a pet , i know my husband would let me have a dog if it was just us to

Yes it is a shame we didnt live closer. Where are you from?

[englishbunny 1]

* I hate the medical system..

* I hate how everything is so expensive.

* Evrything thing always seems like alot of hassel (nothing is simple and easy)

* Having to pay money for a bank account, i mean what the hell is that all about.

Everything always seems so far apart..

This country should be rolling in money, i mean state tax and then also country tax.

* Back home ur employer takes the tax out of yr paycheck every week/month (one tax which is for the entire country).

* when u buy something the tax is already in the price so u dont have to worry about adding it on top.

* I never payed money for my bank acount

* We have medical care (NHS), Evrybody in England has medical whether yr working or not, even if yr an imigrant.

* Doesnt take you hours on end just to apply for a job, i can not believe the ####### they ask. unnessary Question as for as im concerned.

I may sound like im moaning alot but when i compare to what iv know all my life, Things in England seem better.

I maybe i also find it hard becoz me and my husband are lving with his dad, I feel uncomfortable most times, i do the cleaning as i feel i should becoz im not working which is fare anough.

I am a huge animal love and i want a pet, but my father in- law doesnt like animals in his house, back home i always had pets, i had to give up my pet rabbits to move here.. if i had a dog its be companian, and i think that would be away to get me out of the house and mayb meet ppl.

I would love to make the house more femine and also updated (living in the 70s) but of course i carnt.

They things i did back home and now i carnt do them, i didnt realise that it would be this way.

I was thinking of voluntering at a dog kennel or scrapbooking store, i have a passion for animals and art.

I have no Qualification here, i went to beauty school back in England but its gunna cost a couple $$$ to just convert my certificates and to find out if i need futher training ect, so that is also very frustating to me.

Until u have moved here u dont realise how much it is different, and how much u miss what u are used to.. Some ppl i guess adapt easier than others.

I dont think me being a shy person who has very low self asteem and no confidence helps.

I think a slight change of perspective will help a lot here. It's funny because I'm from the UK but my take on the things you hate about the US is so so different:

* Medical system - no doubt it's a pain in the ####### - but I take the view it's better to pay and look after yourself, than have an imperfect system with extremely long wait times and hospitals which are dirty and ridden with disease. There are ways around it and more affordable options - for example for my Birth Control I went to Planned Parenthood who were excellent. I would rather pay lower taxes and pay for my own medical system which is reliable than pay higher taxes + council tax + god knows whatever tax and have a sub-par NHS.

* Cost of Living - OK I'm sorry but I just don't know how you can say this. My H & I were working in the UK and we were lucky if we had any money left following our bills. After you have a huge amount of tax taken out from your employer, you then have council tax, then mandatory TV license. You need Sky let's face it so that's a BT bill then a Sky Bill. Then a mobile phone bill. Then water, and gas AND electricity AND Sewage. Petrol is crazy expensive. Right now in the US we have half the bills we had in the UK. Plus, sales tax in the UK is now 20%. I've just looked up sales tax in Cali - something like 7.25% - so that's less than half than the UK whether it's added on at source or not.

I'm not having a dig - I'm just trying to say that it's all about perspective and you have to make the best of the situation. You're very lucky to be in the US and you have a marriage you're happy in - if you focus more on the positives it'll help.

Regarding meeting new people, have you tried meet up groups on the net... something like meetup.com? You could go with your hubby and meet new couples.

I would DEFINATELY volunteer if you can, it'll get you out there and make the days go by so much faster and keep you busy.

Good Luck! I'm really sorry the US isn't what you want it to be - give it a chance and maybe it'll turn itself around.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

I think a slight change of perspective will help a lot here. It's funny because I'm from the UK but my take on the things you hate about the US is so so different:

* Medical system - no doubt it's a pain in the ####### - but I take the view it's better to pay and look after yourself, than have an imperfect system with extremely long wait times and hospitals which are dirty and ridden with disease. There are ways around it and more affordable options - for example for my Birth Control I went to Planned Parenthood who were excellent. I would rather pay lower taxes and pay for my own medical system which is reliable than pay higher taxes + council tax + god knows whatever tax and have a sub-par NHS.

* Cost of Living - OK I'm sorry but I just don't know how you can say this. My H & I were working in the UK and we were lucky if we had any money left following our bills. After you have a huge amount of tax taken out from your employer, you then have council tax, then mandatory TV license. You need Sky let's face it so that's a BT bill then a Sky Bill. Then a mobile phone bill. Then water, and gas AND electricity AND Sewage. Petrol is crazy expensive. Right now in the US we have half the bills we had in the UK. Plus, sales tax in the UK is now 20%. I've just looked up sales tax in Cali - something like 7.25% - so that's less than half than the UK whether it's added on at source or not.

I'm not having a dig - I'm just trying to say that it's all about perspective and you have to make the best of the situation. You're very lucky to be in the US and you have a marriage you're happy in - if you focus more on the positives it'll help.

Regarding meeting new people, have you tried meet up groups on the net... something like meetup.com? You could go with your hubby and meet new couples.

I would DEFINATELY volunteer if you can, it'll get you out there and make the days go by so much faster and keep you busy.

Good Luck! I'm really sorry the US isn't what you want it to be - give it a chance and maybe it'll turn itself around.

Englishbunny, I could have written your post

Yorkshirerose:

I can also HIGHLY recommend volunteering!

I've been here for 10 months and have made friends through volunteering (it can also help with confidence...volunteering your time speaks of your character and the people you work with will appreciate your time. PLUS it gets you out of the house!), I also attended a free weekly yoga class through my local library. I also emailed the wifes and girlfriends of my husbands colleagues and met up for coffee. One of them even let me borrow her car for my driving test and practiced with me. When I first got here I spent time going to my local library to check out books and now I know people there to chat with and I am recognised which makes you feel part of your community. Which is something you probably miss if you come from a small town. You can also 'audit' classes at the local university which means you attend but don't take exams..or pay for them. I considered that when I didn't have my greencard. Another way to meet people.

I volunteered full time when I got here and I got a job easily when I started job hunting because I had US references (which was a major factor) and I had learned the 'language' of my field here in the US.

If you are a beauty therapist can you advertise for clients and do home visits? Can you do charity work to offer your services to women who are suffering with illness or physical issues?

You may have low self esteem but you talk on here as someone intelligent and kind. You just need to get yourself out there!

Good luck with everything!

Edited September 5, 2011 by Helen Louise Pile

[englishbunny 1]

Englishbunny, I could have written your post

Yorkshirerose:

I can also HIGHLY recommend volunteering!

I've been here for 10 months and have made friends through volunteering (it can also help with confidence...volunteering your time speaks of your character and the people you work with will appreciate your time. PLUS it gets you out of the house!), I also attended a free weekly yoga class through my local library. I also emailed the wifes and girlfriends of my husbands colleagues and met up for coffee. One of them even let me borrow her car for my driving test and practiced with me. When I first got here I spent time going to my local library to check out books and now I know people there to chat with and I am recognised which makes you feel part of your community. Which is something you probably miss if you come from a small town. You can also 'audit' classes at the local university which means you attend but don't take exams..or pay for them. I considered that when I didn't have my greencard. Another way to meet people.

I volunteered full time when I got here and I got a job easily when I started job hunting because I had US references (which was a major factor) and I had learned the 'language' of my field here in the US.

If you are a beauty therapist can you advertise for clients and do home visits? Can you do charity work to offer your services to women who are suffering with illness or physical issues?

You may have low self esteem but you talk on here as someone intelligent and kind. You just need to get yourself out there!

Good luck with everything!

Thanks for the thumbs up HLP, how is Vermont? You seem like you're settling in amazingly so kudos to you!!

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Thanks for the thumbs up HLP, how is Vermont? You seem like you're settling in amazingly so kudos to you!!

I am working at it!

It's not been easy and happy the whole time,I didn't ever expect it to be...but the one time I did get down about it I realised that I needed to stop complaining and do something about it.

Making friends takes investment of time and it's hard being the one actively 'looking' for friendships. I haven't made any really good girlfriends yet. But I try to meet as many people as I can and so I have a lot of friendships. I have met a lot of interesting people in the process. It's all part of the adventure right

Vermont is great! It was a very cold winter but a lot drier than Scotland and a lot of 'activities'. There are also a number of folks here from the UK. I work with a lady from Preston and there's a sandwich shop in town run by a lady from Yorkshire. They've both been here for 25years and still have their accents which gives me hope :)My accent is soft anyway but having to soften certain vowel sounds makes me worry about the future a wee bit.

How are you settling in? How long have you been here?

[J&N* 68]

Move to the tiniest apartment you 2 can afford, things will get a lot better and move from there, get a drivers license and a used car, it'll make all the difference in the world once you can get out on your own. Get a beginners job, doesn't have to be a great one, just something that can keep you busy. I had a hard time settling here as well, it takes time but the country isn't too bad and it's big and grand! Make the best of it and make it your home

[scotty2009 13]

Hi!

Did you say you're from Rancho Cucamonga? I know LA is crazy, but I am from where you at now and I know how it feels not to be able to drive around there. It's really lonely in that area. If you move here in LA as in central LA - Downtown, Santa MOnica, WeHO, NoHO, there are a lot of buses and trains. I still don't drive but it made a HUGE difference moving from that area to where I am at now. At least I can go out, take the bus and go to a mall. Walk to the store, etc. I wish you the best.

[andrea4prez 1]

Hi,

I have been here in the US over a year now and i still havent made friends, i am still not working so i dont really go out much other than with my husband.

I am really struggling to settle, i get home sick and miss my family alot.. I do not drive so im limited and i still dont know my way round properly. I feel kinda intimadated, i feel like a littlw mouse in a big maze and dont know what to do.

I am from a small town in England and now i live in a city, its hard to get used to everything being so far. They is alot of thing i hate here,and i really wounder how ppl can live here.. again im always comparing to back in England ( somethings do seem better over there, things i class as important like medical issues ) .

Iv created this forum in hoping to find/make friends and that feel the same way i do, I know im not alone on the way that i feel. When you have know one thing all yr life and then suddenly its all different its hard, its harder also when u hate alot of things too here.

I really hope things get better.

hey there!!! are you still in Rancho Cucamonga, California? I am from Rancho too since 2005...

[andrea4prez 1]

hey there!!! are you still in Rancho Cucamonga, California? I am from Rancho too since 2005...

EDIT : Where in Rancho, do you live?

If you dont have work permit yet, you can volunteer with the city... http://www.cityofrc.us/services/eoe.asp

or you can go to Victoria Gardens mall just to walk around or go the library there...

there are also a lot of seasonal job openings in the City...

[dukeandduchess 141]

Sorry you're not having a great time so far...

I think getting out and volunteering or working might help your situation a lot. At least you would be keeping yourself busy for part of the day! Even if you're volunteering, you might get a job offer or at least a reference for a job later on!

I am moving to Southern California (long beach area) in January/February. Maybe we could meet up then!

ps. Proactive is awesome for my stress outbreaks if I use it daily. It's not too expensive!

[RUSSandRACHEL 3]

Hi,

I have been here in the US over a year now and i still havent made friends, i am still not working so i dont really go out much other than with my husband.

I am really struggling to settle, i get home sick and miss my family alot.. I do not drive so im limited and i still dont know my way round properly. I feel kinda intimadated, i feel like a littlw mouse in a big maze and dont know what to do.

I am from a small town in England and now i live in a city, its hard to get used to everything being so far. They is alot of thing i hate here,and i really wounder how ppl can live here.. again im always comparing to back in England ( somethings do seem better over there, things i class as important like medical issues ) .

Iv created this forum in hoping to find/make friends and that feel the same way i do, I know im not alone on the way that i feel. When you have know one thing all yr life and then suddenly its all different its hard, its harder also when u hate alot of things too here.

I really hope things get better.

Ahh hun! I haven't been on here in a long time but just wanted to say hi! I totally understand where you're coming from. When I read your post, I felt like I was reading something I've written myself. I feel like I've been in a bubble for the last 18 months but... things are slowly getting better. My mom (who has never flewn in her life, not even to our wedding) came over last month to visit and I finally got somewhere with my Esthetician licence and had it approved a few weeks ago to work in the state of New York!!!! I can't drive though and there is literally nothing around here that I can get to. I sit at home every day working on my business (I make bridal accessories on Etsy) while my husband goes to work, I haven't made any friends and am really lonely. But, I want to start applying for part time jobs in the new year and see where that takes me. I was so confident back home (I'm from Birmingham) and moving here has totally changed me into an introverted, shy, quiet person. I hope things continue to improve. I don't have any good advice to give, I just wanted to say hi and that you're not alone!

All the best!

[Robert&Karen 264]

The USA is not rolling in money because we give it all away to other countries!

Before Karen came here I looked at moving to the UK.

I did not like the VAT of 20%.

I did not like gas being over $9/gal.

I did not like the attitudes based on what class heirarchy you are or where in town you are from.

I did not like the power that social workers had to rip families apart.

I did not like the lack of customer service in shops and stores.

I can go on and on.

But then Karen came to the USA.

She loves Root Beer which does not exist over there.

She loves that people are nice in all the shops.

She loves that she can carry a pocketknife and not be arrested for it.

She loves that taxes are so low because she does not pay for everyone else's health care.

She loves that the sun is out 300+ days a year.

I can go on and on.

Then again I have a cousin who moved from Redondo Beach to Leeds and he loves it. To each his own.

We are in the Inland Empire, southern CA, near Redlands. Victoria Gardens is a nice place, we all ought to have a reunion there sometime and share stories. :-)

Edited October 27, 2011 by Robert&Karen

[andrea4prez 1]

The USA is not rolling in money because we give it all away to other countries!

Before Karen came here I looked at moving to the UK.

I did not like the VAT of 20%.

I did not like gas being over $9/gal.

I did not like the attitudes based on what class heirarchy you are or where in town you are from.

I did not like the power that social workers had to rip families apart.

I did not like the lack of customer service in shops and stores.

I can go on and on.

But then Karen came to the USA.

She loves Root Beer which does not exist over there.

She loves that people are nice in all the shops.

She loves that she can carry a pocketknife and not be arrested for it.

She loves that taxes are so low because she does not pay for everyone else's health care.

She loves that the sun is out 300+ days a year.

I can go on and on.

Then again I have a cousin who moved from Redondo Beach to Leeds and he loves it. To each his own.

We are in the Inland Empire, southern CA, near Redlands. Victoria Gardens is a nice place, we all ought to have a reunion there sometime and share stories. :-)

good idea. I live in the Condos in front of Victoria Gardens so that would be a good place to go hehe

[calibob 73]

OP..........be careful of volunteering at the animal shelter. Make sure it isn't one that puts animals to sleep. I volunteered at one that did and it is sad to walk a dog and it be gone 2 days later when you come back. Maybe see if there is a dog sitting service that you can work for? Maybe dog walking? who knows , it's California. Just a thought........

Bob