When is it Okay to Ask Parents to Pay When Invited to a Birthday Party?

[Peikko 1,575]

I understand that sentiment. However, asking for say $5 per guest is reasonable., IMO. I wouldn't ask for much more than that.

How do you know it's reasonable? It doesn't sound like a lot I know, but for some kids that would be a deal breaker. Unless of course your kids are in private schools? Mine goes to the local school and has/has had friends from all kinds of economic backgrounds.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Just wait till your wife starts doing the "Build-a-Bear" parties, that ####### can get expensive too.

If I were you, I wouldn't fight it... just do your best to get out in front of the parade next time, before she has the chance to plan something... you beat her to the punch with your "group fishing trip" or nature tour hosted by a park ranger.

Orsome other low cost interesting event.

I think you're right. Good idea.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I hope this doesn't come off harsh, it's not meant that way. But sometimes the tone is lost over the net.

It seems kind of low class to ask invitees to help pay for a party for one's own kid. If you can't afford (or don't wish to pay the whole thing), don't have a fancy party. Have a party at your house and your costs won't be as high. We once went all out with the decorations and party supplies and spent over $100 for one of our daughters, but we haven't done that since. Asking people to help offset the party cost rathaer than bring a gift is something your child would not appreciate. Ask them.

[BishopM 114]

I wouldn't ask the kid's parents to pay. If I'm hosting the party and inviting the participants, then I'll foot the bill. That is part of the privilege of hosting and what makes its fun

[one...two...tree 2,762]

How do you know it's reasonable? It doesn't sound like a lot I know, but for some kids that would be a deal breaker. Unless of course your kids are in private schools? Mine goes to the local school and has/has had friends from all kinds of economic backgrounds.

Yeah, I guess I'm not the norm, because I would not feel the least bit offended if my child were invited to a party and I was asked to pitch in $5. I understand though now, after reading others' opinions here that those invited might have a different perspective on it. I'll go crawl back into my cave now.

[Peikko 1,575]

The idea of asking people to a party and then asking them to pay is kinda wierd. If you are hosting a party, you pay. If you are asking a group of friends if they want to join you at an 'event' then that's something else again. A party to celebrate your kids birthday should not involve an entrance fee. What are they, royalty?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I hope this doesn't come off harsh, it's not meant that way. But sometimes the tone is lost over the net.

It seems kind of low class to ask invitees to help pay for a party for one's own kid. If you can't afford (or don't wish to pay the whole thing), don't have a fancy party. Have a party at your house and your costs won't be as high. We once went all out with the decorations and party supplies and spent over $100 for one of our daughters, but we haven't done that since. Asking people to help offset the party cost rathaer than bring a gift is something your child would not appreciate. Ask them.

No offense taken. Where the issue is - the wife wants someone more grandiose than my taste for kid's birthday parties. I'd rather the guests pitch in for the admission to the venue and skip on bringing gifts, but I realize that's unconventional.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

Yeah, I guess I'm not the norm, because I would not feel the least bit offended if my child were invited to a party and I was asked to pitch in $5. I understand though now, after reading others' opinions here that those invited might have a different perspective on it. I'll go crawl back into my cave now.

You don't want your kids friends hearing their parents saying you are a cheapfvck do you?

[Peikko 1,575]

Yeah, I guess I'm not the norm, because I would not feel the least bit offended if my child were invited to a party and I was asked to pitch in $5. I understand though now, after reading others' opinions here that those invited might have a different perspective on it. I'll go crawl back into my cave now.

It's not a question of offense, it's a question of whether you risk not having some of their friends show up because the parent does not have the money to spend on celebrating your kid's birthday and all the stigma that could be created for the child that can't go because the parent's can't or will not afford it.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The idea of asking people to a party and then asking them to pay is kinda wierd. If you are hosting a party, you pay. If you are asking a group of friends if they want to join you at an 'event' then that's something else again. A party to celebrate your kids birthday should not involve an entrance fee. What are they, royalty?

It depends on the venue, IMO.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

Steven, I'll invite you to a Super Bowl Party at my house if you will buy me a new tv.

[Peikko 1,575]

It depends on the venue, IMO.

I don't think it does. If you KNOW that all the parents are middle class rich parents with no economic woes then maybe, but otherwise, there are problems associated with kids being invited and then not being able to go because of the cost. I'd not like to put my kid and his friends in that position, it's that simple for me.

Mind you, I wouldn't organize a super expensive party if I couldn't afford it either. Kids don't care how much the party costs, they care how much fun they have and lots of fun things are very cheap but as I said, require the parents to make an effort and be organized

Edited December 28, 2010 by Madame Cleo

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven, I'll invite you to a Super Bowl Party at my house if you will buy me a new tv.

I'll bring the onion dip and call it even.

[BishopM 114]

No offense taken. Where the issue is - the wife wants someone more grandiose than my taste for kid's birthday parties. I'd rather the guests pitch in for the admission to the venue and skip on bringing gifts, but I realize that's unconventional.

Brother Steve, you're going to have to step aside and let the wife win this one

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You don't want your kids friends hearing their parents saying you are a cheapfvck do you?

At least they won't be spreading rumors about me shagging sheep.

Brother Steve, you're going to have to step aside and let the wife win this one

I think you're right.