NJ Supreme Court: Occasionally slapping your child is not abuse

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In a 7-0 decision, the court found the state Division of Youth and Family Services lacked sufficient evidence to remove a teenager from her father and stepmother's home in 2008, and dropped the abuse and neglect judgment against her stepmother.

"The parental decisions made within this family unit may not have been exemplars of stellar parenting, but they did not rise to the level of Title Nine violations," wrote Justice Jaynee LaVecchia, referring to New Jersey's child abuse laws.

...

A DYFS worker also found the home was without heat and authorized an emergency removal.

The father told a DYFS representative that his wife had slapped his daughter once two years earlier, and that part of his daughter's earnings went to the cable bill. The couple said their central heating was broken, and they were using space heaters.

...

The Supreme Court found that an occasional slap, "although hardly admirable ... does not fit a common sense prohibition against 'excessive' corporal punishment." And classifying as abuse and neglect the requirement of a working-aged child to contribute to the family finances is "simply wide of the mark," LaVecchia wrote.

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"The court properly determined that the minor difficulties that occur within a family regarding disciplining a child, heating a home and the relationship with a grandparent fall far short of neglect or abuse of a child under New Jersey law," said spokesman [of the state Public Defender’s office] Tom Rosenthal in a statement.

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In its decision, the Supreme Court reprimanded DYFS.

"That DYFS did not make any offer of assistance to remedy the heating problem is troubling, particularly to the extent that the deficient central heating component of the home was used as a basis for removing (her)," LaVecchia wrote. "Most of the allegations were the product of the family's tight financial situation."

http://www.mycentraljersey.com/article/20110127/STATE/110127023/NJ+top+court++Slapping+teen+daughter+isn+t+abuse

[The_Dude 1,142]

Family Protective services are like the Gestappo. They carry on these nonsense crusades against people and there is virtually zero recourse. As to the decision that a few smacks not amounting to abuse, I agree. The line between discipline and abuse is not a fine line.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Family Protective services are like the Gestappo. They carry on these nonsense crusades against people and there is virtually zero recourse. As to the decision that a few smacks not amounting to abuse, I agree. The line between discipline and abuse is not a fine line.

Yep, although I don't think parents should resort to slapping their children on the cheek as a form of punishment.

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... I don't think parents should resort to slapping their children on the cheek as a form of punishment.

The NJ Supreme Court agrees that it is not an example of "stellar parenting" but it still falls well short of abuse.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The NJ Supreme Court agrees that it is not an example of "stellar parenting" but it still falls well short of abuse.

I agree.

[mawilson 2,133]

Yep, although I don't think parents should resort to slapping their children on the cheek as a form of punishment.

If there's no evidence (e.g. bruises), it's not abuse.

[Captain Oates 910]

My parents used to beat me senseless if I came downstairs when I should have been in bed.

I thought that 6.30pm was far to early for a 17 year old

I have titanium plates in my skull where the bone was powdered by their steel capped boots

It was only in later years that I came to realise it was all for my own good and I go to sleep instantly now when I get into bed

I do have trouble waking up and I eat 5 or 6 pillows a month, but all in all I think it was worth it and discipline is what made Houdini great. If his mother had not held him under water for 30 minutes at a time while she was on the phone, he would never have acquired the escapology skills that he did

My parents applied to be enhanced interrogators at Guantanamo Bay but were judged too soft and liberal because of their European background

Edited January 27, 2011 by Alan the Red

[Jenn! 918]

My parents used to beat me senseless if I came downstairs when I should have been in bed.

I thought that 6.30pm was far to early for a 17 year old

I have titanium plates in my skull where the bone was powdered by their steel capped boots

It was only in later years that I came to realise it was all for my own good and I go to sleep instantly now when I get into bed

I do have trouble waking up and I eat 5 or 6 pillows a month, but all in all I think it was worth it and discipline is what made Houdini great. If his mother had not held him under water for 30 minutes at a time while she was on the phone, he would never have acquired the escapology skills that he did

My parents applied to be enhanced interrogators at Guantanamo Bay but were judged too soft and liberal because if their European background

[sandinista! 1,816]

but this would be considered abuse if committed by an adult, against another adult family member, right? why is it less psychologically damaging to do this to a child or teenager? they certainly have far fewer coping mechanisms emotionally, when it comes to being hurt and having their trust and attachment violated by the most important people in their lives. as far as the nj supreme court is concerned, will this same standard now apply in cases of adult on adult slapping, if they're in an intimate relationship together?

Edited January 27, 2011 by sandinista!

[Captain Oates 910]

but this would be considered abuse if committed by an adult, against another adult family member, right? why is it less psychologically damaging to do this to a child or teenager? they certainly have far fewer coping mechanisms emotionally, when it comes to being hurt and having their trust and attachment violated by the most important people in their lives. as far as the nj supreme court is concerned, will this same standard now apply in cases of adult on adult slapping, if they're in an intimate relationship together?

I think adults can cope better. I have never hit a woman but I have been hit by several and I survived the experience with no damage to my self esteem apart from pushing it to another higher notch after comparing myself to them and their lack of self control and /or unfair hiding behind their gender

I suppose I provoked the first attack. I was 19 and a Police Officer in Leeds. We arrested a woman for knifing a Pakistani after he refused to pay her for services rendered. They put me in the back of the van with her and she asked where we were going. I looked at her and said' to the canal so we can throw you in'. It was the sort of thing a nineteen year old might say. Anway she believed me and fought for her life - she pasted me round all 6 walls of that van for 6 miles while the older officers looked back through the window and laughed. It was at that point that I realised the 'sugar and spice' did not describe all the female gender.

Later in life I attempted to end a relationship gently and even took her for a meal after. She came to my house at 2am and when I opened the door she punched me in the nose without saying a word and there was blood everywhere. She was an aerobics instructor and a mountain climber and had her own motor bike. She kicked her previous boyfriend in the back of the neck and put him in hospital for three months. Double footed flying drop kick. We men don't even report it - not manly you see.

As unwelcome as this was, an adult can see that the assaulter is in the wrong and not feel any the lesser.

A child mighty blame themselves and so that is the difference

[one...two...tree 2,762]

My parents used the frowny face to lay on the guilt. I still can't shake the guilt off, no matter how many times I wash my hands in a day.

[Jenn! 918]

As unwelcome as this was, an adult can see that the assaulter is in the wrong and not feel any the lesser.

I don't think this is always true.

[The_Dude 1,142]

My parents used the frowny face to lay on the guilt. I still can't shake the guilt off, no matter how many times I wash my hands in a day.

Ha ha steven, nice bit of fiction there. Too bad the last sentence there gave it away. Hippies don't wash, period.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ha ha steven, nice bit of fiction there. Too bad the last sentence there gave it away. Hippies don't wash, period.

A bit off topic, but I just got a smart phone...and it's an Android. So there goes your Apple fanboi theory out the window, HA! Right now, I'm giving you the smirky face, which is far worse than the frowny face. Now all I need to do is spray the phone with some patchouli.

[Captain Oates 910]

A bit off topic, but I just got a smart phone...and it's an Android. So there goes your Apple fanboi theory out the window, HA! Right now, I'm giving you the smirky face, which is far worse than the frowny face. Now all I need to do is spray the phone with some patchouli.

'patchouli' is a serbo-croat word meaning 'essence of raccoon ####### gland'

Don't walk into any mall fountains while using it and watch out for radiation danger to your bits and bobs. People don't care about brain damage but they do care about that.