I-751 Interview and wife wants divorce advise please

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

I need some advice from you guys, here is my situation as of now. My wife and I separated after we filed I-751 which is about beginning march. She was having depression problems( she has a historical depression issues in the past) and she has been seen marriage therapist( but she refused to go Psychiatrist and yelling and screaming at me because I suggest that) alone for the last 3 months ( No she didn't want me go with her). In regards to our relationship yes we had problems in our marriage but everything changed since they asked for a I-751 Interview. We talked to an immigration lawyer last week about upcoming Interview on 04/19/11. She was somewhat felt better about the interview after the lawyer gave us some advice to go interview together, and tell them that we are still married and together but have some issues just like anyone else. my wife and I agreed that we will go to the interview and tell them we some issues but we are still together.I really love my wife so much I don't want to lose her, but she was being abusive to me in the past three months such as; throwing chairs at me in the house( because I discovered by digging her cell that she was talking and seeing her ex-boyfriend) she was so mad that I was digging out her cell phone messages. She promised and promised that she wont see or talk to him again, but she still talks to him I know for a fact. we have received couple of complaints in letter from our apartment board that they hear so much fighting noise in the apartment I swear to GOD it was her yelling and screaming at me in the middle of a night. In addition, I am under asthma medication that I discovered about a year ago because of her two cats. I didn't even know that I was allergic to cats till I had asthma attack one night I thought I was dying went to emergency in the morning. No she refused to get rid off them since she had them as kittens. So I started taking allergic, and asthma inhalers regularly for the last year, because I really love my wife and hoped that she will get rid off them eventually before I end up death in the house. But it didn't happen. We met today and talk what we are going to do for the interview, she dropped the bomb on me and said that she went to see a different immigration lawyer this morning, and will tell them that she wants to get a divorce. Lawyer told her that I still can filed on my own after the divorce finalize. Yes she will come the interview with me on Tuesday and tell them we married for love but it is not working out and she wants a divorce. I am in really bad emotional stage right now I don't know what to do, no matter what I told her, she said she doesn't love me anymore and wants out of this marriage.

Now the questions

Do I need a lawyer on Tuesday with us?

What is going to happen when she will them she wants to get divorce? (But I really love her)

What are my options in this situation?

What is the process that I need to follow?

Yes, we have very thick bona-fide marriage evidence that I sent with I-751

such as;

***Joint tax returns for 2008,2009,2010

***Joint Bank account with line of credit

***Joint renter insurance for the condo since we got married

***Joint car insurance since we got married

***Joint rent lease agreement

***Joint Utility bills such as; Internet, Cable

***My 401k showing her as a beneficiary

***My life insurance, emergency contact showing her as a beneficiary

***Various pictures in the past 3 years including vacation pictures in Turkey with my relatives, and plane tickets, itineraries we went to vacation ***last summer to Turkey for 3 weeks to meet my family back home.

*** Affidavit letters from 2 friends

*** We were looking to buy a house and our Realtor agent created an account jointly our names on the account(web-based homes for sale)

[kissjo 2]

I need some advice from you guys, here is my situation as of now. My wife and I separated after we filed I-751 which is about beginning march. She was having depression problems( she has a historical depression issues in the past) and she has been seen marriage therapist( but she refused to go Psychiatrist and yelling and screaming at me because I suggest that) alone for the last 3 months ( No she didn't want me go with her). In regards to our relationship yes we had problems in our marriage but everything changed since they asked for a I-751 Interview. We talked to an immigration lawyer last week about upcoming Interview on 04/19/11. She was somewhat felt better about the interview after the lawyer gave us some advice to go interview together, and tell them that we are still married and together but have some issues just like anyone else. my wife and I agreed that we will go to the interview and tell them we some issues but we are still together.I really love my wife so much I don't want to lose her, but she was being abusive to me in the past three months such as; throwing chairs at me in the house( because I discovered by digging her cell that she was talking and seeing her ex-boyfriend) she was so mad that I was digging out her cell phone messages. She promised and promised that she wont see or talk to him again, but she still talks to him I know for a fact. we have received couple of complaints in letter from our apartment board that they hear so much fighting noise in the apartment I swear to GOD it was her yelling and screaming at me in the middle of a night. In addition, I am under asthma medication that I discovered about a year ago because of her two cats. I didn't even know that I was allergic to cats till I had asthma attack one night I thought I was dying went to emergency in the morning. No she refused to get rid off them since she had them as kittens. So I started taking allergic, and asthma inhalers regularly for the last year, because I really love my wife and hoped that she will get rid off them eventually before I end up death in the house. But it didn't happen. We met today and talk what we are going to do for the interview, she dropped the bomb on me and said that she went to see a different immigration lawyer this morning, and will tell them that she wants to get a divorce. Lawyer told her that I still can filed on my own after the divorce finalize. Yes she will come the interview with me on Tuesday and tell them we married for love but it is not working out and she wants a divorce. I am in really bad emotional stage right now I don't know what to do, no matter what I told her, she said she doesn't love me anymore and wants out of this marriage.

Now the questions

Do I need a lawyer on Tuesday with us?

What is going to happen when she will them she wants to get divorce? (But I really love her)

What are my options in this situation?

What is the process that I need to follow?

Yes, we have very thick bona-fide marriage evidence that I sent with I-751

such as;

***Joint tax returns for 2008,2009,2010

***Joint Bank account with line of credit

***Joint renter insurance for the condo since we got married

***Joint car insurance since we got married

***Joint rent lease agreement

***Joint Utility bills such as; Internet, Cable

***My 401k showing her as a beneficiary

***My life insurance, emergency contact showing her as a beneficiary

***Various pictures in the past 3 years including vacation pictures in Turkey with my relatives, and plane tickets, itineraries we went to vacation ***last summer to Turkey for 3 weeks to meet my family back home.

*** Affidavit letters from 2 friends

*** We were looking to buy a house and our Realtor agent created an account jointly our names on the account(web-based homes for sale)

Hi,

reading ur post makes me sad. You are really in love with somebody who doesn't love you, is abusive, cheating and does not respect you, doesn't care at all for you etc.. but you still want to help her.Good.

Just follow the advise of HER lawyer. Do what they say. You don't have to kill your self for her. If you really love her and want her ot have her paper, just do what SHE says, like you always do. She will get her papers, with or without you.

Please, in the meantime, don't hurt yourself, you truly deserve better.

Best,

[TBoneTX 45,001]

It sounds as though the OP (the husband) is the beneficiary. This was not clear until toward the end of the opening paragraph.

OP, truly sorry to hear of your troubles, but from what you say, you may be better off if you split from your wife. There are many threads in the "Removing Conditions" and "Effects" forums (some threads may be pinned) that you can read for answers to your questions. Your evidence sounds excellent in terms of amount and quality. Others will come along to tell you more specifics, but in general, honesty in the immigration process is the best policy.

[MsZ 6]

I need some advice from you guys, here is my situation as of now. My wife and I separated after we filed I-751 which is about beginning march. She was having depression problems( she has a historical depression issues in the past) and she has been seen marriage therapist( but she refused to go Psychiatrist and yelling and screaming at me because I suggest that) alone for the last 3 months ( No she didn't want me go with her). In regards to our relationship yes we had problems in our marriage but everything changed since they asked for a I-751 Interview. We talked to an immigration lawyer last week about upcoming Interview on 04/19/11. She was somewhat felt better about the interview after the lawyer gave us some advice to go interview together, and tell them that we are still married and together but have some issues just like anyone else. my wife and I agreed that we will go to the interview and tell them we some issues but we are still together.I really love my wife so much I don't want to lose her, but she was being abusive to me in the past three months such as; throwing chairs at me in the house( because I discovered by digging her cell that she was talking and seeing her ex-boyfriend) she was so mad that I was digging out her cell phone messages. She promised and promised that she wont see or talk to him again, but she still talks to him I know for a fact. we have received couple of complaints in letter from our apartment board that they hear so much fighting noise in the apartment I swear to GOD it was her yelling and screaming at me in the middle of a night. In addition, I am under asthma medication that I discovered about a year ago because of her two cats. I didn't even know that I was allergic to cats till I had asthma attack one night I thought I was dying went to emergency in the morning. No she refused to get rid off them since she had them as kittens. So I started taking allergic, and asthma inhalers regularly for the last year, because I really love my wife and hoped that she will get rid off them eventually before I end up death in the house. But it didn't happen. We met today and talk what we are going to do for the interview, she dropped the bomb on me and said that she went to see a different immigration lawyer this morning, and will tell them that she wants to get a divorce. Lawyer told her that I still can filed on my own after the divorce finalize. Yes she will come the interview with me on Tuesday and tell them we married for love but it is not working out and she wants a divorce. I am in really bad emotional stage right now I don't know what to do, no matter what I told her, she said she doesn't love me anymore and wants out of this marriage.

Now the questions

Do I need a lawyer on Tuesday with us?

What is going to happen when she will them she wants to get divorce? (But I really love her)

What are my options in this situation?

What is the process that I need to follow?

Yes, we have very thick bona-fide marriage evidence that I sent with I-751

such as;

***Joint tax returns for 2008,2009,2010

***Joint Bank account with line of credit

***Joint renter insurance for the condo since we got married

***Joint car insurance since we got married

***Joint rent lease agreement

***Joint Utility bills such as; Internet, Cable

***My 401k showing her as a beneficiary

***My life insurance, emergency contact showing her as a beneficiary

***Various pictures in the past 3 years including vacation pictures in Turkey with my relatives, and plane tickets, itineraries we went to vacation ***last summer to Turkey for 3 weeks to meet my family back home.

*** Affidavit letters from 2 friends

*** We were looking to buy a house and our Realtor agent created an account jointly our names on the account(web-based homes for sale)

I hate to say it, but you need some evidence of the behavior your wife is exhibiting toward you. The compaint from the landlord is good. Are there any other witnesses to what you've described? I really think you should consider calling the police next time and getting an order or protection from her. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I wish she'd address the real reasons behind her issues rather than finding "comfort" in an ex-BF. You moved your world to be with her. You are her husband.

I wish I had more immigration help for you. But do get that evidence.

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

Hi,

reading ur post makes me sad. You are really in love with somebody who doesn't love you, is abusive, cheating and does not respect you, doesn't care at all for you etc.. but you still want to help her.Good.

Just follow the advise of HER lawyer. Do what they say. You don't have to kill your self for her. If you really love her and want her ot have her paper, just do what SHE says, like you always do. She will get her papers, with or without you.

Please, in the meantime, don't hurt yourself, you truly deserve better.

Best,

Thanks for your advice, As of now I moved to my mom's house. They wanted to talk to her also, but she is not listening to anybody. I married her because I love her. And she really needs help not a freaking marriage therapist, definitely a psychiatrist. What is the interview officer going to the with me, Am I gonna be decline? or Given a extension so we can get a divorce?

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

My lawyer told me the same why I didn't call the police? She has psychological issue and I love her, I am there for her in the sickness or happiness. By calling the police and all that problem would not do any good for both of us. God help me on tuesday I dont know what is going to happen. A

Are they going to put me in removal process? or give me an extension so we can divorce?

[elikhom 7]

Wow, your case is so similar to mine that it's weird.

*My wife also started yelling and screaming at me for no real reason. I mean, I still remember when I bought a $40 fan because it was hot, next thing I know I'm hearing "a$$hole, I'm going to divorce you, etc, etc". And I have a very good job so money was not really an issue here.

*She's also in medication, and I feel her depression is a big player in her mood swings.

*I also found that she was texting another guy and she promised she wouldn't do it again, but she lied. I now know she doesn't talk to him anymore, but I think it's because the guy realized ahe has too many issues and bailed out.

*She left me and I cried like a fricking baby even though deep inside I know she's not good for me. I just love her so much.

*She moved out after we filed for I-751. So I had to contact a lawyer and adjust my I-751.

*And yes, she told me she didnt love me anymore several times, but after a while she tells me she loves me a lot, and that there's no one else but me in her life.

*We still see each other at least 3 times a week, and sleep together. Weird I know.

I think your wife is cracking under pressure, I don't know if it's a good idea to bring her to the interview. Can she just wait outside and call her if it's really needed? Or is she in good terms with you right now to discuss what to say and what not to say during the interview with you? I would like a lawyer if the guy/girl is sharp, there are so many dumbasses out there with a law degree that I'd have to hand pick the guy throughly.

Some words of encouragment, after all this is done and you get your GC, you'll see everything becomes much more friendlier with her. You just need to be the guy who soothes and calms her instead of bringing problems, ok. Don't call her and cry in the phone. Give her space (even though it's going to burn you inside, I wanted to run every night and go to ther place). Also, even tough right now you must be an emotional wreck, you have to take care of your job, for your own good and also no women likes losers without jobs, lol, sorry had to bring that up. And dress well every time you see her, and be funny, remind her what she's missing and how it was when she met you.

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

Yes your story is very similar to mine, but this is just came up 2 days ago, we already filed I-751 In february. now we have go to interview on tuesday. I dont know what is going to happen. And yes we talked about what we re going to say, She will say that we married for love but things are not working after we filed I-751.

[Otto 83]

** Two (duplicate/parallel) topics merged.

[MsZ 6]

I understand why you would not want to call the police on her, but you have to think about your immigration status first. If you get booted out of the country, your chances of reconciliation with her are going to be close to zero. You need to be in the US in order for anything to resolve itself in your marriage.

Further, she has to understand, sickness/health, whatever, there are consequences for behavior. If she hits, etc. she is breaking the law, in ADDITION to failing to love, honor and cherish her husband.

Good luck tomorrow. I don't know what will happen. Just tell them the truth. I hope it works out for you.

[MsZ 6]

How'd it go, Mehmet?

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

My interview yesterday, in Chicago

My wife and I discussed what we are going to say about our situation. and decided to tell them the truth that its not working etc..

So we arrive separated at the USCIS, we did not talk much in the waiting area, and waited about 20 mins to be called, finally African American lady called us, and showed her office. Before we sat down, we swear on oath, she started asking the questions for, what is your social. What is your date of birth? What is home phone number, (I said we do not have a home phone only cell phone and gave her my number). She asked where is my current address and I gave her our apartments address, I still had hopes even at the interview maybe my wife would change her mind and say we have problems but we love each other so we trying to get back together. She asked me what I do for a living. Did I finish my school? she started asking if I was ever arrested, deported, or any charges was filed against me I said no( these are the questions they asked at the interview as we all know)She turned and start asking the questions to her, what she doing for a living,( she is a teacher so they talked about kids and Chicago Public Schools). She asked her social, her birthday her phone number. Finally, she asked are you people still married, she said “Yes.” Are you still residing with your husband? She said “NO. We have been separated for the last three weeks trying to work things out but as of this weekend, we decided to get a divorce.” , interview officer's face changed a little bit in a shocked way, my wife started talking about why is not working such as, she said. “We have financial issues,” (I was laid of 4 months she end up paying the bills). She said, “We have cultural differences we don’t understand each other.” And, she said, “We have been fighting and arguing a lot recently that he always surprises me by not telling what is he doing.” Now I said in respond to this to the officer. “She is talking about our internet and plane tickets that I bought from our joint account without telling her. One day I came home and internet was cut off because of unpaid balance so I paid that night and they have to give me new account number old one was under her name she yelled and screamed at that I was trying to do things behind her back. ” Now the interviewer officer asked my wife, “Have you guys seen a counselor to work this marriage?” My wife said, “YES, we only went to marriage counselor once last year.”(Yes we went last year because she is been depression for a long time thinking it is me depressing her, rather than the real issue is that her mind.) I said in respond to this, “Yes we went only once and after that she did not want me to go with her.” Officer asked, “Why did not you go with your husband.” wife said, “It is an individual counselor not couples counselor, he can go himself.” At this moment, I became so emotional and start crying, I said to wife “Honey this is the moment there is no turning back after this.” Wife said, “No I don’t want it I want to get a divorce.” Officer asked my wife, “Don’t you think you can work this out because I can tell he loves you.” Wife said “NO” . And there was more sad and upset, and I start talking about the fighting how she has been hitting me like mad woman, and throwing chairs at me, even punching me out of the bed because she was mad at me. And I said I can’t handle anymore fighting, and beating.( Trust me guys I am not gay if I want to hit her back, I could many more things, I am just not violent person to a woman especially the one I love). Moreover, I told her we had two complaint letters from the apartment board about fighting noises at night. Right after I finish telling the officer these stories she turned back to wife and asked her in angry tone of voice, “ Mam are you abusing him?” before she answered the question I jumped and said “No she was not abusive we just had fights and she was very mad at me she was not abusive.” (I did not want to get her in trouble or be more pissed at me.) She answered “No I was not abusive we were just fighting a lot.” And I started asking the officer what kind of a trouble I am in and what is the process now. I asked “do I need to re-file I-751 again?” .Am I going to be deported or lose my job now? And I said I have biometrics appointment on April 22nd do I still need to go for” at this moment she looked at her computer and typed some stuff and said “Yes you still need to go for biometrics. She said” I thought you were done for fingerprints” She said, “No you are not in trouble, the process will take about a year before you can appear in the front of immigration judge, where he/she will look at your documents while living together and will decide if you guys were entered into marriage truly. You can still travel while this is pending all you need is go downstairs and get a stamp on your passport. And I will talk to my supervisor about this case and we will look at your documents to see if you guys were entered in bona-fide marriage, and I will get back to you in the mail.” And she asked my wife “where do you live now? At your apartment?” wife said “Yes” the officer said I need to contact your landlord to confirm you live there.and she said “ I saw in your evidences documents your landlord sent you an email in regarding about the lease that you too were in month-to-month lease and wanted have new lease” I answered “ Yes mam, we did not want to get into new agreement because we were in process of buying a house and there is also copy of our realtors name and address it is web based account that she give us a password to search houses. Account information showing both names as searching for houses for us” .I was still sad and crying turned my face back to her and said “ Mam “what is the point for all of these in the end we are getting divorce she says she hates me what is the point of me staying here anymore.” She said “if I wanted to give up my condition I can do so by filling out some forms”

By what my wife and see and determined based on what she said after we left the building and talked for an hour, I think the officer will approve me or send me letter saying that I have court date or re-file I-751.

So this is what happened, at the interview, now what might happen in this case any comments?

[TBoneTX 45,001]

My interview yesterday, in Chicago [snip]

Wow. Your details will be incredibly helpful to others who are in a similar situation.

Very little in the immigration process is 100% certain, but the sense that I get from your story is that your ROC will ultimately be approved, perhaps on the basis of a bona fide marriage that later broke down. Wait to see what the letter from the interviewer says, after she has spoken with her supervisor. Meanwhile, keep the faith.

[TracyTN 237]

You sound torn about whether or not you want it to be approved or if you'd rather return home. I'm not sure that helped matters any, but at any rate - I hope the outcome is what you want it to be.

[Mehmet.Turkey 0]

I completed my biometrics today, and I talked to my attorney and told him our story what happened at the interview. According to him, it is very good that my wife came to interview with me. Also, he said I have a big chance of getting approved without have to refile I-751 again, because we were still married and the officer could tell by our story that we were really married but it is not working anymore. He said wait for 30 days what they are going to send you in the mail and call me after that.