Children

[JlovesA 109]

I'm not specifically the demographic the OP was asking for responses from, but I just thought I'd add my 2 cents.

I'm 24 and have never wanted kids, ever. Every now and then I reassess my position on it but I always end up staying with the decision to not have kids. When I met A, I was in a phase of not being sure, I just wanted to see where life led me. As it turns out, he doesn't really want kids either. We're basically 2 kids ourselves. We're responsible, mature people but we can't stand the idea of not being able to do and buy what we want, when we want. I think personally, if I had kids and I had to make sacrifices for it, I would ultimately end up resenting my kid for it.

I think it's naive to think if someone is on the fence about it that they'll regret their decision if they don't have kids. They may be on the fence until they're 40 and then realize it was the right choice.

I'm glad to see everyone here is open-minded and understands not everybody has the biological impulse to spawn, haha.

[Krikit 1,163]

I think we all have the "what if" scenarios run through our minds at one time or another..... no matter which side of the "what if" you're reviewing it from. And I think that's perfectly natural. Having children is a huge responsibility. Like some of the others say... you can never be prepared for all that it entails. I think children will thrive in almost any situation as long as they are loved and nurtured. They're remarkably resilient. And it's amazing to me how the end product turns out when faced with the challenges of life. We each have our own way of "being" based on our environment and circumstances. We are all unique.... just like everyone else. lol. Some of us have a strong desire to procreate and to nurture. Others do not. And that's okay too. I think that it's nice that we're all different.

[warlord 72]

I think we all have the "what if" scenarios run through our minds at one time or another.....

Yeah I had enough of those in highschool and college with girls when I was told several times "um I just missed my......" Ahhhhhhhhh...

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

Ok...I have only 10 minutes to post...But I'll post something about this topic, as I can't stop thinking about it..

The bottom line: Having children/kids is a personal decision. And there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to having kids. Some people have kids, and that's fine. While others don't, which is perfectly fine too. It take all types to be in this world. Children are a big responsiblity, and parenting is FOREVER (heck, parenting lasts longer than some marriages..but that's another topic...), so this is not a decision to be taken lightly..

So think it over before you have children...

The questions that couples should discuss with each other before they have children:

-Is our relationship stong enough to handle 'throwing another person' into the mix?

-Do I have the time to spend with my kids?

-What are my interests and priorities in life?

Regardless, I hope you make the right decision for you and your family....

Ant

[GregBu 1]

Simply put, about two years before my daughter came into my life, I didn't want kids. I slowly came around to the idea, reconsidered and we went ahead with it.

Now, I couldn't imagine my life without my daughter. Couldn't imagine it.

I've since divorced and remarried, in a year or two my wife and I are planning to have two more kids. Can't wait.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I regret it - did it too young (I was 22). At the time, I was ready for children so we had one. Turns out I was not ready......I don't think you can be mentally prepared....there isn't a class you can take that prepares you.

Knowing what I know now....I wouldn't have any or I would have put it off until my mid 30's when I was more mature. I had not cultivated patience at 22, I was too into myself and then there were the monetary concerns which came along with being young and not having an established job and trying to support.

My husband agrees that he would not do it again either - he has 2 sons from his first marriage.

Having children is a full-time job on top of whatever else you're doing already. Children will change your life no matter what you think - you will see a side of yourself that is stronger then you ever thought possible, you will see a side which loves harder then you ever imagined and then you will also see an ugly side of yourself that you've never seen - you will yell, scream, cry and rant . Children can bring out the worst in you - parts that you never knew existed because in the adult world - everyone knows how to act. A child can push your buttons like no tomorrow. You and your wife will see sides of eachother you never saw before - good and bad.

It just is what it is......but I wouldn't do it knwoing what I know now.

My personal experiences obviously colour my perception.

[antda 13]

Oh I forgot to add, here are more questions to consider:

-What is your lifestyle and living/household situation?

-Are you ready to handle any challenges and potential problems that may occur while parenting?

-What is your financial/economic sitiation (lol..grant it, you don't need a million dollars, but you do need some sort of money set aside for child-related expenses...lol...diapers don't come cheaply!)

-What is your health and age? (for example, there are more risks for women over a certain age to have children, and can result in risks for the baby too)

-What is your social situation? Who do you hang out with?

-How do you see yourself with children and without children?

-Can you see yourself putting your children first, above all else?

-Can you give your children the most important thing of all: unconditional love...

etc.

Lol..I'll write more later.....

But I hope this gives you more to think about too.....

Ant

Edited September 25, 2010 by Ant+D+BabyA

[shawna7 4]

I had my first child 1 month before I turned 18..I had my second 5 years later..Most people assume given the chance I would change this..surprisingly to most I would not.

It was not always easy..but was absolutely worth every second..every sacrifice, and every tear I cried in joy(or in despair..lol)

I now have 3 beautiful grandchildren from my oldest daughter...If I had not chosen to have her..well...I wouldn't have them either.

Now..My husband(not the girls dad) He has never wanted children of his own..and has never for one second had regrest about his choice..he loves my girls...just doesn't want any of his own.

1

I agree with so many of the other posters..there is never a perfect time, there could always be more money, or a bigger house or whatever.

You will know if its the right choice for you..you will in all probability be scared sh!tless! lol...but we all were!

And if you decide not to have them...you will probably have twinges of regret somewhere down the line.

But no matter what you decide..you will ultimately be happy...because you stopped to think about it which many people do not bother to do.

so kudos to you for really thinking about what you're doing. You will make a wonderful parent one day if thats your choice.

[HisGirl 0]

I don't want children and neither does my husband. We are both very happy with our decision and have no regrets

[Sprailenes 47]

Oh I forgot to add, here are more questions to consider:

-What is your lifestyle and living/household situation?

-Are you ready to handle any challenges and potential problems that may occur while parenting?

-What is your financial/economic sitiation (lol..grant it, you don't need a million dollars, but you do need some sort of money set aside for child-related expenses...lol...diapers don't come cheaply!)

-What is your health and age? (for example, there are more risks for women over a certain age to have children, and can result in risks for the baby too)

-What is your social situation? Who do you hang out with?

-How do you see yourself with children and without children?

-Can you see yourself putting your children first, above all else?

-Can you give your children the most important thing of all: unconditional love...

etc.

Lol..I'll write more later.....

But I hope this gives you more to think about too.....

Ant

Please don't.

[antda 13]

Please don't.

Why not?

Children are important, after all..

Ant

[antda 13]

Really....People should think carefully before they have children.....

And make sure that this is the decision for them, that's all....

After all, the children don't have a choice as to whether or not they want to exist......

So it is up to the parents to make the best decision in this matter..

If one has children...fine..

If one doesn't have children...fine...

But the important thing is that the children are happy and loved, no matter what...

Ant

[Sprailenes 47]

Why not?

Children are important, after all..

Ant

No I was asking you to not "post more"

Enough of your long winded mundane answers filled with emoticons and Lol's.

Seriously! Enough already!

Edited September 28, 2010 by Sprailenes

[antda 13]

No I was asking you to not "post more"

Enough of your long winded mundane answers filled with emoticons and Lol's.

Seriously! Enough already!

Lol...You don't have to read it.....

If others want to read it...fine.....

Lol...:):):):)....Sending smileys to all you VJers out there!!!

Ant

[Sprailenes 47]

I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm just the only one who'll tell you the truth.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Sprailenes