FAMILY ACCEPTANCE

[oldahmed 38]

Im from egypt and i can tell u that it doesnt sound right , i bet u he is just acting like an angel who doesnt wanna live here till he marry u and then comes here and see U.S and all the young girls here and thats when reality will hit him and i will not be surprised if he divorces u or go back to egypt and marry 3 more ( since muslim can have 4 wifes at the same time ) sorry to be very blunt but u asked and thats my opnion as an egyption guy who lived in this culture, and the answer wont be any better if im an immgration officer the age different is a huge red flag your only way to prove things different is to marry him in egypt and live in egypt for few years to prove to urself and to the U.S embassy in cairo that he is serious about the marriage and he is not after u to get him out of egypt specially now with this revolution happening there. sorry again if i sounded hard but reality will be harder on u . good luck

How many wives do you have?

[marymina119 3]

im christian so i only have one thx god

plus who can handle more than one ??

[wendy&tamer 10]

I agree with this reply...

I was glad to see the original poster reply that she is not getting married on her first visit instead on her return visit if all goes well in July. However, I really hope you will take Wendy's advice and personally contact and talk with some of us on a one on one level. There are so many things you guys are going to be up against and have to deal with, not just the age difference. Please understand that I am not being negative or saying you shouldn't marry him, I truly feel and believe that my husband is my soul mate and we started in a similar manner meeting and becoming great friends online and he is 10 yrs younger. The difference is I went to visit him and meet his family 7 months after knowing him and returned 6 months later to marry him after which I stayed for 3 months and then later returned and lived with him for a year. I like others am a bit curious why it has taken 3 yrs to go meet him for the first time? Also are you prepared to stay for an extended stay with him after marrying him, especially since you say he will still have 2 yrs of school left. I am assuming he is choosing to stay and finish his 2 yrs of school in order to defer his service obligation?? I hope he has already dealt with this and maybe has been given an exemption from them, if not this is a whole other issue the two of you will have to face.

I also have to agree with many of the posters that while our MENA men are of a strong nature...they can be quite emotional especially when it comes to wanting their wives with them and by their side when they come home instead of 7000 miles away.. I really wish you the best and hope it is true love..Please feel free to contact me personally, I would love to talk to you more.

I talked to Tamer almost 3 years before I went to Egypt (for many reasons) but when I did, his family was great to me. Of course I had seen them online as well and they knew so much about me. I went and stayed for only 8 days then went back many months later and married him (10 days) and then took my kids (who talked to him everyday just like i did) for 2 weeks. His family is absolutely the most wonderful family I could ever hope for. Family acceptance to me is important. We have been married for almost 2 yrs and he knew when he met me that I couldnt have any more kids and he is totally fine with that. He is here and things are great but I can say every couple will have their moments. I wish you the best and just follow your heart. Go meet him and get to know his as much as you can and his family as well. I wish you the best and like ALY174 would love to talk to you. Please dont let some of these people here discourage you...you can only do what you want to do. Some times I think most of us want to protect others from being hurt or victims of fraud. But there are plenty of success stories to go along with the not-so-happy endings

Good luck and contact me any time.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Hey there....know it's been a LONG TIME since I've been on here, but just wanted to say....your little girl has the face of an angel!!! Mash'Allah!

Aww thank you. That's so sweet of you to say.

[wendy&tamer 10]

im christian so i only have one thx god

plus who can handle more than one ??

My husband is Muslim and from Egypt as well....but he agrees completely with you ONE WIFE IS ENOUGH :) Only the OP can make up her mind what this young man is about, we can only advise based on what we are told. Dont throw them both under the bus just yet....she didnt ask to get trampled, just some advice We all made choices to be with our spouses and many have travelled the difficult roads already. TO THE OP: keep your eyes wide open and observe everything for what it is and go with your true feelings. It is not always and easy road and you do have a choice of turning back or going forward. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.

Aww thank you. That's so sweet of you to say.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL....

[Angel Eyes Yuseef 5]

You was lucky the family knew about you the whole time. But the family does not even know about her at all. And that is a little weird to me too. Since most Egyptain men are proud of the women they choose, and everyone knows about them. But she is still a secret to his family as i have read in the post's. So this makes it a little different.

I talked to Tamer almost 3 years before I went to Egypt (for many reasons) but when I did, his family was great to me. Of course I had seen them online as well and they knew so much about me. I went and stayed for only 8 days then went back many months later and married him (10 days) and then took my kids (who talked to him everyday just like i did) for 2 weeks. His family is absolutely the most wonderful family I could ever hope for. Family acceptance to me is important. We have been married for almost 2 yrs and he knew when he met me that I couldnt have any more kids and he is totally fine with that. He is here and things are great but I can say every couple will have their moments. I wish you the best and just follow your heart. Go meet him and get to know his as much as you can and his family as well. I wish you the best and like ALY174 would love to talk to you. Please dont let some of these people here discourage you...you can only do what you want to do. Some times I think most of us want to protect others from being hurt or victims of fraud. But there are plenty of success stories to go along with the not-so-happy endings

Good luck and contact me any time.

[wendy&tamer 10]

This is why I said family acceptance is important to me and it is one thing I would start to ask questions about. I would want to know why over the course of 3 yrs they dont know the intentions of the couple. I do hope she meets them on this trip and hope they accept her. I was a little nervous meeting Tamer's family. I did fear they wouldnt accept me as a Christian but they quickly put that fear to rest. They love me for who I am and that is what I hope this family does. Dont judge someone who you might think they are....but who how they really are. We have been very blessed both sides of the family upon meeting all were really accepting. My family loves him and his family love me. How is her family accepting this relationship?

This is why I said family acceptance is important to me and it is one thing I would start to ask questions about. I would want to know why over the course of 3 yrs they dont know the intentions of the couple. I do hope she meets them on this trip and hope they accept her. I was a little nervous meeting Tamer's family. I did fear they wouldnt accept me as a Christian but they quickly put that fear to rest. They love me for who I am and that is what I hope this family does. Dont judge someone who you might think they are....but who how they really are. We have been very blessed both sides of the family upon meeting all were really accepting. My family loves him and his family love me. How is her family accepting this relationship?

His oldest sister was the first one to speak on my behalf to the rest of the family, as well and the youngest brother. They have been true allies.

[tru_loves_journey 117]

Oh My Goodness! I didn't see that he hasn't told his family about her, I missed that somewhere. That put's a whole new look on it now. In the 3 years I would think you would know all members of his family. Talking online, seeing them on the cam, phone calls. OP please get to know everyone and check into him more. Being someone's secret isn't a good feeling. I hope all goes well for you.

[Aly174 9]

My husband is Muslim and from Egypt as well....but he agrees completely with you ONE WIFE IS ENOUGH :) Only the OP can make up her mind what this young man is about, we can only advise based on what we are told. Dont throw them both under the bus just yet....she didnt ask to get trampled, just some advice We all made choices to be with our spouses and many have travelled the difficult roads already. TO THE OP: keep your eyes wide open and observe everything for what it is and go with your true feelings. It is not always and easy road and you do have a choice of turning back or going forward. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL....

My husband is an Egyptian Muslim as well, as is his entire family and most everyone he knows...I can say with 100% confidence from having lived there and been around many of them that he as well as the majority of Muslim men I have met would agree with you that having and keeping one wife is more than enough...Definitely only the OP can make a true determination of his character and intentions, hopefully he will be as honorable as she believes him to be.

[oldahmed 38]

im christian so i only have one thx god

plus who can handle more than one ??

So you're talking about "those Muslims"

It's one thing to give an opinion about the issue, and another thing to judge that person.

[Aly174 9]

I missed the part about his family having no knowledge of her or the relationships seriousness. That would explain concern about officials asking them what they know of her or how they feel about the relationship. Please tell me that we have misunderstood and that his family does indeed at the very least know of her and their relationship..please, please, please.....It is a good thing you are going soon for a face to face visit and hopefully meeting family and friends of his, but I wouldn't want to be a "surprise" for them. I had spoken with his sister and father several times before going for even my first visit and his entire family and friends knew all about me before I ever arrived and were very anxious to meet me. Family acceptance is very important especially in this culture and with him being Muslim. My husbands family has been wonderful from the very beginning, sure they had concerns that were addressed early on and i have a very good relationship with all of them. I even lived with his parents on my own in his absence for 2 months and they took me everywhere with them and always treated me with love and respect and as if I were their own daughter.

I really wish you the best and hope all works out well for you. And please feel comfortable contacting any of us personally to talk more, because I get the feeling there is more you may want to talk about and if not..one can never have too many friends:D

[Mithra 1,185]

I read the OP's posts again - where does she state the family doesn't know about her? Was this in a former post or a private conversation with the OP?

[marymina119 3]

im not judging anybody !!!!! calm down man you r the one who is judging me i guess

maybe u r a bit senstive when it comes to the 4 wife issue ???? who knows and who cares ?

Edited January 27, 2011 by marymina119

[Mithra 1,185]

I love how the 4 wives thing always comes up as a dig from some non Muslims. As if it's so easy to take 4 wives or that all Muslim men want 4 wives.

So you're talking about "those Muslims"

It's one thing to give an opinion about the issue, and another thing to judge that person.

[Jenn! 918]

I don't think the OP said that the family didn't know about her.

In people's experiences, family acceptance does seem to matter to the consulate. But I was thinking about whether it should. I mean, I've seen marriages on this forum that turned out to be frauds where the family was apparently enthusiastic about the union - but why wouldn't they be, it's not like they weren't in on the scam as well. Then there have been marriages where I think genuine feelings were involved on both sides (i.e. not a "fraud") and the family had a problem with the union because of difference of religion or whatever reason. Genuine family acceptance is important, but apparent family acceptance, less so. IMO, of course.