I feel like crying. Guh.

[Kirsten L 0]

I know exactly how you feel Kirsten! I started my job August 1, and won't get paid till the end of September. And it will be less than one month of pay because I'm a teacher on a 12 month contract (work 9 months, but pay is spread out over 12)! And we all know too well the price of international air travel that has put an even bigger strain on our pocketbooks.

And let's not get started on the pain of waiting, which is still painful, regardless if it's been 1 day or 177! The anticipation of not knowing when the approval will come makes it hard for anyone, ESPECIALLY because people seemed to be approved in a random order.

I'm sure glad I know you, Sonicliz. We'll hang in there together.

Edited September 9, 2006 by Kirsten L

[Jenn! 918]

It is hard to describe how things change once you are finally together. Oh for sure, it's better to be together. But when you are separated, you tend to think that as a couple you are invincible - while it's true that two are always stronger than one, the regular everyday grind is hard on a marriage. When you throw in the curves of immigration, like the single example of waiting for work permits - well it's almost as if it's a system designed to try these marriages to the very edge of commitment.

I can tell you this. You may find it hard to believe, but this separation you are experiencing now is part of the very glue that will hold you together later on. When you've been married a while, and he's left dirty socks on the floor, sugar on the counters, or done some other thing to just drive you mad - try to remember what it was like to live without his presence in your life. It helps put things in perspective. It'll still your tongue - at least enough so you don't wring his neck! And over time, it will be part of your story. Part of what you will tell your friends, your children, and your grandchildren.

I just now read this excellent post. Thanks for putting into words some of the things that I hadn't even realized I was experiencing until just now.

I wish you all speedy approvals so that you can get on with facing the upcoming challenges that lie ahead, together.

[gugu24 0]

Sure Kristen we can have a yard sale! lol though the only thing i might have to sell IS the yard! wish i could ship everything i have here for free and make a killing off it back home but that wont be happening. though by now im sure everything i left back home before is clutter to me now so those things can go(though i might have to give it away for free just for anyone to take it) oh well there's always the option of opening a lemon aid stand lolol.

[spiritee 0]

Exactly, as mentioned in one of my previous posts everyone has hard times and problems in life, people just choose to deal with it differently. You either look at the glass half empty or half full.

If you read my initial posts I was actually trying to point out to be patient and positive about the process because that is what it is a process and there are months of it to come and no amount of complaining is going to change that and it just eats at you instead.

My first post was : “Don't be jealous, not everyone at VSC gets a speedy approval to presume this is ridiculous. My petition was received by VSC in June and I still have not been approved. I am not jealous I have realised that there is nothing I can do to speed up the process but be patient.” I do not think there is anything unreasonable there yet Kirsten felt that I should not post on here and keep my comments to myself.. LOL quite ironic since this is a forum!

I thought the purpose of the message boards was about the whole K1 Visa journey not personal problems but I thought wrong, so when I read yet another personal sob story from Kirsten I felt to comment. Now I can sympathise with someone who has been waiting seven months for an approval as that is longer than the time the USIC said they will deliver, but after one month, I simply find it hard to swallow.

Anyone going through this process is the same by reading some of the self centred posts I can now see why some feel like they do.

I wish you all the best.

I totally agree. spiritee you sound like you are singleing out people to lash out at. Everyone has hard times, me included. we've had our gas turned off a couple times. and ate beans for weeks. lol i certianly dont consider myself worse off then others,noone here is saying they are. People here are just sharing their experiences, thoughts, fears,hardships ect... Kristen seems like a very nice person, as do you, but you are carrying a chip on your shoulder about her. Kristen i would love to have a yard sale lol i'd sell everything i own if it meant having the money it takes to finish this process. In Japan they dont have yards(unless you consider the plower pots placed in rows out front of the house a yard) lol infact when they get rid of things they usually buy a cetain sticker form the store and place on the item then call the people to come get it. when the truck comes they come to your door and collect the fee to take it away. the things they throw out so easily here you wouldnt believe! i could make a fortune selling it back home or on ebay lol. usually the foriegnors scavenge it up for their own place before the truck comes to get it. anyway back to the main point..... its ok to vent,rant,complain,cry, and all here but to personally attack anyone for it isnt nice. let's be a little more supportive. Christine your post was right on the money!

[gugu24 0]

well i see where maybe your first post might have been taken wrong. I see what you are saying. I do however,even though yes this is a k-1 forum, feel its ok for people to express themselves cause after all being that everyone here is going through the same process we've all become friends and offer support. sometimes offering support comes in the form of letting others know they are not alone in their hardships some more than others.even if it means telling others of our own. I realize some may get upset with others when they havnt had to wait as long. lol look at us, we've had to refile twice cause of a blunder(my fault) and the whole ordeal for us has so far taken just about 3 years. But even so I can still understand those who are anxious after waiting a short time. I think that comes from not knowing so much about the whole process and expecting it to be simple and fast. when we first applied we knew absolutley nothing about the process. thought it would be a piece of cake..no problem..in and out...well now looking back and after refiling for the second time we realize just how wrong we were. we did very little and some things the wrong way. we were very uneducated about it. I thought I'd have him home with me withina few months. so i think its just a learning process we all are learning. eventually we will all look back and think "daaaamn that was harder then i thought!"

[Caladan 19]

Ahhh yes, this must come up again.

It must mean I'm not worthy of being upset at the process.

Forgive me.

Cass (bebop the great)

Not that it matters, but bebop hadn't even met her fiance till a month after you filed, Rob.

I find that very hard to stomach when most of us have been struggling with immigration for many months/years.

*leans on a walking stick.... clump, clump

Girl, I have two sets of primary evidence older than your relationship. Pri-ma-ry! Back in my day we had to deliver our petitions by hand, uphill both ways in the snow, and there was none of this fancy P-D-F to fill it out for you! no sirree!

All of which means nothing, of course; you are entitled to a whining day just as much as anyone.

I'm having fun at the moment trying to explain patiently to relatives that I can't plan the wedding until I know more how long it's going to take. Crazy aunts.

I'm trying to look at it like this. My fiancé and I have been together for nearly three years now. What's changed? Nothing, except someone else has some paperwork; day to day hasn't changed at all. It's not like we wouldn't have been talking on the phone instead of being together anyway, so I'll just try to be patient and ignore the process until they need more info from me.

[no name 1]

Ahhh yes, this must come up again.

It must mean I'm not worthy of being upset at the process.

Forgive me.

Cass (bebop the great)

Not that it matters, but bebop hadn't even met her fiance till a month after you filed, Rob.

I find that very hard to stomach when most of us have been struggling with immigration for many months/years.

*leans on a walking stick.... clump, clump

Girl, I have two sets of primary evidence older than your relationship. Pri-ma-ry! Back in my day we had to deliver our petitions by hand, uphill both ways in the snow, and there was none of this fancy P-D-F to fill it out for you! no sirree!

All of which means nothing, of course; you are entitled to a whining day just as much as anyone.

I'm having fun at the moment trying to explain patiently to relatives that I can't plan the wedding until I know more how long it's going to take. Crazy aunts.

I'm trying to look at it like this. My fiancé and I have been together for nearly three years now. What's changed? Nothing, except someone else has some paperwork; day to day hasn't changed at all. It's not like we wouldn't have been talking on the phone instead of being together anyway, so I'll just try to be patient and ignore the process until they need more info from me.

Congrats for filing! Why'd you wait so long?

[spiritee 0]

I feel the same. My Fiance and I have been together for over 4 years now and are fortunate enough to see each other more than six times a year. That is why I can be patient and ignore the process because I know that we will eventually be married.

Good luck on your journey!

Ahhh yes, this must come up again.

It must mean I'm not worthy of being upset at the process.

Forgive me.

Cass (bebop the great)

Not that it matters, but bebop hadn't even met her fiance till a month after you filed, Rob.

I find that very hard to stomach when most of us have been struggling with immigration for many months/years.

*leans on a walking stick.... clump, clump

Girl, I have two sets of primary evidence older than your relationship. Pri-ma-ry! Back in my day we had to deliver our petitions by hand, uphill both ways in the snow, and there was none of this fancy P-D-F to fill it out for you! no sirree!

All of which means nothing, of course; you are entitled to a whining day just as much as anyone.

I'm having fun at the moment trying to explain patiently to relatives that I can't plan the wedding until I know more how long it's going to take. Crazy aunts.

I'm trying to look at it like this. My fiancé and I have been together for nearly three years now. What's changed? Nothing, except someone else has some paperwork; day to day hasn't changed at all. It's not like we wouldn't have been talking on the phone instead of being together anyway, so I'll just try to be patient and ignore the process until they need more info from me.

Edited September 9, 2006 by spiritee

[Caladan 19]

Congrats for filing! Why'd you wait so long?

'Cause we only got engaged on August 20th. Just wanted to be sure we were right for each other, I guess; we've been trying to treat our relationship as normal and not 'long-distance-must-rush-to-be-together.' Plus, we wanted to be in a good financial situation once he moved here, and he's taken a better paying job so he can squirrel away some cash over the next year so we don't have to eat rice & beans (I meet the poverty guidelines, but just barely.)

[spiritee 0]

Yes my Fiancee and I waited for the same things. We wanted to make sure that we were right for each other too it's not as if we see each other every day although we speak every day on the phone, it’s not like I would be going just around the corner its 4,000 miles away in a different Country it’s a big step to take, when these things are rushed and are not planned properly they have less chance of survival.

Also we have been saving so that we could pay for the Lawyer for this process and also to ensure that when I get there we are not struggling financially as that could add a strain to our early marriage and my adjustment.

Congrats for filing! Why'd you wait so long?

'Cause we only got engaged on August 20th. Just wanted to be sure we were right for each other, I guess; we've been trying to treat our relationship as normal and not 'long-distance-must-rush-to-be-together.' Plus, we wanted to be in a good financial situation once he moved here, and he's taken a better paying job so he can squirrel away some cash over the next year so we don't have to eat rice & beans (I meet the poverty guidelines, but just barely.)

Edited September 9, 2006 by spiritee