Child Custody In Egypt (Slightly Off Topic)

[NY_BX 397]

I'm sorry. I hope you find strength and build up your self-esteem and love for yourself. I hope you surround yourself with people who respect you and treat you well. I hope you find a therapist or other means of building yourself up. I can't read your posts anymore. You seem like a sweet person, but I don't think you will ever see, at least without effective counseling or some other kind of epiphany, just what you are saying here. That was a very long post explaining the situation, and the entire post had to do with your fiance's desires to please himself, and your desire to please him. Not one word about anyone looking out for the child or thinking about the child's desires. Not one word in this thread about your independent desire to have a kid or two, your experience with raising children, whether you've build up a relationship online with the children, or anything. It's an immigration website, not a relationship website, and of course you're not obligated to provide any of that information.....BUT you responded at length to the situation in general, and your tunnel vision is so painfully glaring that I don't think you even realize you omitted the key facts, and as in all of your posts, inadvertently left me with a worse impression of your man and your future relationship. As I said before, although I know my words can't feel good to read right now, I am saying this out of concern. I just can't read about it anymore, though, because sometimes when a train wreck looks like it might happen, you need to squeeze your eyes shut, cover your ears, look the other way, and just pray that at the last minute the trains won't collide.

To the poster who felt the discussion was too much and came to the "MENA man uses Western woman" conclusion too quickly: It's not that I disagree with you completely about how overwhelming the responses have been. I've wondered how it must feel to come back online and read all these responses that were so unanimously and forcefully saying strong condemnations about someone's relationship and SO. With that said, I agree with the content of all of them. This is an instance where I think some people have seen some pretty bad stuff out there and feel compelled to shout out to the driver, "Hey, are you sure your train isn't about to crash?? Because from where I'm standing it looks like you're headed straight for another train." It's not because the fiance has stated his wish to be a live-in dad. For me, it's the context of all of the OP's posts, which time and time again display a major level of emotional vulnerability, a desperation to change herself and her entire life for a person she hasn't met in person yet, and an ease of trashing this man's ex-wife based on the trash he's spoken about her. The man's apparent callousness when it comes to raising his kids, his willingness to move to the US when he has a kid to leave even further behind despite making enough money now to support him, the man's pursuit of the OP while she was a married woman and his apparent interest and contact with her throughout his own marriage, the rush to marry and cobble together a family with existing children before even meeting in person...all of that is just icing on the "this smells like manipulation" cake. I think people are responding as much to the fact that the OP's posts sound like those of a victim or potential victim, as to hard evidence that the fiance is trying to scam her, but then requests like the custody thing don't help him look any better. I'm not saying the relationship IS fraud or that my observations are correct or anything, I'm just trying to explain that it was a bigger picture that I was looking at that had me so concerned, not just a simple pipe dream to have his boys live under one roof.

I'm ABSOLUTELY with you. And may I add, I am even offended the poster about "us going overboard" say that we're insinuating this is a MENA man using a "western" woman. F**k that #######! I do not care if you're MENA, European, Indian, purple, white, yellow, brown, gay or straight. If I believe you're a devilish, selfish mofo that takes advantage of others, I'll tell you on your face. I highly dislike this man and I don't even know his last name. That's my problem, however.

This "relatinoship" is a train wreck waiting to happen. You said it. And yes, I will shut my eyes and pray to God a miracle occurs. I will not read nor help this helpless woman anymore. She does need professional help (therapist, hollistic, etc). In the words of Ron White: "You can't fix stupid."

[Samoray 165]

Oh wow this post did kind of take off, lol. I've been offline for a bit.

Well it seems I left a lot out of the original post.

First, the "12 years old" thing was not my idea of an acceptable age. It just I read that in Egypt, the father has to wait until the kids are 12 before they can go live with him.... Or something like that.

I should also probably note that I came from a hard family. Rough around the edges. Almost everyone has been divorced, myself included. And in most cases, there were custody issues. Half the time, the father got the kids, and half the time the mother got them. Many times, there would be more than one custody battle, and the kids would end up going back and fourth. Plenty of step parents involved. Most of the custodial parents would move far out of visiting reach, after the divorce too. So I suppose at least in my family, the whole subject is a little more causal... Also, my own father raised me VERY far away from my mother, starting at age 10. I never even saw my mom at all, ages 10 to 16.

I wasn't trying to sound inconsiderate or mean, its just really common in my family. We talk about it kind of frankly, as if it were normal, lol.

The other thing is, my man confided in me that he didn't really like agree with her parenting methods, while they were married. Or the condition of the marriage itself. He tried to bring her and the kids to where he worked, because he wanted everyone with him. But she didn't want to come to him, she just wanted to stay in Egypt, and receive money from him.

He strongly felt that she only wanted his money, because it was an arranged marriage. His family worried about him being alone. But she readily volunteered for the marriage, because she wanted the respect of "being married", and because he had a good job. They were never in love. She never wanted much to do with him as a companion. Or with intimacy and such. Kinda slept with her back to him, or in a different room. And didn't really roll out the welcome mat when he came home... Never called him "honey" or "sweetie" stuff like that. Those things are extremely important to him, so it really bothered him a lot.

I guess he eventually figured "Well, if she just wants me to hand over the money, and stay away, then I might as well be free to be with someone who makes me happy." So he divorced her. As a single man, he couldn't take his oldest boy with him where he works, because he is sort of clueless about domestic stuff. So his sister offered to care for his oldest son, while his ex took the youngest. But neither situation was what he had planned for life.

So.... Its probably quite accurate to say that he is holding a "grudge" against his ex, I suppose. And that's why he feels this way. From day one, he just wanted a normal family. Like a wife who loves him, and lives in the same home with him, and see her there with his kids every day. But I think I'm going to have to talk to him, and explain that just because he's angry at her, and he doesn't approve of her parenting methods, doesn't mean he can just erase her and put me in her place. The best it could ever be is me, him, and his oldest son.

We've been talking a lot more about where we will be living, though. He actually wants to apply for jobs in the UAE, because he's not exactly crazy about working in Saudi anymore. I am considering going over to live with him wherever he will be, instead of going through all the U.S. I've already known him for 4 years. And I can't go see him this summer (things have come up), so I have to wait for next summer. And then if we do immigration, it will keep us apart for another year or more, because he I would have to stay in the US and work to maintain the apartment and the income requirement. So that's just not sounding very appealing to either of us.

As for moving wherever he is... Whether I work, or I'm a stay-at-home-mom, its all good with me. He doesn't mind either way. There are plenty of both types of women in my family. I've figured out little ways of making money online and such, and he earns enough, so we wouldn't be without means, wherever we decide to live.

But again, regardless of his personal issues and resentments with his ex, it doesn't sound very doable at all.

Hello, If you keep giving in information about your relationship, you will never be able to give the full picture to everyone here and you won't get away without being judged , cause we only can see what you're typing, and we neither know you nor we know your fiance, and i am sure all the previous posters that said how bad you are and how bad this man is, and how this relationship might not succeed, will never change your mind if you truly believe in this relationship.

[sandinista! 1,816]

you need to slow down and back off a bit. ameriptian has been around here a lot longer than you have, and when it comes to certain posters, she knows the score, a whole lot more than you do. i know exactly who that comment was in reference to, and ameriptian is absolutely correct in what she said. it does not mean that ameriptian thinks "melissa n khalid's" situation is any less screwed up than everyone else is saying it is. but there's a looooong, ongoing history of arab-bashing from a certain poster, and this certain poster never ever fails to show up and arab-bash when these kinds of threads come around. ameriptian knows the score. you'd do well to back up and learn a bit from her.

I'm ABSOLUTELY with you. And may I add, I am even offended the poster about "us going overboard" say that we're insinuating this is a MENA man using a "western" woman. F**k that #######! I do not care if you're MENA, European, Indian, purple, white, yellow, brown, gay or straight. If I believe you're a devilish, selfish mofo that takes advantage of others, I'll tell you on your face. I highly dislike this man and I don't even know his last name. That's my problem, however.

This "relatinoship" is a train wreck waiting to happen. You said it. And yes, I will shut my eyes and pray to God a miracle occurs. I will not read nor help this helpless woman anymore. She does need professional help (therapist, hollistic, etc). In the words of Ron White: "You can't fix stupid."

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I'm sorry. I hope you find strength and build up your self-esteem and love for yourself. I hope you surround yourself with people who respect you and treat you well. I hope you find a therapist or other means of building yourself up. I can't read your posts anymore. You seem like a sweet person, but I don't think you will ever see, at least without effective counseling or some other kind of epiphany, just what you are saying here. That was a very long post explaining the situation, and the entire post had to do with your fiance's desires to please himself, and your desire to please him. Not one word about anyone looking out for the child or thinking about the child's desires. Not one word in this thread about your independent desire to have a kid or two, your experience with raising children, whether you've build up a relationship online with the children, or anything. It's an immigration website, not a relationship website, and of course you're not obligated to provide any of that information.....BUT you responded at length to the situation in general, and your tunnel vision is so painfully glaring that I don't think you even realize you omitted the key facts, and as in all of your posts, inadvertently left me with a worse impression of your man and your future relationship. As I said before, although I know my words can't feel good to read right now, I am saying this out of concern. I just can't read about it anymore, though, because sometimes when a train wreck looks like it might happen, you need to squeeze your eyes shut, cover your ears, look the other way, and just pray that at the last minute the trains won't collide.

To the poster who felt the discussion was too much and came to the "MENA man uses Western woman" conclusion too quickly: It's not that I disagree with you completely about how overwhelming the responses have been. I've wondered how it must feel to come back online and read all these responses that were so unanimously and forcefully saying strong condemnations about someone's relationship and SO. With that said, I agree with the content of all of them. This is an instance where I think some people have seen some pretty bad stuff out there and feel compelled to shout out to the driver, "Hey, are you sure your train isn't about to crash?? Because from where I'm standing it looks like you're headed straight for another train." It's not because the fiance has stated his wish to be a live-in dad. For me, it's the context of all of the OP's posts, which time and time again display a major level of emotional vulnerability, a desperation to change herself and her entire life for a person she hasn't met in person yet, and an ease of trashing this man's ex-wife based on the trash he's spoken about her. The man's apparent callousness when it comes to raising his kids, his willingness to move to the US when he has a kid to leave even further behind despite making enough money now to support him, the man's pursuit of the OP while she was a married woman and his apparent interest and contact with her throughout his own marriage, the rush to marry and cobble together a family with existing children before even meeting in person...all of that is just icing on the "this smells like manipulation" cake. I think people are responding as much to the fact that the OP's posts sound like those of a victim or potential victim, as to hard evidence that the fiance is trying to scam her, but then requests like the custody thing don't help him look any better. I'm not saying the relationship IS fraud or that my observations are correct or anything, I'm just trying to explain that it was a bigger picture that I was looking at that had me so concerned, not just a simple pipe dream to have his boys live under one roof.

I couldn't agree more with the first part of your post... Obviously the OP and her boyfriend have lots of work to do in their relationship before they even bring marriage/engagement/custody battles up too quickly.. It should all start with meeting person, for God's sake!

I've been on these boards for a little over two years and I can't count how many times I've seen people jump into a relationship and even marriage with somebody they barely know, only to find out how different they are and how impossible for them in the spouse to live together under one roof.. Some of these cases involve clear scams, other cases are the spouses can't get along, other cases involve other elements...

I just think we only got to hear/read the views of one person in a relationship that involves two people, and it is very unfair to just assume somebody is a scammer or go way to far and unreasonably connect them with domestic violence and abuse!!!!! That is what I consider overboard...

Like I said he is a parent and expressing his wish to have both his boys under one roof sounds very sweet, IN HIS DREAMS right??? Because realistically, with the type of 'parent' he seems, his chances of obtaining custody are non-existent...

I am personally involved in a similar situation.. I am a full-time mother to my two step-children whom I wouldn't trade for the world.. My husband has full custody of them and the 'mother' only gets visitations... She occasionally keeps bringing up that she is going to go to court to get custody of the children 'out of spite', just because the children have a full-time mother in their life.. But, with the type of person and the lack-of-a-mother she is, she can only wish right?? I don't care if she goes, the courts will grant her nothing... Just the like OP's boyfriend/fiance, he has not been in the child's life..so he can only dream of having custody... I don't care if he pays child support or not.. Paying MONEY that you are ordered to pay, doesn't make you a good parent...

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I'm ABSOLUTELY with you. And may I add, I am even offended the poster about "us going overboard" say that we're insinuating this is a MENA man using a "western" woman. F**k that #######! I do not care if you're MENA, European, Indian, purple, white, yellow, brown, gay or straight. If I believe you're a devilish, selfish mofo that takes advantage of others, I'll tell you on your face. I highly dislike this man and I don't even know his last name. That's my problem, however.

This "relatinoship" is a train wreck waiting to happen. You said it. And yes, I will shut my eyes and pray to God a miracle occurs. I will not read nor help this helpless woman anymore. She does need professional help (therapist, hollistic, etc). In the words of Ron White: "You can't fix stupid."

First, I was not referring to you by my post...

Second, your choice of words is just ...!! And, it certainly shows a lot about what type of person you are...

Third, what does your type of work and the cases you deal with have anything to do with the OP's question about Custody Laws in Egypt??? Do you go around like that and pass judgements all the time??

So just because the 'obviously' naive woman comes here to ask for help with a question...You connect her boyfriend with abuse and domestic violence, you say that she needs a therapist, and you compare her to being stupid???!!!

Unbelievable!!!

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Oh wow this post did kind of take off, lol. I've been offline for a bit.

Well it seems I left a lot out of the original post.

First, the "12 years old" thing was not my idea of an acceptable age. It just I read that in Egypt, the father has to wait until the kids are 12 before they can go live with him.... Or something like that.

I should also probably note that I came from a hard family. Rough around the edges. Almost everyone has been divorced, myself included. And in most cases, there were custody issues. Half the time, the father got the kids, and half the time the mother got them. Many times, there would be more than one custody battle, and the kids would end up going back and fourth. Plenty of step parents involved. Most of the custodial parents would move far out of visiting reach, after the divorce too. So I suppose at least in my family, the whole subject is a little more causal... Also, my own father raised me VERY far away from my mother, starting at age 10. I never even saw my mom at all, ages 10 to 16.

I wasn't trying to sound inconsiderate or mean, its just really common in my family. We talk about it kind of frankly, as if it were normal, lol.

The other thing is, my man confided in me that he didn't really like agree with her parenting methods, while they were married. Or the condition of the marriage itself. He tried to bring her and the kids to where he worked, because he wanted everyone with him. But she didn't want to come to him, she just wanted to stay in Egypt, and receive money from him.

He strongly felt that she only wanted his money, because it was an arranged marriage. His family worried about him being alone. But she readily volunteered for the marriage, because she wanted the respect of "being married", and because he had a good job. They were never in love. She never wanted much to do with him as a companion. Or with intimacy and such. Kinda slept with her back to him, or in a different room. And didn't really roll out the welcome mat when he came home... Never called him "honey" or "sweetie" stuff like that. Those things are extremely important to him, so it really bothered him a lot.

I guess he eventually figured "Well, if she just wants me to hand over the money, and stay away, then I might as well be free to be with someone who makes me happy." So he divorced her. As a single man, he couldn't take his oldest boy with him where he works, because he is sort of clueless about domestic stuff. So his sister offered to care for his oldest son, while his ex took the youngest. But neither situation was what he had planned for life.

So.... Its probably quite accurate to say that he is holding a "grudge" against his ex, I suppose. And that's why he feels this way. From day one, he just wanted a normal family. Like a wife who loves him, and lives in the same home with him, and see her there with his kids every day. But I think I'm going to have to talk to him, and explain that just because he's angry at her, and he doesn't approve of her parenting methods, doesn't mean he can just erase her and put me in her place. The best it could ever be is me, him, and his oldest son.

We've been talking a lot more about where we will be living, though. He actually wants to apply for jobs in the UAE, because he's not exactly crazy about working in Saudi anymore. I am considering going over to live with him wherever he will be, instead of going through all the U.S. I've already known him for 4 years. And I can't go see him this summer (things have come up), so I have to wait for next summer. And then if we do immigration, it will keep us apart for another year or more, because he I would have to stay in the US and work to maintain the apartment and the income requirement. So that's just not sounding very appealing to either of us.

As for moving wherever he is... Whether I work, or I'm a stay-at-home-mom, its all good with me. He doesn't mind either way. There are plenty of both types of women in my family. I've figured out little ways of making money online and such, and he earns enough, so we wouldn't be without means, wherever we decide to live.

But again, regardless of his personal issues and resentments with his ex, it doesn't sound very doable at all.

Like I mentioned in my post to crossed_fingers.. I have seen many cases here in the past two years (that go back longer than 2 years), when two people from totally different cultures and different backgrounds meet online and 'think' they are deeply in love... Your feelings towards your boyfriend and his feelings towards you, could be very true... But, before you commit to somebody you barely know and talk about big plans like engagement/marriage/custody/move across the globe to be4 with him no-matter-what-country-he-moves-to... You two need to meet IN PERSON first.. and see if you get along and if your relationship could work IN REAL LIFE...

You need to open your eyes and NEVER ignore any red flags.. Trust your instincts! The fact that he wants to take his second son from the full-time dedicated poor mother 'out of spite', definitely is not in his favor..

It takes to two to make a relationship work.. And, obviously, the two have to meet first.. It seems like you are ready to give it up all TOO EARLY to fit the life he wants... But, what about you in all this?? You need to think about that.. Before, you make a decision to proceed with anything.. Ask yourself, would have be willing to give it all up for me too?, Are our roles balanced in this relationship?, Do I only feel self-worthy through him?, etc.

I don't need to repeat my opinion on him trying to obtain custody of the child, you read that a few times already....

Good luck with everything...

[NY_BX 397]

you need to slow down and back off a bit. ameriptian has been around here a lot longer than you have, and when it comes to certain posters, she knows the score, a whole lot more than you do. i know exactly who that comment was in reference to, and ameriptian is absolutely correct in what she said. it does not mean that ameriptian thinks "melissa n khalid's" situation is any less screwed up than everyone else is saying it is. but there's a looooong, ongoing history of arab-bashing from a certain poster, and this certain poster never ever fails to show up and arab-bash when these kinds of threads come around. ameriptian knows the score. you'd do well to back up and learn a bit from her.

Don't ever tell me what I must and must not do. I did not insult the poster and s/he is certainly free, as we both are, to say what s/he has to say. The LAST thing I'll ever do is bash a certain group/ community. Do not ever put me in that category and I am very sorry there are arab-bashing zealots posting in these threads.

[NY_BX 397]

First, I was not referring to you by my post...

Second, your choice of words is just ...!! And, it certainly shows a lot about what type of person you are...

Third, what does your type of work and the cases you deal with have anything to do with the OP's question about Custody Laws in Egypt??? Do you go around like that and pass judgements all the time??

So just because the 'obviously' naive woman comes here to ask for help with a question...You connect her boyfriend with abuse and domestic violence, you say that she needs a therapist, and you compare her to being stupid???!!!

Unbelievable!!!

I never predicted she'll be a victim of those crimes. I just said that being proactive, in general, may prevent cases like those. My choice of words are my choice of words. Yours are yours. I take responsibility for them, and respect yours.

What type of person I am? One that cares....

I'm sure you are a person that cares too.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Don't ever tell me what I must and must not do. I did not insult the poster and s/he is certainly free, as we both are, to say what s/he has to say. The LAST thing I'll ever do is bash a certain group/ community. Do not ever put me in that category and I am very sorry there are arab-bashing zealots posting in these threads.

Sandinista did not tell you what you must do or must not do.. She never said anything about you bashing any type of group.. She was advising you of what she knows... She did not put you in any category... Read her post again!

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

In regards to this whole "relationship" and "engagement" and "custody issue" I just want to say one last thing then really I am done, this topic doesn't deserve any of our time or efforts my fellow VJers... but I wanna say in the words of Forest Gump... STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Don't ever tell me what I must and must not do. I did not insult the poster and s/he is certainly free, as we both are, to say what s/he has to say. The LAST thing I'll ever do is bash a certain group/ community. Do not ever put me in that category and I am very sorry there are arab-bashing zealots posting in these threads.

it's utterly hilarious how seriously you take yrself. yr a noob, and you don't know what yr talking about. i attempted to fill you in on what often goes down in mena threads and you bark that i'm telling you what to do. fantastic. i didn't put you in any categories or any such nonsense. you made comments about ameriptian that were completely and utterly off base, and all i said was that if you knew any of the background and history of the poster ameriptian was talking about, you would probably not want to have anything to do with them. i had no idea the internets was such serious business for you. ugh.

Sandinista did not tell you what you must do or must not do.. She never said anything about you bashing any type of group.. She was advising you of what she knows... She did not put you in any category... Read her post again!

thanks, cupcake.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I never predicted she'll be a victim of those crimes. I just said that being proactive, in general, may prevent cases like those. My choice of words are my choice of words. Yours are yours. I take responsibility for them, and respect yours.

What type of person I am? One that cares....

I'm sure you are a person that cares too.

It seems to me that you care about this situation too much that you are getting too emotionally involved in it and so defensive over it...

In the end of the day, the OP is an adult and she is able to choose in which direction her life goes.. Whether she choose to ignore or put into consideration any red flags about HER relationship, is entirely up to her...

Yes, I do care...but I am not getting myself too worked-up over the situation... Nor do I think that her boyfriend is a scammer or a potential abuser... He could be, he could be not.. But, that's for her to find out AFTER they meet in person... I am not in a position to pass judgements here since we have not heard his side of the story, and since it seems to me he wants a life with a new partner and he wants it all despite of his lack of parenting and his desire to re-build a family he once had over a poor woman's misery...

It seems to me that you and I know don't disagree on our view of the situation, we just express it differently, I guess...

[LaL 418]

It seems to me that you care about this situation too much that you are getting too emotionally involved in it and so defensive over it...

In the end - the OP is just asking a question. Perhaps musing over what can be and what have you, regardless however misguided it may appear to be - it's still just a question. No need to get all in a huff about it. Stick around as long as some people on here and one will see there is no shortage of head explodey-mind-blowing-headdesk moments here.

[NY_BX 397]

It seems to me that you care about this situation too much that you are getting too emotionally involved in it and so defensive over it...

In the end of the day, the OP is an adult and she is able to choose in which direction her life goes.. Whether she choose to ignore or put into consideration any red flags about HER relationship, is entirely up to her...

Yes, I do care...but I am not getting myself too worked-up over the situation... Nor do I think that her boyfriend is a scammer or a potential abuser... He could be, he could be not.. But, that's for her to find out AFTER they meet in person... I am not in a position to pass judgements here since we have not heard his side of the story, and since it seems to me he wants a life with a new partner and he wants it all despite of his lack of parenting and his desire to re-build a family he once had over a poor woman's misery...

It seems to me that you and I know don't disagree on our view of the situation, we just express it differently, I guess...

You're right. I accept my weakness and admire that you pointed it out.

Thank you.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I couldn't agree more with the first part of your post... Obviously the OP and her boyfriend have lots of work to do in their relationship before they even bring marriage/engagement/custody battles up too quickly.. It should all start with meeting person, for God's sake!

I've been on these boards for a little over two years and I can't count how many times I've seen people jump into a relationship and even marriage with somebody they barely know, only to find out how different they are and how impossible for them in the spouse to live together under one roof.. Some of these cases involve clear scams, other cases are the spouses can't get along, other cases involve other elements...

I just think we only got to hear/read the views of one person in a relationship that involves two people, and it is very unfair to just assume somebody is a scammer or go way to far and unreasonably connect them with domestic violence and abuse!!!!! That is what I consider overboard...

Like I said he is a parent and expressing his wish to have both his boys under one roof sounds very sweet, IN HIS DREAMS right??? Because realistically, with the type of 'parent' he seems, his chances of obtaining custody are non-existent...

I am personally involved in a similar situation.. I am a full-time mother to my two step-children whom I wouldn't trade for the world.. My husband has full custody of them and the 'mother' only gets visitations... She occasionally keeps bringing up that she is going to go to court to get custody of the children 'out of spite', just because the children have a full-time mother in their life.. But, with the type of person and the lack-of-a-mother she is, she can only wish right?? I don't care if she goes, the courts will grant her nothing... Just the like OP's boyfriend/fiance, he has not been in the child's life..so he can only dream of having custody... I don't care if he pays child support or not.. Paying MONEY that you are ordered to pay, doesn't make you a good parent...

Isnt your husband Egyptian? Where is their mother from? Is she Egyptian or American? The best thing you could do for those kids is to be kind to their mother and even if shes made mistakes, help them have the best relationship they can have with her.

Visitations are not an "only" thing. They are critical. Of course if your husband is Egyptian, you may very well feel that like your husband, its not such a big deal to pull full custody from a mother. As a mother, I find all of this very scary. I also have American friends who have kids overseas that they cannot see or have contact with because they signed over custody with a lot of promises that they would have access to their kids.

I think its important to not shout down or vilify anyone. I also dont think that taking away a mothers child just because Daddy wants to is always the best thing for a kid nor is a ready willing and child free step mom egging it on good thing either.. Half the time its to ingratiate herself to the dad and not in the best interest of the kids ( surely not your situation)

And the fact that this thread is again a real life example of how morals get thrown under a bus in the search for companionship speaks for itself

Edited June 25, 2011 by I made my bed