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ThomKimQC

Stranger things have been said...BUT

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Hello to all the Philippine VJer's -

Well I am back again with possibly another controversial topic but this time it kinda hit closer to home rather than the randomness of a piqued interest topic. Anyway before I dive right in a little background about me. Well I am a Black American (ooohahhhhhwhoa!) Yes it is true, I am also educated (wow really!) yea heard that one too LOL, own my home (yea Black people can own things these days) have a decent career (no its not in pharmaceutical entrepreneurship) :no: I am not privileged yet to own a bass fishing boat like my buddy Tallcoolone (jealous). I have traveled all over the world and have been blessed with a decent life with little to complain about. I have been to Philippines several times now and found it to be a home away from home. I have always been treated with open respect and in some parts like a rock star but a few episodes ago my fiance shared something interesting with me one of her friends said to her...

This other woman who I will not name asked my fiance "Aren't you afraid of black guys" :wow: so I was inclined to contact this lady to entertain her reasoning, but I let it go. Then just last week while my fiance was at the Embassy for her interview another lady of filipino roots said to my fiance "I am afraid of black guys they have big builds" WTH!...wait there is more, so my fiance is part of this Pretty ladies (VJ) group on FB and some member decided to share that black guys in America beat and mistreat their pinay wive...I mean really now.

It is so funny how these women feel as if they were not being disrespectful in any way to my fiance and other women of filipino roots who have healthy relationships with men other than white. So my question to any of you who feel inclined to comment, what is the problem? So is my color that big of an issue to filipino's and why would these few ladies being so vain to think its not rude and disrespectful to pose those questions?

I understand that men of color are underrepresented in Philippines and in terms of dating and potential love interest Brad Pit is the image of choice there BUT I could have fired back and asked this one lady why are you going across the world to marry a man that has been divorced 3 times 2 with pinay and what makes you think you are the one that changes it all for him. Or is it because I am not 55+ and grandfather looking with a healthy pension makes me less desirable? In other words 99.9% of women from the Philippines should be with Older white gents and those who found anything opposite should go slit their risks.

Late

Edited by ThomKimQC

THOM AND KIM's JOURNEY

Aug 31, 2010 - I-129F package sent to VSC

Sept 2, 2010 - NOA-1 hard copy received

Sept 5, 2010 - Check cashed

Nov 29, 2010 - Case Touched

Feb 25, 2011 - Contacted Senator

Feb 28, 2011 - NOA2 APPROVED **179 Days since NOA1 Received**

Mar 7, 2011 - NOA2 Hard Copy arrived

NVC

NVC receieved petition - Mar 7 2011

NVC case number received - Mar 8 2011 MNL2011XXXXXX

NVC case shipped to Embassy - Mar 9 2011

US Embassy Manila

Package delivered DHL - Mar 14 2011 signed by Leonilo

USEM - Medical- Passed Medical Mar 18 2011

USEM- Interview - APPROVED 4-14

USEM- VISA IN HAND - 4-30-2011

CFO - 5-2-2011

Kim on the plane 5-18-2011 Welcome to USA!

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That last word should be wrist not risks...LOL


THOM AND KIM's JOURNEY

Aug 31, 2010 - I-129F package sent to VSC

Sept 2, 2010 - NOA-1 hard copy received

Sept 5, 2010 - Check cashed

Nov 29, 2010 - Case Touched

Feb 25, 2011 - Contacted Senator

Feb 28, 2011 - NOA2 APPROVED **179 Days since NOA1 Received**

Mar 7, 2011 - NOA2 Hard Copy arrived

NVC

NVC receieved petition - Mar 7 2011

NVC case number received - Mar 8 2011 MNL2011XXXXXX

NVC case shipped to Embassy - Mar 9 2011

US Embassy Manila

Package delivered DHL - Mar 14 2011 signed by Leonilo

USEM - Medical- Passed Medical Mar 18 2011

USEM- Interview - APPROVED 4-14

USEM- VISA IN HAND - 4-30-2011

CFO - 5-2-2011

Kim on the plane 5-18-2011 Welcome to USA!

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From what i have come to understand that jugdeing a book by its cover is a big part of social culture in the philippines and it doesnt just have to do with you and your fiancee. I think it has alot to do with the fact that an outside appereance of a person will be what they see without getting to know the person. it is so bad there that they will be influenced about what is on the inside just from what they see. My fiancee is not that rich of a person and in trancends to her and her friends to she is looked down on from certin friends family just cause she is not well off even though she is the most nice and caring person i have met. This is just information i have picked from my fiancee not saying all filipinos are like this but could be one possibility. And i am sorry to say it has mostly to do with your skin color stay up man just dont let stuff like this bug you your above people who think like this. Love is all that matters Hear From Embassy Yet ?


I-129F Sent : 2010-10-20

I-129F NOA1 : 2010-10-22

I-129F RFE(s) : 2011-02-24

I-129F NOA2 : 2011-03-09

NVC Received : 2011-03-16

NVC Left : 2011-03-22

Packet 4 Received : 2011-03-25

Medical Exam : 2011-03-30 PASSED!

Interview Date : 2011-04-14 PASSED!

Visa received : 2011-04-26

CFO Stamp : 2011-05-02

Flight : 2011-05-04

Hello St. Louis 5:30 pm 2011-05-04 My Baby is home at last !

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Hello to all the Philippine VJer's -

Well I am back again with possibly another controversial topic but this time it kinda hit closer to home rather than the randomness of a piqued interest topic. Anyway before I dive right in a little background about me. Well I am a Black American (ooohahhhhhwhoa!) Yes it is true, I am also educated (wow really!) yea heard that one too LOL, own my home (yea Black people can own things these days) have a decent career (no its not in pharmaceutical entrepreneurship) :no: I am not privileged yet to own a bass fishing boat like my buddy Tallcoolone (jealous). I have traveled all over the world and have been blessed with a decent life with little to complain about. I have been to Philippines several times now and found it to be a home away from home. I have always been treated with open respect and in some parts like a rock star but a few episodes ago my fiance shared something interesting with me one of her friends said to her...

This other woman who I will not name asked my fiance "Aren't you afraid of black guys" :wow: so I was inclined to contact this lady to entertain her reasoning, but I let it go. Then just last week while my fiance was at the Embassy for her interview another lady of filipino roots said to my fiance "I am afraid of black guys they have big builds" WTH!...wait there is more, so my fiance is part of this Pretty ladies (VJ) group on FB and some member decided to share that black guys in America beat and mistreat their pinay wive...I mean really now.

It is so funny how these women feel as if they were not being disrespectful in any way to my fiance and other women of filipino roots who have healthy relationships with men other than white. So my question to any of you who feel inclined to comment, what is the problem? So is my color that big of an issue to filipino's and why would these few ladies being so vain to think its not rude and disrespectful to pose those questions?

I understand that men of color are underrepresented in Philippines and in terms of dating and potential love interest Brad Pit is the image of choice there BUT I could have fired back and asked this one lady why are you going across the world to marry a man that has been divorced 3 times 2 with pinay and what makes you think you are the one that changes it all for him. Or is it because I am not 55+ and grandfather looking with a healthy pension makes me less desirable? In other words 99.9% of women from the Philippines should be with Older white gents and those who found anything opposite should go slit their risks.

Late

Aw! well i think its more on becoz some if not most of those pinays see the white men as the norm...stories goes around like fire or virus sometimes. they hear one story and use that to categorized everyone of its kind.

i have lived in bahrain where i dealt with american navy people, both black & white and i can say both have some attitude problems of their own but for the most part they are good people. i have met a few black men who actually turned out to be my very good friends. so yeah sometimes unless you get to meet and acquinted with them you will never can say what they are or who they are. I say ignore them, you know yourself better than anyone and your fiance should do the same too.


Earn a $15 Gift Card!http://refer.xoom.com/a/clk/2BjwkwUse ENJOYDEC code to send free :)

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I'm sorry about what happened, it's a shame that until this day and age people still stereo-type others, people who do this are uneducated and arrogant. Just like there is a lot of discrimination against African Americans (not THAT much in the US anymore) there are discriminations against Asians and every group in the world.

Why do you care what THEY said? The only person you need to worry about is your fiancee, you don't have to defend yourself or prove anything. When things like this happen, just ignore it and save yourself the headache. Haters will be haters just because they wanna seem like they're better than others. Ignore them.

Best of luck.


K1 Timeline
03/08/10 - I-129F packet sent to VSC
07/07/10 - Interview Date - APPROVED!
10/28/10 - POE @ Chicago
11/21/10 - Marriage

AOS, AP, EAD.
01/18/11 - AOS, AP, EAD packet sent
03/07/2011 - Biometrics appointment
03/29/2011 - AOS, AP and EAD approved (After 2.5 months)
04/04/2011 - Green card in hand[/size]

ROC
02/12/2013 - ROC packet sent
02/21/2013 - NOA1 Received
03/09/2013 - Biometrics appointment
06/19/2013 - ROC APPROVED!

N-400 Naturalization

06/20/2014 - N-400 Packet sent

07/15/2014 - Check Cashedarrow-10x10.png

08/04/2014 - Biometrics

02/19/2015 - Interview

03/26/2015 - Oath Ceremony
event.png



event.png

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I completely agree with your observations and see it myself but in my opinion it's not as bad as you might think. The fear is from ignorance alone I believe.

The fact that they don't think they're being disrespectful just helps to justify that ignorance.

Also, the whole country has an obsession with white skin as you probably know from the countless billboards and cosmetics promising to turn your skin white.

Filipinas also want long noses, big round eyes...all the things they don't have, or what can set them apart from so many others that look just like them.

Unfortunately you have to take it in stride, but no everyone is ignorant. Just look at your own wife. You're a lucky man.

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I'm a black American also(ooohahhhhhwhoa!)LOL...and yes this attitude exist. So what can you do about it??? Just be yourself which is obviously the opposite of a lot of bad stereotypes held by not only some Filipino women but by most people in the world and even within the black community for that matter (the whole "White is Right" thing). By now you should know this well! At any rate when your fiance, soon to be wife, is going on and on about how great her hubby is people will take notice for sure and all the naysayers will be humming a different tune :whistle:

If it matters at all I was once engaged to a Filipino man (obviously not my husband now LOL) and I went through the same thing about how black women are this and that. We eventually broke up for totally different reasons but once we broke it off his family and friends who had judged me before were the same people calling and begging me to get back with him because they knew he had it good.

Long story short..people have and will continue to judge you simply based on your race and nationality. Prove them wrong


Chatted for the first time:2010-01-11

Officially Dating:2010-05-31

Roja QUITS JOB and moves to GA:2010-09-17

Got hitched!:2010-11-10

Roja finds a new job:2011-12-22

Adjustment of Status

CIS Office :Atlanta GA

Date Filed :2011-03-07

NOA Date :2011-03-12

Bio. Appt. :2011-04-13

EAD Received:2011-05-12

Interview Date :2011-06-28

Approved : APPROVED!!! Yes Lord...2 year GC

Greencard Received: In hand on July 11, 2011 Yippee!!

k3d9o4vw2.png

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Hi Thom! I feel bad that your fiancee (and you) get remarks/comments like these. I am sorry that you have to be treated this way. :( I can think of a few reasons why some Filipinos (not just Pinays) have these (mis)conceptions about Afrcian-American men.

One is the color, we've been brainwashed since Spanish times that whiter/lighter skin is better in everything. That's why most Filipinas (and their kins) are not open (or they are discouraged by their relatives) to date much more marry anyone who has a darker shade than our own skin.

Two is the media. I rarely see/watch movie/tv shows with African-American men being portrayed in a decent way. They're most of the time poorly misrepresented. They are either goons, gang members, bodyguards (with big muscles), drug addicts or sex maniacs. Sorry for the descriptions. But those are perhaps some of the characters Filipinos associate to African-American. I know it's not fair.

Third is ignorance. In my small town in the province, we've never once seen an African-American when we were growing-up. But we always saw and interact with white missionaries either LDS or other religions. Again our main source of information about African-American men is the media, so whatever we've seen on tv that's what we know about a certain group of people like African-Americans. I doubt if anyone in the province know Barack Obama, but ask them who Will Smith or Morgan Freeman is or any of their movies and I bet yah they know them. :)

I know it is difficult, but try NOT to take everything you or your fiancee hear personally. It won't do you good. I am engaged to a Caucasian and I still hear nasty remarks about us. :(

Also try to educate your fiancee's family (then they will be the one who will educate others who African-Americans are) and show to them that you are nothing close to what the media or other people say/think you are.

I love all of my fiance's friends, but I adore one in particular and she is an old African-American lady named Marienne. She's soooo sweet. Except for my fiance's parents' she's the only person that sent me a card on my birthday. :)


TIMELINE:

Feb 01, 2011 - Sent I-129F to Texas Lockbox

Feb 07, 2011 - I-129F Received

Feb 19, 2011 - NOA1 (Mail)

May 13, 2011 - NOA2 (e-mail notice)

May 17, 2011 - NOA 2 (Mail)

May 28, 2011 - Got case number after 2 weeks of waiting

May 30-31, 2011 - 2-day Medical at SLMEC (without the NVC letter, just the MCN)

July 01, 2011 - Interview (APPROVED despite delayed documents!)

July 14, 2011 - Picked up visa from 2Go Main

July 15, 2011 - Bought one-way ticket for first time immigrant (rate)

July 18, 2011 - CFO at SMEF-COW

July 31, 2011 - Flight to the US! (Finally!)

My blogsite: www.neighborlj.blogspot.com

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I think everyone has brought up good posts and this perception does not surprise me. I too am AA and have experienced these perceptions from many. Even in America, this perception still very much exists about AA's. I think it's good to continue moving forward, for it is what it is and it is likely that these preconceived notions exist and will continue. It is great people are able to dialogue about these things and I feel that this is part of the reason why racism and prejudice still is so prevalent in the US and across the globe. People are scared to talk to each other and express their thoughts openly to one another. Instead, people let hearsay, gossip and the media/news provide an idea of how people really are....

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I am married to black for 2 years now and no regret. He's the nicest guy on earth. He's NOT old, :lol: he has a decent and stable job in IRS and I've never been scared of him cos there's no reason to be scared of even when we met 4 years ago. Never mind those people. They're just jealous, I'm sure deep inside of them, they wish they also have someone like you. :yes:


September 2007-- Met Online (FilipinaHeart.com)
March 12,2009-- Married at Quezon City Hall of Justice
USCIS/NVC STAGE
May 8,2009-- I-130 Sent
August 17,2009-- I-130 Approved
August 26, 2009--case received at NVC
November 5,2009--CASE COMPLETED
USEM MANILA STAGE/ U.S. SOIL
November 17-18,2009--Medical PASSED
December 10, 2009--Interview @ 8:30AM A-P-P-R-O-V-E-D
January 25, 2010--FLIGHT(Manila-Japan-Detroit,MI-Buffalo,NY)
February 22,2010-- 2-yr GREEN CARD received
February 26, 2010--SSN received
REMOVING of CONDITIONS
December 22, 2011-- I-751 mailed
February 28, 2012-- Biometrics done

October 10, 2012-- 10-yr GREEN CARD received
NATURALIZATION
January 09, 2013-- sent N-400
January 28, 2013-- Biometrics

May 22, 2013-- Interview Passed- Officially a US Citizen!

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I do apologized of how shallow thinking are some of my fellow people regarding colors and relationships. But i guess no matter how people say bad things about guys/people with dark skin or say black people..criticism and discouragement are all and should depends on your fiancee on how she sees things and how she takes them. It always should come down to how she feels about the relationship, on how she feels about you,regardless of skin color, no matter how people somehow mocks her decision to be in that relationship. It all depends on her.... :thumbs:

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Hi good people thnaks for many of your responses to this discussion. I really appreciate all the responses I guess it bothered me a bit due to the sheer boldness of these ladies. Like its 2011 technology has become a big part of the Philippines and these two ladies been living under a rock while time passed them by, just funny is all.


THOM AND KIM's JOURNEY

Aug 31, 2010 - I-129F package sent to VSC

Sept 2, 2010 - NOA-1 hard copy received

Sept 5, 2010 - Check cashed

Nov 29, 2010 - Case Touched

Feb 25, 2011 - Contacted Senator

Feb 28, 2011 - NOA2 APPROVED **179 Days since NOA1 Received**

Mar 7, 2011 - NOA2 Hard Copy arrived

NVC

NVC receieved petition - Mar 7 2011

NVC case number received - Mar 8 2011 MNL2011XXXXXX

NVC case shipped to Embassy - Mar 9 2011

US Embassy Manila

Package delivered DHL - Mar 14 2011 signed by Leonilo

USEM - Medical- Passed Medical Mar 18 2011

USEM- Interview - APPROVED 4-14

USEM- VISA IN HAND - 4-30-2011

CFO - 5-2-2011

Kim on the plane 5-18-2011 Welcome to USA!

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i am sorry about that but a lot of Filipinos are racists without realizing it. our culture calls Blacks, Indians, Chinese with racial slurs and blatantly uses such terms in the guise of TV Comedy. then we call foul if we hear any negative remarks against Filipinos. sad really. this is just one of many bad traits in our culture i wish to banish -- along with homophobia, too much family codependency, corruption, etc.


event.png

Visa

=======================================
02.11.2011 ~ sent K1 visa application
02.16.2011 ~ NOA1
03.21.2011 ~ NOA2
04.13.2011 ~ Packet 3 received
05.16.2011 ~ Interview (approved)
05.21.2011 ~ visa received

AOS
=======================================
10.13.2011 ~ sent AOS application
10.21.2011 ~ NOA
11.14.2011 ~ biometrics appointment (AOS & EAD)
01.06.2012 ~ received EAD/AP combo card (has expiration date error)
04.27.2012 ~ GC production

ROC

=======================================

02.26.2014 ~ sent ROC application

03.06.2014 ~ NOA (USCIS CSC)

03.27.2014 ~ biometrics appointment

06.20.2014 ~ GC production

N-400

=======================================

02.03.2015 ~ sent N-400 application

02.10.2015 ~ NOA

03.27.2015 ~ In Line notification

03.30.2015 ~ Interview text notification

05.04.2015 ~ Interview: APPROVED!

05.15.2015 ~ 'MURICAN!

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Hello to all the Philippine VJer's -

Well I am back again with possibly another controversial topic but this time it kinda hit closer to home rather than the randomness of a piqued interest topic. Anyway before I dive right in a little background about me. Well I am a Black American (ooohahhhhhwhoa!) Yes it is true, I am also educated (wow really!) yea heard that one too LOL, own my home (yea Black people can own things these days) have a decent career (no its not in pharmaceutical entrepreneurship) :no: I am not privileged yet to own a bass fishing boat like my buddy Tallcoolone (jealous). I have traveled all over the world and have been blessed with a decent life with little to complain about. I have been to Philippines several times now and found it to be a home away from home. I have always been treated with open respect and in some parts like a rock star but a few episodes ago my fiance shared something interesting with me one of her friends said to her...

This other woman who I will not name asked my fiance "Aren't you afraid of black guys" :wow: so I was inclined to contact this lady to entertain her reasoning, but I let it go. Then just last week while my fiance was at the Embassy for her interview another lady of filipino roots said to my fiance "I am afraid of black guys they have big builds" WTH!...wait there is more, so my fiance is part of this Pretty ladies (VJ) group on FB and some member decided to share that black guys in America beat and mistreat their pinay wive...I mean really now.

It is so funny how these women feel as if they were not being disrespectful in any way to my fiance and other women of filipino roots who have healthy relationships with men other than white. So my question to any of you who feel inclined to comment, what is the problem? So is my color that big of an issue to filipino's and why would these few ladies being so vain to think its not rude and disrespectful to pose those questions?

I understand that men of color are underrepresented in Philippines and in terms of dating and potential love interest Brad Pit is the image of choice there BUT I could have fired back and asked this one lady why are you going across the world to marry a man that has been divorced 3 times 2 with pinay and what makes you think you are the one that changes it all for him. Or is it because I am not 55+ and grandfather looking with a healthy pension makes me less desirable? In other words 99.9% of women from the Philippines should be with Older white gents and those who found anything opposite should go slit their risks.

Late

Its a direct indication that these people are ignorant. I met black people from my previous work and they are highly educated (with masters and PhD from respected school in America), very respectful and down to earth people. It is unfortunate that you meet these type of people that judge according to the color of skin.

Regarding your comment of filipinas marrying white guys..Here is a tidbit about the Philippines. Other filipina might shoot me on those but they can fire away...

Filipinos prefer white/fair skin. Majority of filipinos prefer to have fair/white skin. If you want to verify this statement, ask your fiancee teh number of commercial in TV selling whitening products (i.e. soap, skin toner, tablet, spa whitenin procedure.. the list goes on). This kind of attitude goes back as far back as the spanish era. The Maria Clara as described by Jose Rizal in his book Noli Me Tangere with her demure attitude has "fair skin". And the elite of the Philippines are majority mestiza with fair skin. On the other hand, the poor or the obrero in the philippines are dark skinned for working so much under the sun. So between a black guy and white guy... majority prefer white guys.

The only thing that matters is that your fiancee loves you. :-)


K1 Process:

May 1, 2008 Submitted I-129F to CSC

May 8, 2008 Received by CSC

May 9, 2008 NOA1

May 18, 2008 Touched

October 9, 2008 RFE

October 28, 2008 RFE Reply

October 29, 2008 Touched

October 30, 2008 Touched

November 1, 2008 NOA2 (HardCopy)

November 11, 2008 Letter from NVC (Hardcopy)

November 14 & 17, 2008 Medical (Passed)

November 26, 2008 Interview (Passed)

December 5, 2008 Visa Received

December 23, 2008 US Entry (POE: Hawaii)

February 7, 2009 Private Wedding

AOS Process:

March 9, 2009 Mailed AOS Application via Express Mail (I-485, I-765, I-131)

March 10, 2009 USPS confirmed that AOS application was delivered and received in Chicago

March 18, 2009 Received NOA for AOS, EAD and AP

April 8, 2009 Biometrics Done

April 27, 2009 AP Approved

May 1, 2009 AP received in the mail

May 2, 2009 EAD card received in the mail

May 29, 2009 AOS interview (Approved)

June 29, 2009 GC received

ROC Process

March 1, 2011 Mailed I-175 Application via Express Mail

March 4 ,2011 NOA for I-175

April 05,2011 Biometrics [Early Biometrics March 22, 2011]

April 21,2011 Approval

April 27,2011 10 Year Green Card Received

Naturalization Process

March 6, 2012 Mailed N-400 Application via Express Mail

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